If You Met Someone Who Went To An Old-Money, Exclusive Boarding School, What Would You Ask Them?

[Marchand63]

Ask me what you want. Phillips Academy, Andover Ma, same time as JFK Jr.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

Really poor=qualifies for need based aid, grew up on (and possibly still on welfare). Most of it is that the state I went to college in was much more rural and blue collar than the state I grew up in. I knew a lot of people who were first gen students in college. That would not describe anyone at my high school. but again, I went to a private high school so that skews things.

Ah then we honestly have very different definitions of really poor. I can't in good conscience say I was really poor just because I qualified for financial aid (pell grants, federal loans, etc).

Really poor to me is you have no food or food is very scarce, you may or may not have consistent housing, basic needs may not be fully met, etc. If you were on welfare (which I agree can make you quite poor depending on your individual situation) chances are college may not even be on your mind not even community college or it may be on the back burner so to speak.

 

[QueenIsabella]

Not to rain on your parade, but it seems like this issue has been done to death in print and other media. You might want to see if you can come up with a unique and interesting angle on boarding school kids. Something a little more original than that prep schools have a lot of children from old-money families attending them.

Beyond that, I can tell you that my experiences with the rich crowd (old and new money), is that they are way more like the average population than you'd think. Some are pompous jerks, some are the nicest people you could hope to meet. You probably couldn't spot a trust fund baby if one were standing in front of you.

 

[anniemae]

I would ask if they thought the school helped them to get a better job than someone who went to a regular public high school. In other words, was it worth the money after all was said an done?

I know someone who has kids in an exclusive private school. I wonder if her kids will get better jobs, get further in life etc. than someone who goes to public school. Otherwise, what was all that money for?

 

[Poohforyou]

Maybe not to you, but for this kid who grew up poor-ish in the Midwest, it's a part of life that I have never seen apart from how it's been depicted in the media.

It isn't like it's depicted in movies. In many ways boarding schools today aren't much different than college except there's much more accountability for students whereabouts, there are curfews, and stuff like that.

 

[rastahomie]

I know someone who has kids in an exclusive private school. I wonder if her kids will get better jobs, get further in life etc. than someone who goes to public school. Otherwise, what was all that money for?

I have family that sent their kids to exclusive Catholic day schools, and they did it for two reasons: 1) the local bishop convinced them that the town's public schools were the playground of The Devil, and b) they were Capital-C Catholic and wanted their kids Catholicized as much as possible.

 

[rastahomie]

It isn't like it's depicted in movies. In many ways boarding schools today aren't much different than college except there's much more accountability for students whereabouts, there are curfews, and stuff like that.

See, this is something I wouldn't have known if you hadn't told me. For all I know it's somewhere between prison (as depicted in Dead Poet's Society) and a sexed-up free-for-all (as depicted in Late Night Skinemax movies that I wasn't supposed to watch). That's why I'm asking these questions.

 

[Marchand63]

You would be surprised. It was way more academically freeing than regular schools. Plus where else do you get to repel down a bell tower

 

[Marchand63]

See, this is something I wouldn't have known if you hadn't told me. For all I know it's somewhere between prison (as depicted in Dead Poet's Society) and a sexed-up free-for-all (as depicted in Late Night Skinemax movies that I wasn't supposed to watch). That's why I'm asking these questions.

Yeah, no. I never stood on my desk & shouted -Captain, my Captain nor did I ever indulge in an orgy or run from a serial killer.

 

[rastahomie]

Yeah, no. I never stood on my desk & shouted -Captain, my Captain nor did I ever indulge in an orgy or run from a serial killer.

Well there goes my article.

 

[FairestOfThemAll37]

Obviously everyone's experiences are going to be different, which is why I'm currently contacting alumni offices at multiple old-money boarding schools, trying to find someone who's willing to talk.

@Poohforyou , @Micca , and @tasha99 , @Westcoastwild if you are comfortable doing so, would you please give my email address to the people you know who went to boarding school? I'm trying to interview at least four or five people for my article. Just tell them "this guy thinks he's going to get a Pulitzer writing about boarding school, you might be able to help him." My email address is: aaronhomer522@gmail(dot)com

Thanks!

Just out of curiosity, which schools have you/are you contacting?

 

[rastahomie]

Just out of curiosity, which schools have you/are you contacting?

I should have been more clear. I meant to say that contacting alumni offices is Phase 2, right now I'm working on Phase 1, which is talking to people I've managed to contact here on the DIS and another message board. At the time I wrote that post, I'd gotten nothing but disinterested shrugs from the people I was able to contact. But since then a few people have stepped in and are being quite helpful!

