I have an adoption question

[bumbershoot]

If I google myself it says I was born in a different state, the information is correct but the location is off. My Social Security card was issued in this other state also.


I started looking because I was trying to do something and the security question was what state my SS card was issued. I assumed the state I was born. It denied me access saying I got that question wrong. That just seemed odd. Why would my SS card be issued in a state other than where I was born if I lived in that state from the time I was born until I was 6 years old? Anyone have any ideas?

You can google yourself and get where you were born? Wow, why is that googlable? It isn't for me.

SS cards weren't usually gotten when kids were babies 30+ years ago. They are cards for WORKING, and most people waited until kids were closer to working age to get them.

I don't think I got one until...oh, age 10 or so?

My parents were both on a second marriage.

My mother did not like me. And please, lets not get into that. She disowned me about 5 years before she died. Would tell people that she didn't have a daughter named Angela.


I was born in North Carolina in 1976. 32 years ago. Everything I find says I was born in Ohio 32 years ago. My birth certificate was filed one month and three days after I was born. Everything on my birth certificate say North Carolina. I don't know if that matters any. My SS card was also issued in Ohio. I lived in North Carolina until I was 6, we then moved to Virginia for 18 months then back to North Carolina. We lived in North Carolina until I was 9. I had a SS card since I was a baby. Why was it issued in Ohio? It just doesn't make sense to me. I do remember when I was 16 and trying to get my first drivers permit, they would not accept my birth certificate. When my mom called to get a new copy there was a problem. My dad had to drive to North Carolina and get a copy. We couldn't just get one sent. I was too young to really question it then but now I wonder.

Sounds like you could very well have not been from your mom, yes? Hence the anger towards you? Not that I think adoptive parents are angry, but if she was being forced into a situation of raising you, and she had no way to work through those feelings, it could have caused that?

When you say "everything I find" points to being born in OH, what things are you finding? Those things shouldn't be online; I would think that meant you just have a same-name person out there from OH. If you were adopted it likely would have been sealed, and that would not be online.

BUT you being in your 30s and having had a SS# from babyhood does, to me, raise questions. Because that just wasn't normally done in my experience. IT's only been the last 10 or maybe 20 years that insurance has been insisting on numbers for everyone...the IRS is insistent too now, which they never were before.


Honestly, I think you could just ask your dad these questions without mentioning adoption. It's your life, you do get to ask questions.

Have you ever gotten a passport or gone through a work security check etc. I would think it would be worth figuring out the social security thing while the generation above you is still living. That way they can help you if there are questions.

Can you just tell your dad you're having trouble with your social security info and ask if he knows anything about the Ohio business? Make it all about trying to clear up a snafu, not about finding out if you were adopted.

I agree!

LOL, I'm thinking about my mom...she was really into astrology, and knowing the exact place and time of birth was VERY important to her!

I'm not sure I'm following you on the SS card.

According to the government site they are based on "The first three (3) digits (area) of a person's social security number are determined by the ZIP Code of the mailing address shown on the application for a social security number."

It doen't sound like they have anything to do with birth place

http://ssa-custhelp.ssa.gov/cgi-bin...SZwX2N2PTEuMTYmcF9wYWdlPTE*&p_li=&p_topview=1

 

[ClarabelleCowFan]

You could also hire a private investigator to dig up all of the info thru court documents and such. My brother was given up for adoption as an infant and even though the court records were sealed, he found my parents by hiring a private investigator.

I think you need some answers and I can understand you not wanting to ask the questions of your relatives. Call around and see how much it would cost for a PI to do some investigating for you. Your peace of mind is worth it!

Good luck!

 

[Ilovemylife]

You can google yourself and get where you were born? Wow, why is that googlable? It isn't for me.

SS cards weren't usually gotten when kids were babies 30+ years ago. They are cards for WORKING, and most people waited until kids were closer to working age to get them.

I don't think I got one until...oh, age 10 or so?

I am 34 and have had a SS number since I was born. And so did my siblings and friends.

I think you were the exception, rather than the rule.

 

[debbi801]

I think it is a generational thing, as far as the social security numbers go. I'm in my mid-40s and did not get an SSN until I was ready to get my first job. I think I was 14 or 15. My mom ordered them for my siblings at the same time just for convenience.

As far as the birth certificate... I was adopted. My birth certificate shows the actual town and state I was born at as well as my adoptive parents names. The only odd thing is the file date, it shows the date the adoption was final.

