I'm a bad and somewhat clueless mom..

[MoniqueU]

My DD 12 had science camp this week. I offered to pack her, told her to take her uggs, she said that wasn't allowed only running shoes. We had to dig through a pile out in the garage to even find a pair of running shoes. Where I live no one wears them. I don't get why she couldnt take her ugg boots. I can't see well so I didn't read the packing list. She did it all herself. WELL I didn't check the forecast. We live in Southern California and this was in a mountain town about an hour away. Well where we live it is either sunny and hotter then hell or sunny and cool. Well according to my DD it snowed or hailed, she can be a little dramatic. I was surprised by that and figured mot of the other kids didn't have mittens or gloves or snowboots. She said nope most of them had them. I don't watch the local news or even own an umbrella, it just wouldn't occur to me.

Second stupid thing I did this week was tell my oldest DD she could go to Az. I talked to the other mom, she seemed nice it is a split relationship custody deal so dad was driving the kids out halfway to meet the mom. Ok I am fine with that. Up they pull after school and like 5 kids hop out of an older suburban. I jokingly asked how many people could fit in their car, the little boy said 9. I laughed. The girl and the other kids seemed nice but a little worn around the edges. Ok no big deal my youngest DD isn't too into her looks and can look that way too. Dad was ok, not overly friendly but with 5 kids hopping out of the car he was probably just stressed. Ok so here goes the boy am I flipping stupid or what part.. When my dd says az to me its a 4 hour ride to Phoenix. We do it usually once a year. its just like saying can I go to NV for the weekend, ok no big deal Las vegas is 4 hours away. Well my DD neglected to tell me that she is going nowhere near phoenix and it is a 7 hour ride to somewhere named Benson AZ. Holy Hell. You know those small little details that I just overlook on a daily basis have just come to bite me in the tush. Before I found out how far away she was I was already on the phone with my BF saying my DH may have to go get her because this might be a culture shock for her. She wanted to go because they have horses and she has ridden since age 5: I don't think it is going to be like she thinks it is. I don't even want to admit to my DH wth I just did, he will KILL ME.

 

[HeatherH]

I live in SoCal too...your kid doesn't have running shoes? Don't they have PE in school? Sure, mine lives in flip flops most of the time, but she does have Skechers and Vans...that's what they wear in the winter. And she had regular old running shoes for gym.

Mine is a junior now, but when she was in 5th grade they did the camp too..and she got snowed on as well (although they went in MARCH and not April, this late winter season is killing me). The school was VERY explicit in their instructions about what to bring, and a winter coat, hats and gloves were all in there. The kids were actually THRILLED about the snow (being SoCal kids and all) but they were glad they had the snow gear.

Yeah, you get a bad mommy award for that one.

As for the older daughter... is right! I'm sure she will be fine but I wouldn't be comfortable with that situation either.

 

[MoniqueU]

Well yes of course she has Vans LOL, thats all she wears but apparently either the teacher or the packing list was specific about them being traditional running type shoes like joggers wear. I don't understand why she also couldn't pack her uggs. She was real insistent that that was a no no.

The other thing with my older DD oh please just shoot me now. And I am betting money on it that she knew the whole time how far it was and just glossed over the its nowhere near phoenix part of the story.

 

[Imzadi]

Mountainous terrain requires shoes or boots with grippy traction soles. I once took my BFF and her younger sister up to the mountains. I told both of them they have to wear running/walking sneakers or boots which look like the bumpy, deep crisscross treads of snow tires.

If they didn't wear them, we weren't going up the mountain trails. No way was I going to have either of them slide down a muddy trail or literally slip off the side of a slippery cliff because they lost their footing. Something like that is so easily preventable by wearing the right shoes in the first place. Uggs may be warm, but they aren't mountain boots.

 

[pixiewings71]

You guys do science camp in 5th grade? we do it in 6th, well we did but with all the budget cuts who knows now?

 

[LuvCuteBoys]

If they didn't wear them, we weren't going up the mountain trails. No way was I going to have either of them slide down a muddy trail or literally slip off the side of a slippery cliff because they lost their footing. Something like that is so easily preventable by wearing the right shoes in the first place. Uggs may be warm, but they aren't mountain boots.

good grief... even with deeply treaded running shoes, there's no way I'd want my 12-yr-old going someplace where this was a serious concern for a school trip

 

[karibritt01]

Sorry, not to sound preachy, but I can't believe you let your kid go off for the weekend without knowing exactly where she was going, and having never met either parent! AZ does have more than 1 city!

 

[MoniqueU]

It's 6th here. I am going to put an extra blanket on her tonight and give her extra love. I can do that since I will be up all night waiting for a call that my 13 year old is somewhere on Route 10 north of nogales NM i think it is. At least my oldest daughter checks the weather 10 times a day if she is going somewhere.
I think I am going to go have a glass of wine and see if they got switched to the moms car yet.

 

[MoniqueU]

Sorry, not to sound preachy, but I can't believe you let your kid go off for the weekend without knowing exactly where she was going, and having never met either parent! AZ does have more than 1 city!

Preach it loud LOL. I am kicking myself and am terrified my DH is going to kill me. In my defense it has beeen a super stressful week with my grandpa getting airlifted to a hospital in san diego and having his leg amputated today after 2 surgeries since last saturday. I let her go out ot the desert with another friend and that worked out fine, so I just figured ok new girl, az no big deal. I won't even admit this to my other best friend she will fly out here to kick my butt. Usually I am the paranoid overprotective one that is why if my DH find out what I did I am dead meat.

