I am LIVID!!!!

[abarnold]

I really don't know where to post this but I just HAVE to get this off my chest. So I have been busting my rear trying to put together the PERFECT anniversary for my in-laws since it will be their 40th. They can't afford a really nice trip so they would NEVER think of going to WDW. My parents took us this past summer and the kids loved it so much we wanted them to get to enjoy themselves with the kids.

Pretty much I told them that if they could please figure out how many days they wanted to stay either 7 or 10 so I can go ahead with the reservations. He told me today that he didn't know if he would be able to get off for even 7 days. he has the vacation time- but dh says that fil is upset that we aren't inviting my bil and sil. my sil is what you would call "strong headed" and if she doesn't get her way 150% then she calls people names and throws fits. Well quite frankly I want to enjoy myself and since we are paying for the trip I can choose not to invite them- and we can have more fun.

so now all my planning is out the freaking window because they don't want to go without them- but no one will have a good time because everyone has to walk on eggshells around my sil so she is always happy.

So do we pay for an extra 2 adults and be miserable so he'll want to go or do we just plan something else?

Thanks for listening!

 

[mylilnikita]

Plan something else, life is too short for trips with people like your SIL

 

[tlbwriter]

Bow out. Maybe send the ILs on a nice small cruise by themselves.

 

[MommyBuzz909]

Send them somewhere else. If they can't accept your good deed, than don't shell out all of the cash for something as wonderful as WDW!! If my MIL acted like that, I'd tell her something not very nice and not do ANYTHING, but I'm mean like that! )

 

[gibsontrio]

I would say dont invite the sil , tell fil that you wanted them to have time just with your kids , but you can plan something small with them , maybe like a dinner or some sort of event. Let us know how it turns out!

 

[SharpMomOfTwo]

Been there, done that. And now that I've told sis that shes not invited, not only will she no longer speak to me, neither will my parents. But hopefully you will have better luck than me... my family is.... special.

 

[MommyBuzz909]

Been there, done that. And now that I've told sis that shes not invited, not only will she no longer speak to me, neither will my parents. But hopefully you will have better luck than me... my family is.... special.

Sounds like my mom!! Mine will usually huff and puff and will come close to blowing your house down, but never succeeds in actually doing so. She'll just cry in the corner for a couple of weeks and then she justs acts like nothing happened......

Family.....they're such a pain sometimes!!!

 

[Aliceacc]

Plan a nice anniversary dinner at a local restaurant. Save a few thousand dollars and put it toward your next family trip. Invite SIL and put up with her for 2 hours.

 

[DisneyCatMom]

Do I understand this correctly? They expect you to pay for the other 2 adults as well? If so, that's insane. Who do they think you are, Mr. and Mrs. MoneyBags?

 

[tinkerjess]

wow!!! your sil sounds just like mine. its her way our everybody elese will pay. it seems like every other month me and my sil are fighting about something. is your sil your mil daughter if so thats my case also and your mil is always going to take her daughters side trust me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! from my past with my sil is always invite her its better to walk on eggshells and be civil with her than to have everybody fighting. why dont you ask your sil to pay half of the trip for your mil ! why should you pay for everything!!!!

 

[dougsmom98]

If this trip is really about your in-laws and treating them for their anniversary, then I would make them happy and invite your SIL and BIL to come along. I would make them pay for themselves if they want to come though.

Even though I probably didn't say what you wanted me to, I do feel bad about your situation. It stinks when things don't go the way you envisioned.

 

[ajk912]

I agree, if the BIL and SIL want to go..hey, they are more than welcome to buy their own tickets and make their own resort reservations. But if it means that you are suposed to pay for BIL and SIL for your parent's 40th anniversary present.....that's just crazy in my book. It's VERY generous of you to pay thousands of dollars for mom and dad for their anniversary...but how that HAS to include the mooching BIL and SIL..I don't follow that logic.

 

[eliza61]

I really don't know where to post this but I just HAVE to get this off my chest. So I have been busting my rear trying to put together the PERFECT anniversary for my in-laws since it will be their 40th. They can't afford a really nice trip so they would NEVER think of going to WDW. My parents took us this past summer and the kids loved it so much we wanted them to get to enjoy themselves with the kids.

