I should have stuck to my guns

[britfish]

DD is 5 and in Kindergarten. In Sept. they sent home info. about Daisy Scouts. I thought it was a little much for a 5yo and the intial cost would be about $45 which wasn't in the budget. Fast forward to the end of Dec. and DD keeps asking to join. So we went to one meeting and I spent the $ to join. During that meeting it was really crazy but I figured it was pre holiday. At that meeting the leader said it was time for parents to leave there girls and not attend with them. I mentioned to her that I would like to come again so I could see how things are run and she didn't say anything. So I go today and the leader told me parents weren't welcome at the meeting because they were talking about truth and lying and she didn't think the kids would be able to talk about their lies w/ parents there.
I didn't know what to do. I was appalled. I really don't think a 5yo confessing sins is all that important and to tell a parent they aren't welcome is disturbing. I told DD I would be back to pick her up. Now I wish I hadn't left her there, and even more so I wish I hadn't signed her up. Anyone have experience w/ Daisy Scouts?

 

[TupperMom7]

That is strange. I would not feel comfortable if I was told I could not attend especially for the reasons given. The heck with truth and lies, how about doing things in secret without the parents there? I always thought that the GirlsScouts encouraged parents to attend, become leaders, Assistant Leaders, etc. I get bad vibes from your situation. Maybe you should contact the GSA and ask them if this is a normal practice, especially at that age.

 

[Pembo]

That's weird. DD is in her 3rd year of girl scouts. (started at age 5). Most of the parents stay with the girls. The leader appreciates the extra help. I wouldn't be happy either.

 

[junebugs]

I have been a Girl Scout Leader for 4 years and started as a Daisy Leader. When I first read your post I was shocked and thought you were right to be concerned - but after I thought about it for a minute it occured to me that perhaps your Leader is just new and not yet comfortable dealing with Parents.

The first petal that a Daisy usally earns is for learning about being Honest and Fair - I suppose lying can be part of that discussion - but it definately NOT really the focus. It's mostly about sharing and telling the truth - not confessing lies!!!

It sounds to me that your Leader may be nervous/uncomfortable about having Parents at the meeting. From expereince I have to say that the girls are usually easier to manage when their parents aren't there (I have 18 girls in my troop).Personally, I have always allowed Parents to stay if they want (especially when the girls were in Kingergarten.)

My suggestion would be to call your Leader and explain your concerns to her. They ARE valid - especially based on how she communicated the meeting topic to you. I would explain to her that you are not yet comfortable leaving your daughter, offer to help out at the meeting. If you get a better vibe from her over the phone - then take your daughter to the meeting and STAY!

If the Leader doesn't go along with this - I would try finding a new Troop. This is not the way Girl Scouts should be.

 

[FoodLover]

Definitely sounds extremely creepy to me. It is not right to encourage 5-year old children to share "secrets" with an adult, without their parents present. In fact, much as I hate to be alarmist, this sounds like the kind of thing a pedophile would do.

Most scout leaders would LOVE to have more parental involvement, I suspect... so why is this leader pushing you away?

 

[Kitzka]

I think it may be this particular leader. I was a Daisy Scout leader (daisy scouts is only for k-1). Instead of working on badges the girls work on petals. the petals each represent a part of the girl scout law. one of which is about lying and truth. it is likely that some children would not answer 'truthfully' if their parent were there.

my meetings were always ran in this format:

1 hour long
beg 10 mins practicing the girl scout promise, singing a song or two each girl telling the group something about the weekend.

next 15 mins was a craft related to that week's theme (we did something on george washington for the truth/lying petal)

next 15 mins was snack time and allowing the craft to dry.

10 mins discussing some of what the petal stood for or othjer activity related to the petal

5 mins-cleaning up

last 5 mins-freindship circle, singing make new freinds and 'getting out of the circle"

parents were welcome to stay but most chose not to and honestly, if you plan to stay for every meeting GS policy is that you ahve to register as a memeber/volunteer. it has to do with insurance and the safety of the other children. not just yours.

i once took my daisies on a field trip and a parent came to the nature center to pick up his daughter. but my records stated that all children were to be returned to the school. i was unable to release her to the parent as if something would ahve happened to the child (car accident, or whatever) i and the girl scouts could have been liable.

You may be saying to yourself that is ridiculous but it's true. So any parent that stays for more than one meeting or is not part of the event (we would often have parent/daughter teas, movie outings etc) then they would have to be registered.

