I miss my *kids*

[CathrynRose]

Are there any other parents of teen's who miss their 'babies'???

It was hard enough as my now 17 started spending time with friends. He wasnt interested in family game nights, or movies with us anymore.

But I had my youngest son.... So I could cope.

But he's 13 now, and with friends, and isn't as excited just to do silly things he used to do.

Last night, I used to play this game with him, and we'd name call each other (see teasing thread ) Nothing bad - but we'd go back and forth.

Whatever Chicken Butt.
Okay Hot Dog Toes.

Just silly, and back and forth until one of us ran out, then the other one, "won".

Last night I attempted to call him a name, and I got this:

What is THAT???

THEN - this morning, I said to him "I need to go grocery shopping, want me to pick you up from school, and we can go?"

Remember when going anywhere with you, anywhere at all, was the most exciting thing to happen, ever???? Like a dog - heck yeah they wanted to go with!!!

He looked at me like I'd grown another head. And answers, as if not to upset the crazy person asking insane questions "Uhhh - no"

I miss my *kids*. My husband playing the name calling game, wont be the same. And Charley cant talk.

No wonder the Duggar mom keeps having them.

 

[momto2girls]

I'm not there yet, but I know it is coming and I am seriously depressed about it. My oldest is 8.5 and I know that in a few years she won't be my little girl anymore. I can't stand the thought of it. I really, really love having young children.

Big hugs to you!

 

[eliza61]

I miss when my kids were smaller. I do not miss the teen stage they are going through. My 17 year old absolutely will not get serious about college, I've been fighting tooth and nail to get him to freakin fill out a application.

My teen niece is on a rampage because we refuse to buy her a $600 louie vutton bag like all her other friends (according to her)

My youngest (15) is cool.

They are all good students and generally good kids but boy, they are driving me crazy lately.

Even a simple 'would you walk the dog" gives me major attitude.

No way would I have any more.

 

[babytrees]

ohhh...I so do too. Don't get me wrong, I love them as they are now (16 & 12) but I miss the cuddle bunnies and those girls who would tell me everything. The whiney, eye rollers have replaced them. I keep thinking "When the heck did they grow up?"

 

[justjulie]

CathrynRose:

My boys are exactly the same ages as yours and yes, I miss them. I survived Teenager #1 knowing I had the younger one - now I have Teenager #1 and Teenager #2 and, well, being the only girl in the house it's kind of crushing when they no longer need you - except for food and laundry LOL!

My 17 year old is getting ready to go off to college and the 13 year old is attempting to move up in the pecking order - where, oh where did the days of hanging out with Mom go?

 

[Belle2667]

I hear you loud and clear!

My DS17 is never home. Between work and the girlfriend, we almost forget what he looks like! I was telling him the other day how "your almost 18 and it seems like yesterday I brought you home from the hospital" and I was so upset. He just thought I was weird.

Then my "baby", DS13, doesn't want to do anything with us anymore and the 'tude?!?! Funny how that attitude seems to multiply the further down the line the kids go.

I am getting serious empty-nest and it's scary. BUT....I will survive (I hope!)

 

[SleepyMom]

Are there any other parents of teen's who miss their 'babies'??? :

Yeah, and to make it worse right now I am in the process of transferring the old VHS tapes to DVD. Seeing them so young and doing all their cute little things does not help the situation.

With DD15 I never know "which" kid I will be dealing with each day, most days (thankfully) she is still DD, but there are other days when I wonder who she is and how she got into my house

 

[CathrynRose]

It really stinks. I dont know if Im glad Im not alone - or sad for all you, too.

Remember if you had to go somewhere without them, you could hear them still crying, as you left???

I could be gone for weeks. No one would know.

 

[cheermom1]

yep same here except that mine went together they were 14 months a part to the day almost to the hour they are almost 16 and almost 15

however I have three stepsons but the oldest is 13 then the 12 then the 9 and they are sooooo boys they will not do any of the little boys things at all anymore

my oldest 16 she is the biggest handful ever attitude and eye rolling have replaced my sweet little angel that would want me to hold her and take her pic.

I feel for ya op!!!!

 

[CathrynRose]

CathrynRose:
where, oh where did the days of hanging out with Mom go?

I do not know!

I thought I the 13 y/o back, one Saturday afternoon. I asked him to run to the mall with me, then we could get lunch. He called around (apparently looking for a better Saturday afternoon offer ) and eventually settled on me.

Well, we get there - and gosh golly look!!! It's his friends!!

"Can I go with them? Sarah's Dad will give us a ride home"

Sure - I guess....but what about lunch?

Oh - can I have some money? Ill get something here.

 

[Pooh's Pixie]

My DS11 is just starting to have some attitude. Not bad, but it is like I see flashes of the future. It's a bummer. I felt like that this fall, because my baby went off to Kindergarten and as much as I like the freedom, I miss having her with me to do stupid stuff. I am trying to learn to enjoy each stage, and mostly I do, but it is hard to see them leave you, little by little.

 

[punkin]

My 16 yo "baby" still occasionally hangs out with me (even sits on my lap sometimes), but it is hard to juggle friends, boyfriend, and school while still having time for Mom.

My 10 yo "baby" won't even give me the time of day. She is too busy. She does find time to sit and watch football with Daddy though.

