I hope this is ok to post

[NAB]

I remember this subject being talked about when I was in school and that was a Catholic School which is very anti abortion. So no I wouldn't have a problem with it.

Kids are way to ahead of us on the sex part these days. 12-13 years old are totally different then when I was 12.

 

[livie1205]

I guess we will all just have to agree to disagree....

 

[BCDisneyFanatic]

I did not yell at her or put her down.....and no I will never tell my children that it is a form of birth control, when I do explain to them in detail it will not be in that context.
abortion in general it is not something they should take lightly or in place of birth control in any way, I will not feel bad for feeling that way.she was caught off guard she did not explain it well and all he learned is that "it was a form of birth control" thats why it should not have been talked about, if they wanted to add it to the material and inform parents then spend a certain amout of time explaining what it was and the aftermath of doing something like that then fine,inform the parents and do it right.

What is your definition of birth control? While abortion does not (obviously) prevent pregnancy, it does end one. What other context is there to explain abortion?

What is the 'aftermath' of having an abortion? I would probably have more of a problem with that being discussed, since it would be based on subjective opinion rather than fact.

 

[OceanAnnie]

The point is not if I agree with abortion,it was not on the approved material for this class that they sent home.This is simply something I would like to talk to my kids about in a parental setting, it does have alot to do with our own thoughts on the subject. They sent a letter explaining all the material they were allowed to discuss,the teacher was caught off guard and didnt know how to handle the question.I did not yell at her or put her down.....and no I will never tell my children that it is a form of birth control, when I do explain to them in detail it will not be in that context.
abortion in general it is not something they should take lightly or in place of birth control in any way, I will not feel bad for feeling that way.she was caught off guard she did not explain it well and all he learned is that "it was a form of birth control" thats why it should not have been talked about, if they wanted to add it to the material and inform parents then spend a certain amout of time explaining what it was and the aftermath of doing something like that then fine,inform the parents and do it right.

I understand how you feel.

 

[daisyduck123]

I have a DS12....no, it would not have bothered me.

With all that is on television, I'm sure he did not hear anything he hasn't heard before anyway.

 

[Magpie]

I've taught sex ed for this age group! There's always at least few in the class who watch shows like "SVU" and "Criminal Minds" at home, so they can be counted on to bring up some pretty hairy topics.

During our birth control class, a child volunteered that some people use abortion as birth control, and immediately another child replied that abortion murders babies. I told them that abortion ends a pregnancy. But not everyone agrees on exactly when an embryo becomes a baby, and there are difficult questions around what exactly is best for the individual pregnant woman. HOWEVER, one thing EVERYONE agrees on is that abortion is a very serious medical procedure, and it's not something anyone would choose to do for fun. So the best thing to do is not get pregnant in the first place.

Then I asked the class, "Who here can tell me how to prevent a pregnancy from happening?"

And then we covered different methods of pregnancy prevention, including abstinence. And we discussed methods to prevent implantation of a fertilized egg, too, which brought us briefly back to abortion.

Other classes covered STIs, fetal development, power issues in relationships, roles for men and women, the impact of advertising on our self image, and lots more.

I don't think your teacher did anything wrong here. When running a sex education class it is VERY important that the children feel safe to ask any question at all (we have an anonymous question box). And it's also important that they know that their questions will be answered, and that no one will judge them for asking.

I tend to fall back a lot on, "Some people believe A, and some people believe B. What you and your family believe is up to you, but just remember - in this classroom we have respect for everyone's beliefs."

 

[eliza61]

I am a little upset at my ds12 teacher...not for any reasons you may think.He came home with a form for A SEX ED CLASS so I signed it of course because I am ok with that.....well.....the teacher discussed abortion with the class! Let me say I am not one of those anti abortion people,I dont believe in it but its not my buisness if someone chooses that BUT I do not want my kids learning this in school or thinking its a form of birth control.I spoke to the teacher calmly and in a very nice way and she said it was NOT part of the class but a student asked about it so she talked about it.I just told her my thoughts and let it be,its her class but I wish he had not learned that in school.would you want your child to learn about this? I am not calling the principal or anything but it just bothered me.OK GOT THAT OUT hahaha PSA: this is NOT a abortion debate...

