I must confess...

[stashbin]

I must confess....last night I was getting my DD7's bookbag ready for school and realized she had a science project due this morning!
Since she was already in bed, I sent my husband to the store to get a poster board and I completed the project.
This morning I went over the whole thing with her so she knew about the topic and explained to her that mommy dropped the ball. So...my question is..
Has anyone else done this sort of thing? And if so, what is the most elaborate project you have completed WITHOUT your child so that he/she could get their grade?

 

[goodeats]

Wait, didn't your daughter drop the ball by not showing you the paper?

 

[DisneyAddict_M]

When I was in 3rd grade, I won first place in an art contest. My father did the entire poster for me (he's an artist). No one ever questioned how an 8 year old could draw so professional.

I haven't done anything like that for my daughter, but I have given her the answers on her homework assignments a few times just because I was too lazy to explain to her how to do it.

 

[swanmom]

I have a feeling this is gonna get interesting.....................

 

[MushyMushy]

OMG! You are SO BRAVE!

My confession -- I've rescued my kids from projects like that by allowing them to stay home from school the day it's due so they can get it finished.

I know, I know. Bad mom, what does that teach them, how will they learn responsibility, yada yada yada blah blah blah.

 

[stashbin]

Wait, didn't your daughter drop the ball by not showing you the paper?

No, I saw it the day it came home....it was all me.

 

[c4a]

I must confess....last night I was getting my DD7's bookbag ready for school and realized she had a science project due this morning!
Since she was already in bed, I sent my husband to the store to get a poster board and I completed the project.
This morning I went over the whole thing with her so she knew about the topic and explained to her that mommy dropped the ball. So...my question is..
Has anyone else done this sort of thing? And if so, what is the most elaborate project you have completed WITHOUT your child so that he/she could get their grade?

Psssst. I won't tell. Nor will I give you a sermon on "what did dd learn from this experience? Not just the school lesson, hmmm?" You already know that stuff as a mom or you wouldn't feel guilty.

Can't say I have done this. Helped? Sure. Too many times. And I can't say that she learned the project any better by making something...but she is a "read & learn" kind of kid...and I get it that not all kids learn that way. (Teachers trying to get 30 kids to learn in the best way for each kid...)

Perhaps getting dd a pocket calander that she can write her assignments in-according to due date would help? (Of course, she would have to remember to bring it home. And you would have to remember to check it with her.)That is what we do. And then I have a regular calender that I put the projects on at home...so I can keep up.(I am the sticky note queen!!! Between sticky notes & calanders...I keep 3M in business. )

 

[SharpMomOfTwo]

My oldest is only in pre-k, so maybe I don't know what I'm talking about, but personally, I think its your daughter that dropped the ball. I understand that she is young, but it was her project, and I'm sure it has been brought up in class several times.

I don't know whos "more right" - the ones that blame themselves for something like this, or someone like me, who think its the childs responcibility..... any thoughts?


Disclamer - I am not at all saying your a bad mother!!!!!

 

[SydneyBristow]

No, I haven't.

 

[freckles and boo]

I have screwed up. Most recently I tossed out a script my daughter was supposed to memorize. I sent a note, threw myself on the mercy of the teacher, got another script and worked with her on it. Things happen. Teachers understand.

 

[stashbin]

My oldest is only in pre-k, so maybe I don't know what I'm talking about, but personally, I think its your daughter that dropped the ball. I understand that she is young, but it was her project, and I'm sure it has been brought up in class several times.

I don't know whos a better mother - the ones that blame themselves for something like this, or someone like me, who think its the childs responcibility..... any thoughts?


Disclamer - I am not at all saying your a bad mother!!!!!

DD is 7...This is an age where in my experience has been challenging. Responsibility is being taught at home and at school, but in her defense...this is totally on me. When the entire weekend keeps the kid so busy that all she can think about is sleep on Sunday evening....yep, definitely me. I like the suggestion of the previous poster about the calendar. Also, the question posted was if you ever have done this for your child and if so, what was the most elaborate thing you have done.

 

[MushyMushy]

My oldest is only in pre-k, so maybe I don't know what I'm talking about, but personally, I think its your daughter that dropped the ball. I understand that she is young, but it was her project, and I'm sure it has been brought up in class several times.

I don't know whos a better mother - the ones that blame themselves for something like this, or someone like me, who think its the childs responcibility..... any thoughts?


Disclamer - I am not at all saying your a bad mother!!!!!

Oh, definitely the mothers who let their kids learn from their mistakes!

