What you are describing has nothing to do with fighting for things that your child needs in the classroom. You are talking about how a teacher might handle a disruption in the classroom. ANd what you have said is the crux of the problem in American education. All children are guaranteed the right to an education. Well, where should the ADD kid or the kid with sensory issues go? A special school? The whole reason that IEP's exist is to deal with the issues, medical and emotional, that kids with disabilities have. Most parents do not have to worry about their child being able to communicate in class, have an appropriate workspace, etc. If you don't expect the school to meet his needs, how are his needs met? Is he in a regular classroom with no IEP?
I agree with you that this is the crux of the problem in American education. I agree wholeheartedly!
Where we disagree is how we go about fixing this.
I believe my son is entitled to the SAME education as my daughter. I do not believe that my son is ENTITLED to a DIFFERENT education than my daughter. I believe he deserves the best but I do not believe it is the schools responsibility to dumb down my DD's education because my son takes longer to complete an assignment or read a book.
If my son had very simple problems like requiring a laptop for writing (which is something he requires but it is not his only issue) I believe it is my responsibility to provide that. I do not want my DD to have to forgo a field trip because the school can't afford buses because they had to fund a laptop for my son. I don't want the science lab to have to cut back on equipment and I don't want art or music cut because my son would require a full time aide. And yes, in the long run, I believe all of the funding is coming from the same place. If a school didn't have any need for special education, I firmly believe that funding would go back into the school system for other things.
I know things have changed since I went to school because now there is a feeling that everyone needs to be integrated into a regular classroom. I do not agree with this. When my son was younger, he would have absolutely been put in a regular classroom and it would not have been remotely fair to the other kids. It will never be okay in my world to dumb down education so a few can keep up.
You ask where these kids should go. Yes, I think a special school or classrooms that cater to these kids is perfectly acceptable. They are welcome to move up into the regular classroom when they can handle the normal workload. Again, I am not talking about the kid that needs one simple fix to function in the regular classroom. I am talking about the child that has a multitude of issues and requires far more time and attention from the teacher and slows down the rest of the class. This won't fix the funding aspect of it but it will give the kids without disabilities a chance to learn on or above grade level.
And no, I do not think there is one simple solution to this. It is a mess without an easy fix.
How did I met the needs of my son? Very simple. I homeschool him. I am not burdening the school system nor do I need to argue with them on a daily basis. I honestly don't know how parents do that day in and day out. As with the OP'er, I think many just give up and the kid falls through the cracks.
If I wanted to put my son back into the system, he could now easily integrate into a regular classroom without any disruption. He is my son and I feel it was/is my responsibility to get him up to grade level. That meant doing whatever was necessary with regard to therapy and special classes; none of which cost the school system a dime. I never would have sent my DD to kindergarten without knowing the basics so why would I send my son to school if he couldn't perform at grade level?
These are not throw away kids. My son is incredibly smart; much more than my DD. However, his needs did not fit in with the way the schools teach. To met his needs in public school would take away from other students. That seems very selfish to me. YMMV.
Wow! This was long. Sorry about that.