I think I need some help...

[Stephie77]

Hey! I wrote my answers in purple below. I actually lived in West Hartford until I was 8. I went to King Phillip! How old are you if you don't mind my asking? I still know a bunch of people from there. Talk about a small world-lol

DF and I are getting down to the wire - the wedding is in 5 months! And it is suddenly hitting us that maybe our budget has gotten a little out of control. We've both looked it over and thought of a few places to make changes, but we chose our day and time because the minimum to Disney is 10K and we were hoping to stay close to that. Well, we are at 18K AFTER making tons of cuts, and we have no idea what else to tweak! We both are starting to panic and I think I'm so stressed it's keeping me from seeing solutions here. I would greatly appreciate any suggestions!!

Here is our BEO:

Ceremony
Ceremony Usage $775 and $1304
Violinist $575
Major Domo $675-is this important to you? If not then cut it
Floral for ceremony $2176-how many bm/grooms men do you have? this seems high, there has to be a way to cut it down. I am the type of person that flowers were not that important to me and honestly, after getting my pictures back and doing my album, with the exception of my bouquet, the other flowers were barely in my album or in many of the pictures
Floral Fees $50
Ceremony total: $5697

Pre-Reception
Bar $773-I would not cut this. I know that most people like to drink at wedding. As other suggested, do Bill on Consumption. We did that and got money back after the wedding. You can also cut an hour off towards the end of the wedding or during dinner. Also, if I remember correctly, they are not allowed to serve while Mickey and Minnie are there. So that's a half hour.
Gourmet Olives $322-this will not be missed and I think the cheese should be enough.
International Cheese Display $644-do they charge per person for this? if so see if you can do the 3 appetizers for 28.50.
Bartender $100-I agree with what Sara said, If your bar is over a certain amount you'll get this back
Pre-reception total: $1846

Mad Hatter Cake: $1043-can you do a different cake? I did a Mickey's delight and it was 8.50 pp
Reception
Bar $1546
Champagne Toast $381-You have a bar, no need for this. It was one of the first things I cut especially since most people don't even drink the champagne.
Sparkling Cider Toast $31-same as above
Room Delivery $10-what is this for?
2 Chef's Meals $60-why is this $30? mine came to $30 for both vendors?
50 lunch buffet @ 65.50 each $4220
Cake handling fee $219
DJ $1150
Mickey & Minnie $1200-Me personally I would not cut this. If you can't do both, then try to do one.
Caricature Artists $1560-This should go. I know it is a cool novelty but having the DJ and the mice would be more fun in my opinion and will keep your guests happy.
Reception total: $10635

Dessert Party
Viewing Fees $662
Venue Fee $266
Menu @ $32/guest $2061-can you cut this down at all? Talk to your planner for other dessert options.
Catering Fee $91
Disney Photographer $300
Car Transportation for us $50-can't you take the monrail or bus? do you plan on wearing your dress?
Dessert Party total: $3430

MK Photo Shoot $1400

TOTAL BEO $24,053
These are non Disney expenses we still have to pay:
Balance on photography $1200
Videography $1500-can you have someone (friend of family member) videotape it? We had a few people do that for us. Beaute Special $1000-why is this so high? If I read correctly you have one MOH and one BM and you? Are you paying for their hair? I see you bought them gifts already. Do you feel it is not enough
Dress steaming $120
Rehearsal Dinner at 'Ohana's for all guests $2000-why not do a welcome breakfast or brunch or a farewell brunch. I did a farewell brunch the day after my wedding at 1900 Park fare. For about 35 people it was $700. Brunch is definitely cheaper and you can call the restaraunt directly to set this up.
Bridesmaid outing 2 days before: unk, not planned yet
Groomsmen Golfing 2 days before: $400
Groomsmen Gifts: no idea
(We already bought gifts for my bridesmaids)-
DF Tux: not chosen yet, is $200 average? DH tux at MW was $150 but like Sara said if you rent 5, the 6th is free.Gifts for Parents: not chosen yet
Meal Plan for our 2 week Disney honeymoon, plus spending money $1120+
(we paid for the room and airfare already)

We are thinking of cutting:
the bar-I don't think you should do this
olives at pre-reception-Should be cut
the bridesmaid/groomsmen outings-There are many things to do either in the parks (if you all have park tickets) or DTD extending the RD to all guests - maybe just bridal party + parents instead-see my comment above
Major Domo-should be cut
Mickey & Minnie (sob!)-This was important to me and I made sure to budget it in. Is it really important to you?
caricature artists (this makes me angry because I was quoted only $500 at my PS, not $1500!)-See my comment above
What else can I do???

I hope this helps. I know that a lot of people gave you advice, but remember that it's yours and DF's day and think long and hard about what you really want. You will kick yourself after the fact. ( I know that i regret not using outside photography and MK shoot along with some other things). Good luck and let us know what you decide.

