Husband Way Short On Collecting Money; What Should I Do?

[Disneybuckeye]

My husband agreed to be in charge of collecting money for a $400 gift card for a friend. He bought the gift card on 8/3 and as of today had collected $205 (which included his donation of $75). Today he took the gift card to give to the person as it was the first time he saw him since he bought the card. I told him I thought he should wait until he had the other $195 we were owed, but he told me they were good for the money.

It has been over a month since these people promised to give the money. When I promise somebody money towards something I pay it immediately. I don't doubt they said they would pay as it was a voluntary donation and the gift card amount was determined by how much people wanted to give. The problem now is I doubt we will see any more of the money. Should I just let this go and write off the additional $195? These are friends of my husbands and I don't even know how to contact them to go about asking for the money.

It just upsets me as we have three kids in college and are trying to watch our money. I hate the thought that he just gave away $195 of our money.

 

[kathie859]

OP...let your adult DH handle it! If you interfere you'll look like an emasculating shrew and, honestly, it's a problem of his making. Let him solve the problem.

 

[21yankees]

I agree with PP, let him handle it.

Hard lesson but he'll learn he should wait until he has collected all of the money (or if the money stopped coming in he could have purchased a smaller gift card).

 

[Disneybuckeye]

I agree with PP, let him handle it.

Hard lesson but he'll learn he should wait until he has collected all of the money (or if the money stopped coming in he could have purchased a smaller gift card).

Unfortunately this iis not the first time this has happened, so I doubt he will learn from this time either. He knows the $195 is not going to break us, so he really won't push for it and does not consider it a big deal. I wanted him to buy a smaller gift card, but he said no.

Normally I would have made sure he was not in charge, but he got involved with this when I was in Florida with my mother when my father passed away of a massive heart attack unexpectedly. I was way too busy to monitor what he was doing up here and was just happy he kept the kids fed and made sure they all got to the internships ok.

I really just needed to vent. Normally I would have called my mom and vented, but since she no longer has a husband I would feel bad complaining about mine. Plus she would probably try and give me the $195 as she would think it was partially her and dad's fault.

I just keep telling myself I am lucky if this is one of my biggest problems in life.

 

[kaytieeldr]

Is there something he or you both were planning to do or buy soon that would cost about $200? Try telling him that has to be put off until he can collect the rest of the money for the gift card?

 

[TiggerTails57]

My husband agreed to be in charge of collecting money for a $400 gift card for a friend. He bought the gift card on 8/3 and as of today had collected $205 (which included his donation of $75). Today he took the gift card to give to the person as it was the first time he saw him since he bought the card. I told him I thought he should wait until he had the other $195 we were owed, but he told me they were good for the money.

It has been over a month since these people promised to give the money. When I promise somebody money towards something I pay it immediately. I don't doubt they said they would pay as it was a voluntary donation and the gift card amount was determined by how much people wanted to give. The problem now is I doubt we will see any more of the money. Should I just let this go and write off the additional $195? These are friends of my husbands and I don't even know how to contact them to go about asking for the money.

It just upsets me as we have three kids in college and are trying to watch our money. I hate the thought that he just gave away $195 of our money.

My DH accepts it as part of the job..........he is always oop
I agree with PP's stay out of it, let him figure it out! Sometimes coworkers/friends come through and sometimes they don't............here's hoping they do.

 

[Disneybuckeye]

Is there something he or you both were planning to do or buy soon that would cost about $200? Try telling him that has to be put off until he can collect the rest of the money for the gift card?

Actually that is a good idea, but he won't spend any money until we start going back down to the lake next summer. He packs his lunch everyday and never really buys anything for himself. The December Disney trip is my idea and he and the kids are just along for the ride. I could cut him off of gas for the boat if he doesn't collect. That is probably the only thing he cares about.

I'm over it now as it is not something I can control and it is not worth getting upset over. It just annoys the crap out of me when people commit to something and then just ignore their responsibility. Thanks for letting me vent.

 

[cel_disney]

I often commit to things in the office setting and need a reminder to give the funds to someone..I never have cash or my checkbook at work so sometimes it takes a few tries for us to remember to bring them to work!! I have been the collector many times as well and this seems to be a problem thats not just limited to me....hopefully now that he gifted the item, he can send a note to everyone that contributed that says:

All - I brought the gift to Bob that we discusased and he really appreciated it! As a reminder, I am still waiting on funds from the following people : sam 30$, Bob 75$, etc...

 

[EllenFrasier]

Do you have the email addresses for the people who still owe money to you? I would just send out a general email "SoAndSo (whoever the gift card was for) was really surprised by the gift card and said he really appreciated our gesture. For those of you who have not paid us your contribution towards his giftcard, please send it to: your address. Thank you! Signed: You and your husband's name.
After this email was sent out, I would let it go. If the people who have not sent in their contribution do not take the hint after reading this, they do not intend to pay. It also helps that you are not singling anybody out - like not calling them and saying, "hey, where's my money?"

 

[SUSIEQ]

hopefully now that he gifted the item, he can send a note to everyone that contributed that says:

All - I brought the gift to Bob that we discusased and he really appreciated it! As a reminder, I am still waiting on funds from the following people : sam 30$, Bob 75$, etc...

Now, that's a good idea!

 

[QuickRewardsBecky]

This would REALLY upset me, too. My husband's the type that would just let the other people off the hook, too, rather than having to ask for the money. But I feel like if they committed to it, they need to pony up.

