Ideas for able-bodied twin of disabled son (sorry, long)

[twinmum]

That subject line makes this sound too complicated! We are taking our twin boys to WDW in November - first visit, they will just have turned 8. One son has CP, will be in his w/c; his twin bro is able-bodied. Son with CP is bright and verbal. People go out of their way to be kind to our son with CP - he always attracts the attention, while his twin is often ignored, as he is "normal." Well, to him, his brother is "normal", so why all the fuss?!? Sure, he realizes that we do get some benefits at times (using exits and straight on rides at our local amusement park, great seating at the Santa Claus parade (where he was invisible to all clowns etc while his bro and another friend in a w/c were showered with attention), we do see him get hurt when he is ignored completely. He knows his brother's life is tough and gives him lots of support, but sometimes he just wants to be special in his own way.

Does anyone have any ideas on ways to make our trip special for our able-bodied son? We want out trip to be magical for BOTH our boys - born at 26 weeks, they have BOTH come a long way!!!

 

[LindsayDunn228]

You cannot control how people treat your non-disabled son, you can only control how YOU treat him. Make sure he is included just as much as your other son. I was disabled as a child and would have been embarrassed if people had given me special attention.

 

[Nanajo1]

Maybe having special time for each boy alone. So your able bodied son doesn't have to compete with his brother. Maybe he could do the pirate adventure while his brother does something else equally as fun but different.
Maybe your son who gets the attention could say something like "don't forget my brother" to the characters.
Pixie dust for a great trip.

 

[binkyboots]

maybe you could make them customised t shirts... "partners in crime" or something pointing to their special relationship as twins

maybe you could take the family magic tour, that would be fun for both boys I think

 

[LindaDVC]

I have a friend who took a make a wish trip. The "normal" sibling years later mentioned how she didn't get any attention from the characteurs and felt left out of the trip. Even though she understood -- still was hurt when she was a child. SO I think it is great that you are trying to think of ways to include both kids-- including pictures of the kids together and alone etc.

As the years go by the twin with a disability will have things he can't do whether it be a ride at WDW, or a sport, or a girl that hurts his feelings! So if he gets some extra attention at WDW now -- he will get some times in the future that life may not be as wonderful.

I hope the whole family has a magical trip filled with special moments!

Linda

 

[DisneyMama2H&O]

We're sending our DS5 on the Pirate Cruise at the Grand Floridian.

 

[eternaldisneyfan]

In the wheelchair parade viewing area, have the able-bodied son sit in front & to the side of the twin with CP. Characters give the most attention to kids in the front. At MGM at the Indiana Jones Epic Stunt Spectacular ask to sit up front. After the show, Indiana comes out to sign autographs and take pictures. Buy both boys pin trading kits. Pin trading is a lot of fun! I like the t-shirt idea. You can't control other people's actions. Sometimes in families with several kids, only one of the children gets the magical moment. Personally, I like that Disney is sure to recognize people with disabilities because often in the real world people with disabilities are overlooked, ignored, or shunned...

I hope both your boys have a magical trip!
Christamae

 

[roseprincess]

I have a friend who took a make a wish trip. The "normal" sibling years later mentioned how she didn't get any attention from the characteurs and felt left out of the trip. Even though she understood -- still was hurt when she was a child. SO I think it is great that you are trying to think of ways to include both kids-- including pictures of the kids together and alone etc.

As the years go by the twin with a disability will have things he can't do whether it be a ride at WDW, or a sport, or a girl that hurts his feelings! So if he gets some extra attention at WDW now -- he will get some times in the future that life may not be as wonderful.

I hope the whole family has a magical trip filled with special moments!

Linda

That's sad the other sibling didn't get much attention on the MAW trip . I have special needs twins. When we went for dd's MAW trip 2 yrs ago, my ds (who is PDD-NOS), got about as much attention as my dd did.
Tho both my dd and ds have hidden disabilities(my dd had a complex congenital heart defect), we all wore our MAW pins at all times. So when we were in hte parks, people had no clue which child was there on the MAW trip, unless they asked. When we ate at Chef Mickey's for our character meal, the characters treated dd and ds equally. I don't know if hte characters knew which child was granted the MAW trip .


Rosemarie

 

[roseprincess]

That subject line makes this sound too complicated! We are taking our twin boys to WDW in November - first visit, they will just have turned 8. One son has CP, will be in his w/c; his twin bro is able-bodied. Son with CP is bright and verbal. People go out of their way to be kind to our son with CP - he always attracts the attention, while his twin is often ignored, as he is "normal." Well, to him, his brother is "normal", so why all the fuss?!? Sure, he realizes that we do get some benefits at times (using exits and straight on rides at our local amusement park, great seating at the Santa Claus parade (where he was invisible to all clowns etc while his bro and another friend in a w/c were showered with attention), we do see him get hurt when he is ignored completely. He knows his brother's life is tough and gives him lots of support, but sometimes he just wants to be special in his own way.

Does anyone have any ideas on ways to make our trip special for our able-bodied son? We want out trip to be magical for BOTH our boys - born at 26 weeks, they have BOTH come a long way!!!