 

[gules]

Hmmm. Tricky! I had a ton of fun figuring our expenses and where to cut without cutting away my dream. Of course, it helps that I didn't have an elaborate idea of a wedding. Anyway, I had a guest list of around 75 and I was on the low end of 20k, so you should be able to do this!


- Timing!: Have you considered a morning or early afternoon wedding? Serving brunch is fun and costs you significantly less per plate for food. You can also count on less people drinking, and offer fruits and the like for pre-reception instead of expensive appetizers.

- Floral: For mine, I went with low centerpieces with just a few flowers and candles, with mickey confetti to take up more space. I let the cake go mostly unflowered (it was a beautiful cake already) and got all my linens and centerpieces from Disney floral. My bouquet, boutonnieres, corsages, etc, I had a friend pick up from an outside florist, and Disney floral reused them all as extra decor for the reception. My floral ended up 2000 ish and that was with nine tables (including the sweetheart).

-Major Domo: Unless he is part of your dream, I would cut him in favor of Mickey and Minnie.

- Bar: Unless you know some heavy drinkers, bill on consumption. I did without an alcoholic bar completely, but then I also had a morning wedding. Also, check how many hours you're paying for against how many you figure you'll need. Few people will want to keep drinking in the last half hour or so.

- Olives: Cut. You have the cheese already.

- Mad Hatter Cake: This was may cake style as well and it was a beautiful center of attraction all on its own. Don't both with too much decor around it. My florist just placed it artfully and sprinkled some confetti and voila!

- Champagne: As has been said, skip this for the toast, or only have one bottle for you and hubby. Since you have an open bar, people will have their own drinks already.

- Lunch Buffet: You did the right thing here by going with lunch. Maybe try nudging it up towards brunch instead? What is on your menu anyway? This seems just a touch steep to me.

- DJ: Do you have a friend or relative who can DJ? If I'd had one I'd've done that in an instant. You will still have to get sound equipment but it won't be as bad, and your friend will likely do it for free as a wedding gift.

- Caricatures: This seems fun. I would check on those prices again. If they're still too steep, I would definitely cut this. Maybe go for at-table disposable cameras. That way, guests can take pictures with the characters and add to a lot of great memories for you and themselves.

- Dessert Party: How important is this? Also, how important is it that you get professional photography? Can the 'family camera man' do a good enough job, especially since you're getting the in-park photos? Also see if you can reduce the per-plate cost somehow.

- MK Photo Shoot: I did this and it was the best thing I chose. I loved it, even getting up at 4AM and running for the van. I would stick to this for as long as I could.

- Groomsmen and Bridesmaids: Are these outings your bachelor/bachelorette parties? If not, then the golf outing especially should count as a gift. Do something equally nice for the girls, snap some pictures for memories, and call it a day. For mine I gave small photo frames (Lennox, on sale!) and took them out to tea. They got great food, great memories, and the servers even gave us all roses.

- Rehearsal Dinner: I would go for a smaller number of people and a more casual restaurant, personally. You can save a lot of money here. If your rehearsal is early, make it a rehearsal lunch, or brunch. You can save a ton of cash by avoiding the mere word "dinner."

- Hair and Makeup: This seems extravagant. I think I paid this much for myself (mock session, wedding, and early photo shoot) plus my four bridesmaids, both hair and makeup. But even then I have my doubts. Are you sure of this quote?

- Steaming the dress: For this much money you could buy a handheld steamer and do it yourself, and then keep the thing for future use. Who gave you this price? And why do you need to steam it again?

 

[dakcp2001]

I would keep the things that are unique 7 "Disney" that will make the wedding magical, IMO, that means keep the dessert party, Mickey & Minnie, & the MK shoot. Keep the cake of your dreams and spend your money on photos etc.

Cut the things guests wont miss:

Your lunch buffet seems high, try to cut the menu a bit, there will be plenty of food! Can you cut a dessert or a course? Ask for more options, this seems very high.

Same for dessert party menu, try to do a more custom one with only the things you really want. Ask planner for more options to cut here.

Cut the floral, ask them what is in season and see what you can do. People wont miss the extra flowers. In season are usually more beautiful anyway. No one notices the flowers except you, and they dont last more than a day or so. Get the bouquet of your dreams, cut the rest down.

Cut Major Domo
Cut Caricature
Cut Olives
Why is the cheese so exp? Can this be veggies or something instead? Ask for more options from the planner.
Cut Champagne Toast- People can use what they have in hand.

Do bill on consumption for bar, at lunch this seems like a better deal.

 

[chryscrazy]

Have you made any decisions on what to cut?

 

[Kimmers127]

Hi everyone!

I'm sorry it has taken me so long to post an update! I've recently started a new job and things have been great but hectic.

