I witnessed something very disturbing today (long)

[A-Nony-Mouse]

C'mon, everyone know that DISers have the highest ratio of brilliant and gifted children than any other segment of the population!!

And they aren't afraid to let you know about it........

 

[Freyja]

Why didn't you address my point? Most professions have some sort of training. Are they trying to treat everyone like dogs?

Are you trying to pick a fight with that poster?

 

[bluefairy13]

Dropping back in for a moment...

All this talk about diapers, daycare, preschool, etc.... Well, IMHO, this all just reinforces my view that I posted earlier, when I posted that I thought that to many people who think that two year olds are / should be capable of sitting still and being quiet etc... .

Oh lordy I can't believe I am still trying to explain myself, but if you are talking to me...

No way did I say that 2 year olds should be capable of sitting still, all the time anyway. I believe that they are capable of beginning to learn at that age, is all I'm saying. It is the age that you can start teaching them, and expect that they will listen and try. Will they succeed all the time? NO. But I disagree with people who say that your average 2 year old is not capable of understanding, or trying.

Here's the question. So you are somewhere with your 2 year old that is not such a good place, for whatever reason, to explore. What do you do? Surely you aren't saying that you just let them, because they couldn't possibly be expected to even try? Surely you aren't saying that.

I am just kind of befuddled as to why you think that we are so far apart. If we were somewhere, because of it being dangerous or dirty or crowded with strangers that I wanted dd to sit with me and not run around, I began training her, yes training her, to try to sit with me. It wasn't always easy, but that was when she began to learn.I didn't exactly beat her if she tried to run around, I just worked with her.

 

[babieemelly]

Here's the question. So you are somewhere with your 2 year old that is not such a good place, for whatever reason, to explore. What do you do? Surely you aren't saying that you just let them, because they couldn't possibly be expected to even try? Surely you aren't saying that.

Of course not, you're completely right. Sometimes (a lot of times actually) you go somewhere where a child can't run around and explore and get their energy out. That's when you bring books or small toys to keep them occupied. And if for some reason you couldn't bring anything, you let them play with the handle on your purse or keep them entertained yourself - talk to them, play hand games, quietly sing songs, etc. There are lots of ways for a child to "explore" and be engaged without running around and wreaking havoc. A two-year-old child, or any child under ten for that matter, should never be told to just sit down and shut up. It's the PARENT'S responsibility to keep a child from getting bored in an adult-oriented environment. Of course it gets easier as children get older... a ten-year old could bring a book, magazine, mp3 player, DVD player or hand-held video game and keep themselves busy. A two-year-old can't do that, which is why it's up to YOU (not you directly, bluefairy) to bring something for them to do.

 

[jenimay]

Of course not, you're completely right. Sometimes (a lot of times actually) you go somewhere where a child can't run around and explore and get their energy out. That's when you bring books or small toys to keep them occupied. And if for some reason you couldn't bring anything, you let them play with the handle on your purse or keep them entertained yourself - talk to them, play hand games, quietly sing songs, etc. There are lots of ways for a child to "explore" and be engaged without running around and wreaking havoc. A two-year-old child, or any child under ten for that matter, should never be told to just sit down and shut up. It's the PARENT'S responsibility to keep a child from getting bored in an adult-oriented environment. Of course it gets easier as children get older... a ten-year old could bring a book, magazine, mp3 player, DVD player or hand-held video game and keep themselves busy. A two-year-old can't do that, which is why it's up to YOU (not you directly, bluefairy) to bring something for them to do.

I agree, my bet is this child in the OP was never taught how to self entertain, she was just expected. Parents that want good behavior have to model it and help the child until they are engrained. Expecting a 2 year old to sit for a few minutes without some sort of stimulation is one thing, but beyond that is unrealistic for most kids. My bet is that these parents just react to the child's bad behavior with more bad behavior, in which the child will never really learn.

