I am Tired of Single Parenting when I am not one

[kritter]

I hear you my Dh works crazy long hours...But just think life can change in an instant and think that you have a man who works hard for his family.....
Honestly I would not want it any other way...he works hard for us....I knowit is hard when he is not home for the kids, etc.. But I am soo happy to have him and bemarried to him....Enjoy the holidays....

 

[Wish I lived in Fl]

*Set a time limit--forget marathon shopping with little kids. One hour, max. More than that and your asking for meltdowns. It's better to take three short trips than try to do it all in one. Trust me.

Or online shopping. My friend with 3 littles and a DH who works 6 days a week does her gift and clothes shopping online. Someplaces even groceries can be shopped online and delivered. The food prices are a little bit higher than in store BUT you actually spend less because you only buy what is on the list.

When DH is away for work we do take it easier meal wise also. Canned Dinty Moore stew and crescent rolls, pizza occasionally .Whatever is easy to make and cleanup.

 

[wrldpossibility]

First, CowboyCO, I do know that it works both ways, and the one working is crazy tired and torn too! I hope you can find a balance!

To the OP: I'm there with you! DH got a promotion a few months ago, which is good, but he works nearly always. It will be that way for about a year I think. My only saving grace is that I have family nearby, who help me. But even with that, it can get very stressful and tiring (my baby gets up every day before 5 am, and it makes me crazy tired). So I'm up at 5 am and go all day until 8 pm alone with the three kids most days. DH truly tries to be there as much as possible. He tries his best to take his days off, but then he's tired too, and needs to relax, which I understand in theory, lol.

One thing that helps me is to take pride in the fact that I CAN do it, and do it with at least only a little resentment. I try my best to be supportive, because DH doesn't need to hear how bad it is for me constantly, when he's working his you-know-what off for us. I know several friends of mine couldn't do it. Some have tried, and made their husbands miserable by not supporting them, causing lots of tension. I take pride in the fact that I support my husband the best I can.

As for the kids, the older two are old enough that I can explain that if Daddy didn't work really hard, Mommy would have to go to work all day too, and wouldn't be home for them. Which is true. We sacrifice a lot (including DH working lot of hours) so that one parent can be home full time. The kids love that, and don't want that changed. Plus I tell them that Daddy misses them but has an important job (to make the kids feel better about it). On the days DH has off, I try not to schedule anything and let the kids play with him. They go to his office sometimes, and email him during the day.

It is a bummer, and I wish he could work less and still pay the mortgage, but we live in an expensive area that we love. Anyway, I certainly understand! Try not to take on too much, and good idea getting the pre-made cookies!

 

[CleveRocks]

Well, DH is one of the most supportive husbands and dads out there. Sincerely he really is. And the problem at work wouldn't hold because he does support and development for a national commercial loan application. So, there is no one on his team in his office, but that doesn't mean that people in other parts of the country are not depending on him to fix what is not working. So, he really is stuck.

Trust me, this man is NOT a workaholic. He would cash it all in and head off to WDW if we could find some other way to pay the bills!

And I know we come first, but part of that coming first is supporting us financially. For over a year he had a job he hated every single day. The stress was tremendous, but he still got up every day and went in because of the fact that we do hold utmost importance to him. He could have just walked away from it all, but he stuck it out. Overall this new job is really a good thing it's just really really bad timing.

Your hardworking, unselfish husband totally deserves a hardworking, unselfish, understanding, loving wife like you. Merry Christmas.

-- Eric

 

[disneymom3]

Your hardworking, unselfish husband totally deserves a hardworking, unselfish, understanding, loving wife like you. Merry Christmas.

-- Eric

Well, thankyou! How sweet.

Juat an update for all of you caring folks who made me cry with your kind words and encouragement. DH did get home at about 4 on Friday. We took the kids shopping and he went in with them in shifts while I waited in the car with the others. That way they could shop for each other and shop for me at the same time. Then we went to Culvers for dinner--we don't go out much so this was a big treat for them--and then went out for about an hour and looked and Christmas lights. After the kids were in bed, about 9, he mysteriously disappeared to "Target" for about an hour.

Yesterday, DH took them all downstairs so they could wrap my gifts while i got some of their gifts organized upstairs. The key here is that I got to stay upstairs alone for an hour. Woohoo!! The day went well even with him having to leave for church by lunch time.

Then today, we had a wonderful day of just hanging out and taking it easy here at home. And the good news is that he got enough done on Friday that he will be able to take his holiday tomorrow and just go in an hour or two early on Tues.

I wanted to thank everyone for the kind words and sympathy. It helps so much to know that I am not alone. And Minkydog, you bring up an excellent point. I am so thankful that DH is here and healthy. Plus, after two Christmases a little while back of unemployment, a good job is such a huge improvement!! Merry Christmas and happy holidays to all of you.