Sex education is always a hard issue to tackle in school. Like a previous poster said, what may be cool to me, others may find inappropriate.

As for my kids... My dh and I decided to make sex education and sexuality a normal part of our conversation with our kids from the time they were 6.
We taught them where babies came from, parts of the bodies, how to recognize inappropriate touching etc, etc. from early on
Since they grew up in NYC, we taught them about homosexuality, abortion and lots of other taboo topics.

I find that most kids can handle a lot of supposedly "taboo" topics when given at age appropriate times.
Now that they are teenagers talking about premariatel sex, aids, date rape, abortion is 2nd nature to them. They know they will always get truthfully information from us.

 

[Shyvioletisme]

I've taught sex ed for this age group! There's always at least few in the class who watch shows like "SVU" and "Criminal Minds" at home, so they can be counted on to bring up some pretty hairy topics.

During our birth control class, a child volunteered that some people use abortion as birth control, and immediately another child replied that abortion murders babies. I told them that abortion ends a pregnancy. But not everyone agrees on exactly when an embryo becomes a baby, and there are difficult questions around what exactly is best for the individual pregnant woman. HOWEVER, one thing EVERYONE agrees on is that abortion is a very serious medical procedure, and it's not something anyone would choose to do for fun. So the best thing to do is not get pregnant in the first place.

Then I asked the class, "Who here can tell me how to prevent a pregnancy from happening?"

And then we covered different methods of pregnancy prevention, including abstinence. And we discussed methods to prevent implantation of a fertilized egg, too, which brought us briefly back to abortion.

Other classes covered STDs, fetal development, power issues in relationships, roles for men and women, the impact of advertising on our self image, and lots more.

I don't think your teacher did anything wrong here. When running a sex education class it is VERY important that the children feel safe to ask any question at all (we have an anonymous question box). And it's also important that they know that their questions will be answered, and that no one will judge them for asking.

I tend to fall back a lot on, "Some people believe A, and some people believe B. What you and your family believe is up to you, but just remember - in this classroom we have respect for everyone's beliefs."

 

[MichelleVW]

The point is not if I agree with abortion,it was not on the approved material for this class that they sent home.This is simply something I would like to talk to my kids about in a parental setting, it does have alot to do with our own thoughts on the subject. They sent a letter explaining all the material they were allowed to discuss,the teacher was caught off guard and didnt know how to handle the question.I did not yell at her or put her down.....and no I will never tell my children that it is a form of birth control, when I do explain to them in detail it will not be in that context.
abortion in general it is not something they should take lightly or in place of birth control in any way, I will not feel bad for feeling that way.she was caught off guard she did not explain it well and all he learned is that "it was a form of birth control" thats why it should not have been talked about, if they wanted to add it to the material and inform parents then spend a certain amout of time explaining what it was and the aftermath of doing something like that then fine,inform the parents and do it right.

Ok, but a student brought it up and asked a question. What, in your opinion, should the teacher have done? Said, "Oh, we can't talk about that"

 

[mandylo]

I have a DD12 and it would not have bothered me. I understand how you feel, though. Hopefully the teacher's inability to fully explain will lead to an honest and open discussion between you and your DS.

ETA: I don't think the teacher did anything wrong here. I know it would be hard for me to not put my personal opinion out there, so I can see how she may have stumbled a bit.

 

[klacey1]

I think it was an appropriate question for the student to ask during a sex ed class, and would have no problem with the teacher answering the question. Actually, I'd probably be more upset if the teacher didn't answer the student's question because I would want the students to feel comfortable asking adults questions like that and not relying on information from their peers

Ok, but a student brought it up and asked a question. What, in your opinion, should the teacher have done? Said, "Oh, we can't talk about that"

Completely agree.

