I am SO ANGRY - Girl Scouts Rant (LONG): UPDATE Pg.12

[sydally9367]

I am so upset right now that I am literally sitting here and my legs and hands are shaking.

A little background before I get into this :My 9 yo DD has been part of a local Girl Scout Troop here in Reno for the last 3 years; there are 5 girls in the troop and they all get along fairly with the exception of the leaders daughter. They are pretty well to do (the leaders family) and have never kept quiet about it, for instance, the daughter gets a $600 allowance when they go to Disneyland..I thought she was kidding, but Mom confirmed it a few years ago The daughter(11) is the creme de la creme of snotty kids; she is nice (I wouldn't even say NICE) when adults are around, but she is completely horrid to my DD when there are no adults around. She tells my DD she doesn't want to hang out with her because she isn't rich like she is; my DD will wave and say hi to her in the hallways at school and DD says she rolls her eyes and laughs; heck, the kid is even kinda rude to me when I try to say hi to her LOL. The Mom (the leader) lets the daughter walk all over her, she screams and rants until Mom gives in and Mom ALWAYS gives preferential treatment to her DD in front of the other girls.

There have been many occasions where the girl scouts have gotten together outside of girl scouts and have excluded my DD; she has been hurt but I just tell her not to let it get her down and to keep being the wonderful person she is. DD has many friends in school, but she is too "nerdy" for the girl scout leaders daughter, so this is why she is excluded. There have been many times where DD has come home crying because all the other girls have gotten together and then leaders DD goes up to my DD and says things like "haha you didn't get to go and have fun like we did", etc. I've made mention of it to the leader, but because these outings were scheduled outside of girl scouts, obviously I cannot control who is invited to those types of functions.

Well today DD comes home COMPLETELY distraught; downright hysterical crying and tells me the girl scouts are going to Six Flags Great America next weekend and DD was excluded. I assumed this was another case of an outside event, but I called the co-leader (who is WONDERFUL) and she tells me "Well, leader DD didn't want your DD to go and it's not my decision, I told leader it wasn't acceptable, but she wants to cater to her DD". I also thought maybe they assumed it would be too expensive for us, but THE GIRL SCOUTS ARE PAYING FOR IT..IT'S FREE. I am BEYOND livid, I started to cry and now I am SO upset, I can't even pick up the phone to rationally discuss this with the leader. Girl Scouts isn't supposed to be like this, it is supposed to be a time these girls remember forever and not for these reasons!! DD is absolutely heartbroken; she won't come out of her room and I can hear her in there crying into her pillow.

I obviously need to talk to the leader once I calm down (which may take a day or two at this rate), my question is, how do I approach the subject with her? I don't want them to include my DD because I am making them, but I really want to know WTH gives them the right to exclude her from a Girl Scout event just because leader DD says so. I know I am biased, but my DD is the sweetest girl ever; she is so kind and loving and yes, she is a little nerdy too, but we love her that way...it hurts me so much that she is hurting and that kids are so darned cruel


Any thoughts?

 

[Chilehead Too]

I would call the council and report this. She has no right to exclude ANY scout from ANY outing. I also would start looking for a new troop.

 

[ducklite]

I'm sorry, that's just inexcusable.

I would call the leader and let her know that you heard about the trip next weekend and need to know the details about it so your daughter can be prepared for it. Play dumb and see what happens. If she says your daughter can't go, ask why. If it's simply because she doesn't like her, then tell her that she really doesn't have a choice, that your daughter is a member of the troop. She might not have the guts to be nasty to you and may give you all the info.

Frankly I'm not sure I'd even let my daughter go under those circumstances. Maybe you could plan something special to do with her that day instead.

I'd also call the council. That behaviour is totally unacceptable.

Anne

 

[floridafam]

I think the leader is way out of line. It's a girl scouts event and she can't pick and choose who gets to go. I don't know a lot about the scouts but what she did was definately wrong.

Both the mother and daughter sounds like real peices of work.

I would call her on it but try not to sound too emotional. Think of something really good to put her in her place because that obviously needs to happen.

Don't bring up anything extra like the allowance. Deal with the matter at hand.

I can't believe how childish it is for the leader to do something like that.

 

[6TimeMomma]

I would call the council and report this. She has no right to exclude ANY scout from ANY outing. I also would start looking for a new troop.

Uh...yea call the council right away.

 

[nannerbadnanner]

I have several thoughts, but I would likely be banned if I posted them! I don't know alot about girl scouts, but who does the leader answer to? I would be calling that person immediately and raising cain. This is just completely unacceptable and beyond rude.

to your DD. I would get that leader kicked out if it was the last thing I did. You just don't do things like that to kids.

