I can't believe what just happened....

[luvsJack]

Maybe he feels guilty, like the pregnancy wouldn't have happened if he had been paying attention. Maybe he is worried that the OP's ds is not going to step up and marry and/or take care of his daughter. Maybe he is afraid of losing his daughter and grandchild when the OP's ds does step up and marry and/or take care of them. Maybe he feels all of this at one time.

And it very well could be that he feels like he will be ultimately responsible for his daughter and grandchild. And because of that he resents you doing something he doesn't agree with (like maybe taking a baby that young to a function like that?). My ds and his gf live with my mom, and we expect them to let us know when they are not coming home at night. I would be upset if they were off with the baby and didn't let us know anything all night too. ( I wouldn't yell and I would call them, but still)

Personally, I think the best thing is to advise her to work things out with her father and compromise with him on some things . I wouldn't be moving anyone in anywhere unless your comes home and they decide together to move in together. That's not a decision that anyone else needs to make for them.

 

[nealymouse]

"DGF even commented that her Dad was not even buying groceries for their home anymore because he was eating at his GF's every night."

I dont want to sound rude but a 21 year old girl should not have the right to complain about her father not buying groceries. If food was needed in the home then she should be out working and buying them. NOT expecting her father to support her.

I dont agree with his behavior, It must have been really hard on you all. But if she is living at home and expects him to be buying groceries then a phone call is the least she could have done.

On a great note, Your DGD I bet is beautiful!!!! Congrads on being a Nana,

 

[Carly_Roach]

OP, I would not let this go on any longer. Tell DH never mind. DGF's dad was upset about her not getting back when he wanted her....let DGF and her dad discuss this alone.

As far as the whole confrontation with DGF's dad, yes, that was upsetting for you and your DD12 and the DGF....but move on from it. Say nothing more. Continuing to discuss this and trying to figure out WHY the dad was screaming and yelling will not accomplish anything. Its over.

I absolutely agree with this post. The problem is between the GF and her father, not you and the GF's father.

 

[wdwfan16]

OP how long was your DS dating this women before the pregnancy? Was it a long term relationship or just a quicky that resulted in a child.

If it was the later maybe the father is worried that your son is not really committed or will leave her as soon as he finds another.

 

[Shmily1]

I just want to say Congratulations on the new baby!!! They are wonderful so enjoy!! DD's DS is now 2 months old today and we actually don't know how we ever did without him! We took DGS to move DS into college when he was 3 weeks old with no problems.

On the other note, DGF's dad will get over it. He will be back wishing she was at your house soon--as soon as he gets over his GF leaving him. He also may be resentful of his DD and her little one if the GF blamed her leaving on the baby. Just keep being there for DGF and hang in there! The little one is sooo worth it!!

 

[DVCisME]

Hi! Congrats on your new grandchild!
I don't really have advice but have somethings I wanted to share. My husband and I got married when I was 20 and he was 23 (we were living by ourselves and supporting ourselves). We got pregnant right away (on purpose if anyone thinks that matters). When we told his family his mom complained that she was to young to be a grandmother (50). That pregnancy ended in a miscarriage. We were blessed with another pregnancy three months later. When we told his family about this pregnancy she said "I knew you would make sure you got what you wanted". It was a complicated pregnancy that landed me on bedrest at four months until delivery (at 21). When my son was born his family only stopped by on there way to AC. However she was never short on her advice (unwelcomed at that) and the most aggreviating acting like our son was her son in public. Five years later and nothing has changed except now we have limited contact- she doesn't make the effort and we can only handle so much.
People do things for different reasons. He might just be acting like this because he thinks it is the right thing. And even though my husband did stick up for us, as did I, you cannot change people like that. She never sees anything she does as wrong. All I can think of is keep an eye on the GF. If she keeps sleeping so much she might be depressed. If you persue things with her father she might feel uncomfortable coming to you. It might just be an added stress that she cannot handle right now. She has to be able to make those decisions on her own or she might become resentful.
II think that you are doing a great job or making her comfotable and helping with the baby. You are doing a great job with open arms and an open heart. Don't let someone else rain on your parade. There are still exact quotes and stories I could say that I tried to brush off at the time thats still hurt like...but my sons will never know. We all have to make our own choices and I will let them see what they want to see. However they do call her "the other grandma". It is what you make of it and this is just the beginning.

 

[BelleWDW]

Here is the background. DS21 and his GF21 just had a baby girl 9 days ago. He is a senior in college


The one thing we wanted was for him to get through school. He cannot have any distractions or problems at this stage of his education. He needs to get into med school here so he can take care of his baby. I have no idea what to do. I guess I will never see my grand daughter, cause DS can't come home very often with work and school.

Question-how will he pay for Medical School? I would think it will be extrememly hard living with a baby/child while in Med School also!

Why isn;t it also the young lady's responsibility to get a job/education to support this child also?

From her father's reaction, it seems she isn't that grown up yet

 

[rie'smom]

Question-how will he pay for Medical School? I would think it will be extrememly hard living with a baby/child while in Med School also!

Why isn;t it also the young lady's responsibility to get a job/education to support this child also?

From her father's reaction, it seems she isn't that grown up yet

If he doesn't have a scholarship, he'll do what most med students do and get a student loan.

She might have a job. Her baby was just 9 days old when the incident occurred. Many women take a maternty leave.

What does her father's reaction have to do with her maturity? He seems to have a controlling, domineering personality. That shows his immaturity, not hers.

 

[DizBelle]

I think the OP has a right to confront (or have her DH confront) this man on his bad behavior towards her. If more people were called on their bad behavior they may exhibit it less often.

He directed his obnoxiousness toward her. She has a right to discuss it with him since she was the target. It really has nothing to do with his daughter or grandbaby.