If You Met Someone Who Went To An Old-Money, Exclusive Boarding School, What Would You Ask Them?

[FairestOfThemAll37]

Ignoring whether or not I can afford it (not sure I can), I would support them going there if they wanted to, but I don't think it can be forced upon them. You have to be the right fit.

My oldest is finishing 4th grade now, and I have a hard time imagining her being able to be socially independent enough. She has no interest in sleep-away summer camp at this point, whereas she has many peers that do so. We still even have a hard time with sleepovers.

But things can change quickly. After 6th grade I went to a month long sleep away camp. I was pretty homesick the first 10 days or so. When I got home from that I realized how much I loved it, and it was the highlight of my next two years. That's part of what made boarding school look like the right fit for me. My oldest might have some kind of turnaround in the next year or two, but I just don't see it at this point.

This is a really good point. While it was the norm for my primary school, I was the only one in my family who attended boarding school. I think my parents thought I was just suited to it. I was always very independent and seemed to yearn for something more than the homogeny of my hometown from quite a young age.

I went to sleepaway camp for the first time at 8 for 4 weeks. By the time I was 11, I was staying for 8 weeks.

People are always surprised to hear I was the only child to go away for school. I almost inevitably get the follow-up of "did your parents not like you as much?" That always cracks me up. It never crossed my mind then nor has it in retrospect. It just always seemed like the right decision for me.

 

[AppleDumpling]

In many ways we hear of the reputation of these elite prep schools as places where maybe kids manage to get away with bad behavior because their parents are rich and can afford good attorneys. There are a few Silicon Valley execs who sent their kids to prep schools and then Ivy League schools, and they can't seem to keep them out of the news for doing things that would normally land others in jail or would get them booted from school.

That may be true, however it's unfair to paint them all with the same brush. I'm sure like any other school, there are "good" kids and "bad" kids in terms of behavior. Although they are privileged, I wouldn't presume that all children from wealthy families are out-of-control spoiled brats.

Not to be political, but Trump's three oldest kids attended boarding school. The boys went to a school in PA, and Ivanka went to Choate in CT, where JFK and lots of other famous people have gone. Ivanka has been quoted as saying it was like a prison and she missed all the fun her friends in NYC were having. Doesn't sound like it was her choice to go there.

Anyway, I think it's time I left this thread and let more DISers who've had experience give their point of view, which is what OP is looking for.

 

[arminnie]

Many of my classmates at Tulane and Stanford went to private boarding schools. Most because they lived in places that had very rudimentary educational opportunities for high school. Some went on scholarships to Andover and similar schools.

I grew up very, very poor by anyone's standards. I didn't live in the projects, but lived next door so many, many of my classmates did. But I was fortunate to go to a public high school that offered many advanced classes (even 50 years ago). My high school physics class was far more advanced than my first year of college as was my high school calculus class.

Most of my girlfriends from high school who went to college (most did not) graduated in 3 years like I did. I never felt the least bit academically inferior to those who had been to the top prep schools. I was always in the honors classes at Tulane and Stanford and always held my own.

My nephew went to Lawrenceville (near Princeton), but he was a day student. I think most parents want their children to have the best educational opportunities appropriate to their children's aptitude and ambition. One of my cousins's sons wanted to be an aircraft mechanic. A boarding school would not have fit his needs. He's now done quite well at Southwest Airlines. Everytime I fly Southwest I'm glad he took that route.