I hope this is ok to post

[Planogirl]

Why don't you sit down with your child and talk about your feelings on the subject? These questions will be asked and the teacher had the choice of explaining in likely minute detail or telling the child that she would not answer the question. I don't really like the idea of refusing to answer the question.

 

[IDoDis]

When my DD was in the 7th grade a number of topics were covered in her health class including sexually transmitted diseases (with photos of male body parts covered in scabs), birth control, abortion (with photos of aborted fetuses), eating disorders (with a video from a daily talk show showing a severely on the fringe of death bulimic girl eating and then throwing up in a trash can)... You name it, it was discussed liberally.

I had a hard time with some of that info going out to 12 and 13 year olds, but at the same time I knew kids had access to the internet and could find out all of that info on their own. My main gripe is that parents were not made aware of everything that was going to be covered and I felt some of it went a bit over the top. I probably had a valid complaint to file with the school that may have gotten the teacher into some hot water, but my DD took things well and said she had heard of these things already and it was better to hear the truth than the things kids come up with on their own.

 

[autumnpalm]

I do not really have an opinion on this, I just saw the thread and knew I would finally get to see when people say, that people get "ugly" in sharing their option on a topic on the boards. That's all, everyone have a wonderful weekend...

Really? I have to say I've found this topic to be quite polite and respectful, even with so many different viewpoints. The DIS is a diverse place and while there are bound to be disagreements, I would not call this an "ugly" thread!

Thanks to everyone for sharing their opinions, I always learn something new and learn to re-evaluate my own perspectives each time I log on here!

 

[Mickey's Minion]

For the most part children will repeat what they have heard and while kids might raise the issue, I don't want abortion presented as the only option, the best option, or in my beliefs "an" option.

Unfortunately for some of a different belief, it is a perfectly legal option and that cannot be ignored.

So, kudos to you for discussing your family's views on the subject and how it may differ from others with your children.

That is how it should work in life. Kids are going to hear different information in school, sports, anywhere they go.

It is so important for the family to discuss their beliefs and why within their family unit and how it may differ from what other's believe or say.

Personally, and your mileage may vary, I want my kids to hear the different viewpoints on as much as possible. That way I can address what they heard and why we agree or don't agree. A child with both sides of the picture has more confidence in their beliefs than a kid who is sheltered from different viewpoints because they are equipped with knowledge of both sides and can successfully answer why they believe the way they do.

 

[DisMN]

Yes, I have talked with them *kids 10 and 12 at home* and more than once.

Wonderful!!

And now please let me apologize for coming off pretty strong in this thread. I was raised by very religious parents and I was given virtually NO information about bodies, sex or relationships between boys and girls. I mean none. Sex and the workings of the human body did not exist in our home when I was growing up.
To that end what my folks neglected to tell me or teach me led to some serious trouble as a teenager and some very disfunctional decisionmaking on my part. They did me a huge disservice by their prudish attitudes and behaviors.

Their lack of giving me the knowledge I needed to have so I could make educated decisions leads me to have particularly strong opinions on the matter of sex ed. LOL

Please forgive me if you thought I was judging you. I wasn't....I was just hoping to urge (begging perhaps?) parents to have honest talks with your children about these issues.

(FYI My mom and I have talked about how it was in our house when I was growing up. She has said how much info she could have given me but chose not to and how much she regrets keeping so much from me and my sisters. My mom can now have these discussions and doesn't appear to be too uncomfortable about it. LOVE my mom. )

 

[lacrosse_lady72]

If one kid asked, it means many others likely were wondering also.

I remember in my sex education class... WAY back in the 5th grade (I'm getting old )... any questions that my friends and I felt like we needed to ask were usually asked by this one girl who was brave enough to actually ask it. I don't remember what questions we asked her to ask but my point is... I agree with the above.

 

[bumbershoot]

...she was just taken by surprise and the topic got away from her.She said she will not be talking about it again.When I asked my son what HE thought it was he said "a form of birth control" because that is what they were learning about.I had to sit him down an explain it was not.

It would be interesting to see if the person that asked the question came away thinking that it was a form of birth control. Because honestly it sounds more like your son was zoning and not paying full attention, and perhaps just didn't hear the whole thing.

And I don't say that in any way against your son...I just remember what it was like in our sex ed class, where you just sort of didn't want to hear it at all b/c it was embarrassing, and I'm pretty sure we ALL took away different understandings when our ears had been present for the entire thing. And that was in a segregated sex ed class, let alone dealing with the embarrassment of a coed class!

 

[Dismagic1]

I am a little upset at my ds12 teacher...not for any reasons you may think.He came home with a form for A SEX ED CLASS so I signed it of course because I am ok with that.....well.....the teacher discussed abortion with the class! Let me say I am not one of those anti abortion people,I dont believe in it but its not my buisness if someone chooses that BUT I do not want my kids learning this in school or thinking its a form of birth control.I spoke to the teacher calmly and in a very nice way and she said it was NOT part of the class but a student asked about it so she talked about it.I just told her my thoughts and let it be,its her class but I wish he had not learned that in school.would you want your child to learn about this? I am not calling the principal or anything but it just bothered me.OK GOT THAT OUT hahaha PSA: this is NOT a abortion debate...

