I should have stuck to my guns

[jodifla]

I never remember my mom staying at Girl Scout meetings. And that was fine with me! It's nice to have a bit of independence. That's what Girl Scouts is meant to foster.

 

[BuzzPrincessMom]

I am a Brownie Leader. The only time I have ever suggested to a parent that they should not attend a meeting was with one girl. She refuses to do anything either of us leaders ask if her Mom is there. Her behavior is very disruptive. When her Mom is not there she cooperates and behave beautifully. The mother and both us leaders decided to have the Mom not come any more.

Do I think the Daisy leader could have handled this better, yes. Does DD have any friends in this troop, what do those parents think?

If your gut tells you not to leave her after you discuss this with the leader, I would find another troop. GS is a wonderful organization.

 

[kaywoody]

I have had two Daisy troops (we're now Brownies and Juniors), and I wanted parents to stay. That's the only way I found to keep girls and moms regular about coming. Otherwise too many saw it as free babysitting! They'd drop off and just come back at the end. It's too hard to plan events, do activities at home, etc. when there isn't parent participation. When the parents come and participate too (at least in a limited way) AND make friends with other moms it makes it easier to retain girls.

 

[Mom2Ben02]

I am a Tiger (First Grade) Cub Scout Leader. We can never be alone with the scouts - two leaders at all times. Parents MUST attend all meetings and events.

 

[samshane]

Both my girls are girl scouts and I am a registered adult (have been involved for about 6 yrs).

My daughter was in one troop where the parents always stayed - we met at a church. The troop both of my girls are in now, I leave them and come back to get them. But, they have been in this troop for about 3 yrs now and I know the leader very well. They are both also older (9 and nearly 11). When the oldest was a Daisy I always stayed at the meetings to help - and I always registered and paid the fee to be an adult member. I still sometimes stay at the meeting snow - but she has them in her house and there isn't a whole lot of room.

I would wonder myself - especially with the younger Daisies. Every Daisy troop I have been affiliated with (thankfully my girls FINALLY agreed to be in the same troop!), I went to all the meetings and didn't leave. That is why I started becoming a registered adult member (I am cookie parent now).

I would look for another troop if you do not feel comfortable - we have been in some troops I couldn't wait to leave! And now everyone is 100% happy.

 

[britfish]

Thank you all your replies and experiences. It sounds like things vary from troop to troop. I was not comfortable with the project the girls did today. I am assuming some other parents weren't either because I checked my email about 10 min. after getting home and the troop leader had already sent out an email stating some people were upset about todays project and clarifying her intentions with the project.
I did ask about parents staying for the meetings and she said the next few weeks would be good to attend because they were doing messy crafts. I am ok w/ leaving her at some point, since this was only her second time I wanted to get an idea of the people involved and how things go. To all the scout leaders, where does the meeting curiculum come from? Are the projects suggested by Girl Scouts or do the leaders make them up on their own?

 

[Tink415]

Sorry you got creeped out and had a bad impression of Girl Scouts. Its a great organization! I would try calling the leader to say you want to be involved as a helper to the troop so you can find out what's involved.

Girl Scout Councils have slightly different requirements but in our Council anyone attending meetings or events must be registered (includes insurance) or a leader has to obtain supplemental insurance (which needs to be done ahead of time not last minute!). In addition, leaders, anyone handling money, and drivers must submit an application, references, and consent to a background check. It seems excessive, but it provides a degree of protection to all involved. Do all leaders follow this? Probably not, but I do as I'm not willing to be personally responsible! I lay this out, in writing, every year. Some people get it and others don't - I know it can be confusing. I ask every family to try and have at least one adult register.

Edited to add - there is a curriculum to follow that can be adapted to the interests/talents of girls & adults.

 

[caribear]

However, if I remember correctly the rules of the Girl scout councel stated that no adult or sibling could attend any trip/outing unless they were registered with the Girls Scouts.

This is true. My DD7 has been a Daisy for 2 years (K-1) and is now a Brownie (2). Parents that wanted to be involved and stay for meetings had to fill out a registration form and pay $12. We have 11 girls in our troop and about 7 moms stay for the meetings. We have co-leaders and they are great!! My DD did have a different Daisy Leader for a year...and all I can say is the leader makes a big difference in your Girl Scout experience.

Now it's time to sell cookies!!

 

[caribear]

Are the projects suggested by Girl Scouts or do the leaders make them up on their own?

There is actually a book that suggests activities for each of the Try-Its for Brownies...so I assume there is a similar book for Daisies.