Lara-former 7 year girl scout leader.

 

[Millermom0606]

Doesn't sound right to me either....... I don't think in all my years of Scouts I ever heard any leader say the parents HAD to leave.....

 

[Ava]

I don't think it's at all odd for leaders not to allow parents to stay at every meeting. Like the PP said, it's about liability.

I do, however, think the leader did not explain this well to you, and the reason she gave for you not being allowed to stay was odd. If you'd like to attend another meeting with your DD, tell the leader this and ask if you can attend as a volunteer helper for a couple of meetings.

 

[junebugs]

You may be saying to yourself that is ridiculous but it's true. So any parent that stays for more than one meeting or is not part of the event (we would often have parent/daughter teas, movie outings etc) then they would have to be registered.

I forgot about this and it is TRUE.
If Parents plan to help out or stay at meeting - they are required to be registered with the Girls Scouts. This provides for background checks and insurance (sad - but necessary these days.)
The Parents in my Brownie Troop (3rd graders) are VERY involved. Sixteen of my eighteen Parents are registered with the Girl Scouts.

 

[mjkacmom]

My kids have done Daisy's, Brownie's, and Girl Scouts, and parents don't stay for the meetings, ever. Leaders go through a lot to get certified, so it might be a legal issue. Ds7 joined cub scouts this year, and I was dismayed when I learned I had to stay for the meetings!

 

[jeepgirl30]

I have been a Girl Scout Leader for 4 years and started as a Daisy Leader. When I first read your post I was shocked and thought you were right to be concerned - but after I thought about it for a minute it occured to me that perhaps your Leader is just new and not yet comfortable dealing with Parents.

The first petal that a Daisy usally earns is for learning about being Honest and Fair - I suppose lying can be part of that discussion - but it definately NOT really the focus. It's mostly about sharing and telling the truth - not confessing lies!!!

It sounds to me that your Leader may be nervous/uncomfortable about having Parents at the meeting. From expereince I have to say that the girls are usually easier to manage when their parents aren't there (I have 18 girls in my troop).Personally, I have always allowed Parents to stay if they want (especially when the girls were in Kingergarten.)

My suggestion would be to call your Leader and explain your concerns to her. They ARE valid - especially based on how she communicated the meeting topic to you. I would explain to her that you are not yet comfortable leaving your daughter, offer to help out at the meeting. If you get a better vibe from her over the phone - then take your daughter to the meeting and STAY!

If the Leader doesn't go along with this - I would try finding a new Troop. This is not the way Girl Scouts should be.

I agree, sounds like the leader doesn't feel comfortable with parents around. however, anyone who isn't comfortable with me being with my child sends major red flags.

 

[safetymom]

Maybe you should talk with the leader and ask when the best time to observe would be.

I don't think the girls are confessing but just talking. Maybe the leader is looking for examples and figure the girls would pay better attention if the parents aren't there.

 

[safetymom]

Maybe you should talk with the leader and ask when the best time to observe would be.

I don't think the girls are confessing but just talking. Maybe the leader is looking for examples and figure the girls would pay better attention if the parents aren't there.

 

[Ava]

I agree, sounds like the leader doesn't feel comfortable with parents around. however, anyone who isn't comfortable with me being with my child sends major red flags.

While I understand what you mean, there could be valid reasons why the leader would prefer parents not be there. She's been running the troop since Sept, perhaps she's had bad experiences of kids being distracted or hard to control when their parents were there. Especially with young kids, they may tend to just hang on their parent the whole time & not participate in the meeting. I'm sure its difficult enough to get a group of 5-year-olds to sit down & have a discussion about honesty without the distraction of parents watching.

 

[kafitty]

i don't remember parents ever being at our Girl Scout meetings.

to each their own...but i can see it being a huge distraction for girls if their parents are there, regardless of subject matter.

 

[DVCBELLE]

When my DD started Daisies there were 2 troops at her school. Our troop leader is VERY laid back and our girls LOVE LOVE LOVE it. The other troop is very gung ho about EVERYTHING! We had our bridging ceremony with them and they had earned about 10 badges ON TOP of the petals. I can't fathom the time commitment they must give. She actually said to one girl when she was handing out badges - OOPS you can't have this one - you were sick that day. In our troop - all the badges go in a bag and aren't individually handed out so the girls don't get upset when they miss a badge - she also gives us something to do at home with them to earn the badge so in reality - we all get them anyway.