 

[Imzadi]

good grief... even with deeply treaded running shoes, there's no way I'd want my 12-yr-old going someplace where this was a serious concern for a school trip

Mountains are mountains around here. We don't rope off or add manmade fences or railings to the nature trails in our state parks & wilderness areas. (See the mountains in Daniel Day Lewis' film, The Last of the Mohegans. They pretty much represent the mountains in the area we went to.)

Even if people do not go to such hazardous routes, to go to mountainous areas without the proper shoes/boots are just asking for trouble. It doesn't take much to twist or sprain an ankle. The proper treads grip any roughness it can on a slippery area.

 

[karibritt01]

Preach it loud LOL. I am kicking myself and am terrified my DH is going to kill me. In my defense it has beeen a super stressful week with my grandpa getting airlifted to a hospital in san diego and having his leg amputated today after 2 surgeries since last saturday. I let her go out ot the desert with another friend and that worked out fine, so I just figured ok new girl, az no big deal. I won't even admit this to my other best friend she will fly out here to kick my butt. Usually I am the paranoid overprotective one that is why if my DH find out what I did I am dead meat.

Prayers for your Grandpa. And maybe this once you can trust that your DD chooses her friends wisely, and all is fine. I'm sure this time has scared you enough that you will never make that mistake again. (And don't tell my DH and kids, but I'm not a perfect parent either!)

 

[MoniqueU]

Prayers for your Grandpa. And maybe this once you can trust that your DD chooses her friends wisely, and all is fine. I'm sure this time has scared you enough that you will never make that mistake again. (And don't tell my DH and kids, but I'm not a perfect parent either!)

.

Thank You. My DD has made alot of new friends this year having started jr high and is soooooo much happier then elementary school, just night and day. i have loved all my DD's new friends and really love the change in my daughter, I have loosened up a little but I still needed to be on my game as far as where she was going. This week has been a total blur of calls and texts and prayers said for my grandpa who just lost my grandma 3 days after Christmas. The whole week is a haze. Time to step bavk up to the plate.

 

[disneyjunkie]

Preach it loud LOL. I am kicking myself and am terrified my DH is going to kill me. In my defense it has beeen a super stressful week with my grandpa getting airlifted to a hospital in san diego and having his leg amputated today after 2 surgeries since last saturday. I let her go out ot the desert with another friend and that worked out fine, so I just figured ok new girl, az no big deal. I won't even admit this to my other best friend she will fly out here to kick my butt. Usually I am the paranoid overprotective one that is why if my DH find out what I did I am dead meat.

Why would your husband give you a hard time about it? He could have checked out all of the details.

Instead of saying how could YOU have done that, he should say how could WE have done that.

 

[MoniqueU]

Why would your husband give you a hard time about it? He could have checked out all of the details.

Instead of saying how could YOU have done that, he should say how could WE have done that.

Yes he could have as well, he works alot of shifts from 11 am to 9 pm so I am basically "in charge" of the kids. Other then the fact I don't really cook and clean we have an old fashioned relationship where the kids are my domain and he only steps in when one of them are out of line.He is a great dad and rearanges his schedule for my oldsest sons football games and goes to every practice the kids have. But as far as this goes it was up to me and my judgement.
I am waiting til 10 to call the other mom and make sure things are ok and confirm what time she is home on sunday. My biggest concern is how the other parents drive and how far she is from an airport to get home. She is way the heck out in BFE. UGH it was a long night for me.

 

[LuvCuteBoys]

Mountains are mountains around here. We don't rope off or add manmade fences or railings to the nature trails in our state parks & wilderness areas. (See the mountains in Daniel Day Lewis' film, The Last of the Mohegans. They pretty much represent the mountains in the area we went to.)

Even if people do not go to such hazardous routes, to go to mountainous areas without the proper shoes/boots are just asking for trouble. It doesn't take much to twist or sprain an ankle. The proper treads grip any roughness it can on a slippery area.

Oh, and that's the way it should be... I didn't mean that the nature of the landscape should change. It's just that the thought of a school trip to somewhere with such a potential for injury scares me.

Of course, I'm the girl who trips on my shadow so that may have something to do with it

 

[Mary•Poppins]

I think the situation with your youngest isn't the end of the world. I am a teacher that works with our 5th graders that take this trip every year. We do have children that are unprepared for what every reason and the teachers usually have "back up" clothes ... or other children share.

However, the situation with your oldest I really, really don't mean to flame you ... but I would tell your husband and really think this through. To have not met both parents and not communicated enough with the parents about the trip to have this come as a totally surprise is very worrisome. (I know children won't tell the truth when they want to get something they want ... however, not to have communicated with the parents about the logistics of this trip ???) I just know there are parents I would let my children go away with and trust ... and there are parents I would NEVER let my kids go away with ...

 

[MoniqueU]

Mary Poppisn you aren't flaming at all, just pointing out how thigs shoukd of and usualoly are handeld.

I spoke to the mom again this morning and fee 100 percebt better. She had asked my DD if she had allergies and spoke to me about letting the otlder girls split up at a small fair there, I said that is fine she just needs your cell number and a meeting place in case they get lost and a time and place to meet up. She couldn't of sounded more responsible to me and I am glad she got my opinion rather then just assuming it would be ok. I feel tons better now. So other the the extra 3 hours drive time I am feeling better. I did speak with my DH about it not saying where n AZ she was but he says if she doesn't like it he will go get her. But it seems she is having a fun time, Now I am just worried about her getting home safe and sound.
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I know I messed up big time but I think it is going to work out. Next time I will get more details like I did when she went quad riding in the desert