The characters at Disneyworld will not ignore your "normal" son.
At WDW, everyone is treated special! You can buy autograph books and pens for both your boys, so when they do the" meet and greet" with hte characters, they can have their individual autographs with the characters signing both books! You can take individual pictures of each son with a character(if time permits, if there isn't a really long line).
Also for your "normal" son, have him pick a ride himself and maybe you and him or him and your dh can go on the ride, just the two of you.
Have a great trip!!


Rosemarie

 

[scottsod]

we had this for our cp son but it would work with the non ours is a baby so we didnt do it

get a main street barber shop hait cut and color with pixi dust it washes out

it attracts alot of attention from disney cm and just people

so when your cp son gets some attetntion the other will get a wow what a nice hair cut!!!

scott

 

[canwegosoon]

I am the mom of 8 yo twin boys...and I will tell you that they love to be split up from time to time and have individual attention paid to them. One loves Stitch, and one loves Buzz. Some time DH and I will split up and do different things with the boys...I might take one for Hotdogs at Caseys and he'll have a turkey leg with the other. Then we meet back up. You could get on different character lines near town hall, and still be near each other.

I would even go so far as to say maybe you could schedule a Pirate adventure for one and pool time for the other and then the next day flip it. You could take seperate carriage rides...etc.

Oh!!! this is my boy's favorite...every other trip they take turns picking an oyster for me.(It all started because one didn't want to do it...then when he saw how much fun it was he started to cry...and I told him, he could have a turn, but it would have to be on our next trip)..Now they love it ,,,they get excited when we go to Japan...Mom this is my trip to pick!!! The young ladies really make it into a big production ...they ring the gong, show the pearl, clean the pearl, measure the pearl, and present you with it. If you want you could do it on 2 different days...instead of 2 different trips.

My thinking is that a little special one on one time would go a long way. You do not have to stand next to each other for parades, but you could stand with in 10 feet of each other. I know my boys love it, and I do have one with several medical difficulties that are not apparent, and the other one is perfectly healthy. I'm not saying have 2 seperate vacations, just have 2-3 activities that is their own I think would help.

Hoping you all have a great trip.

 

[mommyandmore]

I teach special ed and lots of parents have this kind of difficulty- especially with multiples. I would definitely try the other suggestions you have gotten but I would also sit down with your son who is able-bodied and have an honest talk with him. Just help him brainstorm a little bit about things his brother has trouble with and things he is not able to do or won't be able to do in the future. Then explain that the people at Disneyworld know all of this and they like to do special things for people with disabilities because they know how hard other things can be for them. Honestly, kids understand a lot more then we give them credit for somtimes. When I go in to talk to the regular ed classes that have special ed kids included, I am always amazed by how fair and understanding they are. You might want to talk to your son with cp as well and let him know that characters will want to hang out with him because of his cool wheelchair (or however you want to explain it to him) and how his brother might feel left out. Let him come up with some ways to include his brother.
Oh, somewhere on this site I saw a list of things to say to the characters to get them to react with you. Like telling Cruella Deville that you see a puppy or calling Chip and Dale squirrels. Maybe you could prepare help your able-bodied son think of some fun he could have with the characters that way.
Have a great time!

 

[LindaDVC]

Neighbors have 8 kids! One day one of them mentioned that it was their birthday soon so they got a day off of school!

I was surprised and asked why they didn't go to school on their birthday.

They explained that birthdays were treated special and they spent the day with mom. They could decide what activity to do, where to eat lunch, and what they wanted to do all day! I realized with that many kids they didn't get to do this much and was a nice treat!

Linda

 

[mommie2angels]

I agree with Rosemarie. I would be very surprised if you able body child is treated differently by the CMs and/or characters. We have two dds in wheelchairs and one 4 year old. They are all treated equal at WDW. It's wonderful!!! We have had times when we are seeing characters and because of the impaired vision of the characters our 4 year old will not be seen if they walk up to our daughters in their wheelchairs. Another character or a CM will come along and spend time with our 4 year so she doesn't feel left out. They always seem so aware of all that.

I hope that your trip will be wonderful for all of you!!!

 

[twinmum]

Thank you everyone for your ideas on making our vacation special for everyone! I do think that now that the boys are turning 8, they understand more the ways they are the same and the ways they are different.

It was pretty difficult to find an adequate response at age 3..."why does M (disabled son) always get to use the wheelchair???"

Looking forward to our trip!!!

 

[Jimmae05]

maybe if a friend is coming with you, they could take him on a few rides, like roller-coasters (if he likes them), and other rides like that.

 

[eeyorelori]

I have twin boy/girl .My ds has cp and is in a wheel chair ..My dd was dressed in a swowwhite out fit so she got equal attention since she was dressed up ...It is hard when you see the character b/c they do go to the wheel chair kids quicker or they just go at them differently ...My dd had a autograph book he had a hat which they thought they were different but neat for each ..Thats what they picked to do them self ..ds was a basket case with santa and easter bunny so we didnt even no how hed react with the caracters .. But he liked the hat idea and was sooooooooooooo happy and not scared at all ..Both will be trated well since they are together mine were even when she diidnt have on the dress ..good luck

 

[Pea-n-Me]

Just wanted to wish you a magical trip from another Mom of 8yo twins!