I am so dreading the next couple of days...

[Disney Dork]

This is mainly a vent post, so feel free to ignore if you want. I won't mind. >__<


My cousin is supposed to be getting married next month and my family had been planning to go for a long time. We had already RSVP'd and everything but today my dad found out that he was getting a MAJOR pay-cut at work. The reason for this was because, while his department has been doing fine money-wise, the other one hadn't, and the company had a choice to either start laying off A BUNCH of people from that group or do pay cuts for the entire company and..well...you can guess the rest. ;>__>

The thing is tho, my family is already really tight right now because of the way the economy is and everything. I mean, we're having to cut down on EVERYTHING, it's just nuts. And now that my dad has that pay cut it's down to either

1: We go to my cousin's wedding and I don't go to college. >__>

Or!

2: I go to college and we don't go to the wedding. ;>__>

I feel SO BEYOND guilty. Mainly because...my mom's family isn't the most understanding people in the world. They think that my dad 'came from money', 'married down' when he married my mom and that everything has always come easy for us, which is NOT TRUE AT ALL.

And I know that when my mom calls them and says that we can't go, they aren't going to understand and throw this huge fit and...my mom shouldn't have to deal with that. She's already been through enough junk already.

It's not going to be fun.

 

[Sparx]

wait. what?

is your cousin getting married on jupiter? that is the only destination wedding i could think that would cause you to spend as much money as my college education costs. are you exaggerating or what?

are your parents seriously using your college money to go to a wedding?

this doesn't make any sense.

 

[Disney Dork]

No- they aren't.

My cousin is getting married in Ohio. We had $1,000 set aside to go to the wedding (which would cover gas, hotel, food, dog boarding, etc.), and that is around the amount it costs for me to go to college right now (I'm currently going to a community college- but eventually will transfer to UNT. Chances are, I'm going to have to take out a student loan then.)

Basically, after finding out about the pay cut, they had to choose whether to save that money for my spring tuition or use it to still go to the wedding. Of course, they are choosing to save it for my tuition and my mother is going to call my aunt and tell her that we can't go after all. But- she will NOT understand, because my aunt is all about money and has this idea stuck in her head that everything comes easy for us.

Does it make sense now?

 

[Disney.Ears]

I don't think your aunt could honestly flip out that much.
Not everyone is living so easily & if she doesn't understand that then she has to be a *****. No offense.

If it's that important to have you at the wedding to her, she'd pay for it or help or something.

 

[MickeyisBeast]

That's kinda messed up...
I'm glad your parents are using the money for you to go to college, otherwise that'd be pretty wrong. But your moms family has no reason to be mad, if you cant make it, you cant make it. Things happen, it's life and your mom's family needs to realize it.

I hope nobody treats you wrongly, it would be pretty sad if your family was mad at YOU because you wanted to be able to get an education, instead of go to a wedding. Same with your mom. I'm sorry, that really stinks. I hope everything works out.

 

[Sparx]

No- they aren't.

My cousin is getting married in Ohio. We had $1,000 set aside to go to the wedding (which would cover gas, hotel, food, dog boarding, etc.), and that is around the amount it costs for me to go to college right now (I'm currently going to a community college- but eventually will transfer to UNT. Chances are, I'm going to have to take out a student loan then.)

Basically, after finding out about the pay cut, they had to choose whether to save that money for my spring tuition or use it to still go to the wedding. Of course, they are choosing to save it for my tuition and my mother is going to call my aunt and tell her that we can't go after all. But- she will NOT understand, because my aunt is all about money and has this idea stuck in her head that everything comes easy for us.

Does it make sense now?

okay, that makes a lot more sense. (my tuition is around 4-5 K, so i couldn't imagine what kind of wedding it would have to be for that to be your travel cost)

when people (typically) have a destination wedding, they sortof expect a lot of people to not go. and thats okay. it would take a real bridezilla to feel otherwise about it.

you parents made the right decision in using the 1000.00 for your tuition.

did you fill out your fafsa? that might help next year, if your parents are having a tough time financially. (i got 14k from JUST filling out my fafsa, i think everyone needs to do that.)

 

[Disney Dork]

I don't think your aunt could honestly flip out that much.
Not everyone is living so easily & if she doesn't understand that then she has to be a *****. No offense.

If it's that important to have you at the wedding to her, she'd pay for it or help or something.

You'd be surprised.

