If you invite someone to a church function, are you trying to get them to join?

[Skywalker]

Our neighbours have invited us to a few of their church functions, but my husband refuses to go because he truly believes they just want to get us involved with their church. I told him, I am pretty sure there is no brainwashing involved and so it will be safe to him to attend LOL.

However, he insists that their whole point in inviting us is the hope we will become part of the congregation and so to go and enjoy the function is not honest. I just thought they did it to be friendly and share a family-friendly function with us.

Am I out to lunch here? Are they doing it only because they want to "lure us in" LOL to quote husband.

I would appreciate opinions from both sides because now I really don't know!

Thank you

 

[BethR]

I am a Catholic and Catholics are not generally known for their "recruitment."

If I would ask someone to attend a something at my church - maybe a speaker that they might enjoy, or a musical program, or even a card party, it would simply be because I thought that they might like to go. For me, it would never be because I was seeking out convert material.

 

[clh2]

What type of function is this?

We've been invited by a neighbor to go with their church when the go to ball games (i.e. not all of their ticket block was used up, and extra tickets were available), I would never join that church, due to some personal opinions I have, that differ from this church. We had a great time at the game, and it really wasn't a "churchy" type of function.

I've also been invited to a women's night out, at a "mega church" in our area. I did attend, as did many women from our subdivision, many also were not members. This was a little more meditative function, as opposed to a social function. While I didn't have an awful time there, I'm not sure I would attend this one next year. But, there was no "pressure" to join the church this evening.

hope this helps!

 

[Stacerita]

I dont think your DH is to far off on this. You neighbors might not be trying to lure you in. But then again they might.

The church I belong has functions and such that we are encouraged to bring "non church" friends to. Not so much to convert them. But to bring them to church in a "non threatening" manner and possibly give them information. Many of the activities and events held at my church are meant for the community and not just the congregation.

I invite lots of people to different things at my church, not with the intent to convert them or lure them in, but if I truely think they might enjoy the event.

 

[poohandwendy]

LOL, I have no idea of what your neighbors motives are, but I can tell you that my mother and sister are constantly trying to lure me into their church by inviting me to different events, etc. I have been there and it does not have the 'feel' I am looking for in a church. And the pastor does not move me, kwim?

I prefer a smaller church, they prefer larger. They keep trying, but I keep telling them the same thing, "thanks, but no thanks". Oh well.

Just wanted to add, it really doesn't bother me that they do this and many times I will go to the function, mainly to make them happy. But, I am not someone who feels pressured or permanently obligated just because I attended a few events or services.

 

[ashjohnson80]

I know when people have invited me to stuff in the past almost all of the time it has been to get me "involved" in their church. That's kind of a big thing here. I actually leave on Monday nights or turn off the lights and hide because my aunt and uncle like to come to witness to me on Mondays. However, my friend who is episcopal has invited me to things and has never tried to get me to join her church or anything like that.

 

[mt2]

My neighbor has done the same thing. It was not to have us join but for us 'moms' to have a few hours of quiet during the summer.

I have seen both ways.

I think if you let your neighbors know that you aren't interested in joining their church but like to spend some fun time with them there should be no misunderstanding. I would be upfront though.

I did have a friend ask why I didn't invite her to several important functions at our church ( 1st communion for DD's and DS baptism). I told her that I knew that she didn't agree with our church and I didn't want to put her in an akward position of turning me down. I felt really bad when she told me that she would have loved to have been there because it was important to our family.

 

[JennaTX]

It might probably be a little of both. They might be inviting you to a fun family event, like you said, with maybe the hopes that you might continue to come to events at the church.

I would say try it, and if you get a "hard sell" like your DH thinks you might, then don't go again if you are not comfortable.

 

[Zippa D Doodah]

"Joining the church" doesn't mean a whole lot for my perspective (mainstream Protestant). There are literally hundreds of people on the membership roll of my church who haven't had anything to do with the congregation in years or decades. Why are they still on there ? Beats me, but my bishop says we should have more.

What I am really passionate about is people being a part of the church family. By that I mean experiencing what the church does through its many functions. We are always glad to see someone participate in one of our youth events, scrapbooking crops, or men's groups, but if you hang around here long enough someone is going to invite you to worship . I never thought of any of this as "luring". That word has a negative connotation that doesn't quite fit the work of the church.

When someone invites you to a function at church, its more analogous to a hungry person telling another hungry person where to find food. Ideally, churches are not out to "lure" anyone in and suck them dry like a spider working on a fly carcass. Rather than take, we only seek to give. Of course I can't speak for all churches, but this probably describes the vast majority.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

most any catholic church..nothing to worry about.

Other faiths--some would and some won't.

