I'm curious - A Modesty Question.

[JessicaR]

OK so after reading a few posts lately I have a question.


Were you raised by a mom/dad or guardian that was/is modest? Never saw them naked or in the bathroom, always covering up if you walked in on them. Modesty is really the best term I can conjure up to describe it. I'm sure there are better ones

I am thinking that a persons make-up really doesn't have much to do with how you are raised in regards to modesty. Maybe a little but not much.

My mom is SO modest. Almost crazy modest! I have two sisters. I am extremely not modest and so is one of my sisters. The other however is just like my mom. I do not embarrass easily over nudity.

So I now have two boys and my husband and I both are not modest yet one son is.

Whatcha think?

 

[rhpools]

My dad went into the bathroom to take his shower fully dressed and came out fully dressed!

 

[C.Ann]

Well - being of the - ummm - "older generation" (LOL) - yes, I was raised by extremely modest parents.. I would now put myself somewhere "middle of the road".. My older sister is very modest - as is my older brother..

Although I think how one was raised "can" play a role in modesty, I don't think it's an absolute "given"..

Is that what you meant?

 

[WDWMom]

My parents were not modest. Saw them naked, well, not a lot, but whenever. DH comes from very modest parents so we are around our children but not around each other. DD19 is overly modest, can't say the last I saw her naked - probably at 5 DS15 and DS14 have never been modest until recently. Used to pee with the door wide open and undress with door open. Bugged the heck out of their sister. NOw that she is in college they have started closing and locking bathroom doors. Me, I hardly push the door close. Never lock it. I don't think our boys have ever seen my naked that they could remember. Don't care if DD does.

 

[JessicaR]

Well - being of the - ummm - "older generation" (LOL) - yes, I was raised by extremely modest parents.. I would now put myself somewhere "middle of the road".. My older sister is very modest - as is my older brother..

Although I think how one was raised "can" play a role in modesty, I don't think it's an absolute "given"..

Is that what you meant?

Exactly!

 

[kimblebee]

My dad went into the bathroom to take his shower fully dressed and came out fully dressed!

This is the only way I've ever known too. My parents are both pretty modest. The riskiest thing I've seen my mom in is her bathrobe and I've always seen my dad in pj shirt and pants. I don't walk around in a towel in my house even though it is just me and my daughter (9). She does get undressed in her room and wear a towel to the bathroom. Her room is literally 2 steps from the bathroom so it's no big deal. It doesn't bother me at all.

 

[lemondog]

I never saw my dad naked but I did see my mom plenty, like when she was changing clothes.

As for me, I am not modest around my kids and husband, but that's it. Anyone else I am VERY modest. My husband is extremely modest around our kids because they are girls and he does not want them to see him naked ever. I still shower with my kids to save water.

 

[JessicaR]

Well - being of the - ummm - "older generation" (LOL) - yes, I was raised by extremely modest parents.. I would now put myself somewhere "middle of the road".. My older sister is very modest - as is my older brother..

Although I think how one was raised "can" play a role in modesty, I don't think it's an absolute "given"..

Is that what you meant?

Oh but wait! You think the older generation has anything to do with it? Don't you think the older generation had its share of people that werent modest?

 

[luvsJack]

I would say that everyone here is appropriately modest, as in dh doesn't walk around in his boxers (or without them) in front of dd and I do not walk around undressed in front of my sons. But with the same sex child, I don't think either of us were overly modest.

When my sons got to a certain age, I was NEVER called into the bathroom to get them a towel or something. They dressed in their rooms. They didn't hide from each other though and being athletes had plenty of dressing and undressing in locker rooms and such

same with dd.

 

[ziggystardust]

the most I've ever remember seeing of my mother was her in a bra/underwear. Now that I'm older (29), not that I see more of her, just probably more often. Like in dressing rooms and such. Same goes for my sisters. With one, we shared a room for 16 years, then moved in together for a few years, and thats really the most of it. When we go shopping together we tend to jump in dressing rooms together, to save time. Also there's always the trying on of 100 shirts. So I guess thats not modest, but not super...whatever the opposite is.

