I can't stand it when people do this!!

[LoveBWVVBR]

My sister dumped her boyfriend (who is a loser, but that's another story). Anyways, she called me for days, telling me stories of why she dumped him. I had to agree with her that it sounded like she did the right thing. The stuff that she told me made me like him even less than I already did.

Lo and behold, not a week later, she takes him back and acts like nothing ever happened Now I'm supposed to just forget about everything she told me about him and act like he's the greatest guy on earth for her I guess She's talking him up like he's Mr. Wonderful again. Aside from just waiting for him to screw up again (which he will), how do I act like she never told me all of that stuff about him??? My sister is 30, so it's not like this is some high school saga. She actually talks about marrying this guy!! BTW, my parents are equally at a loss over this, since she told them all the same stuff.

 

[AllyandJack]

I think your sister is my best friend.

Her DH is a complete loser. I have to listen to her tell me how she found out he was cheating on her - then, a week later, hear his lame excuse and her explanation about why she believes it.

My favorite was after she had her son. He took her car (it's her car and she doesn't let him take it without her) to work because that would mean he could get back to her and the baby faster. The plan was for him to go to work and pick her up at the hospital at 9am when she and baby will be discharged. He never showed up. He never answered his phone. She had to call her sister to come get her and the baby and hospital had to give her a carseat because hers was in her car that her DH had.

His excuse? He was pulled off of dispatch and told to drive the ambulance (I'm sure it happens all the time that someone NOT an EMT is told to take control of the ambulance). Then, he got into an accident in the ambulance and had to be taken to the ER of another hospital. I guess it's a hospital with no discharge papers, no phones, and no billing. He didn't want to worry her - and, isn't he just SO SWEET for not calling her about this "accident" and not worrying her? He's just so GREAT.

I either don't respond to her messages or I just sit there and say, "Wow, really? That stinks. Well, it's up to you what to do. You're right, I'm sure he wasn't cheating on you - the girl is simply nuts and so are the 3 people who saw them together." Just nod and smile and say, "Uh huh...."

 

[JRawkSteady]

Argh - the human emotion is crazy. When you break up with someone or vice versa you can go one of two ways
A) you start to feel that you can take over the world because you are single again and the opportunity could be around any corner.
or
B) you start thinking that your ex was the only one who will ever go out with you and so you either wallow in self-pity for a while, or you end up going back with the ex.

It's sad, because the latter of the two is more common especially after not finding anyone when experiencing the former. I would definitely say something when she starts talking him up like he's a greek god. But that's my personality. Good luck!

 

[hiwaygal]

I wouldn't forget or pretend none of it happened...why should you? You aren't the one who has to live/deal with the guy.

I would just be ready to be supportive when it all happens again.

 

[hmgolden]

I feel your pain. I've never been able to just forgive and forget when it comes to welcoming the other person back 'into the fold'. I've never understood how a friend of mine can forget in the morning all the stress and pain that was felt because of a SO the night before like nothing ever happened!

 

[LoveBWVVBR]

Last weekend I told her that it was just a honeymoon period and not to let herself get sucked back in, and she said "oh don't say that!". I guess I'm done telling her what I think until the next time Mr. Not-So-Wonderful screws up.

AllynJack, this guy is a cheater too. Of course, nothing physical happened when he ditched my sister on her 30th birthday in favor of going on a blind double date with his loser friend Yeah, riiiight....

 

[lovmy2girls]

I think this is a mistake people make when they tell family or friends about their spouse, mate, live in, or soon to be married to partner.

What they don't realize, is love covers a lot, and things that you would forget,.... parents, sisters, family, don't forget. They do not love that person like you do. Then they can't understand why you don't like their boyfriend or girlfriend. They forgive, and forget and you don't, and don't understand why you can't!

 

[LoveBWVVBR]

I think this is a mistake people make when they tell family or friends about their spouse, mate, live in, or soon to be married to partner.

What they don't realize, is love covers a lot, and things that you would forget,.... parents, sisters, family, don't forget. They do not love that person like you do. Then they can't understand why you don't like their boyfriend or girlfriend. They forgive, and forget and you don't, and don't understand why you can't!

This pretty much sums it up!! My sister now gets mad at us for "not liking" her boyfriend. Well, you told us he cheated on you, ditched you on your 30th birthday, etc. Are we supposed to just forget that

 

[lovmy2girls]

This pretty much sums it up!! My sister now gets mad at us for "not liking" her boyfriend. Well, you told us he cheated on you, ditched you on your 30th birthday, etc. Are we supposed to just forget that

Yep! Like it never happend.

