I must be completely out of touch, childs birthday party invite...

[usnuzuloose]

I would say they could make a registry, but only in the sense as so parents get an idea of what the child likes. But to say only 50 dollars, no way. I would not going to a party with having to put out money like that.

 

[LovesTimone]

So, this isn't even a close personal friend? It's a former coworker with whom you've kept in touch after moving away? You barely know the daughter & have seen the birthday girl all of ONCE since she was born?

This is even weirder than it sounded in the beginning.

The grandmother is my friend, we bonded when we were working together, as her DH is in the military and the move around a lot, and DH and I have moved a lot with his job. We try to get together once a month, she now lives about 3 hours away, so we meet in the middle somewhere. Her and I talked about the party at length before I got the invite over lunch one day, I have thought maybe she thought that she was obligated to have her DD invite us because we talked about it. So I don't really know why we got the invite. Like I said I was surprised to get it. I did let her know that we would be out of town that weekend, and she (grandmother my friend) was perfectly fine with it. I already mailed the RSVP back.

 

[Gumbo4x4]

Gotcha, at least that part makes more sense now

 

[jevs]

You're not out of touch or showing your age OP. That kind of party also exists over the 'ditch' but thankfully not with us

My kids usually get invited to pool parties, bowling parties, Maccas parties, trampoline parties etc. I understand why these parties are popular as they are hassle free however my guys LOVE parties in people's homes and running around their backyard

We've done a couple of birthday parties here but they drive me nuts. The last couple of years I've taken then away on their birthdays. And to be honest, I can't even remember having a party when they turned 3 apart from family.

 

[tink9702]

Parties around here do often have some sort of entertainment (bowling, swim party, bounce place etc.) but usually only have one type of thing going on. Most have included food and drinks for adults as well as the kids. The part that I find rude is the "don't get anything not on the registry". That's really rude IMHO. Having an amazon registry for the kids is common with my set of friends so that we can all tell grandparents/uncles/aunts ideas, not typically for friends & birthday parties but I have given that info when asked.

 

[ktlm]

Wow! That would be considered very rude where we live. We have some friends who have thrown some pretty lavish parties for their kids- one did have bounce houses and ponies, and another rented out an entire water park (the kind that typically costs $30 a ticket to enter)- but even at those parties the gifts brought are typically in the $20 to $30 range. Around here, parties are typically somewhere outside the home such as the bowling alley, skating rink, the dreaded Chuck E. Cheese, a local pizza and arcade place or others. The parties at someone's house have typically been pretty elaborate affairs- i.e. involving magicians or bounce houses, or one family did an amazing Hogwarts party with costumed adults as teachers and all sorts of activities and classes. When the kids hit about 3rd or 4th grade, the parties start scaling down to where a lot of them just invite a few friends for an old fashioned sleepover, or for maybe a movie at the theater and then pizza , playtime, cake and ice cream at the house, etc. I would say 85% to 90% of the gifts around here are in the $15 to $30 range, with some of the closest friends sometimes going higher- maybe $40 to $50. It would be rare for a gift other than from a family member to be $50 or more. We do have a specialty toy store in town that does birthday registries. I have never seen anyone be rude enough to say to only buy something from the registry-- that is rude to say in regard to a wedding much less to a kid's birthday party. The registry is nice because instead of paper, this store puts all the items the child has picked out in a basket or wagon and you can go in and just pull from what is there, and they are usually pretty good about getting a variety of price points- there are definitely times we take a look at what is there and then decide there is nothing we want to get and we go to another store, and I haven't thought twice about doing that. I think if I received an invitation with demands like that we would not be going to that party.

 

[Ava]

My older DD is 6, and parties here are typically either at the child's home, at a local park (if its a spring/summer birthday), or at a place like a bowling alley, skating rink, science center, etc. We didn't do a real party for her with friends until she was in preschool & turning 4. Prior to that we just had cake & presents with family. (Younger DD sort of got a joint party this year when she turned 2, since their birthdays are 9 days apart. I don't know what we're going to do when she actually has her own friends, lol.)

Personally I think the gift registry for a child's birthday party is tacky & I would be really turned off if I ever got one, especially if the least expensive thing on it was $50. We don't throw a party for our child because we expect gifts, we do it so she can celebrate her birthday and have fun with her friends. The gifts are secondary, and in our circle are usually small/inexpensive.

Side note: I also once overheard a mom at her son's birthday party say out loud to another guest (who I'm guessing commented on the large pile of gifts that had accumulated) that they let their son choose 5 birthday gifts to keep and then donate the rest. I thought it was tacky of her to say that out loud in the middle of the party. I'm all for charity and teaching your children about giving to others, and have donated gifts my kids got that were either duplicates or just unwanted, but I wouldn't announce that intention where the gift-givers could hear me. If you don't want gifts because your child has too much stuff already, just say "no gifts please" or ask for a donation to a charity that your child chooses in lieu of a gift.

 

[halfpintpeggy]

I really, REALLY just wish I could get a look at this 3 year old's birthday cake!

 

[Eastern]

I really, REALLY just wish I could get a look at this 3 year old's birthday cake!

I'm sure there is a smash cake in addition and it is $300.

 

[daughtersrus]

I think it's strange that the parents are inviting friends of the child's grandparents.

