I give up! (potty training)

[luvmyfam444]

Please tell me what I should do now....

I'm giving up - I'm tired of the mess...

would you put her in pullups (which we really can't afford) or diapers...

yes I've tried everything, stickers, chocolate, gum, spankings, time out, corner, taking away & bribing to buy something new.

She's been in panties 1 year now - with multiple accidents a day.
There was a time when it was better - almost a full day dry

We're going to her aunts in 2 weeks & we can't have this kind of mess at their house - she won't put up with it.

And yes - I potty-trained 2 others easily & early (20 & 24 months) but not this child of mine!

SHe will take herself when she's asked - ocassionally she'll say no - but most of the time she'll go when asked & she'll go both stages in the potty (even taking herself sometimes for #2 as well) so she is ABSOLUTELY capable!

I just don't want to make it any worse than it already is - so I need to figure it out...I bought pull-ups & she's seen them & has asked to go potty in them.... so I'm pretty sure that would be worse..

And yes - she'll be 3 in 23 days!

 

[freckles and boo]

Put her diapers and back off. She is under a lot of pressure if you are spanking her because of potty accidents at the age of two.

 

[Mom2Nick]

Put her diapers and back off. She is under a lot of pressure if you are spanking her because of potty accidents at the age of two.

I agree - sometimes the more you push the more problems you create. There's no rule that says she must be potty trained by age three. I would just put the diapers on and put everything away for a month or two then try again. I know it's frustrating but every kid is different - with development and temperment. It's not worth the stress for either one of you right now so just take a break and revisit this late on

 

[Nancyg56]

GO back to diapers. I agree that perhaps she is under too much pressure right now. All children are different, my boys trained early, my DD was close to three when she finally was completely trained. If you are adding spankings to this instead of positive reinforcement she will probably continue to regress.

 

[CowboyCO]

Personally, I think you need to back off. No punishment, no scolding. Just lots a praise when she does it right.

My DS wouldn't potty train and when he was three I found him hiding in the closet, going in his pants because he was so scared of making Daddy mad. It was a real watershed moment that my DS would rather hide and go in his pants than go in the toilet.

I backed way off, just praised going in the toilet and within 3-4 months he was doing it all on his own and proud of himself.

Good luck -- don't worry about relatives. Just explain that your other kids learned early and this one doesn't have it figured out yet.

 

[TomLovesBecky]

Please tell me what I should do now....

I'm giving up - I'm tired of the mess...

would you put her in pullups (which we really can't afford) or diapers...

yes I've tried everything, stickers, chocolate, gum, spankings, time out, corner, taking away & bribing to buy something new.

She's been in panties 1 year now - with multiple accidents a day.
There was a time when it was better - almost a full day dry

We're going to her aunts in 2 weeks & we can't have this kind of mess at their house - she won't put up with it.

And yes - I potty-trained 2 others easily & early (20 & 24 months) but not this child of mine!

SHe will take herself when she's asked - ocassionally she'll say no - but most of the time she'll go when asked & she'll go both stages in the potty (even taking herself sometimes for #2 as well) so she is ABSOLUTELY capable!

I just don't want to make it any worse than it already is - so I need to figure it out...I bought pull-ups & she's seen them & has asked to go potty in them.... so I'm pretty sure that would be worse..

And yes - she'll be 3 in 23 days!

Um you SPANKED a 2 year old for not going to the potty??? The problem is not her, it's you. You need to relax and stop trying to force the issue. Take a valium if necessary! I know it's frustrating and messy to potty train, lord knows I had fun with my brood (NOT!), but you are wayyyy too intensely worried about this issue! IMO

 

[Disneyland_Mama]

I agree with all of the above. Drop it, she's not ready. I went through the same thing with my son. He's 4.5 now and has been potty trained for a year now. I tried for 6 months and then gave up.

He decided he was done on March 6th, his gramma's birthday and has been accident free since then.

She WILL train when she is ready. I always find the baby of the family a bit more stubborn.

 

[Pooh Crew]

My ped said to not even bother until my triplets were 3. She said the only sure sign of readiness was waking up dry in the mornings. My girls were just over 3, dry consistently in the mornings for about a week, so we set a date and said no more diapers after this weekend. That weekend came, we had a crash course in potty usage, and my girls were trained--day and night. One dd decided she wanted diapers again, so I let her go back to them and just told her it was her decision. Two days later she was back in underwear and has never looked back. No fuss, no mess.

Back off, let it be her accomplishment. Tell her the pull-ups are for when you go out of the house after she's already a big girl wearing panties. And for all those well-meaning family memebers who will question why she's not trained, offer to drop her off in undies at their house so they can show you the error of your ways.

