I must be completely out of touch, childs birthday party invite...

[NKHarris329]

Nope not normal at all.

I have a 2 and 4 year old. We keep an Amazon wish list which I'm happy to refer people to IF they ask (we live out of town from family, and this helps immensely for Christmas and Birthdays). For the birthdays themselves, we set them up at a local bounce house, get cake, drinks, and snacks, and call it a day. The kids run around like mad, the parents get to have fun with their kids or sit and chat.

That party sounds like a nightmare. I would politely decline.

 

[kymom99]

For practical reasons, I am not opposed to the registry. It is just an easy way to share ideas and avoid duplicates. However, the rest is ridiculous. I would decline the invitation.

 

[LovesTimone]

Can I ask what kind of $50+ items the family registered this child for? I just can't imagine.

Lots of learning toys, some kids type i-pad, hand held dvd players, lots of hand held electronic toys, some kinda car system for movies and games.

 

[LovesTimone]

OP Here

We are going to be out of town that weekend so I have filled out the RSVP card to go out in the mail. Checking the regrets column.

I will say that I was sorta surprised to get a invite, this is a friend I used to work with several years ago and we remained friends after we moved away, I have only met her daughter a few times, and once we all went shopping my DD and I and her DD and her about 5 years ago, and I have only seen her granddaughter once right after she was born. So I don't feel bad about not attending.

I just thought WOW for a 3 year old birthday party.
With the rsvp, I just thought you would either call or email your intent. It just the sheer size of the birthday party and all the stuff going on. I would think that the reason for the party or the child herself is going to get lost in all the 'stuff"

 

[jrmasm]

I guess since I live in NYC and have been to some pretty swanky kids parties I am use to it. We never did get any that said do not deviate from the registry but we have gotten registries for kids. At first I was aghast because I did not grow up in this type of world but my fiance informed me that when kids already have everything they want the registry makes it easier for the party goers. I actually appreciated not hearing oh sorry he already has this after the first one or two birthday parties for my fiance's nieces and nephews that I bought for.

Now some of them have these lavish birthdays and others do not. The rest of the family thinks the one who throws the 2 year old these crazy big parties is setting herself up for disaster when she gets older. The rest of them just have a small party at home but do indeed send RSVP cards so they can make sure there is enough food.

That's rude too.

 

[wilkeliza]

That's rude too.

I mean it wasn't like right when we gave the gift. It was usually when they had to come and ask for a gift receipt since more and more places won't even let you exchange anything. We now just include them if we aren't buying from a amazon gift list.

They weren't cheap gifts that you could just have several of. They felt bad that we had spent so much on something they already had.

 

[jrmasm]

I mean it wasn't like right when we gave the gift. It was usually when they had to come and ask for a gift receipt since more and more places won't even let you exchange anything. We now just include them if we aren't buying from a amazon gift list.

They weren't cheap gifts that you could just have several of. They felt bad that we had spent so much on something they already had.

I can't even imagine doing that!

 

[Luv Bunnies]

Personally, I think bridal and baby registries are great. When you're setting up a home or stocking up for a first baby, a registry is necessary and appreciated by family and friends. However, that's where I draw the line. If grandparents, aunts and uncles ask what your child would like for their birthday, you can certainly give them some ideas. To tell party guests what to buy for your child's birthday is beyond rude and presumptuous. If someone spends their time and money, and puts thought into giving a child a gift, parents should accept it graciously and be thankful that people love their child. If they get duplicates or something their child won't play with or doesn't need, they can return it. Or better yet, donate it to a charity for kids who don't usually get anything for their birthdays.

 

[leebee]

I think for DD's 3rd birthday, she had cake, ice cream, and presents with her cousins.

I can't imagine being invited to the WEDDING of the granddaughter of a non-close friend, much less a 3 year old's birthday party. This is a huge gift grab, maybe a social event... NUTS. I don't give my siblings or nieces $50 gifts for Christmas- much less a stranger's 3 year old!