 

[*NikkiBell*]

I am a teacher and I think that you might want to start asking for the curriculum of these courses before you sign off on them. It will prevent any future surprises. Of course, if a child asks a question in such a course, I personally feel the teacher needs to provide information on that topic to the extent a child of a certain age can handle. I really doubt a full blown lesson on the ins and outs of abortion was given. The conversation was probably very short.

 

[Rora]

I think it's appropriate, especially seeing as a student brought it up. You can't expect everything that is talked about or taught in school to reinforce your family's personal beliefs. That's when communication and discussion at home come in. Abortion is not a happy topic by any means, but neither is Sex Ed.

I think this is a great post.

OP- I understand your frustration but I definitely feel like some at-home sex ed is in order, no matter what they receive in school.

 

[vettechick99]

I have very strong opinions about sex education. The more kids know, the better off they are. I will always tell DD the truth about sex (in her own language and at an appropriate pace).

You said your son came home confused about abortion. Are you saying the teacher said that abortion IS an appropriate form of birth control, or that people use it as one? There is a difference to me.

And when it comes to children, you can count on them to bring up every topic under the sun. You'd be shocked at what comes up at the first grade reading rug. Anyway, I can see why you are surprised, but shouldn't take it out on the teacher. Abortion is everywhere. I've seen aborted babies on the sides of trucks before.

Maybe next time she should put something on the form about random topics coming up - just so parents are informed that any and all topics may come up.

 

[ZephyrHawk]

It's a sexual education class. Among the relevant topics of discussion in such a class would be oral sex, homosexuality, transexuality, rape, statutory rape, date rape, date rape drugs, pedophilia (with or without reference to recent church scandals), the off camera antics of Tiger Woods, and yes....all forms of birth control from a simple condom to the extremes of hysterectomy. Education means not picking and choosing from the facts at hand. You think a 12 year old doesn't watch the news, or read articles online or talk with their friends on the playground? Forget horrible abortion baby photos held up by protesters, I'm more disturbed by the late spays you see on Emergency Vets (but would you stop your kids from watching a TV show about dedicated vetrinarians?). They know about most of these things already, but they know about them in an an incomplete and inaccurrate way. Better for them to be educated about it, if not by the parents who should be doing it, then by their teachers.

 

[Ember]

Sex ed is such a hard subject because you're dancing around topics that parents have such varying opinions on. You recognize that some students are very well informed and that this is nothing new to them, while others have little to no knowledge. (To those thinking, "but you teach grade one!" in our school we cover sex ed over two days splitting up the boys and girls in each class, so extra teachers are called in to help. I had the grade 5 girls.) It's a very touchy subject and the students will test to see if you're going to be honest.

If you get to questions and don't answer, then you've proved that you're not a source of information and that trust is broken. I tried to keep information as factual as possible and did try to keep all points of view in mind. I think the teacher did a great job, and am sorry to hear that next time there's a question on the subject, she'll refuse to answer it. Even if you don't agree with her, she has now opened up discussion on your own home for you to share your opinions with your child.

 

[a1tinkfans]

I am a little upset at my ds12 teacher...not for any reasons you may think.He came home with a form for A SEX ED CLASS so I signed it of course because I am ok with that.....well.....the teacher discussed abortion with the class! Let me say I am not one of those anti abortion people,I dont believe in it but its not my buisness if someone chooses that BUT I do not want my kids learning this in school or thinking its a form of birth control.I spoke to the teacher calmly and in a very nice way and she said it was NOT part of the class but a student asked about it so she talked about it.I just told her my thoughts and let it be,its her class but I wish he had not learned that in school.would you want your child to learn about this? I am not calling the principal or anything but it just bothered me.OK GOT THAT OUT hahaha PSA: this is NOT a abortion debate...

