I am LIVID!!!!

[momof3littlelilos]

I think the part that gets me the most is that I allowed myself to get excited- and I really should have seen this coming since every time they PROMISE to come down and visit (we are 4 hours away) something always comes up- now mostly with sil and the new baby (which is a whole different rant ) where they don't want to see our kids as much and the kids feel it and it hurts them- that why I was really looking forward to this trip so that way our kids could have some alone time with them. I just want to scream AAAAUUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I can relate to the pain of seeing your children disappointed by their grandparents. We get quite a bit of that...the details are probably entirely different, but it still stinks when your parents let your kids down.

 

[abarnold]

The funniest thing on the competition part on how much they see the kids- I could really care less- because dh is in the Army and we don't get home too often- and bil and sil (it's mils ds and his wife) live 3 miles down the road- so they see they ALL the time. My youngest is special needs and he went through you know where to get where he is today and sil holds that against us and them. The last time we were home she waited until she knew what our plans with il were and then come up with reasons for il to go see her ds. The funniest thing is that she flat out told me that she would prove once and for all which child they loved most and it sure better be her's. As for that I don't care- what I care about it that they don't see it and that they let her control their joy and what they do.

but what else can I do nothing- so as far as I am concerned- I think they are going to get a nice dinner and one night at a B&B and that be that- and HELLO villas with my parents with the money we will save we can go half in with my parents for DVC

 

[flipflop]

The funniest thing on the competition part on how much they see the kids- I could really care less- because dh is in the Army and we don't get home too often- and bil and sil (it's mils ds and his wife) live 3 miles down the road- so they see they ALL the time. My youngest is special needs and he went through you know where to get where he is today and sil holds that against us and them. The last time we were home she waited until she knew what our plans with il were and then come up with reasons for il to go see her ds. The funniest thing is that she flat out told me that she would prove once and for all which child they loved most and it sure better be her's. As for that I don't care- what I care about it that they don't see it and that they let her control their joy and what they do.

but what else can I do nothing- so as far as I am concerned- I think they are going to get a nice dinner and one night at a B&B and that be that- and HELLO villas with my parents with the money we will save we can go half in with my parents for DVC

Your SIL is sick. I don't have a great relationship with my MIL/FIL; my MIL can be a total PITA - that's a whole another thread. My saving grace is my SIL (who is MIL/FIL's dd). I can't imagine having a SIL that acted like the way you have described on this thread.

 

[Aliceacc]

She's a psycho. And the scary part is that she has children, and that their view of the world will be colored by her petty outlook on life.

 

[mickey&minniealways]

How about a family vacation with inlaws for 7 days instead of 10. The money saved by not staying the extra 3 days should more then pay for the bed and breakfast. Let the weekend getaway be the aniversary present. If SIL complains tell her if she likes she can help pay for the weekend gettaway or ask her what she wants to do. That might throw her a curve ball. If she throws a tantrum don't worry. They only last for so long. Then they move on the the next thing that annoys them. We had a problem when our 2 DS's were little. We were taking MIL out for brunch for Mothers Day. BIL refused to let anyone make reservations anywhere. He wanted to wing it. He also has no understanding of the word patience. We would go into a restraunt and then leave because he didn't want to wait anymore than 15 minutes. After about 2 1/2 and 5 resteraunts later I had had it. We were in the parking lot of McDonalds. Both boys were in Tears in their car seats, they were tired and hungry. I looked at DH, BIL, and InLaws in the face. Said am going inside to feed my children they are hungry and then we are going home. If you wish to join us it is your choice. My children are more important then your impatience and its my Mothers Day too. Well nobody has dared to cross me since. It has been Years since this incident. Other than BIL not talking to me for 6 months there has been no backlash. Now MIL has the guilt trip down to an art form but she also knows not to push me. We have been married for 24 years now and we get along fine. Hope this helps. At least you know you are not alone.

 

[Jordans_Mommie]

Sounds like my mom!! Mine will usually huff and puff and will come close to blowing your house down, but never succeeds in actually doing so. She'll just cry in the corner for a couple of weeks and then she justs acts like nothing happened......

Family.....they're such a pain sometimes!!!

My mom is the same way! Except she tries to bully everyone by just being evil and when it doesn't work she will ignore us for a few days and then act as if nothing happened!

It is sad really because my son and I are taking our first trip to the world in a few months and I can't even take her because she would ruin our time there and I wont allow ANYONE to ruin this trip for my baby.

 

[tlbwriter]

Dawn M- she doesn't like the fact that they have the gay and lesbian week

Does it matter to her that WDW doesn't actually sponsor this event, and the only to prevent it (if they wanted to, thank goodness they don't) is to ban gays and lesbians from the parks? Or perhaps she wouldn't have a problem with that.

 

[bedillamouse]

Holy Cow!!! I'm glad you've decided not to do the trip with your IL....and to be honest I'm glad your SIL doesn't "support" Disney cuz I would hate to run into her at the parks. I'm sure she would not be a pleasant person to be around at WDW. And the comment about who your IL's love better is insane!!! At least you live 4 hours from them and not in the same town.
sorry you have to go through this!

 

[abarnold]

to her it wouldn't matter that they didn't sponsor it just the fact that it happens makes it "bad" enough for her. she is a very closed minded individual that only sees the world her way- and if you don't agree with her then you are stupid. We laugh about the fact that she called me a bad mom because my oldest ds wanted to grow his hair out like Zac Efron and we were going to let him- because a "good mom" would not let her child run the house

I was talking to my dad today and told him what was going on and he brought to my attention that maybe it's not the fact that sil and bil aren't going on the trip but they can blame it on them- that maybe they're embarrassed that we were paying for the trip because my il make more than us- but they have to pay many bills with that so they are not left with much afterwards. I never thought about it that way and he might be right- so that calmed me down a little bit. but I'm still upset that they won't talk to us and let us know that its bothering them and maybe we can work something out so that way they can still go and spend some quality time with their grandkids.