 

[HonnyDipp]

Put her diapers and back off. She is under a lot of pressure if you are spanking her because of potty accidents at the age of two.

I agree too, the child is under pressure. Try it her way, she will get the hang of it. Just remember, be patient, she may be changing YOUR diapers one day!!! Here's a hug, something tells me you need it!!!

 

[piglet too]

Another one saying to back off. She will not go to kindergarten in diapers, so just give her time.

 

[Briarmom]

You spanked a 2 year old for not using the potty?

My son was 4 before he was potty trained. I took off his diaper for a long time, hoping he'd get it.

He didn't. He learned to hold it for hours. 12+ hours. His ped thought that was bad for his kidneys.

Before his sister was born, I took off his diaper again. He fought, but eventually used the toilet. I bought him one present at that time. As I said, he was 4. (This was a one day process)

He did not have an accident after that. So, while there are problems (socially) with having a child who is not potty trained, there are good things, too.

 

[HelenePA]

Nakked is the way to go in my house. I would suggest getting a few cloth diapers pull ups are basically diapers that you just pull up she is probably getting mixed signals.. you put a diaper on her but expect her to use the potty she's confused! Cloth diapers aren't that bad go for the All In Ones (AIO's) they are just like pampers but you wash them. Thats it nothing else to it... if there is poop in them you just dump it into the toilet. Remember you get more flies with sugar. Praise the good ignore the bad! My son was in cloth due to a disposable diaper allergy and was trained at 22 months. Not night trained but fully day trained.

 

[All American]

I had set a goal to have my daughter potty-trained by college. Imagine my delight when I acheived that goal many years early. I never pushed the issue (we'd try and back off if it wasn't working), and she was potty-trained about 2 months after her 4th birthday (as was my pediatrician's son). Don't worry about it if your child is still in pull-ups/diapers. At some point we'll find ourselves in them again. Some things just take longer for some kids than others.

 

[mjkacmom]

I'm a big believer in nakey butt. My sister had a similar issue - one of her kids totally regressed, so she enrolled him in potty boot camp run out of a woman's home. They gave the kids lots of drinks, nakey butt, and their potties next to them. If they had accidents, they cleaned them.

 

[HonnyDipp]

For my boys I used fruit loops. My boys shot at them and within a few days they were trained! For my daughter, I used blue toilet cleaner, I told her if she peed she would magically turn the water green and get a prize. It took her a bit, but she got into it. But to this day, my boys wont eat fruit loops!

 

[ilovejack02]

Drop it and try again when a lil older.. Id do diapers before pull ups .
The only thing that worked for us, is he had to help clean all messes and had to take a bath everytime he had an accident which made him so mad lol.
It annoyed him to have to stop watching movie or playing with toys etc. to have to take a bath. The reason we bathed is because it is nasty to mess on yourself . I never fussed.. everything was just matter of fact. He trained super fast, but was over three by a cpl of months. Even a cpl of months can make all the difference in maturity.

 

[JessicaR]

You need to not talk about it at all! Backing off is exactly what you should be doing. Potty training shouldn't be traumatic. I promise she will not start kindergarten in a diaper.

 

[ZachnElli]

There's nothing wrong with her learning at 3 1/2. Learning at 20 or 24 months does not make your older kids smarter. She may have a weaker bladder, some kids do. Heck, my dh has a weaker bladder than I do! Put her back in the diapers and wait. Also, I don't agree with the rule that when they are dry all night they are ready. Alot of kids will wet the bed for a good year after they are potty trained during the day. My oldest (now almost 14) was that way and my now 4 year old is that way. He's still wet at night but completely trained during the day, minus an accident every once in a while during nap time (once again while sleeping!).

 

[3DisneyBuggs]

My son was 3 1/2 before he was fully trained. He still uses pull ups at night. Patience is the key, it will happen and you can;t force it.

 

[diznygirl]

I had set a goal to have my daughter potty-trained by college. Imagine my delight when I acheived that goal many years early. I never pushed the issue (we'd try and back off if it wasn't working), and she was potty-trained about 2 months after her 4th birthday (as was my pediatrician's son). Don't worry about it if your child is still in pull-ups/diapers. At some point we'll find ourselves in them again. Some things just take longer for some kids than others.

Potty training is one of the great mysteries of Parenthood. I know my kids aren't wearing diapers anymore, but I'm not sure I had anything to do with it. I know my daughter is stubborn and refused to use any potty or potty-like apparatus. I did the nakey-thing and all I got was a mess. For her it happened magically one night and that was it.

You are BOTH frustrated. Call a truce enjoy the peace.