Anyway, when I do move on the Phase 2 I'm just going to do a Google Search and contact the first 10 or so that have a dedicated alumni person with a published email address. Repeat until someone is able & willing to help.

OH, and I'm going to contact the Montgomery Bell Academy in Nashville and try to sweet-talk their alumni guy, their PR guy, someone/anyone who would be willing to talk to me. I'll give 10 million internets to whomever can tell me why I'm particularly interested in talking to them.

 

[DawnM]

As I've said before here on the DIS, I'm a professional writer. I'm thinking of writing an article about what life is really like in exclusive boarding schools (think: The Facts of Life or Dead Poets Society) vs. how it's portrayed in the media. You guys get to help!

If you met someone who went to an exclusive boarding school, what would you ask them? So far, I've got:

• Is/was bullying (by peers, by teachers) a problem, or does the media play it up for drama?
• How was the food?
• Overall, was it a positive experience or a negative one?

If you have any other suggestions for questions, I'd love to hear them!

And, if you actually boarded at (or attended as a day student) an exclusive, Old Money boarding school, and are willing to talk about your experiences, please let me know so we can exchange contact info! You can be anonymous, of course.

Did being separated from your families and their support impede or enhance your studies?

I think the above questions could be asked of anyone who attended boarding school, not just the elite prep schools.

I went to boarding school for much of my childhood, but it was not in the US. My parents were overseas and boarding school was the only option other than homeschooling (we called it correspondence school back then) and very few people did it.

For the area I was in, it was considered "elite" but it wouldn't be by US standards.

 

[pfalcioni]

As a professional writer, don't you find that interviewees respond more favorably when you've done your homework and ask intelligent questions? I've written a few minor articles for motorsports publications and have found that riders aren't engaged or responsive unless I have solid information about the event, how they placed, how they've been doing in the series, their previous efforts at that particular track, that kind of thing. They're not being snobs, they just don't have much to say when someone asks "How was your race?", or in your case "How was the food?"

 

[rastahomie]

As a professional writer, don't you find that interviewees respond more favorably when you've done your homework and ask intelligent questions?

Do you truly believe that I've started interviewing people with nothing more than "how was the food"?

 

[pfalcioni]

Do you truly believe that I've started interviewing people with nothing more than "how was the food"?

Well, since your first post stated...
"If you met someone who went to an exclusive boarding school, what would you ask them? So far, I've got:

• Is/was bullying (by peers, by teachers) a problem, or does the media play it up for drama?
• How was the food?
• Overall, was it a positive experience or a negative one?"

...and you're asking for forum member's experiences, you did essentially start the interview process with nothing more than this.

A quick search with Mr. Google shows lots of excellent articles that would definitely aid your early research. Not only to give you ideas for leading questions, but also to ascertain if you're writing a story that's already been done multiple times from exactly the same angle.

 

[Mirielle]

Attended boarding school 3 years. It's not like the movies.

 

[powellrj]

I use to work with someone back in the early 80's who did. The only things I remember asking him about were the things we had seen in the movie Love Story. When we got mad at him we would call him preppy.

 

[sonnyjane]

As I've said before here on the DIS, I'm a professional writer. I'm thinking of writing an article about what life is really like in exclusive boarding schools (think: The Facts of Life or Dead Poets Society) vs. how it's portrayed in the media. You guys get to help!

If you met someone who went to an exclusive boarding school, what would you ask them? So far, I've got:

• Is/was bullying (by peers, by teachers) a problem, or does the media play it up for drama?
• How was the food?
• Overall, was it a positive experience or a negative one?

If you have any other suggestions for questions, I'd love to hear them!

And, if you actually boarded at (or attended as a day student) an exclusive, Old Money boarding school, and are willing to talk about your experiences, please let me know so we can exchange contact info! You can be anonymous, of course.

On the other side of the coin, I went to one, so if you have questions, PM me. My parents taught there so I got to attend for free, otherwise it would have been $40k a year (and that was 20 years ago)

 

[bcla]

I have family that sent their kids to exclusive Catholic day schools, and they did it for two reasons: 1) the local bishop convinced them that the town's public schools were the playground of The Devil, and b) they were Capital-C Catholic and wanted their kids Catholicized as much as possible.

I know a couple that sent their daughters to a Catholic high school. In conversations, they said there was no way they would let them be at a public high school because they didn't like the kind of cliques at school. Their two boys went to the same high school I went to. I didn't necessarily get it, but it was their decision.

I personally don't recall anyone who I would have identified as someone who attended an old-money boarding school. Of course there aren't really many of those around here. I guess there might have been a few when I attended UC Berkeley, but for the most part nobody would really want to admit that. Plenty of fellow students who went to private high schools though.