If you are married, or have a significant other...

[ahutton]

How's this for irony? When I was what I would consider healthy (could consistently wear a size 8) I NEVER got asked on a date. I never had men pay attention to me. I really did not like myself. I felt unattractive, generally awful... Many sizes and several years later I am nowhere near a size 8. I have a DH who loves me, and is supportive of my desire to look like I did in some of the pictures he's seen. Sometimes he sabotages me and buys Krispy Kremes - sometimes he asks about what I am eating and I feel guilty - but he loves me - the person. I am not healthy right now, but I'm working on it and getting medical help. I don't always feel beautiful, but I have many more good days than I ever had before. That is something I never used to be able to say.

 

[Mskanga]

Well, I'm 5'11" tall and the heaviest I ever got was 224 lbs. I went down to 206 lbs just by watching what I ate and exercising a little bit more just a little over a year ago and dh had the nerve to say that loosing 16 lbs was only a drop in the bucket, so as you can see, there's no support there.
Lately and without trying I have lost another 8 lbs , I try to keep them off , I'm at 198 lbs right now and I feel fine. I'm used to not getting support for anything I do , today for a good example I e-mailed my dh a pic I took yesterday of DD's kindergarten class, you want to know what he did?? he e-mailed it to DD1 ( only 10 yrs old ) and told her that it was lame and that I needed to get a life.
I'm crushed, I do nothing else but sacrifice and this is what I get.
I'm glad for those of you who get the support I don't, maybe I should have known to pick a better husband.

 

[nativetxn]

Oh sweetie, it makes me feel sad to read this. {{{HUGS}}} to you, my friend.

 

[believe]

Mskanga you are a very strong person. Please know that we care about you and want to give you the support you need. Sorry that you aren't getting the support at home PM me any time! Know that you are truly cared about. {{{{HUGS}}}}

 

[KathyTX]

Originally posted by Mskanga
dh had the nerve to say that loosing 16 lbs was only a drop in the bucket, so as you can see, there's no support there.

You've done an AMAZING job with your weight, dropping 24 pounds. That's no drop in the bucket, and we all know that. Hooray for you!

he e-mailed it to DD1 ( only 10 yrs old ) and told her that it was lame and that I needed to get a life.

I'm so sorry, sweetie. It sounds like your husband has anger and self-esteem issues, and you're the nearest safe target to take pot-shots at.

It sounds like you're a great mom to your two DDs, and you seem to have a pretty good attitude toward yourself, despite the disappointing little swipes he takes at you. Good for you!

 

[Beanie]

Hugs Kanga!! You know that you can email or phone me anytime at all!!! You know DH and I just love ya and always enjoy talking to you!!

(((Hugs)))

 

[blanq]

Mskanga, I am sorry! I feel like a dolt! Here I am whining that I have a supportive husband and don't take his words at face value, and then I read your post. I hope that things get better for you at home, and that your hubbie does see the light for the true beauty I know you are!

Katholyn, I PROMISE! I can't bring myself to get my clipart yet; it's too much pressure for me right now (seems silly , I know).

Oh, all of you are sooo wonderful, and I have appreciated each response. Thanks!

Linda

 

[Mskanga]

Thanks everyone, it just happens that today I also found out that my mom is in worse shape than I thought she was. My cousin who is a doctor tells me that my mother has all signs of alzheimers and she's to the point now where she can't do anything as simple as cooking or dressing herself , she forgot how to do it. I knew she was in the first stages but I didn't think it was this bad yet.
Top it all off , my husband e-mailed that to my DD, that really did me in that she called me to show me the e-mail, she felt bad for me.
It isn't bad enough that he doesn't encourage me, but to put me down with my 10 yr old who is VERY mature for her age , was not the smart thing to do.
Your words and thoughts mean more to me that you will ever know, as some of you know, all my family live overseas, I have no family here.

 

[nativetxn]

Yes, you do have family here. You have <b>us</b>. We are your family. You come here and talk to us anytime you need to.

Are you taking the WISH challenge now? Will <i>you</i> use the clipart? It's too much pressure for blanq (I'm teasing, I'm teasing).

 

[SnackyStacky]

Hope you ladies don't mind if I join in this thread and throw in a few thoughts from the male perspective.

First of all, I almost CRIED reading all your posts. I know how hard it is to be overweight. At my heaviest, I was 352 pounds. I had a 54 inch waist, and wore a 3-4X t-shirt. I really know how difficult it is.