All of our troop parents have discussed how much we really appreciate the easy going attitude of our leader and that we signed up for fun - not stress. All of the moms belong to girl scouts b/c we each are in charge of one badge and we take a mother-daughter camping trip each fall to plan out the year.

It works for our troop and we all love it. I suppose the other troops are appalled at our laid back attitude.

My point is - you need to find a troop you are comfortable with. Girl Scouts can be a blast but you have to love your troop and leader and if you are not comfortable with her - I really think you should consider finding another troop!

 

[mousebymarriage]

I was my DD13 Girl Scout leader for 4 years (1 year of Daisys and 3 of Brownies). I have to say that we never had parents stay at the meetings, not because they weren't welcome, the parents in our troop dropped their kids and ran. Unfortunately, I felt like most of the parents thought of it as 2 hours of free babysitting and at Holiday time most of the parents were late picking the girls up because they were at the mall.

However, if I remember correctly the rules of the Girl scout councel stated that no adult or sibling could attend any trip/outing unless they were registered with the Girls Scouts. Also, all leaders had to attend training classes, it was mandatory. When registering for the trips I could swear that the registration forms stated "NO tagalongs".

 

[mrsbornkuntry]

I think it may be this particular leader. I was a Daisy Scout leader (daisy scouts is only for k-1). Instead of working on badges the girls work on petals. the petals each represent a part of the girl scout law. one of which is about lying and truth. it is likely that some children would not answer 'truthfully' if their parent were there.

my meetings were always ran in this format:

1 hour long
beg 10 mins practicing the girl scout promise, singing a song or two each girl telling the group something about the weekend.

next 15 mins was a craft related to that week's theme (we did something on george washington for the truth/lying petal)

next 15 mins was snack time and allowing the craft to dry.

10 mins discussing some of what the petal stood for or othjer activity related to the petal

5 mins-cleaning up

last 5 mins-freindship circle, singing make new freinds and 'getting out of the circle"

parents were welcome to stay but most chose not to and honestly, if you plan to stay for every meeting GS policy is that you ahve to register as a memeber/volunteer. it has to do with insurance and the safety of the other children. not just yours.

i once took my daisies on a field trip and a parent came to the nature center to pick up his daughter. but my records stated that all children were to be returned to the school. i was unable to release her to the parent as if something would ahve happened to the child (car accident, or whatever) i and the girl scouts could have been liable.

You may be saying to yourself that is ridiculous but it's true. So any parent that stays for more than one meeting or is not part of the event (we would often have parent/daughter teas, movie outings etc) then they would have to be registered.

Lara-former 7 year girl scout leader.

It has been about 9 years, but from what I remember this was also the format of DD's meetings when she was a Daisy. I can't remember if I registered or not, but I know I stayed for all of the meetings except one and I only left her for that one because she had been in for long enough that I felt comfortable enough to leave. I can't imagine leaving a 5 year old with someone that I don't even know.

OP, is there more than one leader there? Isn't that also a requirement (I can't remember, I might be confusing this with Cub Scouts)? I would think that with your DD being new the leader would have no problem with you staying, I would definitely be concerned. I would also think that if they were concerned with liability the leader would ask you to sign up, or at least explain that you can't stay unless you sign up. If she won't bend on this maybe you should find out if there is another Daisy troop in your area.

 

[MSSANDRA]

I would just talk to your DD when she gets home and see how it went. I first thought," oh no way would I leave her," but the Girl scout rules do make this sound more right.

See how it went and how you feel after that. 45.00 is not a lot to loose if this is not the right place for your family.

 

[ceecee]

I am a GS leader in my 9th year...I begged parents to stay, but most thought it was just an hour and half to two hours of free babysitting.
You should ask the leader if she needs any help, does she have a co-leader? Usually there are a lot of girls in the younger grades and I'm sure she could use the help. I did have one mom that almost made me lose it a few times, she kept insisting we do the same things her older daughter did in her troop. Down to not buying the Daisy vests!
The leader has had to have taken the age level training, background check and ABC training of GS so she should have a "basic" idea, but the first year or two it's a learning experience, maybe she is just getting into it a little too much. I don't think having most moms there (without younger siblings please!) would be a problem.
Keep in mind if you do plan on helping you will also need to do the training and be registered ($10 here for the year) this way you will be able to help with the troop.