Give it a couple of weeks and see how you and your daughter feel then.

 

[junebugs]

To all the scout leaders, where does the meeting curiculum come from? Are the projects suggested by Girl Scouts or do the leaders make them up on their own?

Badge requirements get much more specific and detailed as you go along. The way I remember the Daisy program is that it was pretty much left up to the Leader to find ways to teach/discuss all the petal ideas... Honest & Fair, Respect Authority, Be a Sister to Every Girl Scout, etc. I usually just read a book, did a craft, had a snack, played a game that related to the topic. Like for the Honest and Fair petal we read the Little Red Hen (story where the Red Hen does all the work baking the bread and all the other animals want to eat it). Then we discussed how this wasn't fair, etc.

Brownies have a Manual that guides them to earn each Badge. The Manual has fairly specific projects listed that tell the Leader what you need to do to earn that Badge.

 

[marlynnp]

Badge requirements get much more specific and detailed as you go along. The way I remember the Daisy program is that it was pretty much left up to the Leader to find ways to teach/discuss all the petal ideas... Honest & Fair, Respect Authority, Be a Sister to Every Girl Scout, etc. I usually just read a book, did a craft, had a snack, played a game that related to the topic. Like for the Honest and Fair petal we read the Little Red Hen (story where the Red Hen does all the work baking the bread and all the other animals want to eat it). Then we discussed how this wasn't fair, etc.

Brownies have a Manual that guides them to earn each Badge. The Manual has fairly specific projects listed that tell the Leader what you need to do to earn that Badge.

Those are still only a guide. A leader can do anything as long as it is teaching basically the same information. Most leaders will do most activities straight from the book because it is easier but it is not required.

 

[britfish]

intersting, I kind of figured she must have thought this project up on her own it just seemed kind of out there.
I like the advice to give it a couple of weeks. the crafts for the next two weeks seem good so hopefully I'll feel better getting this week behind me.

 

[TOTMGMWDW]

I have been a co leader for my daughter since she was a first year Brownie. During her second year, we had a girl who was impossible to deal with when the parent was around, so we made a rule that parents had to wait outside of the room. The child ended up leaving but we kept the rule because we realized how much better some of the girls were when Mom wasn't there babying them and do the projects for them. Now, that they are Juniors, there is no way we would want parents in the room. We like the girls to have the freedom to open up and talk about issues openly that they may not be comfortable talking to their parents about...although we always encourage them to talk to parents. Being a Daisy, I would say you should register to help. Maybe Cookie Mom or prepare the craft for meetings.

 

[skw444]

This is my second year as a Daisy Scout leader. We worked on the Honest and Fair petal last year. There is no specific curriculum that is followed but there is lots of information on the internet with ideas of what to do for the petals. In our troop, all our mothers are registered with the Girl Scouts. In our council, if you want to have any contact with the girls as a troop, you need to be registered. A background check is done on all volunteers. I think the leader had good intentions about getting the girls to talk about Honesty and figured the parents there would distract the girls. I would recommend talking to the leader and letting her know that you would like to sit in for a meeting or two.

 

[britfish]

I suppose I am more comfortable with the topic than the craft. It was making a truth mask. It is a mask can use to hide behind/cover their face when telling the truth is too hard.

 

[MickeyMomOfThree]

I have been a leader for 11 years (3 troops). I started with all of my girls as Daisies in kindergarten, I currently have a Junior and a Brownie troop. In all my years I have always said that parents are welcome to stay and be MY helpers. That way, they can be there if they want to be a part of the experience with their daughter but they are not just working with their own daughter, doing their projects or telling them what to say (not at allsaying this is what OP was doing, but what some leaders to say can be an issue.)

I have had some moms who stay for every meeting, more of them drop off and run out of the room very fast, but no matter what I always make it up to what the family is comfortable with. I know personally, I don't care how many background checks you do on a person (and yes I have had a few over the years,) I would not leave my 5 year old with someone I never met.

My suggestion is if you can, offer to be an assistant to the leader and enjoy Girl Scouting with your daughter. I have had some amazing experiences with my girls over the years and have found it to be very rewarding to be a part of for so many years. If you can't and are not comfortable with the leader, find a troop you are comfortable with. Your daughter will be going on trips and before long sleepovers and you need to be comfortable with who she is spending time with.

 

[kaytieeldr]

I didn't know what to do. I was appalled. I really don't think a 5yo confessing sins is all that important and

Respectfully, I find it unusual that you equate "talking about truth and lying" with "confessing sins". It's not the same at all.