 

[btmfdr]

My favorite was after she had her son. He took her car (it's her car and she doesn't let him take it without her) to work because that would mean he could get back to her and the baby faster. The plan was for him to go to work and pick her up at the hospital at 9am when she and baby will be discharged. He never showed up. He never answered his phone. She had to call her sister to come get her and the baby and hospital had to give her a carseat because hers was in her car that her DH had.

In this instance what does the DH stand for again?

 

[AllyandJack]

In this instance what does the DH stand for again?

I don't think we can say that here. My DH has a few choice names for him. He didn't like him from Day 1.

You know what the saddest part is? The saddest part is watching such smart women be so taken in with lies.

 

[LoveBWVVBR]

You know what the saddest part is? The saddest part is watching such smart women be so taken in with lies.

 

[palmtreegirl]

Oh I hate it when someone does that!

 

[CapeCodTenor]

I encountered quite often in my dating days. I was always the nice guy, not to physically fit, not fat, just not the jock type body. I would ask some cute young lady out, she would then turn me down with some excuse, and then go out with some guy who looked great but was a complete jerk. Then she would complain about dating guys who were jerks. It's the way life goes. Unfortunately she's not going to listen. The thing to do is to allow her to date this guy, again, and when she's had enough she'll come around.

 

[Stitchfans]

If I didn't know better I would swear your sister is my oldest DD. She and her DF fight constantly. He says and does so many things that drive her and yet she "loves him" she says he'll change, mom, wait and see. No one from my side of the family likes him. I can't stand him.

I am dreading the wedding and since it isn't until July 2007 I am hoping with all my heart she comes to her senses and drops this jerk. It breaks my heart to think of the kind of life she is going to have with him.It really puzzles me why she is marrying him even though she sees the tons of faults he has.

so sad when the negative characteristics outweigh the positive.

 

[LoveBWVVBR]

If I didn't know better I would swear your sister is my oldest DD. She and her DF fight constantly. He says and does so many things that drive her and yet she "loves him" she says he'll change, mom, wait and see. No one from my side of the family likes him. I can't stand him.

I am dreading the wedding and since it isn't until July 2007 I am hoping with all my heart she comes to her senses and drops this jerk. It breaks my heart to think of the kind of life she is going to have with him.It really puzzles me why she is marrying him even though she sees the tons of faults he has.

so sad when the negative characteristics outweigh the positive.

I told my mom that I was going to just not say anything unless they get engaged. I really feel for you, because I don't know how I'd be able to act pleasantly if my sister got engaged to this guy. Hopefully your daughter and my sister will come to their senses. Have you ever considered bringing around some more decent young men? I've actually tried to get my parents to do as much, but they say that they don't know anyone DH and I are at a loss as well, but if I knew somebody great and single I'd be sending him into my sister's path repeatedly

 

[Tissa]

My sister did this to us for years with her boyfriend, call me up crying begging me to come get her telling us how horrible he is just to go back over there a few days later and get upset because we didn't want him over at the holidays. I can't even remember how many times I have jumped in the car and driven the 40 miles over to get her. Finally I had enough and told her not to call me the next time they were in a fight and leave me out of it because she would just make up with him the next day but I wouldn't.

 

[goofygirl]

I have a friend like this in my group of girlfriends, its so aggravating!!


She breaks up with BF, takes him back, breaks up, goes back, repeat.

This is for years now and he treats her so badly. She has low self esteem- I tried to tell her she deserves better but she won't get it.

Our group hasn't even seen her in over a year because he's isolated her from her friends. We've invited her out many times, and she either ignores us or declines the invites.

Sometimes you just have to just give up.

 

[LoveBWVVBR]

My sister did this to us for years with her boyfriend, call me up crying begging me to come get her telling us how horrible he is just to go back over there a few days later and get upset because we didn't want him over at the holidays. I can't even remember how many times I have jumped in the car and driven the 40 miles over to get her. Finally I had enough and told her not to call me the next time they were in a fight and leave me out of it because she would just make up with him the next day but I wouldn't.

Did she ever dump him for good? I'm looking for hope here, LOL!

 

[Disney Doll]

In this instance what does the DH stand for again?

One "D" word comes to mind, but it's not too DIS-friendly.