It is an appropriate topic as long the teacher isn't expressing his/her own beliefs as to whether you should or shouldn't. If the teacher is just explaining what it is, then I don't see a problem with that.

 

[gina2000]

All we've been told is that the son conveyed to his mother that the teacher said "it's a form of birth control" which the teacher concurs was said. There's a lot more that was probably said by the teacher and possibly misconstrued by the student, and ultimately upset the parent (and that's why this thread exists).

I just don't get it. I guess we need to script everything a teacher says with parental approval stamped on the front of each and every monologue (which it would have to be so that no inappropriate deviation would occur) before it is read to the student.

 

[Freyja]

I am surprised that the teacher wasn´t going to talk about abortion. IMHO it is a very relevant topic in Sex Ed and one I definitely want discussed with my children.

 

[Mickey's Minion]

I think it's an inappropriate topic for sex ed class if the teacher is not prepared for it.

I don't think we can determine whether the teacher was not prepared for the question or not.

We are only privy to information given to us about a conversation between an upset parent and a teacher who was trying to answer the parent's concerns about a topic she felt inappropriate.

I, for one, cannot imagine a teacher in today's day and age, not being prepared for a question on such a prominent topic such as abortion during a sex ed class.

 

[OceanAnnie]

I don't think we can determine whether the teacher was not prepared for the question or not.

We are only privy to information given to us about a conversation between an upset parent and a teacher who was trying to answer the parent's concerns about a topic she felt inappropriate.

I, for one, cannot imagine a teacher in today's day and age, not being prepared for a question on such a prominent topic such as abortion during a sex ed class.

The teacher told the OP she wasn't prepared.

ETA- I could be wrong, but it appears that some are being selective in what they want to believe. The OP stated abortion wasn't on the agenda for the class, and the teacher stated she wasn't prepared for that question. The OP also stated the teacher felt like the topic wasn't conveyed properly. I don't know what can't be determined from that.

 

[gina2000]

We know the topic wasn't conveyed properly to at least one student. The OP's son came home with a garbled understanding of the issue.

We know the teacher wasn't prepared to answer the question. Teachers generally think swiftly on their feet and while we know the teacher may not have conveyed information as well as a prepared response would have been, we do not know if the response was inappropriate or inaccurate.

In my opinion, however, none of this should elicit panic or frustration on the part of the parent. It should be used as an opening for discussion and understanding of the subject as well as a discussion of family morals and ethics concerning the topic.

Quite frankly, I'm not being selective at all...I am merely drawing my own conclusions based on the sketchy information provided.

 

[WDWFWfan]

Oh, I understand what you mean! I would not want it presented as a viable form of birth control either, which is why I do plan on educating my children at home. When I referred to education in my earlier post, I was referring to the explanation of what abortion is, its risks and effects, things like that. I wasn't directing it at you, sorry if it came across that way!

No problem...

Unfortunately for some of a different belief, it is a perfectly legal option and that cannot be ignored.

So, kudos to you for discussing your family's views on the subject and how it may differ from others with your children.

That is how it should work in life. Kids are going to hear different information in school, sports, anywhere they go.

It is so important for the family to discuss their beliefs and why within their family unit and how it may differ from what other's believe or say.

Personally, and your mileage may vary, I want my kids to hear the different viewpoints on as much as possible. That way I can address what they heard and why we agree or don't agree. A child with both sides of the picture has more confidence in their beliefs than a kid who is sheltered from different viewpoints because they are equipped with knowledge of both sides and can successfully answer why they believe the way they do.

I am a firm believer in knowing not only what you believe, but why. I have traveled the long road from atheism to complete faith in a sovereign God; as such, I do not fear information, only the misrepresentation of truth...namely relativism.

BTW, you make a good case for teaching creationism as an alternative "theory."

Wonderful!!

And now please let me apologize for coming off pretty strong in this thread. I was raised by very religious parents and I was given virtually NO information about bodies, sex or relationships between boys and girls. I mean none. Sex and the workings of the human body did not exist in our home when I was growing up.
To that end what my folks neglected to tell me or teach me led to some serious trouble as a teenager and some very disfunctional decisionmaking on my part. They did me a huge disservice by their prudish attitudes and behaviors.

Their lack of giving me the knowledge I needed to have so I could make educated decisions leads me to have particularly strong opinions on the matter of sex ed. LOL

Please forgive me if you thought I was judging you. I wasn't....I was just hoping to urge (begging perhaps?) parents to have honest talks with your children about these issues.

(FYI My mom and I have talked about how it was in our house when I was growing up. She has said how much info she could have given me but chose not to and how much she regrets keeping so much from me and my sisters. My mom can now have these discussions and doesn't appear to be too uncomfortable about it. LOVE my mom. )

No problem, sometimes out of fear parents end up doing a disservice to their children. That is sad, I have no problems having frank discussions with my children about sex. I teach that is a beautiful and natural act within the confines of biblical marriage.