Since everyone gave me so many great ideas, I thought I'd let you all know where we currently stand.

We cut Major Domo. Honestly I think this was a case of getting caught up in the PS. When I really sat down and thought about it, I don't think he really even fits with our vision for the ceremony.

We cut the bar. This was a difficult decision as it's a big priority for me that we be good hosts for our guests. There was a little backstory here that I didn't get into, but suffice it to say that the bar wasn't solely a financial issue. In the end, we decided to have a cash bar and make sure our guests are well taken care of in other areas. We are doing BOC for water and soda (which.... oh my god was that estimate A LOT higher than I expected!)

We cut the olives. Like many here said, the cheese display should be enough. (I think a few asked why that was so high... it's actually cheeses, crackers, breads and fruit spreads. It was really, really good when we tasted it at the PS and not at all what I was expecting.)

We cut one of the items from our menu (a beef dish that wasn't too popular with our group at the tasting) and lowered our overall cost by almost $500.

And *I THINK* we are going to cut the Magic Kingdom and Epcot photo shoots. This has been tough for me because that was something I have really, really wanted all along. However, I initially fell in love with several brides' dark photos from the castle and the carousel... and with the new, later time slots, I'm not going to be able to get a shot like that. I'm frustrated that even though I'd already paid my deposit, scheduled the shoot and signed a contract when the times changed, my time was abruptly changed. I'm even more frustrated that I was never even notified of this change. (In fact, because I hadn't heard anything, I assumed that those of us already scheduled wouldn't be held to the new times. I happened to mention it in passing to my Wedding Planner and only then was informed that I had lost my original time.) All in all, the experience has put me off and it's a lot of money to spend on something that is already starting off on the wrong foot, you know?

I'm also thinking we are already spending a lot on wedding day photography and maybe it's enough?

And lastly... I'm just not sure I want another early morning!

I think I've read something somewhere about a honeymoon shoot for $300, so I may look into that instead.

AND, as it turns out I am able to keep Mickey and Minnie! My brother gave us our wedding gift early and is very generously paying for the mice for us! I'm very, very touched by this thoughtful gift and of course I'm thrilled to keep them in the budget!

To address a few of your comments...

I estimated the cost for Beaute Special because I couldn't find my contract when I was posting. That estimate was for myself, my 5 bridesmaids, my mother and my FMIL, plus my hair and makeup on the day of the Rehearsal (we're having photography at our RD so I thought it would be nice to feel pretty for the pictures).

I went back and forth about what things the bridesmaids should pay for and what I should cover. It's tough when it's a destination wedding! In the end I thought covering the hair & makeup would be a nice gesture on our part and kind of a fun pampering thing for the girls and I on the day of the wedding. The girls have paid for their dresses and will pay for their shoes. I think I'm going to choose 2 different styles and let them each get whichever they prefer. (We have a mix of heel fans and haters!) I have bought them each a gift already. I am planning to have them pay for their manicures & pedicures in Disney. And I figured I would buy their wedding day jewelry and include it with their gifts.

Oh and I think I was unclear about the floral - that total is my TOTAL floral cost for the day, including the DP. We are moving some floral from the ceremony location to the reception location. Our centerpieces are only about $25 each if I remember correctly. They only have a small floral component - we went beachy so they're mainly sand and seashells.

I like the idea of making the RD a Rehearsal Brunch... I'm going to give that some thought.

Thanks again for all the helpful suggestions! I'm feeling a lot better about things after making some cuts.

 

[Kimmers127]

Hey! I wrote my answers in purple below. I actually lived in West Hartford until I was 8. I went to King Phillip! How old are you if you don't mind my asking? I still know a bunch of people from there. Talk about a small world-lol

I hope this helps. I know that a lot of people gave you advice, but remember that it's yours and DF's day and think long and hard about what you really want. You will kick yourself after the fact. ( I know that i regret not using outside photography and MK shoot along with some other things). Good luck and let us know what you decide.

Ooooh, how crazy that you're from WH too?! I'm 26, but I've only lived in WH for the last 4 years. (I'm originally from Woodstock, CT.) My DF is 30 and he has lived in WH all his life. He went to Conard... I wonder if you know any of the same people!

 

[Kimmers127]

Forgot to include that we have decided NOT to have professional videography. My mom has a Flip and so does my aunt, so we'll get some footage from those. Honestly this is something that although I really want it NOW, I think after the wedding I would regret the expense. So, CUT!

 

[chryscrazy]

Thanks for coming back with the update. It was so awesome that your brother did that for you!

 

[DoomBuggy0922]

On a side note--- Kimmers, you're from Woodstock?! I worked at Roseland Cottage!!!

 

[Kimmers127]

How nuts is that!! I worked at the Inn at Woodstock Hill briefly.