Honestly, my mom's family has already said on several occasions that she 'left the family' when she was in college, because she moved out of Ohio to be with my dad. When her parent's died? She was the youngest and not out of school yet, so they left the most money to her.

She went to live with my aunt. What did my aunt make her do? Make her pay rent to stay in her home. And my mom wasn't even out of high school yet at that point. You're talking about people who turned their noses to the sky when my mom's oldest brother was beating her in the backyard and acted like, if they pretended that it wasn't happening, it wasn't.

Chances are, what will happen is she'll bring up Disney. She'll say, "Why did you go to Disney then if you're that tight on money?" and...we didn't KNOW that this was going to happen. We just found out yesterday. My mom's just dealt with SO MUCH already in regards to her family, that I just don't want her to deal with more of that mess, you know?

And my family isn't blaming anything on me. I just feel REALLY bad, because I feel like that's $1,000 they could be using somewhere else.

did you fill out your fafsa? that might help next year, if your parents are having a tough time financially. (i got 14k from JUST filling out my fafsa, i think everyone needs to do that.)

What's a fafsa? I've never even heard of that before...but if it would help then yes- I would definitely like to fill it out.

 

[Sparx]

You'd be surprised.

Honestly, my mom's family has already said on several occasions that she 'left the family' when she was in college, because she moved out of Ohio to be with my dad. When her parent's died? She was the youngest and not out of school yet, so they left the most money to her.

She went to live with my aunt. What did my aunt make her do? Make her pay rent to stay in her home. And my mom wasn't even out of high school yet at that point. You're talking about people who turned their noses to the sky when my mom's oldest brother was beating her in the backyard and acted like, if they pretended that it wasn't happening, it wasn't.

Chances are, what will happen is she'll bring up Disney. She'll say, "Why did you go to Disney then if you're that tight on money?" and...we didn't KNOW that this was going to happen. We just found out yesterday. My mom's just dealt with SO MUCH already in regards to her family, that I just don't want her to deal with more of that mess, you know?

And my family isn't blaming anything on me. I just feel REALLY bad, because I feel like that's $1,000 they could be using somewhere else.



What's a fafsa? I've never even heard of that before...but if it would help then yes- I would definitely like to fill it out.

free application for federal student aid.
google "fafsa" and you'll find the form. it takes several hours to fill it out, and you need your parents tax returns (you typically fill it out every january, for the following fall term)

there is tons of "free money" floating around for students to recieve, and this is the application for ALL of it. it takes your parents income (since you're dependent on them, if you lived alone, you would use your own income.)

for just an idea of what kind of money it can give you, my mom makes 34ish thousand a year, and i got around 14 thousand dollars offered to me from fafsa. i only took 11 thousand of it, because the other three thousand was a student loan. student loans are bad, evil things, never get roped into them if you can afford not to.

your mom/dad or both (whomever works) will fill it out for you, just tell them to have their current tax statements for it. it will ask a lot of long questions, but its actually a pretty simple form. do it EVERY january, and try to get any money they're going to offer you.

 

[Babyjustrun]

Your parents are definitely making the right decision.
And if that's how your mothers family treats you, then maybe they don't deserve to have you around. I'm sure your cousin is nice to you, but if the other people are going to blame your parents for not going to the wedding, then they're not worth your time.

I'm assuming it's too late now to get a job to make that 1000?

 

[pigletgirl]

You shouldnt have to sacrafice not going to a wedding for college. You can get lots and lots of grants/scholarships to help you get thru it all.

FASFA is a great resource as well!

GL with everything!!!

 

[disfreak24]

I feel so sorry for you! My family is going through some economy problems too. dont worry, it will turn out fine. good luck in everything!

 

[imabrat]

I hate this economy. My mom had to quit her job (which, granted, didn't make much but it definitely allowed us to do more and live comfortably) when I got sick, and then the economy started going downhill. My mom hasn't been back to work since and we've been living almost, pretty much, paycheck to paycheck from my dad. My dad doesn't make much to begin with (somewhere around $50-60,000 which is pretty good for not even finishing high school) but it's still been pretty hard to get by.

I totally understand how you feel about the money issue. Quite frankly, your mother's family is in the wrong but really, why would you want to be at that wedding anyway? It sounds like they cut her out of the will a long time ago, I wouldn't be talking to them if it were me. Your parents are absolutely making the right decision, in this day and age you won't get anywhere without a college education. If your mom's family thinks a wedding (which, odds are 50% will end up in divorce) is more important than a semester of college education, their priorities are very screwed up. It takes all kinds, but sadly I wouldn't be surprised.