Having said that, I am going to remove myself from this discussion as I fear that it might approach an area that not everyone is comfortable in discussing. Peace to all!

 

[Magpie]

So, if I understand the OP correctly...

1. The teacher was not prepared for the question.

2. The teacher feels she handled it badly.

3. The teacher has decided that she will refuse to answer the question, if it comes up again in the future.

That seems quite unfortunate. I would rather the teacher had prepared a concise factual answer for any future questions, rather than hiding her head in the sand.

But regardless, the fact remains that teachers are human and they make mistakes. Your children should know that not *everything* their teacher tells them will be true. They need to learn to evaluate what they hear.

Case in point... When my children were in kindergarten, the French teacher once told the entire class that, "Down is the fur baby birds have before they grow feathers."

Since the class was studying "what is a mammal, what is a bird" in class, I alerted the homeroom teacher that there might be a problem here.

When the French teacher left, the homeroom teacher asked her class, "Do baby birds have fur?"

Despite the fact that the class had been told many, many times over the past week that "mammals have fur or hair, birds have feathers", almost the whole class stuck their hands in the air and said, "Yes! Down the fur baby birds have before they get feathers!"

The rest of the class just looked confused.

The homeroom teacher spent the rest of the afternoon trying to convince her class that down is not fur, and birds only have feathers. Some of them flatly refused to believe her.

BTW - I'm a big supporter of homeschooling, whether or not your children actually attend school outside the home. I've homeschooled part time and full time, but there's never been a time when I haven't been teaching my kids.

 

[Mickey's Minion]

BTW, you make a good case for teaching creationism as an alternative "theory."

I would have absolutely no problem with creationism being discussed and how it is believed by some as an alternative religious theory to evolution.

I think it important to introduce subjects that may be controversial, whether religion or abortion or any other subject. Understanding different points of view only makes for a more tolerant person and that is what I want most for my children, that they are respectful and tolerant of other's beliefs, even if they are diametrically opposed to our own.

That is why "I" think abortion or any other sexual topic that the kids want to discuss is relevant in a sex ed class. I want them to be able to have open discussions with anyone they choose. I want them to suck up any and all information on any topic they want. I am not afraid of information they may learn nor afraid they may choose to believe it. My kids are free to develop their own belief systems and they don't have to be our little clones.

I respect the OP's decision to limit her son's knowledge of abortion. But then opt out of a sexual education class where abortion might be discussed as a legal option for pregnant women. I know it was not on the curriculum, but I also stand by my previous statement that in any class in school, you cannot expect a curriculum to be followed 100%. You cannot control the questions children ask and as teachers, they should answer questions posed to them in the most unbiased way possible. I think it reasonable to assume that in a sex ed class, a question might be asked about abortion since it is so out there in the news, on billboards, on buses, etc.

I will also bow out of this conversation as it is slipping more and more towards subjects the DIS does not want discussed; religion and abortion.

 

[LaurenLC]

I think a sex- Ed class in an appropriate place for a child to learn about abortion. I haven't read through the entire thread, but I don't see what the issue is.

 

[CharliNye]

ok I think some people are just not reading the whole post...it has NOTHING to do with KNOWING about abortion...it was talked about in the form of birth control which I do NOT want them thinking.My kids are not snowflakes people...they run around the neighborhood and play on their own, I let them go places without me and I dont gripe their teachers out for telling little jonny about our surprise wdw trip! I just simply was not ok with learning about abortion as birth control...my kids know about sex,we have had the talk ect ect....I do not hover at all but even though I am PRO CHOICE I think it is MY choice to let my child know it should be a fail safe for sex...they need to know to use protecting so they dont die from HIV.They need to know if you have sex you have to be safe, and YES I think there is a aftermath for people that choose abortion.They need to know these things and not just have a word like abortion just tossed out.This is a 1 week class,plenty of time to not brush over the details if this is what they want to teach.

I one hundred percent understand what you are saying, and I think I have the perfect answer for you.

Being the parent of a just turning 13 yr old son, let me say this: What was actually said in class and what HE told YOU were probably completely different things.

Meaning, he came away telling you abortion was birth control. And probably in his 12 yr old mind, a discussion that was about birth control turned question about abortion could have confused him enough to not have a full grasp on what the teacher was saying.

So instead of being upset with thinking she may have led them to believe this, talk to him, because he may not have fully understood the conversation( my son does this All the time, I swear it's the pubescent male brain) and maybe asked a friend who gave him his version of what went down.

See what I'm saying? She probably and more then likely didn't lead these kids to believe it was a main form of birth control, they just didn't have a firm grasp of what it really was and the circumstances surrounding it.

And it's true kids really do interpret things their own way at this age, we can say one thing to my son and he repeats it to someone else his own(and wrong) way. Case in point: " C can you please ask your dad(my ex) if he can call me right away there's a problem with your prescription. I need to talk to him ASAP". Hours go by, I call his dad, he tells me" Oh C just said you called and that was it, he never mentioned the above". Uh huh. Yup. That's a 12 yr old boy for you.