 

[RMulieri]

i would scrap the trip.Send you inlaws on a nice weekend by themself.If your Sil doesn't want to support Disney, tell her disney don't want her there anyway Don't confront SIL any further then you need to.If your mil and fil ask why you scrapped the trip , feel free to tell them your thoughts.To the Op I can sympathize...MY SIL is a nutcase...Talking to her is like talking to a brick wall.Nobodies opinion but hers counts, and if she says it it HAS to be true.My whole family walks on eggshells around her...except me If I had to vacation with her, well let's just say... I would rather eat me own arm. Behind her back my mom calls her Queenie,because that is what she thinks she is..good luck

 

[jacobsmom]

My in-laws are more like out-laws for the most part. I would still invite them to come along, but sil and bil would have to pay for themselves. (This in and of itself would send mine running. ) We invite ours (even thought we don't get along), and they bow out constantly! This way you've invited them.... If they throw a fit, turn it into a what not to do thing... just watch the melt down, feel free to turn on some music for the kids and yourself and watch the show! Keep in mind---it's not about sil & bil anyway!!!

 

[chrisw127]

Your SIL sounds like a charmer. I would avoid her like the plague. Maybe David Duke is running a summer camp this year for bigots? You could send her free of charge.

Go and enjoy your vacation with your parents--they sound like they make up for the not so great side of the family.

 

[abarnold]

okay now THAT made me laugh!!!

 

[crusoe2]

OP, my sil invited herself and bil and mil on our trip last year. My kids were really excited about it so I tried to make the best of it in spite of some misgivings. Everyone paid their own way but I did all the planning. I had already pretty much planned the trip like I wanted it but went back and made changes so that we could all spend time together and apart, have some meals together, etc. I made many calls to set up or change ADRs and spent many hours researching and sending information to sil and mil. They insisted all thru this that they wanted to spend time with us and our kids everyday, they couldn't wait to see the kids' faces, and so forth. Well, when we got there, they ditched us. We hardly saw them all week. My kids were confused and disappointed and I think a little hurt in spite of our efforts to make excuses for the inlaws. The kids had really been looking forward to spending time with them - the sil & bil live a few states away so we rarely see them and don't see much more of mil even tho she lives here. And of course I was not happy about having spent all that time planning for them and rearranging our trip for nothing. I tried not to let it affect my enjoyment of the trip but you can't help how you feel. I guess my point is - it would be awful for you to pay for everyone to go, your kids to be excited about going with the grandparents, and then get there and never see them the whole trip. And from what you've said, it sounds like that could certainly be a possibility.

 

[labst60]

If this trip is really about your in-laws and treating them for their anniversary, then I would make them happy and invite your SIL and BIL to come along. I would make them pay for themselves if they want to come though.

Even though I probably didn't say what you wanted me to, I do feel bad about your situation. It stinks when things don't go the way you envisioned.

Agreed - extend the invitation since the trip is to make inlaws happy for their anniversary - but they have to pay for themselves!

 

[hammie59]

DO NOT pay for the extra people. I read your post and felt my blood pressure go up a notch. I have no patience for adults (ie: your sil) who are "bullies" or "brats", whatever you want to call them. You want to do something nice for you inlaws which is so great. I found it odd that your fil won't go unless your sil can too. Talk about looking the gift horse in the mouth...I would never in a million years put demands or stipulations on a free trip someone was offering me. Definitely do something else....

 

[TinkerbellMama]

Every family has one of those people in it... lol

Well, not anymore!!! "That person" in my extended family is FIL's mother (dh's grandmother). She was disowned about 15 years ago because of her crazy, abusive behavior. She doesn't live too far from us, but nobody in the family wants anything to do with her because she is an incredibly mean, stingy, toxic person. Good riddance, is all I can say!!!

ETA: Lest anyone think I'm exaggerating, this is the woman who said it would be stupid to borrow money for BIL's college education because, "What if he dies??" BIL is 23 aand in excellent health, very active, great guy. He very nearly lost his life a few years ago in an accident (completely not his fault), and apparently this nut took that to mean he's a lost cause who will probably die before she does (she's in her 80s). Can you say PSYCHO??? We can!!!

 

[bellebud]

and the only to prevent it (if they wanted to, thank goodness they don't) is to ban gays and lesbians from the parks?

omg... what popped into my head is the bag security people, after inspecting your bag at the table, holding up a picture of a man and a woman and asking each person who they find attractive... your sil would probably think that's a good idea..

your inlaws sound as if they really wouldn't care whether they saw your kids faces in WDW or not anyway - not saying they don't love them, but they're not *that* kind of grandparent... I really think you and the kids would end up disappointed even if just mil/fil went with you, without the whole sil/bil situation.

I'd definitely not go ahead anymore w/ the idea. Give your inlaws a gift you and dh think is appropriate, attend any family functions planned for the anniverary w/ a smile, and be done w/ it.

Then plan your own trip to WDW.

 

[abarnold]

omg... what popped into my head is the bag security people, after inspecting your bag at the table, holding up a picture of a man and a woman and asking each person who they find attractive... your sil would probably think that's a good idea..

I just spit out my drink- that was funny

DH told me last night that screw the B&B that we are just going to get them a nice gift- and I can make their anniversary cake and that be that. He was upset that it got me so worked up- he then said that if we had to go spend a couple more weeks at WDW the next trip we would

 

[tiggeriffic44]

Leave the in laws and YOU can stay at a really really nice place to the same cost.

Make sure you send them a card.