Good Luck!

 

[Sparx]

I hate this economy. My mom had to quit her job (which, granted, didn't make much but it definitely allowed us to do more and live comfortably) when I got sick, and then the economy started going downhill. My mom hasn't been back to work since and we've been living almost, pretty much, paycheck to paycheck from my dad. My dad doesn't make much to begin with (somewhere around $50-60,000 which is pretty good for not even finishing high school) but it's still been pretty hard to get by.

I totally understand how you feel about the money issue. Quite frankly, your mother's family is in the wrong but really, why would you want to be at that wedding anyway? It sounds like they cut her out of the will a long time ago, I wouldn't be talking to them if it were me. Your parents are absolutely making the right decision, in this day and age you won't get anywhere without a college education. If your mom's family thinks a wedding (which, odds are 50% will end up in divorce) is more important than a semester of college education, their priorities are very screwed up. It takes all kinds, but sadly I wouldn't be surprised.

Good Luck!

WHERE does your dad work?!

my mother went to graduate school and works for the government and doesn't make that much.

 

[imabrat]

WHERE does your dad work?!

my mother went to graduate school and works for the government and doesn't make that much.

He works at, not really local but a small chain, a water-conditioning company. He takes samples of water, tests them for bacterias and stuff, and then treats it. He's been working there since he was 17/18 (he's 47) so he's a bit higher on the command chain. I thinks he's manager or district manager or something.

It's not much where we live. He works in another state because there are literally no jobs to support a family solely in PA. A lot of people here commute to NYC, but a few of the lucky ones only have to go to NJ. The area I live in, because it's had so many transplants from NYC, its cost of living has gone up. In 1995, our house was 60,000. In 2005, you couldn't find a house under 300,000 unless it was a fixer-upper. Everyone around here, if they haven't lived here before 2000, can buy a house but still get government assistance for everything.

 

[Sparx]

He works at, not really local but a small chain, a water-conditioning company. He takes samples of water, tests them for bacterias and stuff, and then treats it. He's been working there since he was 17/18 (he's 47) so he's a bit higher on the command chain. I thinks he's manager or district manager or something.

It's not much where we live. He works in another state because there are literally no jobs to support a family solely in PA. A lot of people here commute to NYC, but a few of the lucky ones only have to go to NJ. The area I live in, because it's had so many transplants from NYC, its cost of living has gone up. In 1995, our house was 60,000. In 2005, you couldn't find a house under 300,000 unless it was a fixer-upper. Everyone around here, if they haven't lived here before 2000, can buy a house but still get government assistance for everything.

oh, that makes sense. the cost of living is a lot lower here. i pay about 600 a month in bills/rent.

 

[Axel]

I think it's great and all that your parents have set aside money for your education, but I think that you should start to pay your own way if you aren't already. The economy is hitting everybody pretty hard. Your aunt would be insane to not try to understand that.

I don't know about you, but I make just about $1k a month, so it doesn't seem that high to me. Of course, my cost of college is also right around $24k and I'm not getting any student aid really. I'm in that special bracket where I'm not smart enough to get a big academic scholarship (I'm getting $500/semester), but I'm not dumb; I'm not good enough at track to get a scholarship (well, I'm not sure about that. the NCAA hasn't cleared my amaturism application yet)-- not that my school cares about any teams other than football and hockey; and I'm too rich for need based aid, but too poor to afford school without it. Life sucks.

Maybe that's making me jaded and all. I've got enough money saved from what my parents started saving when I was a kid, what I've made in the six months I've been working, and what I got from social security to pay for a year and change of school. After that, I'm on my own. Be happy that your tuition is so low.

 

[crazytp93]

College.

An education is more important than a weekend wedding.
I am sure that the bride and groom will understand.

oh, that makes sense. the cost of living is a lot lower here. i pay about 600 a month in bills/rent.

Jeez! You couldn't even live in a closet here for 600 a month!

 

[Sparx]

College.

An education is more important than a weekend wedding.
I am sure that the bride and groom will understand.




Jeez! You couldn't even live in a closet here for 600 a month!

my apartment is a two bedroom and rent is 450. i pay about 15 for water, and 50 for cable/internet, then another fifty for cell phone, and then and usually around fifty for electricity. so thats close to six hundred total, i think.