 

[crazymomof4]

C'mon, everyone know that DISers have the highest ratio of brilliant and gifted children than any other segment of the population!!

And they aren't afraid to let you know about it........

Wow! You've only been around since 8/07 and you've picked up on that already........are we that obvious? Well, it's true! It's the "D" factor- passed down by Disney-crazy parents to their offspring. Breeding is everything!

 

[babieemelly]

I agree, my bet is this child in the OP was never taught how to self entertain, she was just expected. Parents that want good behavior have to model it and help the child until they are engrained. Expecting a 2 year old to sit for a few minutes without some sort of stimulation is one thing, but beyond that is unrealistic for most kids. My bet is that these parents just react to the child's bad behavior with more bad behavior, in which the child will never really learn.

Exactly, and that's the big difference here. It's not about people "training" or teaching their kids to just sit down and be quiet, as other posters have suggested. That's the absolute wrong thing to do. It's about teaching kids how to keep themselves busy and have fun when in situations when they can't run around and go crazy. And that starts with the parents. Is it really that hard to throw a few toys in your bag to keep your child busy during long appointments/meetings, etc? Giving them something to do will keep them active and engaged, and show them that it's possible to "explore" in a different way.

 

[bluefairy13]

Of course not, you're completely right. Sometimes (a lot of times actually) you go somewhere where a child can't run around and explore and get their energy out. That's when you bring books or small toys to keep them occupied. And if for some reason you couldn't bring anything, you let them play with the handle on your purse or keep them entertained yourself - talk to them, play hand games, quietly sing songs, etc. There are lots of ways for a child to "explore" and be engaged without running around and wreaking havoc. A two-year-old child, or any child under ten for that matter, should never be told to just sit down and shut up. It's the PARENT'S responsibility to keep a child from getting bored in an adult-oriented environment. Of course it gets easier as children get older... a ten-year old could bring a book, magazine, mp3 player, DVD player or hand-held video game and keep themselves busy. A two-year-old can't do that, which is why it's up to YOU (not you directly, bluefairy) to bring something for them to do.

Well since you weren't saying that they shouldn't run wild as they please all the time, and since I wasn't saying make them sit ridgedly with nothing to do...

what the heck are we all arguing about????

 

[bluefairy13]

Exactly, and that's the big difference here. It's not about people "training" or teaching their kids to just sit down and be quiet, as other posters have suggested. That's the absolute wrong thing to do. It's about teaching kids how to keep themselves busy and have fun when in situations when they can't run around and go crazy. And that starts with the parents. Is it really that hard to throw a few toys in your bag to keep your child busy during long appointments/meetings, etc? Giving them something to do will keep them active and engaged, and show them that it's possible to "explore" in a different way.

I really think you are reading too much into what we are saying.

OK, raise your hand if you are training your 2 year old sit still like a little general and do nothing???

I mean, seriously! We are just trying to teach them not to run around where we don't want them to, as I'm sure you are.

 

[bluefairy13]

Exactly, and that's the big difference here. It's not about people "training" or teaching their kids to just sit down and be quiet, as other posters have suggested. T.

Who suggested that? I must have missed it.

 

[babieemelly]

The thread id 18 pages long now, but somewhere in the middle were a WHOLE lot of people who suggested that kids of such a young age SHOULD be able to just sit down and shut up, and they needed to be trained to do so.

I'm really responding more to that and just using your post as an example of what SHOULD be done!

 

[bluefairy13]

The thread id 18 pages long now, but somewhere in the middle were a WHOLE lot of people who suggested that kids of such a young age SHOULD be able to just sit down and shut up, and they needed to be trained to do so.

I'm really responding more to that and just using your post as an example of what SHOULD be done!

No, you guys are angry in general for something we didn't say. Unless I missed something. If someone said "sit still" you added the "with nothing to do" and the "for unlimited periods of time."