If one kid asked, it means many others likely were wondering also. And regardless of which side you are on, it is relevant to a sex ed class. In addition, I think that I'd rather my child hear it from an adult in a formal setting rather than out on the street with "Susie telling tales she heard thru Barb's sister", if you know what I mean.
By the way, the initial sex ed class my child had at that age was separated for boys and girls so the kids were comfortable Asking the questions, never a bad question in my mind Sorry it upset you but kids Are having sex, they Are having babies, better to Know then be "wondering about it".

 

[mhsjax]

I've taught sex ed for this age group! There's always at least few in the class who watch shows like "SVU" and "Criminal Minds" at home, so they can be counted on to bring up some pretty hairy topics.

During our birth control class, a child volunteered that some people use abortion as birth control, and immediately another child replied that abortion murders babies. I told them that abortion ends a pregnancy. But not everyone agrees on exactly when an embryo becomes a baby, and there are difficult questions around what exactly is best for the individual pregnant woman. HOWEVER, one thing EVERYONE agrees on is that abortion is a very serious medical procedure, and it's not something anyone would choose to do for fun. So the best thing to do is not get pregnant in the first place.

Then I asked the class, "Who here can tell me how to prevent a pregnancy from happening?"

And then we covered different methods of pregnancy prevention, including abstinence. And we discussed methods to prevent implantation of a fertilized egg, too, which brought us briefly back to abortion.

Other classes covered STIs, fetal development, power issues in relationships, roles for men and women, the impact of advertising on our self image, and lots more.

I don't think your teacher did anything wrong here. When running a sex education class it is VERY important that the children feel safe to ask any question at all (we have an anonymous question box). And it's also important that they know that their questions will be answered, and that no one will judge them for asking.

I tend to fall back a lot on, "Some people believe A, and some people believe B. What you and your family believe is up to you, but just remember - in this classroom we have respect for everyone's beliefs."

Wow, I think you did a great job with that, gave the facts with no slant towards one way or another. If all teachers did this there would be no problem.

My son's science did a class on STD's (he is in 7th grade). All questions were acceptable, she put a jar out on her desk so the kids could write them down if they didn't feel comfortable asking them. She did a great job. Son reported all of her answers back to me, I think he was double checking her. lol

 

[livie1205]

I am a teacher and I think that you might want to start asking for the curriculum of these courses before you sign off on them. It will prevent any future surprises. Of course, if a child asks a question in such a course, I personally feel the teacher needs to provide information on that topic to the extent a child of a certain age can handle. I really doubt a full blown lesson on the ins and outs of abortion was given. The conversation was probably very short.

they did send home the curriculum on this class and that was NOT on it,the teacher told me herself this was not on the curriculum,so I was NOT expecting it.

 

[Ember]

I wanted to add (what I think) is a relevant story from grade one. We had a little boy in our class who came in one day after a short, unexplained absence. Apparently, his mother had had an abortion during this time. Here's how the child understood events: "Mom was pregnant, she went to the doctor, he took a vacuum and sucked the baby out, and now the baby is dead." Those are the words he used.

Inconveniently, he also told his classmates this at recess. He was very confused about the whole thing, and reacted very badly to it. He simply couldn't make sense out of what had happened. He had questions about mom killing the baby, about why a vacuum was used, and about why the baby had to die. He wanted to talk about it.

I had a talk with him and tried to give him the information in a way that was age appropriate. Then we had a discussion about how it was a scary thing to know, so it would be something he talked to me about rather than his classmates. Then I called the parents of the children he had been talking to in order to let them know that the subject had come up on the playground and what had been said. I didn't address it with the other students, but informed their parents in case there were issues that arose.

So as early as grade one, some kids know about abortions and they are talking about it with their peers. As kids go through school and telling the teacher about everything becomes far less common, I can see how this would only get worse. Of course students might have questions, and I think being in a safe, factual environment is the perfect place to get information.