 

[Julylady]

This party is WAY out of line in my neck of the woods. Pre-school kids only have family parties where the parents serve a meal to invited family and maybe, a very close adult friend. The birthday child is given a gift between $15-25. No wish list is mailed out, although sometimes I will ask the parents if there is anything they would recommend. For school age kids, the kids often have two parties. One is a family party, but this one might be held at a place like a bowling alley or Chuckie Cheese. In our family, each family pays their own way for these events plus gets the birthday kid a gift. Alternatively, the party might be at the kid's home with the parents providing the meal. The older the kid, the more likely the event will be held at a restaurant rather than at home. Older kids are able to choose the restaurant. This continues until the kid is 14, then the parties stop although most of the aunts/uncles continue to give a gift until age 18. Since each family has about the same number of kids, the money spent evens out across the year. Sometimes both "sides" of the family are invited to these events which is typically fine since everyone gets along well. There 7 kids in our "family" and the birthdays are pretty evenly spaced out throughout the year so we would get together about every other month.

In addition, school age kids also have a "friends" party. The number of kids invited roughly matches the kids age. So if you are turning 8 years old, you can invite up to 8 kids. These parties can also be held in bowling alleys, bounce houses, chuckie cheese, but the "host" parents always foot the bill. Gifts tend to be in the $10-15 dollar range. And the birthday kid provides party favors to all the guests (about $5 each). As the kids get older, they tend to be "sleep over" parties, most often on Friday nights. I have hosted a couple of the sleep over parties (as a birthday gift to my nieces) and we probably spent about $100 including pizza/snacks, party favors, decorations and game prizes/accessories.

 

[eliza61]

These are the stories that make me glad my children and I were born in another time and generation.

1) it is a childs birthday party. WE are not trying to find a solution to the ISIS problem. seriously why is it now that vacations and parties HAVE to be an issues right up there with national security?

I just got an invite to a cousins 60th. It is a simple invite. no registries, no dollar amount nada. Simply "Denise is turning 60, let's party". rsvp regrets only and the address.

I'm sure she may get a duplicate item here or there. so what, does no one teach "its the thought that counts?" anymore. I'm picking her up a gift card to Bloomingdale's. if she shops there Hooray, if she doesn't that's on here.

Seriously, imo this whole morphing of birthdays into stress inducing events is imo crazy.

I'm retiring next year, I'm having my party in wdw. those who can make it great, those who can't, thanks for your well wishes.

Op, send your grandkid to the party. don't send a gift, just show up at the party. have a good time and go home.

 

[The Princess]

That is rude!! I WOULD NOT go to that party....and I would give whatever gift I wanted!!

 

[PatsGirl]

Hmmmm, and we wonder why some kids feel so entitled. General rule of thumb for a successful (ie., fun for the birthday child) party is to invite the number of guests equal to the age of the birthday. If the child is celebrating four, four children should be invited for a total of 5 at the party. Personally, we always kept it family only until school age and then we had larger parties occasionally, not every year, and should not be expected every year. I think I did a dress-up/nails party for my daughter in kindergarten with four of her friends. They came in their pjs but were picked up after a movie around 9 or so. There were other parties including skating parties and bowling parties but never more than a half dozen guests.

FWIW, my budget was $15 for kids' parties and never did I go by a list. If I or my child did not know the birthday kid well enough to pick out a gift for them, we/she/he did not attend.

 

[RangerPooh]

Not the norm that I've seen. As a parent I'd be appalled if my child brought home a party invitation like that.

When one of our kids was in preschool I did see a parent pass out invitations and a wishlist of gift items for an in class cake reception. I pointed this out to the teacher who knew that the mom had asked to pass out invitations, but assumed it was for a party date not the in class honoring. They removed the wishlist from the cubbies and had to explain to the mom that it was not practice. This mom wasn't aware of how things were done, and in her defense was new to the country.

 

[disneyjes]

Woooooow. Yeah, no. A birthday party is a celebration of the child's birth. A gift is nice but never required to attend. My son is 9 and knows to never expect a gift but if he gets one he should consider it a special surprise. There is no way I would ever, EVER create a "registry" for my child. Goodness. I would not go to that party at all!

 

[Shanti]

I just received an invite to my friends Grandchild's birthday party. She is turning 3, in January.

It was cute but formal, including a rsvp card, and separate card of where the child is registered for gifts, with a note at the bottom, to please adhere to items registered for only... I checked out the register's and the least expensive gift is around 50.00 dollars.

When I was talking to my friend she was telling me.( this was before I got the invite) That there will be a couple of those blow up, jumping house's, slides, pony rides and some kind of portable petting zoo, also other activities to keep the kids entertained.. But also an open bar and adult area with grown up food...

Is this the "new" kids birthday party?

I just don't know what to think... Thoughts

Yuck.

 

[scrapquitler]

I just received an invite to my friends Grandchild's birthday party. She is turning 3, in January.

It was cute but formal, including a rsvp card, and separate card of where the child is registered for gifts, with a note at the bottom, to please adhere to items registered for only... I checked out the register's and the least expensive gift is around 50.00 dollars.

When I was talking to my friend she was telling me.( this was before I got the invite) That there will be a couple of those blow up, jumping house's, slides, pony rides and some kind of portable petting zoo, also other activities to keep the kids entertained.. But also an open bar and adult area with grown up food...

Is this the "new" kids birthday party?

I just don't know what to think... Thoughts

I'd decline. I don't think that a three year old birthday party needs to include Grandma's friends and formal invites with an RSVP card.

 

[MrsTurnerLovesDisney]

YIKES!

We just did my daughter's 1st birthday party...very simple party hot dogs cupcakes no games or such (all the kid guests are 3 and under no point) and I did include a little wish list in her invites with clothing size and ideas like books and such. I felt weird doing the wish list a full on registry would blow my mind.

 

[mrsheppo]

My DD is 9 and we usually just do a party with family and maybe 2 of her friends. We will rent a bounce house and have a backyard barbeque. I can't imagine a birthday party on this scale for a 3 year old.