I would also TP their house...but I'm just evil like that!

 

[safetymom]

I agree. CALL THE COUNCIL.

 

[nrsldy]

I think there is a governing body for the Girl Scouts I would call them. It sounds like this woman should not be leading this group. She is not a good example for the girls. Is there another troop you could switch your DD to?

I took my son out of a Boy Scout Troop one time because the treatment was not equal/fair. That leader was a police officer I knew well.

Money does not make any one else put there pant's on any differently than we do--- just one leg at a time. unless they have inserted one foot somewhere

I wish you luck, this lady sounds like a piece of work. Your DD sounds like a gem.

 

[java]

Call the council and report her. That is beyond inexcusable and if those are the values she is teaching her daughters she has no business being a leader! How dare she!
I wouldn't even bother with the leader at this point. Oh I am mad and it is not my daughter!
And I would try to get a trip together with her friends to do something special. If you can't afford six flags, I am sure there are other more affordable activities in your area that you can do with them. She deserves a special day. I have a 9 year old daughter and it breaks my heart that your dd is getting shut out of activities that are Girl Scout sponsered events! Request a new troop when you call the council.

 

[jbmom]

Call the council asap. It breaks my heart that your daughter was treated so poorly. I remember the girl scouts fondly as a child. My mom was the leader and treated everyone fairly and with respect.

 

[ilovejack02]

I love the call mom and play dumb.. and then CALL THE COUNCIL.

The problem with the G.S. is they just let any ******* be a leader.
Im so sorry DD is having a hard time with this. Its amazing people let their kids act like that.

I have WONDERFUL memories of the scouts growing up and every little girl should have that experience.

 

[mrsv98]

You absolutely have to report this to the Council. There is no excuse for this and as long as your DD is a member in good standing with her troop, the leader has no right to exclude her. I think the Council would like to know how their money is being spent!

to your sweet DD, that is awful!

 

[kaw1218]

I agree, call the council.
But first calm down. Being that upset won't help. (even though it's hard not to be!!!)

Obviously that leader, should not be a leader.

My oldest DD gave up Girl Scouts because of a 'bad' leader. In our case, my DD was continuously forgotten, not deliberately excluded. But it still left a mark on her.
Try to find a new troup soon, while your DD is still interested.

There ARE good leaders out there. Hopefully you will find one for your DD.

 

[babytrees]

Call the council and report her. That is beyond inexcusable and if those are the values she is teaching her daughters she has no business being a leader! How dare she!
I wouldn't even bother with the leader at this point. Oh I am mad and it is not my daughter! And I would try to get a trip together with her friends to do something special. If you can't afford six flags, I am sure there are other more affordable activities in your area that you can do with them. She deserves a special day. I have a 9 year old daughter and it breaks my heart that your dd is getting shut out of activities that are Girl Scout sponsered events! Request a new troop when you call the council.

I so agree!! I can't imagine how absolutely peeved and shaky I would be if it was my daughter.....I'm seeing red.

Please give your daughter an extra hug from me!!

 

[doxdogy]

Definitely call the council. They will do something about it. Though I would first get it straight from the Leader's mouth that your daughter is excluded. That way she can't wiggle out of it when the council calls her.

 

[chyam]

You need to call the council immediately, and beyond that email the girls scouts of america directly and tell them of what has happened. Girl Scouting is supposed to instill good values and morals, and IMO this woman isn't even doing that with her own daughter. But as far as the outing I wouldn't let my daughter go even if the council steps in. This woman needs to be outed! plain and simple, she has no business leading other girls and teaching them to treat others the way her daughter and she does. Find another troop, scouting is fun.

 

[CEDmom]

You'll never get anywhere with the leader since even the co-leader carries no weight. If you want to push it call your regional director or whatever. This leader should be reported but it's likely not going to make things better for your DD in this troop. Maybe your DD to switch to another troop?

 

[Cass]

Definately, don't even talk to the witch... go over her head.

 

[Nancyg56]

I agree. CALL THE COUNCIL.

The leader cannot pick and choose. The council should be aware that this type of behavior is occurring because your DD may not be the only child who has been treated this way. She certainly is not going to be the last is this woman is allowed to do this.

 

[Disneyland1084]

$600 for Disney? Heck, I'm 27 and don't even spend nearly that much when I go. But I agree with everyone else, call the council. And many hugs to you and your DD.