I would way the situation against the people inviting. They could be just inviting you to something you might enjoy.

 

[GEM]

When someone invites you to a function at church, its more analogous to a hungry person telling another hungry person where to find food.

I guess I just don't like people assuming that I'm hungry, so I always turn those invitations down politely.

 

[Zippa D Doodah]

I guess I just don't like people assuming that I'm hungry, so I always turn those invitations down politely.

And that is absolutely 100% your perogative. I support you in that decision.

 

[challada]

Sorry to say I would side with your hubby on this one. I would definitely question the motive here.

"Luring" may not be the word most folks want to hear about recruitment at their church, but I don't know a single church out there that is NOT looking for new folks. They may claim to be wanting to help others, but their "giving" is actually a means of getting YOU to give to them (in $$$). Building their membership builds their financials, bottom line.

And, yes, as a Catholic, I can tell you that the Catholic church is always looking for more members too and is not innocent in this type of recruitment.

 

[Zippa D Doodah]

"Luring" may not be the word most folks want to hear about recruitment at their church, but I don't know a single church out there that is NOT looking for new folks. They may claim to be wanting to help others, but their "giving" is actually a means of getting YOU to give to them (in $$$). Building their membership builds their financials, bottom line.

I humbly disagree. Although this is a popular view -and may be anecdotaly true -it goes in the "urban myth" category. Again, I struggle to speak for all churches, but I believe most seek to offer, not to take.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

And, yes, as a Catholic, I can tell you that the Catholic church is always looking for more members too and is not innocent in this type of recruitment.

What is your parish doing???

Ours invite people to join in a number of ways--but any event with that purpose is clearly identified as such. We are having a festival this weekend and I assure you it isn't a recruitment fest in the least.


And for events specific to that purpose at any church. I think it is borderline sinister to say--invite someone to a spaghetti dinner under the premise that it is free spaghetti--if the real name (or super secret wink-wink name) of the event is Evangelization Night or New member Night.

Inviting someone with false pretenses or failure to disclose--then yes that is luring and any church who does that....well, shouldn't lie to increase their flock.

If you are going to invite someone to a dinner---well then give them there pasta and unless they ask---just give them the pasta and fellowship for goodness sakes.

 

[FreshTressa]

I go with my friend to her church functions all the time.

DH won't go to church and she knows I'll never join, but she knows i enjoy it occassionally.

 

[pogopossum]

we have many types of functions at our church, some are for encouraging those that are looking for church home or looking to change churches to come to our church, others are for believers of all stripes to come and get encouragement or more knowledge about christianity or marriage conferences, etc. these are not to encourage them to join our church. our approach in inviting others is very low key, if you are seeking a church home we want you to come check us out, if you are involved somewhere else or not interested in church then we won't hound you.

 

[Pixiedust34]

During April, there are two events at my church that I invited friends to attend. One is an annual bingo, which is a lot of fun. I asked 5 friends to join me, and it's a Mom's Night Out for us. Another is an Easter Egg Hunt for kids. Our church does a great Easter Egg Hunt!

Some of my friends joined me for these activities last year, and a couple others are new friends coming along for the first time. We go to these activities for fun. There is no expectation whatsoever for my friends to join my church at all. Having our bingo night at church is no different than having us meet at Panera Bread for a chat session. It's a Mom's Night Out--nothing more. The annual bingo is an activity we all enjoy. Since the church's Easter Egg Hunt is one of the best around, several of my friends bring their kids to it every year. They come to me and ask me what day and time the Easter Egg Hunt will be, because their kids want to go. It's a fun morning for the kids, and there is no pressure at all from anyone for the guests to join the church or attend a service.

In turn, one of the moms who comes to my church's annual bingo in the spring has her church host an annual bingo in the fall. We all go to her church for that event. Again, there is no pressure to get involved in her church--it's just a fun night to get together.

I have seen churches that do "heavy recruitment," though there are some churches (like mine) who will host social events and encourage members to bring guests just for fun.

 

[Planogirl]

I personally don't see any harm in going. If the church tries a hard sell then just politely say "no, thank you" and go on about your business. These events may not be in any way meant for recruiting anyhow and could just be fun.

 

[Disney Doll]

I go to a Catholic Chruch in southwestern CT, and I can tell you without a doubt that a church function that is meant as a social function is just that...a social function.

There is no "recruitment" done at social functions. That isn't to say that some folks haven't gone to many church-sponsored social functions and decided that my church is a good place and they have joined, but we are not big on prolestylizing at my church.

Any time a function is intended to be more focused on religion than socialization, it is very clealry indicated, so that no one is surprised, feels like they have been "lured" or duped into attending something that was misleading.

Understand that I only speak for my church. Other Catholic parishes may be completely different.