I truly feel like I should be starring in my own soap opera or something.

[6_Time_Momma]

My DD Destiny started kindergarten this year. At home, she is absolutely the most outgoing, bubbly, energetic, happy child you would ever want to see.

Unfortunately, at school or other big group things, she shuts down. I mean won't move unless she is taken by the hand, won't talk, won't look at anyone, looks at the floor, etc. Her school has appointed her a "School success" teacher to try and help her.

Today was the school carnival. She was so excited to go. As soon as an adult talked to her, she started......looking at the floor, not talking, etc. It is not just being a "brat" and not talking either. And it goes beyond basic shyness. I had a parent come up to me today and tell me she had helped out in Destiny's class the other day and she "felt so sorry for her" as Destiny just sat looking at her desk and that seeing her was "heartbreaking".

Anyway, after talking with her teacher today, I am calling Monday to have her evaluated by a psycologist for, possibly, "selective mutism" and/or anxiety disorder. With selective mutism, it is an extreme anxiety disorder in which they literally cannot talk in certain situations, their brain shuts off the speech center as a protective thing, I guess.

Treatment is with therapy and/or medication. *sigh*

She is such a sweet, outgoing thing at home or at grandma and grandpas. It is so frustrating to see her shut down like that.

If it ain't one thing, it's another!!

 

[Briar Rose 7457]

{hugs} Kristy, you've got a very full plate, don't you?

 

[browneyes]

Poor thing. It's good that you're responsive to finding a way for her to cope with this.

You could write a good book about your life and it would be a best seller!

Good luck with finding a way to help Destiny.

 

[6_Time_Momma]

LOL!! I feel like you guys are going to see my posts and start saying "Oh, man....what is wrong with that woman now?!?!?!?!"

 

[Serena]

Nuh huh, I'm sure I have that title. LOL

hang in there.

 

[disfanatiks]

{{{HUGS}}} Kristy. There are a lot of web sites with information and support. I started looking after you posted about selective mutism earlier. I had never heard of that before.

I am wishing you all the best and a very happy outcome.

 

[Buckalew]

Good luck for her, Kristy. How awful for her to have such a problem. I'll keep her in my prayers. I am so gld she has a mommy like you who understands and cares and tries to help her children solve their problems. Life is tough, isn't it. {{{hugs}}}

 

[helenabear]

{{hugs}} Kristy. I hope they are able to find a good way to help Destiny deal with this (either through therapy or medication).

Laurie & Kristy, I do not think that at all when I see your posts. I do hope tons of good things start coming both of your ways soon

 

[#1 Disney Fan]

Big ~*hugs*~ to you Kristy and for Destiny.

 

[SonjaB]

Bless her heart, it does sound like some form of social phobia or selective mutism. She's fortunate to have such a responsive mom and such caring people at school. I hope the therapist can get her diagnosed and on the road to recovery quickly.

 

[Dan Murphy]

My best for her, Kristy, and {hugs} for you. So good to hear you care so much about your children, a good mom you are.

 

[ripleysmom]

"LOL!! I feel like you guys are going to see my posts and start saying "Oh, man....what is wrong with that woman now?!?!?!?!"

How'd you know? LOL!!

Seriously Kristy, I am sure with a mom like you to help her and guide her she'll get all of the support that she needs to overcome the problem.

At least you are being concerned about the problem and getting help for her. A friend of a friend's son has this disorder. She keeps saying he'll snap out of it...

 

[janette]

Poor thing, hopefully they can help her quickly. That is a really rough transition.

 

[Boots]

{{{{{{HUGS}}}}} Hope that you find something out.

 

[Teejay32]

My DD was like that for a few years. Mostly with adults, rarely with other kids. In fact I used to tell people (even our own relatives, like great aunts) to give her an hour or so to 'warm up' at family gatherings. She'd hide, stare off into space, absolutely wouldn't talk to anyone to save her life. Then if it was prolonged situation, she'd get sick.

She was a young 5 when Kindergarten started so we put her in a private school - eight kids in her class, lots of teachers and staff. I believe this was a mistake. She didn't thrive there and it was always a chore to get her to go. Then she went to public first grade, 18 kids, one teacher. Success. It took a month to start seeing the change but by the end of the year, no problems at all. The school counselor talked to her a few times but I'm not sure it made a difference - she wouldn't talk much to him either. I'm not sure what what worked, actually. But I give some credit to the environment she was in (more kids and fewer adults.) She just started second grade, and *loves* school.

I have the opposite problem with my second one, getting through to her that Kindergarten is not just one big social event.

 

[HugsForEeyore]

I babysit a girl who fits this description. I never knew there was a name - "selective mutism", as you said. This girl is eight now, but when she first entered preschool, she simply wouldn't talk to anyone. She had speech issues, but at home she would talk all the time! She just wouldn't talk in groups, or to other children in her class. She wasn't that sad in class - she would just do solitary things like puzzles. She was eventually sent to the local early intervention preschool, but that did not help her talk in school, either.

But in kindergarten, she finally began to grow out of it somewhat, at least enough to make friends. Her mom says now, "maybe she was very smart - maybe those people in preschool weren't worth talking to!" (she was kidding, I think!) This girl is now in third grade, and unfortunately has some learning disabilities and is still labeled with a kind of social anxiety. She still freezes when given an assignment to do in the classroom, and needs an adult to guide her through the activity and give constant feedback on whether she is doing it right. But she makes friends and talks "enough" to satisfy the teacher.

So maybe your daughter will start to outgrow it. Until then,
hope for the best!

<table width="350" border="0" bgcolor="#5F3A12"><tr bgcolor="#9C6629"><td width="125"><div align="center"><img src="http://www.geraldfield.com/nadinesplace/muppetquiz/rowlf.jpg" width="125" height="108"></div></td><td width="177"><p align="center"><b><font size="3" color="#432D16">You are Rowlf!</font></b><font color="#432D16"><br><font size="2">You don't draw attention to yourself much, preferring to keep your cool and stay in the background</font></font><font color="#593C1E"><font size="2">.</font></font></p></td></tr><tr bgcolor="#5F3A12"><td colspan="2"><div align="center"><font size="1"><b><a href="http://www.geraldfield.com/cgi-bin/unofficial/quizzes/sfesurvey.cgi?whatmuppetareyou" target="_blank"><font color="#AF7627">Take the <i>What Muppet Are You?</i> Quiz!</font></a></b></font></div></td></tr></table>

 

[abaldacci]

I hope all goes well with DD and good luck. Keep you sunnyside up

 

[snoopy]

I'm sure this is frustrating, Kristy.

What a pretty name Destiny is. How did you choose it? I just love it.

I have no experience with this sort of thing, but I do want to offer you a big {{{hug}}}. Hopefully the therapist can get to the bottom of whatever it is that is making Destiny not want to talk in school, and modifications can be made to make her more comfortable.

 

[crazyme5kids]

I think it was 20/20 and John Stossel that did a segment on extreme shyness/selective mutism. It was very informative and sounds like what you are describing. Try to track it down.