"The sun is blue" is a lie, but in NO way is it a sin. Ditto for "I don't know who spilled the juice" (when the speaker knows). Just the first examples that popped into my head.

 

[Tink415]

I suppose I am more comfortable with the topic than the craft. It was making a truth mask. It is a mask can use to hide behind/cover their face when telling the truth is too hard.

I agree that is a weird craft choice for a 5 or 6 year old to learn about honest and fair WTHeck! On the other hand, looking on the bright side, you can give your daughter your family's view on honest and fair, what those values mean to your family, and what you do when the truth is too hard. That craft isn't one I'd be saving!

It reminds me of 16 years ago when my then 4 year old went to an excellent daycare center. She really liked one of the teachers filling in (a college student) and told me she couldn't wait till she could get her belly button pierced, tatoos, and go away with her boyfriend for the weekend! She saw/found out about these things talking to the teacher. I was and appalled! I scheduled a meeting with the director to let her know I thought the teacher was unprofessional and inappropriate. The director gave me some good advise during that talk, basically my child is going to meet all kinds of people, reinforce what our family believes, constantly. It seems funny now that piercings and tatoos bothered me, now ya can't escape them

 

[ChickieToo]

I have been a troop leader since my daughter was a Daisy in kindergarten. She is now in the fifth grade. We have a large troop and there are three of us who are co-leaders. From the very beginning, we have encouraged moms to do what was comfortable for them. We have our meetings directly after school, at the school, so there is no dropping off, but there is a specified pick-up time. Whenever a mom expresses interest in helping we welcome her to a meeting. However, they are allowed one freebie. After that, as mandated by the rules of The Girl Scouts, they have to register as an Adult Volunteer and pay a fee. It is due to the insurance rules as explained before. The way the world is today, there are all kinds of requirements we must abide: training, girl-to-leader ratios, etc. When we went to a Girl Scout camporee last year, none of the leaders/volunteers could sleep in the same tents with their girls. Just one of the rules. It's very strict.

Sometimes a mom (or dad) has a specific skill or career that is germain to the badge we are working on and they come in and do a lesson. For example, we've had a dad who is a policeman talk about safety, a mom who knows sign language come in and teach during our discussion on different methods of communication, a mom who had a great idea for a craft come in and run that part of the meeting, and so on. They usually had something specific to contribute.

But generally speaking, very seldom do we have moms want to stay, except when we have a field trip and Moms are needed for car pooling. Then, luckily,we have an abundance of volunteers--again they must be registered.

I have found that it is much easier to keep the girls together as a group when their own parents aren't there. Even my own daughter, who is extremely well-behaved, can sometimes try to take advantage of having her mom around. It is kind of like being in school--you have a schedule, and activities and everyone needs to follow the same rules and they need to know who the authority figures are. It can get tough with a lot of moms around.

I wouldn't be too tough on the moms who "drop and run". I don't think they necessarily see it as "free babysitting", but rather a time when they can do their grocery shopping or tend to another child while their daughter is occupied. My daughter is on two premier sports teams, and I don't look at her practice time as "free babysitting". In fact sometimes the schedule is just a pain I have to deal with while I have to get my other stuff done. And similarly, the coach will let you stay at these practices, but they would rather you didn't. They just don't want the kids self-conscious or concentrating on their parents when they should be paying attention to the coach. And they certainly don't want the parents yelling out instructions to the players. Again the coaches/teacher/troop leaders need to be seen as authority figures who are running the show.

I have also found that most kids don't want their parents around--doing something on their own gives them a sense of independence. I really think that if you aren't comfortable leaving your daughter for the meetings maybe you and your daughter aren't ready for this kind of commitment yet. After all, she is little and maybe you just aren't there yet. Or if you aren't comfortable with the leader in general, I think that that is a valid concern and you could try to get into another troop, or you could try to become a co-leader, or offer your services for whenever the leader has a complicated meeting or a messy craft.

As far as this leader is concerned, like others have said, maybe she just doesn't communicate properly or is a little overwhelmed and having parents "watch" her makes her nervous. My advice is to get to know her better, and ask her how you can help her without getting in her way. To get to this point she has gone through the background checks and done the training. Maybe she just needs a little more experience.

 

[mjkacmom]

I am a Tiger (First Grade) Cub Scout Leader. We can never be alone with the scouts - two leaders at all times. Parents MUST attend all meetings and events.

Girl scouts is entirely different - I was very surprised when I learned I had to stay for tiger scouts. I've had 3 dd's involved in girl scouts, and parents drop off.