 

[MELSMICE]

Can't help you, but like someone else mentioned - can you do some snooping? I know it's not being honest, but I would snoop before asking.

I can understand your hesitation in asking because you don't want to hurt your dad if you are wrong.

 

[Bluestars]

Worm, first of all I want to say I am sorry about your mother rejecting you. That must have been horrible for you. I can't understand how a parent can do this to their child. That is so cruel.

Second of all, I think you may be on to something. I would definitely investigate further if I were you.

The first three digits of my social security number are based on where I lived at the time my parents applied for my card. My husband's begins with 0. He was born and raised in the east. I was born and raised in the west and mine begins with 5.

If you have an older relative you are close to, maybe you can talk to that person and let them know the things you have said on this thread. Any relative at least 5 yrs older than you should know the truth. You could explain that you want to know, but don't want to hurt your dad by asking him.

Good luck in your search. I hope you find some answers.

 

[stm61]

I think it is a generational thing, as far as the social security numbers go. I'm in my mid-40s and did not get an SSN until I was ready to get my first job. I think I was 14 or 15. My mom ordered them for my siblings at the same time just for convenience.

As far as the birth certificate... I was adopted. My birth certificate shows the actual town and state I was born at as well as my adoptive parents names. The only odd thing is the file date, it shows the date the adoption was final.

social security numbers were never required for anything but work, until the IRS decided to eliminate the fictional kids some people were claiming on their taxes. I can't remember how long ago that was, just that it was a big deal to everyone who's kids didn't have cards yet. I'm late 40's and didn't get one until I was about 16, a younger sister got her's the same time, but the boys all waited on their's. We had to go to the social security office to request them.

As for the birth certificate, dh adopted one of our ds's, he was mine from a prior marriage. The information on the certificate is identical to the original, except that dh's name is now included. The adoption was done in the same state ds was born in, but we'd started the paperwork while we lived in another state and the court there said they would have to mail off the decree to have the certificate reissued in his state of birth if it was finalized before we moved back.

 

[eddad]

My husband's begins with 0. He was born and raised in the east. I.

RI? My wife is from RI and hers begins with 03

 

[Bluestars]

RI? My wife is from RI and hers begins with 03

I think he got it when he lived in Maine. It is 004.

 

[shortbun]

My son's birth certificate gives nothing away. On the other hand, my friend Mike found out he was adopted at a family reunion AFTER he was married. Some aunts had a frank discussion with his wife. I wish there was someone in your family who could quietly tell you either/or. Good luck!

 

[bumbershoot]

I am 34 and have had a SS number since I was born. And so did my siblings and friends.

I think you were the exception, rather than the rule.

Not with my friends! None of us had them until we were older. They just weren't needed so there was no need to get them and hold onto them so long. I'm only 5 years older than you.

I think it is a generational thing, as far as the social security numbers go. I'm in my mid-40s and did not get an SSN until I was ready to get my first job.

social security numbers were never required for anything but work, until the IRS decided to eliminate the fictional kids some people were claiming on their taxes. I can't remember how long ago that was, just that it was a big deal to everyone who's kids didn't have cards yet. I'm late 40's and didn't get one until I was about 16, a younger sister got her's the same time, but the boys all waited on their's. We had to go to the social security office to request them.

Yay, backup. I'm younger than you guys, older than the OP.

But I know my half brothers, who are 26 and 24, didn't get them for quite awhile. Their full sister, who is a freshman in HS, has had one for ages, but not the boys at around 10 years older. (and my dad didn't have anything to do with my SSN, he wasn't around in that way for me and my full brother, so he's not the common link with mine and my brothers' cards)

 

[HelenePA]

me and my brother did not have SS#'s for awhile after we were born. I think I was 8 maybe older (I can't ask my parents they are both gone) I was born in 78 if that makes a difference.. as far as looking like your parents.. one of our kids looks NOTHING like the others. I can assure you she has both the same mom and dad as the others..

 

[linda0706]

This is true.

worm761, if your birth certificate says you were born in North Carolina, that's what happened. What would change due to an adoption would be the parents' names on the certificate and the child's new adoptive name, if applicable. It would not change your place of birth. At least, it shouldn't.

Not necessarily...when we adopted my DD our attorney asked us what we wanted to show for her place of birth. We left everything the way it was -- the true info. I'm not sure if we could have changed the state but we definitely could have changed the city if we wanted to.