 

[snarlingcoyote]

In my family women aren't modest around other women - we get undressed entirely around each other, use the toilet, take showers, whatever. No modesty whatsoever. I recently took my niece clothes shopping and wanted to try on a swimsuit. We were chatting and just, without thinking, went into the changing area, chattering away. Once I was halfway into my swimsuit, I realized maybe she was being raised with different standards than what I was used to, and asked if she was okay? Niece rolled her eyes "like I haven't seen old lady naked before" she informed me.


Now men. . .no. We're modest when there are men around, unless we're married to the man in question.

I had no problems in college sharing a room with 2 other girls and using communal showers and toilets. But then, neither did most of the girls I knew. We all routinely ran around in bras and panties and tanned topless in the courtyard (men weren't allowed into our dorm and the courtyard was surrounded by the wings of the dorm, so was quite private). I remember quite vividly heading over to a friend's room a couple of doors down in just my jeans to borrow a top and seeing a maintenance guy in the hallway. (They were supposed to yell out "man in the hall.") I covered myself up with my arms and hands, screamed bloody murder and ran back into my dorm room! I called our Dorm mother and complained bitterly, and she agreed with me, as girls ran around in their underwear all the time!

 

[princessmom29]

I think we are middle of the road. It never bothered mom to share a store dressing room with me or my sister, or to change clothes in front of us. Dad would go shirtless, but not undies. We are basically the same in our house as we only have one DD. she is 6,and I don't think she really worries about it at all. she will still let DH help her wash her hair (we still have to check it, as it is midway down her back). I am sure there will be a day when she will only want mom.

 

[CathrynRose]

My mom was not modest, I am not modest, my kids are not modest.

 

[C.Ann]

Oh but wait! You think the older generation has anything to do with it? Don't you think the older generation had its share of people that werent modest?

Hmmm.. That's a very good question! I can only speak for the "older generation" that I was exposed to (no pun intended - LOL) - parents; grandparents; aunts; uncles; etc., who were all extremely modest..

 

[trip]

So if people are labeled modest because they cover up are people that don't cover up labeled exhibitionists

 

[JessicaR]

So if people are labeled modest because they cover up are people that don't cover up labeled exhibitionists

No, they're just not modest.

 

[goofy!]

By American standards, my parents were very, very open. They are both immigrants from Europe, so had different views of the human body. Topless was not an issue with them. Actually, I don't think modesty was in their vocabulary. They had no issues with their bodies or anybody's else's.

My mother is a child psychologist that does lots of work in her home. Hanging in the living room is a full size, extremely good, oil replica of Modigliani's Elvira. Since her young clients waited in the living room, I always wondered what parents thought of having their 4 year old sitting underneath a life size naked lady. Didn't seem to hurt her practice at all.

Husband's parents were extremely modest.

I am a bit more modest than my parents with my own body (I couldn't bring myself to go topless on a public beach), but it doesn't bother me a bit to see skin on other people, even the teens. Husband is about the same as me. Our kids have seen us in our underwear on occasion. I am probably less modest than DH.

One of my children is an incredibly conservative and an extremely modest young adult, in all areas. We old folks are the ones telling him to loosen up, rather than him telling his uptight parents to loosen up. He is the one complaining that his (adult) sister's shorts are too short. He is totally the opposite of his relatively hippy parents. Probably a good thing

My other son - not so modest. He will walk around in his boxers, but he does shut the door when he showers. Does not want his mother and his sister to see him.

Daughter has Down syndrome, so was pushed very hard on social modesty. Her natural tendency follows her maternal grandparents and is more open about her body.

 

[goofy!]

Oh but wait! You think the older generation has anything to do with it? Don't you think the older generation had its share of people that werent modest?

My mother is almost 80 (dad is gone) and they were very, very, VERY not modest. But they both grew up in Europe where there is a different viewpoint of the human body.

 

[pigletgirl]

I'm pretty modest. Not extreme but I'm not out to flash the world either.
ETA: didn't realize the rest of your post OP!

Both parents are modest however my mom and I will share a dressing room and whatnot. It's no big deal. I have never seen my dad naked. Not once.

 

[JessicaR]

My mother is almost 80 (dad is gone) and they were very, very, VERY not modest. But they both grew up in Europe where there is a different viewpoint of the human body.

Thats what made me think about it too. My grandma who is passed now was not modest at all. She grew up in Italy and moved to NY as a teen.