I don't get it

[SillyMe]

How can a father not care if he doesn't see his child? How can he put his hobbies and his girlfriend before his daughter and just walk away from her?

 

[kristen821]

I know quite a few mothers and fathers like that. I am sorry you are having trouble.

 

[Pam]

Obviously he is a selfish SOB.

I'm sorry. Someday he will realize what he's lost out on -- but chances are it will be too late.

 

[DisneyFan06]

How can a father not care if he doesn't see his child? How can he put his hobbies and his girlfriend before his daughter and just walk away from her?

There jerks. Yes, I am a male and I dont understand how someone could do such a thing. Seriously. I hope I dont get flammed for my opinion. My friend's ex, left her because she had a baby and wants nothing to do with the kid and does not pay child support. The kid is now 12. It is rather sad, when he asks: Where is my dad? Why does he hate me?

I feel more like a father to him than his actual father. He is a good kid, all in all. BUt does have some behavior problems from the situation.

 

[NewJersey]

Aw, I'm sorry. Some men unfortunately are as mature as a 13 y/o in middle school. She is darn lucky to have you though.

 

[L107ANGEL]

Aw, I'm sorry. Some men unfortunately are as mature as a 13 y/o in middle school. She is darn lucky to have you though.

 

[SillyMe]

There jerks. Yes, I am a male and I dont understand how someone could do such a thing. Seriously. I hope I dont get flammed for my opinion. My friend's ex, left her because she had a baby and wants nothing to do with the kid and does not pay child support. The kid is now 12. It is rather sad, when he asks: Where is my dad? Why does he hate me?

I feel more like a father to him than his actual father. He is a good kid, all in all. BUt does have some behavior problems from the situation.

She's 7 years old and she was the light of his life. Granted, even when we were together he never really had the responsibility he was supposed to have, but he still loved her without a doubt. He still does, which is why I just don't understand it.

Sorry, I'm just frustrated. I didn't get much sleep last night and I can't get it off my mind.

 

[Stitchfans]

I am so sorry to hear this. I have no advice just

 

[L107ANGEL]

I'm sorry Silly! Its obvious you are searching for answers and unfortunately the only one I have is he's only thinking of himself and hurting your innocent daughter in the process. The damge he's creating sadly falls back onto your shoulders as you try to do damage controll with her. I just want to say that you are an excellent mother and you will find your way through this

 

[Tigger&Belle]

I am so sorry! I don't know that there is an explanation for irrational behavior and I'm really sorry that you are living through this. It must be so hard on your DD.

 

[ADisneygirl]

Sorry. There is no answer to satisfy you, I know. It doesn't make sense to me either, but lots of bad things people do don't make a whole lot of sense. She will be affected by this all her life, but believe me, the day will come when he is sorry. Unfortunately, that day often comes way too late.

 

[ChrisnSteph]

She's 7 years old and she was the light of his life. Granted, even when we were together he never really had the responsibility he was supposed to have, but he still loved her without a doubt. He still does, which is why I just don't understand it.

Sorry, I'm just frustrated. I didn't get much sleep last night and I can't get it off my mind.

I have the same situation with my dd. Her dad was very involved in her life until she was about 4, when he met the person who is now his wife. He now has two other children, and my dd has fallen off his radar. I've had many conversations with him about it, and even my dd has told him how she feels about it, but he doesn't seem to get it. He'll get better about calling her for a couple weeks, and then it goes right back to not hearing from him in almost a month. Fortunately she has my dh, who has been her "real" daddy since she was 2.

I'm really sorry you have to deal with this. It really is frustrating and it's hard to see your child be treated in this way. Try talking to him about and see if you get anywhere that way. If not, there probably isn't much you can do - some people are just genuine jerks. Hang in there!

 

[SillyMe]

I have the same situation with my dd. Her dad was very involved in her life until she was about 4, when he met the person who is now his wife. He now has two other children, and my dd has fallen off his radar. I've had many conversations with him about it, and even my dd has told him how she feels about it, but he doesn't seem to get it. He'll get better about calling her for a couple weeks, and then it goes right back to not hearing from him in almost a month. Fortunately she has my dh, who has been her "real" daddy since she was 2.