Also, for the record, I'm 44 & got my SS# in 4th grade or so. And only then because my mom had to order one for my older brother so she did us all at the same time.

 

[mnm.rain]

I, too, am 34 and have had a SSN since right after birth. My DS was adopted, and his birth certificate is exactly the same with the exception of the names being changed. It does show his original date of birth. I am fortunate enough to have both copies to compare.

I am 34 and have had a SS number since I was born. And so did my siblings and friends.

I think you were the exception, rather than the rule.

 

[pfishgirl]

Same.. DS was adopted by my husband and his Birth Certificate says my name as Mom and DHs as Dad.. Everything else stayed the same.. Date, Time, Place, etc etc

Matter of fact, we were ALL surprised that no where on his BC does it say anything about his Bio Dad or anything about being reissued or revised

This was in 2002, we did Step Parent adoption a year after we were married.. My ex hubby, DS's bio dad, had to sign away all rights..

There is a paper trail if you look hard enough

As for our SSN's we are all a 1 but DH & DS are 15 and I am 14

 

[aprilgail2]

I am 34 and have had a SS number since I was born. And so did my siblings and friends.

I think you were the exception, rather than the rule.

No one I knew as a kid had a SS# until they were older and ready to work! I applied in high school for one so I ocould get working papers for a job.

I think it is a generational thing, as far as the social security numbers go. I'm in my mid-40s and did not get an SSN until I was ready to get my first job. I think I was 14 or 15. My mom ordered them for my siblings at the same time just for convenience.

That is exactly how it worked, no one was issued SS#'s at birth then! That was the Rule then rather then the exception!

As far as the birth certificate... I was adopted. My birth certificate shows the actual town and state I was born at as well as my adoptive parents names. The only odd thing is the file date, it shows the date the adoption was final.

I have two birth certificates- one of them says the name my birth mother gave me in the hospital and then when I was adopted they issued a new one with my new name and my adoptive parents info in there. I actually don't think they were suposed to give that to my parents when they adopted me but boy was it a big help when I was searching for my bio-parents!

 

[barkley]

I am 34 and have had a SS number since I was born. And so did my siblings and friends.

I think you were the exception, rather than the rule.

nope.

the big push on minors getting social security cards did'nt come about until the late 80's when the irs began requring each dependant have theirs listed on any return they were being claimed on (began i believe in 1987). prior to that a minor might not need one until they were old enough to become employed or they went to college (when i went in the late 70's everything was driven by our ss numbers-our grades were posted on the prof's door without names-just the last four digits of our ss numbers). another reason a younger kid back then might have had one was like in my case-a family member wanted to set up a savings account for me but did'nt want their ssn associated with it for tax reasons (an alternate reason could be if a child was tied to a social security claim-if their parent was retired or disabled and collecting or the child was going to collect under a deceased parent's claim).

i went to work for social services in the late 80's, and every kid had to have a ss number for the purposes of our programs. before the irs initiated their rule the bulk of our applicants ended up having to apply for ss cards for their kids-within a few years almost every kid whose parents walked through the door (if the parents had filed taxes) had them. as time went on because hospitals got on board and began doing the paperwork for the parents at the child's time of birth it was the norm for those kids to have ss cards.

 

[tzolkin]

My aunt has two brothers. One a year older and one 5 years younger. The younger brother did not look like the older two, completely different personality, etc. They even used to tease him that he must be adopted.

Well, a few years ago at a funeral a "crazy old relative" let it slip to my aunt that she was adopted. Apparently some of the family knew this, but kept it a secret. She found that she and her older brother are actually siblings and believe that their biological mother may have been someone close to their family (possibly a cousin or other relative). My aunt has been investigating into the whole thing since she found out, but she could not talk to her parents about it. She believed she would really hurt or upset them, so I understand why you might be hesitant to talk to your dad. I'm not sure how you look into something like this without talking to your family, but there must be a way. I remember my aunt waiting for papers in the mail to confirm that she was adopted, so there must be a way to request that info. Good luck. I'm sure this must be stressful.

 

[Ilovemylife]

I'm finding it highly amusing that people are trying to tell me I didn't have a SS number until I was older.

 

[Mom2Nick]

I am 38 - None of my siblings or I had SS#'s until my mom decided to get all of ours when my youngest brother was 5. That was 1983 and at that time I was 13.