 

[ozarkmom]

Oh I say this all the time. Where oh where did the years go? My "baby" is 17 and he has no interest in doing things with us. My little girl is 19 and she will go shopping with me if I'm going to buy her something. She also will walk with me sometimes if she doesn't have something better going on. My 22 yr old son is in college and I hardly ever get to see him. Yes I miss my babies.

 

[Sandy V.]

I gotta tell all of you - hang in there!! They never really leave if you've established a close loving relationship with them.

Ours are 21 and 18 and in college. The 21 year old is in SWEDEN for the semester and she writes, chats, or Skypes us every day because she misses us and is very grateful for her opportunity there. I miss her so much because she used to call me from school every day, and now my cell phone never rings.

The 18 year old is a college freshman and he is coming home TODAY for the weekend after being back at school for a few weeks because he "misses home".

Love them, support them, discipline as needed, deal with them pulling away as best you can, and I promise, they'll come back to you!! Actually, they never really leave.

 

[Cool-Beans]

I know exactly what you're talking about. It's sad.

It's especially sad that you don't just LOSE the kid, you gain a TEEN.

One day they're your normal kid, the next day you ask how school went and get "WHY do you have to ask me that EVERY day when you KNOW I don't want to talk about it?!" ...and you're like, "Oh, I see you are now a teen. I didn't get the memo. Excuse me while I go cry into my pillow."

But the little kid never comes back. I'd give anything to have them all back as little ones.

 

[marciemi]

Oh boy, OP, I was just saying this exact same thing to a friend yesterday!

We were watching some old family videos of our Disney trip in 1997 this past weekend (back when my boys were almost 2, 4, and 5) and I was saying that if I could have just one wish in the world, it would be to go back in time and just have those 10 days or so again. I know I would be exhausted quickly, but wow, I just feel like I didn't enjoy it enough (and I know it was hard) and didn't appreciate what I had then.

Watching the video it's sad, because say on the jungle cruise, my husband filmed pretty much the entire thing. Yeah, the ride's great and all, but there's about a 2 second burst of him panning in on my then-5-year old and saying hi, while he replies (with missing teeth) in a high squeeky voice "HI DADDY!" Then another zoom in on the 2 year old sleeping on my shoulder and forcing his eyes open every couple seconds to see what was going on. Those are the parts that I wish he'd filmed the whole time - forget the ride!

And boy - your next post! Again, I just said the exact same thing. My friend (with younger kids - hers are like 9-13) was complaining that she couldn't even sit down on the computer without someone needing her or whining for attention. I was like "Wow. My kids would be glad to come home, go in their rooms, and never have to see me at all!"


I think I knew the "good old days" were officially over about 3 years ago. My youngest, then 10 and really into golf, was whining, for about the zillionth time about wanting to go to the driving range. I was DIS'ing on the computer and didn't feel like leaving. He insisted I could just bring the laptop since they had wifi at the driving range and just sit there and DIS while he golfed. His exact quote? "All you need to do is drive and pay!" Ah yes, the story of my life these days!

 

[momto2girls]

I know exactly what you're talking about. It's sad.

It's especially sad that you don't just LOSE the kid, you gain a TEEN.

One day they're your normal kid, the next day you ask how school went and get "WHY do you have to ask me that EVERY day when you KNOW I don't want to talk about it?!" ...and you're like, "Oh, I see you are now a teen. I didn't get the memo. Excuse me while I go cry into my pillow."

But the little kid never comes back. I'd give anything to have them all back as little ones.

This thread is making me cry. My two are still fairly little, but I know that my time with them is going fast. I wish that they could stay little.

 

[Robmom]

I miss my DD (16) too. She's always out with her friends, or is online or is texting on her phone. We don't do anything together anymore. And everything I say to her, she acts like I'm bothering her. And the eye rolling - don't get me started on that! She does have a little soft streak, like I will tell her that I love her, and she will say she loves me back, but kind of sarcastically. But I know she's just trying to look cool. Little do they know that it really isn't cool. Now, I have my DS (3), so I have some time with him.

 

[dec5girl]

It really stinks. I dont know if Im glad Im not alone - or sad for all you, too.

Remember if you had to go somewhere without them, you could hear them still crying, as you left???

I could be gone for weeks. No one would know.

Yes they would! They wouldn't have any clean clothes, nobody would help them when they said "Where's my..............", and they would starve to death without all your famous crock pot meals!

 

[Amy&Dan]

Yes, I too can relate! My kids are 14 (son) and 12 (daughter). They are still not at that all out teen thing yet, but I see my son getting there more each day. Lots of time listening to his MP3, lots of time in his room with the door shut and a lot of time spent doing homework. Gone are the days when he'd come home from school and we'd talk all about his day. I always volunteerd in elementary and so I knew his teacher, his classmates, I'd see him many days while I was at school. Now I drop him off and don't see him for 7 or 8 hours! In some ways its nice, I feel like I've gotten a little bit more of myself back but I miss having my little guy. Who adored me and thought I was the best! My daughter at 12 is still very much my girl, but that's slipping away too. She and I had a movie night set a few weeks ago and she got invited to a sleepover and I got dropped like a hot potato! But that's okay. I got to watch Sex in the City by myself!

Its sad and so often in the mornign after they leave, I feel this total sense of loss. I was watching a video of us at Disneyland several years ago, and there was my son, holding my hand, smaller than me (he's a couple of inches taller now) looking up at me with that look I don't see anymore. I have to say, I cried!