I'm really sorry you have to deal with this. It really is frustrating and it's hard to see your child be treated in this way. Try talking to him about and see if you get anywhere that way. If not, there probably isn't much you can do - some people are just genuine jerks. Hang in there!

Yeah, there is no talking to him. We were very amicable until about 2 months ago. Now we're not speaking at all. He has refused to do a visitation schedule from day one and I always accommodated him. He took advantage of it and now it's worse since the gf's in the picture. He thinks he can call me the day before and tell me he wants her. I'm supposed to drop the plans we have so he can see her b/c he has decided to finally fit her in. Well, I've had it and I put my foot down. I'm not accommodating him anymore. So he's pretty much just walking away. He even stopped calling her. She still calls him almost every day, but he won't call her.

She had the flu last week and asked him to stop to see her. He said no. When she asked him why, he told her it was "none of her business". The reason was b/c he is avoiding me. He's acting like a 2 year old.

 

[DISUNC]

TRUST ME ON THIS ONE!!!! His loss!

The father who is not around for the kids when they are small......WILL NOT have his kids around when he is OLD...and alone!!

 

[L107ANGEL]

TRUST ME ON THIS ONE!!!! His loss!

The father who is not around for the kids when they are small......WILL NOT have his kids around when he is OLD...and alone!!

That is so true!!

 

[lovemygoofy]

I'm so sorry you and you sweet daughter are going through this. There is nothing more painful to a child then rejection by a parent. I went through it more times than I can count and then I stopped trying. I harbor no ill will toward him and have no feelings at all I guess but what Unc said is true, I will also not be of any help in the end.

I hope that your ex get his head out of his *ahem* and realizes what a beautiful daughter he is wasting time not seeing.

 

[Liberty Belle]

Yeah, there is no talking to him. We were very amicable until about 2 months ago. Now we're not speaking at all. He has refused to do a visitation schedule from day one and I always accommodated him. He took advantage of it and now it's worse since the gf's in the picture. He thinks he can call me the day before and tell me he wants her. I'm supposed to drop the plans we have so he can see her b/c he has decided to finally fit her in. Well, I've had it and I put my foot down. I'm not accommodating him anymore. So he's pretty much just walking away. He even stopped calling her. She still calls him almost every day, but he won't call her.

She had the flu last week and asked him to stop to see her. He said no. When she asked him why, he told her it was "none of her business". The reason was b/c he is avoiding me. He's acting like a 2 year old.

What a completely immature jerk! I'm so sorry your daughter (and you) have to deal with that.

 

[MosMom]

So sorry for your daughter

 

[MyGoofy26]

How can a father not care if he doesn't see his child? How can he put his hobbies and his girlfriend before his daughter and just walk away from her?

My father insisted my mom had to be cheating on him (they weren't married) and that I couldn't be his. Last time my mom spoke to him was the day I was born to tell him, his reponse? "Oh." I've never met him. Never spoken to him. All I've ever seen is a pic from their high school yearbook probably 15 years ago. Part of me wonders how a person can do that - even if you have doubt, wouldn't you want to know if you had a child? But that's when I disassociate myself. In reality, I've never thought to wonder or care about him. It worked out well - I'm glad mom didn't force someone to be in my life that didn't want to be there. In a way, I think it was easier on me than a child that knows their father and gets ignored and treated as insignificant in his life.

 

[mommasita]

This is so sad, and more so to me. I was "that" child. My dad refused to have anything to do with me, did not care whether I ate or starved. His new GF did not want the trouble I guess, and he thought with one brain, instead of the other.

I got married at 25, and my mother walked me down the aisle. My Dad was furious with me. I said, Sorry Charlie, Mom raised me, fed me, cared for me when I needed it, and she is my only parent. I did invite my father, he cried the whole day/night. I have this on video. Sadly, it does not hurt me one iota. We all build our own bridges.

I have a semi-relationship now, if that is even a term at all. He calls, I answer. There really is no emotion on my part, but he tries. Too little, too late.

This may not make you feel better at all. I don't believe I was scarred at all, rather God blessed me with an amazing mother, as you are to yours..

Hug her tight, and thank god you have each other. The bonds you are making now will last an eternity.