If I hear "You're having a THIRD? Are you CRAZY??" again I am gonna SCREAM!!

[Princessbaby]

I am currently full term with #4 and going in tomorrow for induction. I have gotten many comments but have found it easiest to just laugh when they mention how crazy it is... I tell them with a smile and a chuckle that they are probably right! Even if they meant it in kind of a rude way this turns it around and we all are happy.

Just an idea...because the comments are not going to stop and this helps you keep your stress down. For what it's worth...I found adding number three to be a breeze. It was much harder going from one to two for me. Best of Luck...I ADORE my large family (but this is it, really, I'm stopping at four!)

Good Luck with your induction! Hope all goes well!!

 

[mama4]

This is a great post! DH and I are expecting our 4th child on July 4th. Most of our family and friends were thrilled although since we have 3 boys I do hear a lot of "trying for a girl huh?". I try to let it roll off my back as well. We are a very happy healthy family. I'm a SAHM so I'm with DS-3 and DS-2 all day. DS-14 gets home from school at 3:30. All three kids have added so much to our family. Boy or girl, I know the 4th will be a wonderful blessing as well. If people's comments are meant to express their shock, annoyance or whatever (unless the comment is glaringly rude) I never even let them know that I notice- because I DON"T CARE what they think. We visited my in laws in Ft Lauderdale over the weekend and my husbands 87 yo grandmother (amazing woman) blurted out in a loud but joking tone ( Am I EVER gonna see you with a FLAT stomach again!!) I didn't blink an eye. I just smiled and said "After four kids?! I seriously doubt it!" My Dear MIL and DH seemed upset at what Grandma had said but after I let it roll of my back, the tension evaporated for everyone. Congrats on all you large familes and soon to be larger families out there! BTW, my sis has 4 kids as well so we look like a daycare center out for a field trip when we take our kids (to Disney) together!

 

[Becky2005]

Our children are exactly the same years apart. Our 3rd was a huge surprise.

My DS3's preschool teacher said at his conference that she can certainly tell he has older siblings. He will "not" play with preschool toys. He loves Stars Wars, G.I. Joes and Jurassic Park dinosaurs. (Hand me downs from brother)

Lori

I just had to at that comment - I often think about that for baby #4, poor kid just doesn't stand a chance with watching preschool shows - I try but having older siblings he gets to watch the older stuff too. I noticed it slightly with #3 but since his older brother was only 3 when he was born it wasn't too bad but forget about it for #4 - He does get some preschool stuff in there but he is content to play with the big kids stuff. I can only imagine when he gets ready to go off to preschool add onto that he will be an older kid in the school. YIKES. At least he loves Mickey Mouse (he could say "Mickey" before he said "momma/mommy" - hmmm..... Of course now he just calls Mickey "Mouse" - He sees Cinderella's Castle and says "Mouse" ).

 

[Grammyof2]

Congratulations!!!!!

We have 4. My baby just turned 23 He was a surpirse. I was 6 months when we found out he was coming. You would have thought I would have had a hint, but NOPE.

Every child is a blessing, and I am sure he or she will fill your life with joy.

I didn't read the whole thread, just wanted to congratulate you and wish you the best.

 

[Carrie Ellis]

Oh! I know how you feel!!! I have 2 sets of twins. They are 9 and 5 years old. I am trying to squash the urge to try again. I do want more children! The reason I would choose not to would be probably from what others would think of me/us. All of our parents would think that we have lost our mind and I believe my mom would be just down right mad. Sad to make a life decision based on others views..huh!

Comments that I get:

Gee you have your hands full.

I am glad it is you and not me.

The Boy/Girl...Are they identical?

I bet you are done.

etc....

 

[dznygurl]

We got the SAME responses when we were expecting #3.

...WHY???

...ARE YOU CRAZY???

...YOU ALREADY HAVE A BOY AND A GIRL!!!

Towards the end of my last pregnancy, I was at my DD dance recital. I was so proud of my rather large tummy and was minding my own business just standing there waiting for my daughter. A woman whom I hadn't seen in a couple of years walked up to me, smiled, pointed at my tummy, and said "That's really stupid. Don't you have 2 already?" I was stunned and couldn't speak. My hormones had me crying for a while when I left. But now I wish I would have told her something! I don't think I will EVER forget that one!!!

But we wouldn't change a thing. We love having three. Of course, they do outnumber us on occasion. I would have 3 more if DH would let me!