I think the hubby should write the folks who didn't pay up a note or an email and ask for what they promised to pitch in before any more time passes -- something along the lines of, "Hey, I gave Joe his gift card and he was really humbled, and he thanked us all for our thoughtfulness. Just a reminder to turn in your $x contribution toward his gift at your earliest convenience. Thanks a bunch!"

It may be that the others just forgot about it... or that so much time had passed, they feel a little awkward bringing it up. Or, you hate to think of it but there are people who will get away with what you LET them get away with. A friendly reminder note is totally called for here!

 

[MinnieGi]

As others have said, has your DH reminded those who still owe? Maybe they seriously just forgot if it hasn't been brought up again.

 

[disprincessatheart]

It only took me one time to learn not to give credit like that. A coworker that I knew was struggling was buying our old washer and dryer. He picked them up and gave me $25 and said he would give me the other $50 with our next paycheck. I was on vacation the next time we got paid and then when I remembered (he wasn't in the office every day) I didn't know how to bring it up. It's been 5 years now and I no longer work there... In this case I decided to write it off mentally as a good deed - and a lesson learned! Last summer a coworker got married. As the only female invited to the wedding all the guys at work wanted me to get the gift. I told them that was fine, but I needed the cash first. I gave them two weeks and reminded them a couple times. On the last day 3 of the 7 drove to an ATM at lunch so they wouldn't have to get a gift on their own I didn't mind being in charge of purchasing, wrapping and bringing the gift, but no way was I fronting the cash!

 

[Belle5]

I haven't read all the responses, but I think there is a very important aspect of this that your DH needs to be reminded of in a situation like this. That is that if he DOESN'T ask his co-workers to pay up...they really will lose respect for him. Is that really how he wants to be perceived? He will NOT be taken seriously in other areas at work if he does not show that protecting his family's money is important to him.

 

[wshupnastar]

Without knowing why the giftcard was given, it is hard to say what I would do. Well, other than be thankful that my husband was such a generous person that he isn't willing to let $195 completely bother him. If it truly isn't an issue of money (you mentioned he knew it really wouldn't hurt you financially) then I would remind him that the people still owe, and then I would let it go. It is just too hard to hold on to resentment...I know how it can just eat away at a person.

If the giftcard was for something charitable (like a co-worker who was having a real hardship), I would definitely let it go...and then be thankful I was not in the same position as they were.

Money is just that...money. Whether we have a lot or a little, relationships will always matter more.

 

[Acklander]

Actually that is a good idea, but he won't spend any money until we start going back down to the lake next summer. He packs his lunch everyday and never really buys anything for himself. The December Disney trip is my idea and he and the kids are just along for the ride. I could cut him off of gas for the boat if he doesn't collect. That is probably the only thing he cares about.

I'm over it now as it is not something I can control and it is not worth getting upset over. It just annoys the crap out of me when people commit to something and then just ignore their responsibility. Thanks for letting me vent.

Wow, if he packs his lunch and doesnt spend anything on himself except gas for the boat in the summer, I'd probably let it go. Everyone has something that they waste money on, I'd just accept this as his occasional wasteful spending.

 

[MEM]

I often commit to things in the office setting and need a reminder to give the funds to someone..I never have cash or my checkbook at work so sometimes it takes a few tries for us to remember to bring them to work!! I have been the collector many times as well and this seems to be a problem thats not just limited to me....hopefully now that he gifted the item, he can send a note to everyone that contributed that says:

All - I brought the gift to Bob that we discusased and he really appreciated it! As a reminder, I am still waiting on funds from the following people : sam 30$, Bob 75$, etc...

That's not a bad idea as long as the e-mail is sent to each individual with the amount owed rather than as a group.

 

[Disneybuckeye]

I haven't read all the responses, but I think there is a very important aspect of this that your DH needs to be reminded of in a situation like this. That is that if he DOESN'T ask his co-workers to pay up...they really will lose respect for him. Is that really how he wants to be perceived? He will NOT be taken seriously in other areas at work if he does not show that protecting his family's money is important to him.

No, it has nothing to do with work. It is all college friends.

We did receive another $50 last night, so we are down to $145. The funny thing is the families who paid are the one who are in the worst shape finacially. The one family who promised $50 is driving around in a brand new Lexus, but they are always the last to pull out their wallets for anything. I will try and stay on DH to get the money from them just on principal. I do like the idea of sending out an e-mail to them saying the gift had been given and if they could please pay up it would be greatly appreciated.

I figure I will bring it up to DH next again next weekend if the money doesn't happen to come in the mail this week as I don't want to nag him about it. Thanks for everyone's help. It is nice to know I am not the only one in this boat. Had I been home it would have been send what you want to donate by a certain date and that would have been the amount of the gift certificate.

 

[kamik86]

See in my house when something like this happens (my DH will get games though a retail loyalty site at a discount and let his friends buy them etc) DH knows that the money comes from his money if he doesnt get it back, but then again my DH would want the money for video games etc so he would be sure to get it.

 

[Gigi22]

OP, if your husband doesn't get all of the money that his friends promised to pay, he might consider sending a note to the person who gets stuck with the job the next time a group collection rolls around, "By the way, so-and-so (name names) never paid me back. You have to make sure you get the cash up front from these people." Also, this is excellent reason for your husband to give his friends never to do it again! Once bitten, twice shy.