 

[srferson]

I mean it wasn't like right when we gave the gift. It was usually when they had to come and ask for a gift receipt since more and more places won't even let you exchange anything. We now just include them if we aren't buying from a amazon gift list.

They weren't cheap gifts that you could just have several of. They felt bad that we had spent so much on something they already had.

I can't even imagine doing that!

Really? I don't think it's a big deal as long one is polite and appreciative. Especially if it's family.
If I give someone a gift it's because I want them to have something they will enjoy. Not a duplicate of something they already have. If that means needing a gift receipt to get something else they'd like, it wouldn't really bother me.

 

[wilkeliza]

Really? I don't think it's a big deal as long one is polite and appreciative. Especially if it's family.
If I give someone a gift it's because I want them to have something they will enjoy. Not a duplicate of something they already have. If that means needing a gift receipt to get something else they'd like, it wouldn't really bother me.

It was indeed a family member. To be honest he didn't want to hurt our feelings and still gave us great big hugs and thanked us very much. His mom called us a few days after when they tried to exchange it and was told No at the 3 different stores they tried because they didn't have a gift receipt. There was nothing rude or crossing the line on it. I felt like there was nothing handled wrong in the situation. Now we are smarter and just include a gift receipt just in case.
I want someone to enjoy the gift I get them so I have no qualms with gift receipts. I would much rather them be able to exchange it for something else then let the $150 gift sit there unused because they already have one.

 

[jrmasm]

Really? I don't think it's a big deal as long one is polite and appreciative. Especially if it's family.
If I give someone a gift it's because I want them to have something they will enjoy. Not a duplicate of something they already have. If that means needing a gift receipt to get something else they'd like, it wouldn't really bother me.

Same here. That's why I always enclose a gift receipt with the card but never in a million years would I ask someone for one. Never.

 

[Bree]

Where do these people live? I'm new to my area and there are some extremely well off folks here (Bentley, Rolls Royce, Ferrari, etc. are some vehicles I see everyday....even parked at Target). I wouldn't be surprised if parties like that are the norm in their social circles.

 

[brooke789]

My two Kindergarteners bday party invites do usually come with a general wish list. I've only received one with an Amazon wishList and all of the others have just said stuff like 'likes Legos, art stuff, Shopkins'.

 

[havaneselover]

My two Kindergarteners bday party invites do usually come with a general wish list. I've only received one with an Amazon wishList and all of the others have just said stuff like 'likes Legos, art stuff, Shopkins'.

I can't imagine doing that. If I don't know the child well I will send an email asking the parent if they have any recommendations, but to me including a wish list is bad form.

 

[wishesuponastar]

Regarding the gift registry....When my middle daughter was about 7 or 8 in 2005, some of her friends were having a birthday party that included a gift registry to the toy store Learning Express (don't know if they are in business anymore). The birthday child would put their requested items in a bucket at the store and their friends coming to the party would have a chance to select things from the bucket for a present if they choose. There was no mention of demanding gifts from the registry. So one year, we did the gift bucket thing too but I have to say I really didn't like it but it was the "in" thing at the time.

 

[kollerbear]

Nope not normal at all.

I have a 2 and 4 year old. We keep an Amazon wish list which I'm happy to refer people to IF they ask (we live out of town from family, and this helps immensely for Christmas and Birthdays).

Love the Amazon wish list idea! Will definitely get that set up as our baby gets older since all members of our family are BIG on asking what someone wants. Which is nice, but it can be tiring to think of a list on the spot when asked over and over again.

Really? I don't think it's a big deal as long one is polite and appreciative. Especially if it's family.
If I give someone a gift it's because I want them to have something they will enjoy. Not a duplicate of something they already have. If that means needing a gift receipt to get something else they'd like, it wouldn't really bother me.