Enjoy your pregnancy and don't let anyone get to you!

 

[OceanAnnie]

Wow, dznygurl. That was a doozy. That was just so hurtful and out of the blue. I think I'd be reeling on that one too.

Some of the comments I've read on this thread are so outrageous!

 

[Mom of Sleepy Bashful and BabyDoc]

Oh! I know how you feel!!! I have 2 sets of twins. They are 9 and 5 years old. I am trying to squash the urge to try again. I do want more children! The reason I would choose not to would be probably from what others would think of me/us. All of our parents would think that we have lost our mind and I believe my mom would be just down right mad. Sad to make a life decision based on others views..huh!

Comments that I get:

Gee you have your hands full.

I am glad it is you and not me.

The Boy/Girl...Are they identical?

I bet you are done.

etc....

Oh, I say, GO FOR IT!! If that is what you and your DH want. Don't give a HOOT to what people say!! It's not up to them.

I have a friend with 5 children, one with 7, one with 8.....and I am not kidding you...........they are the NICEST KIDS! Not perfect, but so well behaved and kind, taking care of their little siblings.....it's great to see.

I wish I could have more, but I guess God decided three was good. I've lost three to miscarriages, so I did try to have more! And now, DS is 6 and I can't imagine going back to diapers again.(Plus, we started late because DH was in law school. He's 45 and I'm 41) Our family has just started to gain some "independence" if you know what I mean. We are enjoying this part of life even though I want DS to revert back to a baby when I see his baby pictures! (So cuddly!! )

Don't let anyone outside of you and your DH make the decision for you. YOu will regret it because you weren't true to what your heart really wanted.

 

[Mom of Sleepy Bashful and BabyDoc]

We got the SAME responses when we were expecting #3.

...WHY???

...ARE YOU CRAZY???

...YOU ALREADY HAVE A BOY AND A GIRL!!!

Towards the end of my last pregnancy, I was at my DD dance recital. I was so proud of my rather large tummy and was minding my own business just standing there waiting for my daughter. A woman whom I hadn't seen in a couple of years walked up to me, smiled, pointed at my tummy, and said "That's really stupid. Don't you have 2 already?" I was stunned and couldn't speak. My hormones had me crying for a while when I left. But now I wish I would have told her something! I don't think I will EVER forget that one!!!

That is INCREDIBLE! The NERVE!!

Well, I would have said, "yes, but I thought the world needed more POLITE PEOPLE in it!!" Ha!

Whatever.

 

[WDWfor5]

This is such a great thread. We have 3 - DD 6 1/2, DS 4 1/4 and DS 2 1/2 - people act like we're crazy. From my best friend saying she was "sorry" when I told her I was expecting my youngest DS to the crazy woman at my DD's preschool who kep saying how sorry she felt for me whith 3 kids 4 and under.

Having three so close together was tough for a little while and is still hectic but i wouldn't change it for the world. My DS 4 and DS 2 are the best of friends and we love our little family 9it doesn't seem big to DH or I as we are both 1 of 3)

The most annoying comment I've heard lately was my DMIL (who I love dearly and is usually normal) who when I commented last night that if I wasn't so high risk I would love to have a 4th actually said "well, you'd have to check with the babysitter's on that one Then my DFIL say's something similar and I wanted to smack them - are DH & I supposed to consult them before deciding to have a child? I can imagine that would be an awkward ocnversation

Anyway, good luck to the OP and don't expect the comments to go away - I personally hate being told I have my hands full but I hear it everytime I take them out. I've learned to laugh it off most of the time and when it gets really annoying I vent to friends with 3 or more children.

 

[Lil' Grumpy]

. i believe those that must put others down to feel better about
themselves. everyone knows the lord works in mysterious ways. well i believe
this is one of his best. this happened to us long after we decided no more...
won't go in the details except to offer support, by my wife sense of humor.
we had a spiff and she informed me that she was taking the 3 of them and
leaving. i said wait a minute..leave the dog here. she replied you don't get
it! i did then. we had 2 boys and debated for trying for an elusive girl. in the
end we decided no way because of many factors. that was 5 years prior.
both of my parents have been long gone and my mother was a flaming red
haired. my wife has coal black hair. we feel so blessed when our daughter
came into our lives. [well maybe our second son wasn't to thrill giving up
the "baby" position he held for over 10 years-but who could blame him?] and though her name isn't ariel, she is a prefext match. she is more "like" me and even "plays" like i used to. anyway good luck and congrats on your real . p.s.our boys decorated the whole house -inside & out when we
brought her home. and at that year christmas party alot of the family wasn't
even aware...but when they saw her they knew we were blessed. and funny, without her, we wouldn't made all dcl cruises. you should be on and . after all, isn't this what life about?

