I think this is acceptable, DH disagrees.

[Spirit Feather]

We want to have a surprise 60th birthday party for my father-in-law in October. He knows everybody--I mean it, you guys all probably know him. Anyway, we would probably have to mail between 400-500 invitations.

I would like to supply the meat, table settings, drinks and, of course, birthday cake. We would also be renting a banquet facility. I would then ask everyone attending to bring a side dish or salad to share. Kind of a pot-luck thing.

DH says we have to supply the whole meal.

Or could I do it later in the evening--like at 7:00 p.m. and just do snacks and B.Y.O.B. and, of course, birthday cake. Somehow that does not sound like as much fun to me.

If I had the $$$ I would cater the whole thing in. We are poor! Our income this year will probably be less than $15,000--after feeding the WDW habit, it does not leave a lot left to cater big parties!

Any opinions?????? Suggestions??????

 

[Pam]

The pot luck dinner is definitely acceptable in my book. If you were having that many people - the expense of even that would be very high. IMO, I would just go for the cake and ice cream reception deal.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

 

[disneyjunkie]

Can you get other family members to help out?
This way you can share the cost of the party.

 

[Pembo]

I too would go the cake & ice cream route. Inviting that many people is going to cost you a fortune just in c&i and paper products. Postage alone will be expensive!

 

[binny]

I think a potluck is fine.

I disagree though with your opinion about an after dinner party! I often think those are more fun because you get to mosey around more and visit with more people. It also leaves room for dancing or whatever you want to do.

We did that for our Wedding. Had an afternoon reception and it was just cake and finger foods. I liked it better than the sit down meals I had been to because I wasnt *stuck* talking to whoever was sitting next to me JMHO though lol.

Have fun! Thats the most important part!!

 

[Saffron]

I had a retirement party for my mom. She has 14 brothers and sisters and our little family is the only family that has less than 4 kids. And all of my cousins have kids! And their kids have kids! And then there were co-workers and her church family! There was no way I could afford a catered dinner. I paid for her friend to take her out to dinner, then we all gathered for surprise cake and coffee, tea, soda blah, blah around 6:30pm. It worked out great! It was very relaxed. Everyone had a really nice time. There were lots of laughs that night.

 

[Spirit Feather]

No, no other family to help out financially. We are a small family. FIL just has lots and lots of friends!

I just called one local banquet facility. I can get:

Roast Pork Loin Entree
Rotini with Tomato pasta sauce and cheese
One Potato side dish
One Veggie Side dish
3 types of salad
soda
beer
cash bar
bar snacks
facility
staff
table set-ups
center pieces
decorations

all for $16.50 per person + tax.

That sounds like the easiest way to go. I only have to show up! But, when I multiply that times the 200 folks that would probably attend: $3300 + tax + the birthday cake! Oh, and don't forget the printing of the invitations and postage! ACK!

 

[binny]

are any of you involved in a church that would let you rent out a room there? Or a community organization? I know our YMCA has a great room that we rent out for cheap.

As for invitations how many can you email? I know its nice to do a formal thing but it isnt always possible to do that. Do you really want to do go into debt for a party?
Sorry just my own opinions there take them for what theyre worth I guess. I know you want to do something wonderful for him but its the friends and the thought you put into this that he is going to remember not the pork loin, you know?


BTW if youre looking for a gift idea? ( Im just taking all sorts of liberties here dont mind me lol) What about getting all of those 200 people or so to send you a a favourite memory or three of your FIL and making a nice scrapbook for him? I did this for dh and he absolutely loves it!! He still shows it off all the time!

I sent a survey around asking things like " what about J makes you smile?" What was the funniest thing you ever saw J do?" " what is your fabourite memory of J?"
That sort of thing.

Anyway, just some thoughts.

 

[kylara]

I would also go for the later event...maybe add some finger food for those who like to munch on something besides cake. The sit down dinner is going to be expensive and also a lot more formal.