It was indeed a family member. To be honest he didn't want to hurt our feelings and still gave us great big hugs and thanked us very much. His mom called us a few days after when they tried to exchange it and was told No at the 3 different stores they tried because they didn't have a gift receipt. There was nothing rude or crossing the line on it. I felt like there was nothing handled wrong in the situation. Now we are smarter and just include a gift receipt just in case.
I want someone to enjoy the gift I get them so I have no qualms with gift receipts. I would much rather them be able to exchange it for something else then let the $150 gift sit there unused because they already have one.

Same here. That's why I always enclose a gift receipt with the card but never in a million years would I ask someone for one. Never.

I think in this case 1) it's family and 2) you KNOW that the present was very expensive, because you have one yourself ($150!). I'm very touchy about manners, but I think in this case knowing that a $150 gift from a family member is going to waste because the gift-giver forgot to include a gift receipt seems pretty absurd and a little flippant-- to let a $150 present go to waste almost seems kind of disrespectful to the gift-giver! Plus, again as a family member, it might be tough to hide that it's gone unused or was donated. If someone has the same book, movie, stuffed animal, etc.., I think that's a VERY different situation and agree that quibbling over wanting to return it could be pretty rude. But if I gave a present like that (really anything over $50), I would definitely hope that anyone would graciously speak up in that situation!! Especially because I don't always remember to ask for a gift receipt when I check out (most of my shopping is online, where it's not always straightforward), and therefore do often forget to include one when giving a present!

 

[wilkeliza]

Love the Amazon wish list idea! Will definitely get that set up as our baby gets older since all members of our family are BIG on asking what someone wants. Which is nice, but it can be tiring to think of a list on the spot when asked over and over again.







I think in this case 1) it's family and 2) you KNOW that the present was very expensive, because you have one yourself ($150!). I'm very touchy about manners, but I think in this case knowing that a $150 gift from a family member is going to waste because the gift-giver forgot to include a gift receipt seems pretty absurd and a little flippant-- to let a $150 present go to waste almost seems kind of disrespectful to the gift-giver! Plus, again as a family member, it might be tough to hide that it's gone unused or was donated. If someone has the same book, movie, stuffed animal, etc.., I think that's a VERY different situation and agree that quibbling over wanting to return it could be pretty rude. But if I gave a present like that (really anything over $50), I would definitely hope that anyone would graciously speak up in that situation!! Especially because I don't always remember to ask for a gift receipt when I check out (most of my shopping is online, where it's not always straightforward), and therefore do often forget to include one when giving a present!

We don't make a habit of giving them expensive things but he got something that much because we missed 2 Hanukkahs and a birthday so we were like heck lets spoil the kid!

 

[kollerbear]

We don't make a habit of giving them expensive things but he got something that much because we missed 2 Hanukkahs and a birthday so we were like heck lets spoil the kid!

EXACTLY!! My DH and I will sometimes make much-bigger-than-normal purchases for people one year, out of the blue--esp. if we've missed birthdays or if they've had a tough year or whatever. Especially when you're going above and beyond, for whatever reason, it's nice to know that the gift was used and appreciated! For the $18 book and $35 necklace I got my sister this year? Eh. You can ask for a gift receipt (I wouldn't be upset at all because it's my sister!) but I wouldn't be upset knowing that she just rarely wears the necklace, or regifted it, or never read/regifted the book.

 

[wilkeliza]

EXACTLY!! My DH and I will sometimes make much-bigger-than-normal purchases for people one year, out of the blue--esp. if we've missed birthdays or if they've had a tough year or whatever. Especially when you're going above and beyond, for whatever reason, it's nice to know that the gift was used and appreciated! For the $18 book and $35 necklace I got my sister this year? Eh. You can ask for a gift receipt (I wouldn't be upset at all because it's my sister!) but I wouldn't be upset knowing that she just rarely wears the necklace, or regifted it, or never read/regifted the book.

I see we are very close to the same age so maybe that has something to do why it is no big deal to us? I know social norms are different for us than previous generations.