 

[Mom of Sleepy Bashful and BabyDoc]

Oh, Lil Grumpy........this is just too priceless!! I'm LOVIN' it!! We really get put in our places sometimes, don't we??

Something like that happened to my SIL and BIL. They had three boys (all dark hair) and they "were done". Then, what do you know......she got pregnant (DEFINATELY NOT planned). You got it! Blonde haired, blue eyed beauty of a girl..........they just think it was God's little joke on them......what a blessing she is to our family.

 

[nliedel]

Oh! I know how you feel!!! I have 2 sets of twins. They are 9 and 5 years old. I am trying to squash the urge to try again. I do want more children! The reason I would choose not to would be probably from what others would think of me/us. All of our parents would think that we have lost our mind and I believe my mom would be just down right mad. Sad to make a life decision based on others views..huh!

....

Yes it is and you should NOT let the world bully you like that! There are plenty of people who do not want children (and they should be lectured no more than I should be about my four, thank you very much. Not everyone is cut out for this job) so you will not be "burdening the universe". If you would like to have another then please don't let anyone talk you out of it (well as long as your other half agrees ) it's not the woman in the Target checkout lines decision! It's yours! Anyone who has four and wants more is probably a pretty good mother. Being a good Mom is something that takes a lot of work and dedication. If you want it and are good at it (note I did not say perfect, no one is) then please make this descision for yourself. Of course finances are a consideration but as another poster said, if you wait till you can afford them.. Well I would be way past menopause myself.

 

[welovedis]

The point of this thread was not to make comments on people abilties to have kids (or not have kids or in your case more kids) but that people often look at families today with more then the average 2 children as well odd, when truth be told they are often GREAT families that work well together as unit, helping each other and kids learning responibilites. (no of course we can't say this is the case with all larger familes, just like it isn't with all very small families.) As many of the people here with more then 2 kids have pointed out many of them did not come to be part of their family by biologcal conentions, so the ability to have more really isn't the point.

Yes, I do understand the point of the thread and cannot believe the comments that people make sometimes, ITA about that.

I just found the original comment of the fact that the world would be better off with more families of 3 or more kids to be sort of odd in a different way. I happen to be a proud mom of an only child who thinks he is a great kid (of course) and that together we are a positive family unit. That would be the same even if my family was just me & DH as a couple or us with 3-4 kids (as we originally hoped for). Guess that was the point I was trying to make about what you posted.

Talk about timing--my neighbor from around the block just told me she was pregnant with #2 & #3 twins, her DS is in my son's 3rd grade class & I said "THAT"S FANTASTIC!" about a million times to her when I found out. She said everyone else said things like "Are you out of your mind?" "Why did you wait so long?" "Are you sure that you aren't too old? (she's 31!)". I told her about this thread & sent her the link this morning. Unbelieveable what people will say!

 

[Mom of Sleepy Bashful and BabyDoc]

Yes, I do understand the point of the thread and cannot believe the comments that people make sometimes, ITA about that.

I just found the original comment of the fact that the world would be better off with more families of 3 or more kids to be sort of odd in a different way. I happen to be a proud mom of an only child who thinks he is a great kid (of course) and that together we are a positive family unit. That would be the same even if my family was just me & DH as a couple or us with 3-4 kids (as we originally hoped for). Guess that was the point I was trying to make about what you posted.

Talk about timing--my neighbor from around the block just told me she was pregnant with #2 & #3 twins, her DS is in my son's 3rd grade class & I said "THAT"S FANTASTIC!" about a million times to her when I found out. She said everyone else said things like "Are you out of your mind?" "Why did you wait so long?" "Are you sure that you aren't too old? (she's 31!)". I told her about this thread & sent her the link this morning. Unbelieveable what people will say!

Tell your neighbor I'm JEALOUS!! Since I AM a twin, I prayed for twins with each pregnancy.....no go. Oh, well,...........

 

[welovedis]

Tell your neighbor I'm JEALOUS!! Since I AM a twin, I prayed for twins with each pregnancy.....no go. Oh, well,...........