Pretty much I told them that if they could please figure out how many days they wanted to stay either 7 or 10 so I can go ahead with the reservations. He told me today that he didn't know if he would be able to get off for even 7 days. he has the vacation time- but dh says that fil is upset that we aren't inviting my bil and sil. my sil is what you would call "strong headed" and if she doesn't get her way 150% then she calls people names and throws fits. Well quite frankly I want to enjoy myself and since we are paying for the trip I can choose not to invite them- and we can have more fun.

so now all my planning is out the freaking window because they don't want to go without them- but no one will have a good time because everyone has to walk on eggshells around my sil so she is always happy.

So do we pay for an extra 2 adults and be miserable so he'll want to go or do we just plan something else?

Thanks for listening!

Nope, you make the offer (which is beyond generous if you ask me) and then let them decide if they want to go or not. PERIOD!

My brother and his wife are the same way so no way am I traveling to the happiest place on earth with them. you guys would be hearing about me on world news tonight if I did.

As my pastor would say. No One has the right to steal your joy.

 

[momtoBrandon&Jacob]

OMG, if I were to go on vacation with my SIL I think I would hang myself by the second day. My dh once suggested to her that she should come down the shore with us to Ocean City, MD and I swear I think she saw me kick him under the table. Stand your ground and don't let anyone ruin your vacation! Good luck with whatever happens

 

[momtoBrandon&Jacob]

Been there, done that. And now that I've told sis that shes not invited, not only will she no longer speak to me, neither will my parents. But hopefully you will have better luck than me... my family is.... special.

Which Jersey shore are you from?? I have a cousin that lives in Brigantine, a friend that owns a house in Margate, and some others in Longport. I would love to have a house at the shore!

 

[Camno's Mama]

I don't think you should invite them. You don't have to always have the whole family there for things. This is your gift to your in-laws, and a very nice one to boot! Just let your in-laws decide if they want the gift or not, and then go from there. If they don't want it, then have a nice family party.

 

[GothTink]

It's not SIL's anniversary. I say tell the ILs that you want to do this for them, but if they can't, you understand and will let them plan their own celebration...

 

[abarnold]

WOW such quick responses!! you guys ROCK


well I had originally invited them to go along but she said they would have to see because they don't want to support what WDW supports. she then claimed that people who wanted to go see a mouse are stupid . Then she made some other excuses to why not and then tried to put it all on my bil and that's when I decided that I do not want to pay for them to go and have to listen to her. I told dh that I wanted to go ahead and scrap the whole thing and like give fil and mil a weekend at a local B&B. Then save the money for our next trip with my parents the following year for THEIR 40th and our 10th anniversary.

 

[goofyisinphilly]

I am right with you on scrapping the whole thing. If they can't appreciate your effort for them, then just do something simple and call it done.

Last Christmas we wanted to take my in-laws out to lunch so my MIL would have to cook Dec. 23 after church. Well my MIL proceed to say we need to call your SIL and BIL and see if they want to go. Now we were very clear that we were paying for their lunch. It wasn't that we really minded paying for 2 extra people. It was the fact that my dh and I didn't want them to go to that meal. We wanted it just to be the 4 of us. We only see his parents about twice a year.

It was a long weekend. I can't imagine trying that for 7 days. I would probably end up with a divorce.

 

[moepanz]

My inlaws anniversary was in Jan. So I am sure you are not related to me. I had to double check because this sil you speak of well, I guess there is one in every family.

I would not force the trip issue. The one thing I have learned in the past 10 years is that we seem to forget that the parents are stuck in the middle. Yes we hate to see them get slighted to please the sil but if they are are more comfortable keeping her happy you will never change that!!! Took me 10 years and many, many ruined family functions on account of trying to keep the sil in her place. Turns out the in laws just want peace and if the sil pulling her stuns makes her happy and we just go along with it "no fights" they are happy and at the end of the day that is what really matters.

Go out to dinner and save your money for your next trip with your family, besides who wants your sil in Disney any way? Negetive vibes. funny my sil has never been and she has family she visits 2X a year that only live an hour a way. yep never took her 2 kids there Strange? Anti-Disney sil's