Again, I think some of you (not you specifically) just feel like being mad at someone, because I just don't think anyone, unless you can show me, is saying a 2 year old should be able to just sit down and shut up staring into space with nothing to do.

If someone said something and I missed it, show me and I will be the first to admit that I am wrong.

 

[GemmaPixie]

ITA. If she knew she was going to be spanked (hardly child abuse!) if she continued whimpering when she was told to stop, then she should have stopped.

My DH's mother was the type to say "if you keep crying I'm going to give you something to cry about" and she would do just that. He grew up to be a wonderful man. Spanking is NOT "child abuse."

If more parents believed in "spare the rod, spoil the child" I think there would be less "problem children" in the world today. Same goes for in schools. Teachers and principals should still be able to spank students when necessary. Kids today know that teachers/principals "can't touch them" and so many parents are of the "time out" mindset so kids know they can get away with a whole heck of a lot more than they used to. Sad.

I disagree with everything you just said! Especially the bit about teachers being able to hit kids....that is just WRONG!!

 

[connorlevismom]

No, you guys are angry in general for something we didn't say. Unless I missed something. If someone said "sit still" you added the "with nothing to do" and the "for unlimited periods of time."

Again, I think some of you (not you specifically) just feel like being mad at someone, because I just don't think anyone, unless you can show me, is saying a 2 year old should be able to just sit down and shut up staring into space with nothing to do.

If someone said something and I missed it, show me and I will be the first to admit that I am wrong.

You missed this:

The fact that so many of you think a 2-3 yr old child isn't capable of sitting QUIETLY (which is what he was initially correcting) amazes me and also explains to me all the posts about having to take a car seat to contain their child on an airplane because they won't sit and the misbehaving kids at Disney. A child even at 2 is capable of knowing to sit and wait for a bit without fussing. I would have corrected mine for "whimpering" or whatever it is being called. They don't need entertained constantly they can sit quietly in a public place if that is what is demanded of them. Kids used to behave in church without gameboys.

Kristine

 

[bluefairy13]

You missed this:





Kristine

Kristine you got me there! Does she mean without a coloring book or a peep out of her?

OK, you were right. I don't agree with that poster.

 

[connorlevismom]

Kristine you got me there! Does she mean without a coloring book or a peep out of her?

OK, you were right. I don't agree with that poster.

Yes she does. Also in this thread, said poster had written that if my child does not want to color for an hour, he should sit at the table and do nothing then for that hour.

ETA:

Go ahead and twist things any way you want. I don't think children need to be soldiers but I do think they need to know how to behave in public and that not enough is expected out of them now. As far as your son I said it was not fair to the other children for him to disrupt the class by RUNNING OUT OF the room and the teacher having to chase him every time. Which is what she was complaining about. I also said he could be expected to sit and wait if he didn't want to color. So roll your eyes it doesn't bother me I just know what hundreds of other children are capable of doing and just saying years and years ago a lot more was expected out of children and they were able to give it so what has changed?

But, I also think this poster is quite extreme and does not represent most parents.

Kristine

 

[PaulaSB12]

What I find is disturbing is that a small snapshot of a man's life enough to label him as a child abuser and a wife abuser, BUT another thread where a mother was doing some pretty nasty things to her daughter and blaming everyone else for it is obviously ill!

 

[DaParkers]

Are you trying to pick a fight with that poster?

Yes. I want to fight.

 

[Wishing on a star]

What I find is disturbing is that a small snapshot of a man's life enough to label him as a child abuser and a wife abuser, BUT another thread where a mother was doing some pretty nasty things to her daughter and blaming everyone else for it is obviously ill!

If I am correct in remembering the thread that you are referring to, that mother definately had some issues (did anyone actually say mentally ill????) but she was not physically dragging and beating her children.

Huge difference.

No analogy at all.

 

[TinkerbellMama]

But, I also think this poster is quite extreme and does not represent most parents.

On this thread, or in general?



JUST KIDDING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!