I know that when my kids were in elementary school, the teachers and administrators made it very clear to us that, up until a certain grade (3rd, I believe), it was up to us parents to check their backpacks and their agendas, which were provided by the school. The school had a policy of strong parental involvement in projects and homework.

I used to think it would be a good idea to let my kids turn in incorrect homework or unfinished homework so the teacher would know what they were missing, but NO. I was told in no uncertain terms that we were to give them the answers, and assist on projects.

So I can see where the OP is coming from. If it had been my kids' school, it would have been seen as the parents' fault if that project hadn't been done.

 

[TomLovesBecky]

We have never done ANY homework or projects for our kids. That is our rule...we want them to LEARN, so we don't short-circuit that process by doing their work for them. They have learned to be responsible and tell us about anything they need help with, or suffer the consequences with a failing grade. This policy takes effect by the time they are in 1st or 2nd grade, depending on the kid. At 5 or 6 sometimes they forget, of course. After that, there really isn't any excuse for a kid without other issues to drop the ball like this. I would have let my daughter take the zero, to teach her a lesson.

 

[jodifla]

I must confess....last night I was getting my DD7's bookbag ready for school and realized she had a science project due this morning!
Since she was already in bed, I sent my husband to the store to get a poster board and I completed the project.
This morning I went over the whole thing with her so she knew about the topic and explained to her that mommy dropped the ball. So...my question is..
Has anyone else done this sort of thing? And if so, what is the most elaborate project you have completed WITHOUT your child so that he/she could get their grade?

Frankly, from what I see, most of these projects are meant for the parents to do. When I see what's posted on the bullentin boards at my son's school, i know there is NO WAY a first-grader did them alone...or hardly at all.

The projects given to my son in 1st grade are things we didn't do until 3rd or 4th grade. THAT'S why parents have to step in...they just aren't age appropriate.

 

[stashbin]

We have never done ANY homework or projects for our kids. That is our rule...we want them to LEARN, so we don't short-circuit that process by doing their work for them. They have learned to be responsible and tell us about anything they need help with, or suffer the consequences with a failing grade. This policy takes effect by the time they are in 1st or 2nd grade, depending on the kid. At 5 or 6 sometimes they forget, of course. After that, there really isn't any excuse for a kid without other issues to drop the ball like this. I would have let my daughter take the zero, to teach her a lesson.

Even when the child can't drive themselves to the store and get what they need without the help of a very busy parent? Sounds like tough love to me.

 

[MushyMushy]

Even when the child can't drive themselves to the store and get what they need without the help of a very busy parent? Sounds like tough love to me.

Sounds more like tough crap, you're outta luck kid.

If I knew about the project on Friday and didn't take my kids to the store for it or give them time to do it, you can bet I wouldn't let them take a zero for it.

I'm so glad elementary school days are over. It was as much work for us as it was for them.

 

[Feralpeg]

Should you have done it? Probably not. Will I judge you for it? No way. As parents, we face difficult situations and sometimes we do thing for our kids that may seem like it is in their best interest even when it isn't really the right thing to do. What can we do? We love them and we are human. Don't beat yourself up over it!

 

[mjkacmom]

I definitely would not have done the assignment. However, I would've written a note to the teacher, explaining that I was also partially to blame, and let her know it would be turned in a day late, and then have my dd complete the assignment. An older child would've been on his or her own, but at 7, parents have some responsibility.

 

[stashbin]

Sounds more like tough crap, you're outta luck kid.

If I knew about the project on Friday and didn't take my kids to the store for it or give them time to do it, you can bet I wouldn't let them take a zero for it.

I'm so glad elementary school days are over. It was as much work for us as it was for them.

Well that is my point. The weekend was totally packed out with MY stuff and by the time Sunday night rolled around I realized I had dropped the ball. I didn't want DD7's grade to suffer because I can't keep it together all of the time.

 

[MaryAnnDVC]

Has anyone else done this sort of thing? And if so, what is the most elaborate project you have completed WITHOUT your child so that he/she could get their grade?

Nope, never. Three kids...two in college now, one a HS sophomore. The only thing I remember doing is cutting an iceberg out of styrofoam for DD's Titanic project in 5th grade (because she couldn't cut it herself, altho I even questioned that...perhaps she should have used a different material so that she could do it herself) and helping same DD in HS glue the letters onto her Science Fair poster, but the project and design of everything was already complete...she just told me where to glue. My kids are very independent, organized and (usually) very good at time management. Have never run into any big last minute homework/project issues. I think that's what made DDs going off to college and being on their own so much easier on them.