Having said that, it strikes me as very sad that almost all of you are know your weight at specific times! I know my heaviest weight, and current weight, but nothing in between.

I've been reading posts from a lot of you. I usually lurk, but I feel like I know a lot of you. True beauty is on the inside, and each and every one of you is a truly beautiful woman. Don't let your weight control your life. You HAVE to be happy with who you are whether you weigh 150 pounds or 550 pounds.

Having said that, my best girlfriend is trying to lose weight with me. She is having a very, very hard time with it. She's in law school, and most of her focus is on her schoolwork, rather than on what goes into her mouth. I tell her frequently that she really is beautiful the way she is, but like most of you, she just dismisses it. It's hurtful, but NOT for the reason that you might think. It hurts me more, that she is so hard on herself. Give your husbands/boyfriends the benefit of the doubt when they pay you a compliment. My Weight Watchers leader always says: "Say thank you, and shutup!" If I asked each of you to list 5 negative things about yourselves, you'd have that list done in under a minute. But if I asked you to write 5 positive things, you'd all struggle with it, because we all focus on the negative. From now on, when your significant other tells you're beautiful, FIGHT the urge to make a comment. Instead, say thank you, and shutup!!

Mskanga, if your husband thinks 24 pounds is just a "drop in the bucket", make him carry around two 10 pound bags of potatos, and 16 sticks of butter all day. Then ask him what he thinks about 24 pounds.

 

[KathyTX]

Dan, you're pretty smart for a guy.

We're glad you're here.

 

[nativetxn]

Aww, Dan. You're too young for me, aren't you. Oh wait--I'm happily married

You are a wonderful person and I appreciate you very much, Dan.

Now, stop that lurking right now!

 

[blanq]

Dan, I am so very glad you replied to this thread! What wisdom! So from now on, for me, it's "Thank you", and SHUT UP already!

 

[TigH]

DAN!!!! You are wonderful!!!! I love ya!!! You got me all misty eyed!!! Thanks for caring. xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

 

[disneyfan551]

Dan....thanks for delurking! You put a smile on my face on a dreary, depressing Monday! Thanks for your input, I wish you and your gf lots of success!

 

[Luv2Roam]

Blaine and I have been married .......... uh lets see ........ where's the calculator? 26.5 years. No kids. Just pets. And I think not having kids makes us close in our relationship. We get along pretty good, knowing we both have faults and we aren't changing at this point!
I weighed probably 135 when married. DH was probably a whole 115 pounds. I ALWAYS have been heavier than him, and sure I always will be.
He always use to say he couldn't stand me fat. Well, he has!
I know he is heavier than he wants to be. But at least he is a runner! And I'm not talking 1 - 2 mile runs. A short run for him is 8 - 10 miles.
Think he would be a bean pole, wouldn't you? No. Like many men he eats snacks and sweets like crazy.
I can pass on those. But I eat bad. I do eat better now than I use to. But I only recently changed. (I use to LIVE on starches.)
In November I was told I am pre-diabetic. If that didn't scare me, nothing would.
Then I went to hardly any carbs and that was a little too much the other way, as the doc also has me on Actos.
But I need to eat healthier, get off my All Star Sports and do something and get back to what I feel comfortable with.
So, where do I start?

 

[nativetxn]

Grab your clipart. There is a great post by Wovenwonder telling you how to do that right <b>HERE</b>

You could sign in on the DIS WISH challenge, too that thread is right <b>HERE</b>

My husband controls his blood sugars eating the Atkins way, too late to save him from diabetes but it sure is helping him feel better and be healthier now

I'm glad to see you here on WISH

Katholyn

 

[TCKK]

I think I must be married to the world's most wonderful man. We've been married 14 years and he never complains about my weight. In fact he's always telling me I'm sexy. Even though I can't always understand how he feels this way, I never doubt the fact that he does!

He's fine with me when I'm heavy and he's very supportive of me when I'm dieting. He never says anything if he sees me cheating.

He just loves me no matter what.

Wow!! I think I better go tell him how much I love him and how wonderful he is before someone tries to take him away from me!!

 

[disneyfan551]

tckk...that is a good idea to tell him you love him! don't ever take it for granted, because things can change within an instant. i'm glad you are one of the lucky ones...

 

[TCKK]

Thanks Disneyfan and you're right I am one of the lucky ones. And this thread reminded me of how blessed I am. You're right, things can change quickly so I did go and tell him, in fact, I showed him the post so he'd know how proud I am of him. I think he was really pleased.