Pamela-LOL! I will tell her that! She is so excited.....I'm thrilled for her and her family. Her & her DH got married young when they found they were expecting their DS, and many family members (on both sides) turned against them and felt they were making a mistake. They have a really great DS and they are a wonderful couple, I'm so glad to have them as friends. Her DH returned home last fall from a tour of duty in Iraq and this is just the best news for them. Can you tell I'm happy for them? LOL!

 

[Mom of Sleepy Bashful and BabyDoc]

Pamela-LOL! I will tell her that! She is so excited.....I'm thrilled for her and her family. Her & her DH got married young when they found they were expecting their DS, and many family members (on both sides) turned against them and felt they were making a mistake. They have a really great DS and they are a wonderful couple, I'm so glad to have them as friends. Her DH returned home last fall from a tour of duty in Iraq and this is just the best news for them. Can you tell I'm happy for them? LOL!

Hey, I just noticed you're from Rochester. Howdie, neighbor! (I'm in Corning).

They're a military family?? Oh, now I'm REALLY glad they got twice blessed! That's neat.

And I'm so glad to hear that after a rough start (with family), that this couple has made it work. That is fantastic! (what's wrong with families sometimes..........just when a girl needs them, they turn on her......don't get it)

 

[amytx5]

But for me..my last pregnancy did me in (twins) ,,..
Children are a blessing...and a gift .. Congrats ~
Amy ..Mommy to ds15, dd13, ds9, ds6, ds6

 

[DisneyPhD]

Yes, I do understand the point of the thread and cannot believe the comments that people make sometimes, ITA about that.

I just found the original comment of the fact that the world would be better off with more families of 3 or more kids to be sort of odd in a different way. I happen to be a proud mom of an only child who thinks he is a great kid (of course) and that together we are a positive family unit. That would be the same even if my family was just me & DH as a couple or us with 3-4 kids (as we originally hoped for). Guess that was the point I was trying to make about what you posted.

O.K. I will try to explain that comment more. I guess it just goes to show that no matter what you say, someone somewhere is going to get offended.

Comments like "we only had 2 because we want to give them the best of everything..............." and things like that really bug me. Because $$$ is not the best of everything, even attention is not the best of everything. Teaching your children values, respect, self esteem (in a postitive way, not just being snotty!) cooperation, learning to share, care for others etc....... This is all more important then "the best things in money can buy." If family was the important factor, not oh my kids might have to share a room, we might only be able to take 1 vacation a year instead of 2 ect.... that would be better for kids and families in general. You know the whole with 2 kids we can aforrd to stay at a deluxe resort, with 3 we are going to have to stay in 2 value rooms, agruement (my DH has come up with that one, when it comes down to it, that is a small price to pay for another member of your family.)

In cases like yours where (for whatever reason) your life and family is compelete the way it currenlty is, that is just fine. I am sure you have a lovely child who you should be proud of and are a wonderful parent. I am sorry your dream of having more hasn't happened. Please don't take offence so easily.

My point is perfect family and american dream isn't just 4 people, a mom, dad, 2 kids (boy and a girl) It comes in all shapes and sizes, sometimes as small as 2 people, and as big as 12! If there wasn't this mind set and everything set up for a "family of 4" I think that things would be better. Also all the spoild rotten kids today (and everyone has seen them) it is much harder to spoil a child in a large family, they just don't get that kind of indulgance. Yes, it is possible not to spoil a single child, or 2, but it becomes less of an issue the more kids you have.

I am currenlty guilty of the "family of 4 syndrome" We may or may not ever have more, DH and I are not currenlty a place where we can say "we are done" or let's try for another. But coming from a family of 6 I say large familes are specail in ways that people who say "more then 1 or 2 kids are just too much work" (or things along those lines) will never understand.

 

[vhoffman]

Congratulations on Number 3! If I could have more, I certainly would.

There are all sorts of rude people out there and there seems to be a mindset that you can say anything you want to people. Don't stand there and take it! Next time someone says something rude about your pregnancy (or anything, for that matter), just look at them and say "That's certainly a rude remark". Let them figure out how to take their foot out of their mouth, not you. They're the one who put it there! You're under no obligation to be polite to someone who's blantantly rude to you. Or, as my mother used to say, "..........sometimes you have to fight ignornance with ignornance".