 

[Spirit Feather]

Okay, I can get a very nice room for $300. I would need paper products, finger foods (doesn't Sam's Club have those trays with veggies and wings and junk?). Birthday cake and ice cream. Oh, and drinks. I could supply soda or lemonade or ice tea. I can check with the facility and see if we can do B.Y.O.B. for those that want.

Okay, what about music? Recorded music would be fine. I do not expect there would be a lot of dancing or anything.

I have arranged tons and tons of banquets and dinners before but they were always for business and involved a guest speaker, someone to introduce the speaker, etc. I feel like I am not going to have this thing planned correctly or something. It is confusing my already befuddled mind. I suppose I do not need an agenda--just let everyone show up and figure it out on their own?????

 

[CookieGVB]

IMHO, I'd opt for a MUCH smaller party. It's a wonderful thought, but really - all those people sound like wayyy to much of an expense, and you sound like you have a limited budget to handle all that.

I'd cut the guest list down, make your own invitations, and like someone suggested, email some of them out.

 

[aprincessmom]

We would also be renting a banquet facility.

You should check with the facility. Many banquet halls won't allow food brought in from the outside unless it is provided by a caterer. Make sure before you sign the contract that you can bring food in that hasn't been cooked/created by a catering company.

 

[tiggerlover]

Regina, would it be possible to rent out a local fire house or American Legion or VFW hall? Often times the cost to do this is minimal (under $100) and then when you send out invitations call it a Surprise Pot Luck 60th Birthday Party, anyone who doesn't think a pot luck party is appropriate won't come. But chances are lots will come with many dishes to share. Then all you have to do is provide the beverages, cake, paper products and perhaps a few deli trays of meat and rolls or you could cook up a roast turkey and baked ham. I think this would cut your costs considerably. You obviously think highly of your FIL, but I don't think he would like to see you go to such a big expense on his account and I think the above would be cost efficient and would give him lots of time to celebrate with those he calls friend.

Good luck!

 

[aahmom1]

That just sounds like a lot, if you only make 15,000 a year. That's more than 20% of your yearly income.

 

[Spirit Feather]

Originally posted by tiggerlover
Regina, would it be possible to rent out a local fire house or American Legion or VFW hall?

Well, that is another idea. I love you guys! It is so much fun to brain-storm with people from all over the world.

 

[Dopey Sharon]

Why not just take him out to dinner? Why would you plan a party for 200-500 people, when you really can't afford it? Doesn't make sense to me.

 

[disykat]

When my dad retired, he specifically didn't want a fancy dinner or any kind of program (that was the general custom where he worked). His partners ended up renting the log cabin in the city park (or is that just a northwest thing? We have several in our area that are party rentals at state,county, and city parks. ) and setting out snacks as well as cake and punch. He also knew many people since he was a pediatrician. It was a Sunday afternoon open house and they put an invitation in the paper (took out an ad) inviting all current and former patients.

Even a potluck might be kind of hard to handle with the numbers of people you're talking about. I'd stick with casual snacks. If you are truly talking that many people, I would also recommend skipping the surprise element. (I personally would be horrified if people surprised me like that - so make sure he is a person who likes that kind of thing.)

 

[BrerMom]

I'd make sure this is something he wants, first. I should have listened when my parents said they didn't want a party for their anniversary; they were actually angry at me - in front of guests!

What you are suggesting sounds like it will cost the same as some weddings. Will he enjoy it if he can't talk to all 200 guests?

It's sweet that you want to honor him, but I'm sure he wouldn't want you to wreck your budget to do it.

 

[poohandwendy]

Just a small bit of advice, do NOT mail out 400-500 invitations if you expect only aroung 200 people to attend. That could turn into a disaster! Never expect less than 1/2 to show, they can always surprise you. That said, I still would opt for a MUCH smaller party with cake, iced tea/soda, snacks and coffee and maybe beer. Good Luck! Hope your Dad has a great birthday!