Another thing I forgot to mention is that also ever since Dad got home from the hospital is have a personality change and sometimes when I eat breakfast Dad can be cheerful one day and angry and grouchy the next day. Like one time at breakfast Dad nearly spilled milk on me when I was having cookies and when my mom and I were eating breakfast my dad got mad at me and turned off Pandora when my mom and I were trying to enjoy music while we ate and nearly almost broke my TV remote when he threw it and I didn't do anything but he stomped off after my mother and I ate breakfast to once again sit in the living room and watch his game shows and Youtube and cartoons and then when Mom and I are trying to read books Dad falls asleep during my time in the living room with my parents and if I wake Dad up to talk to us Dad yells really loud at me and accuses me of being loud and he tells me to be quiet and let him sleep but I think he pretends to sleep so he can ignore me. And I think this has gone on too long and Mom and I want to make Dad help out around the house and pay attention to me
It is very common for people undergoing health changes to experience emotional, along with the physical. challenges. In short, patients can become depressed and anxious, when, for perhaps the first time, they’re recognizing their own vulnerability and even mortality. Looking from the outside in, we say, aww, it’s not so bad, you’re doing a lot better, etc. But a) it can continue on for some time, and b) when it’s you, it can be very hard to deal with. Not everyone copes well with health challenges - patients themselves, or their loved ones. We all do the best we can do. I sense that your father’s anger may be related to some of these issues.
Remember, too, that medications can do funny things to people, even though they’re meant to help. Try taking a bunch of medications and you’ll they they can make you feel sick, nauseas, tired, foggy, anxious, sleep deprived, uncoordinated, forgetful, and many other things. As a nurse of almost 40 years, these are all things I take into account when caring for patients. Still, it’s not always easy when you’re the target of some of these moods and outbursts. But we really have to remember, that when it’s US, we suddenly and unwittingly develop a better understanding of it. We need to count our blessings when it’s NOT us, but still try to help and understand our loved ones when it happens. Again, not easy. But important. As pp’s have said, we don’t want to feel guilty or wish we had done things differently if the worst should happen to that person. This all takes insight, maturity and patience.
I would suggest that if your Dad isn’t in a good mood due to his illness and recovery, that maybe you, and hopefully sometimes your Mom, as long as Dad is safe to be alone, get out for a while or go do something in another area of the house. You all might enjoy some time alone, to regroup and renew your own well-being.
It might also be good for you to look at what it means to build resilience:
https://www.everydayhealth.com/wellness/resilience/
I do wish you and your family well. It doesn’t hurt to vent. But also try to have compassion for what your Dad is going through.
