Husband never shares vacation enthusiasm

[javail]

Allow me to throw a pity party for a moment.

As long as my husband and I have been together (15 years or so), I've struggled to get him excited about our vacations. We've done Europe half a dozen times, Asia, Caribbean cruises, Caribbean all-inclusives, Disney once, and numerous domestic trips.

I LOVE to plan trips in extreme detail, and often have 2 or 3 trips planned out in advance. Right now, I've got our England trip planned for this November/December, and our 8 days at Beach Club for April/May of next year.

No matter what I do, he doesn't get excited until maybe a day or two before departure. Granted, he is a road warrior businessman, so more travel to him just isn't much to look forward to. However, I thrive on researching and planning and love to bounce itinerary ideas and possible things to do off of him, and he just says "whatever you want to do is fine."

It just gets frustrating sometimes that he doesn't share in my excitement until we're en route to the airport, and sometimes even that is underwhelming. I know this is a silly thing to complain about, but I need some sympathy here

Do you have a spouse who doesn't share your excitement? What do you do to amp them up?

 

[Elleshoodat]

Allow me to throw a pity party for a moment.

As long as my husband and I have been together (15 years or so), I've struggled to get him excited about our vacations. We've done Europe half a dozen times, Asia, Caribbean cruises, Caribbean all-inclusives, Disney once, and numerous domestic trips.

I LOVE to plan trips in extreme detail, and often have 2 or 3 trips planned out in advance. Right now, I've got our England trip planned for this November/December, and our 8 days at Beach Club for April/May of next year.

No matter what I do, he doesn't get excited until maybe a day or two before departure. Granted, he is a road warrior businessman, so more travel to him just isn't much to look forward to. However, I thrive on researching and planning and love to bounce itinerary ideas and possible things to do off of him, and he just says "whatever you want to do is fine."

It just gets frustrating sometimes that he doesn't share in my excitement until we're en route to the airport, and sometimes even that is underwhelming. I know this is a silly thing to complain about, but I need some sympathy here

Do you have a spouse who doesn't share your excitement? What do you do to amp them up?

It sounds like he doesn't share your planning enthusiasm but enjoys your vacations just fine.

I say let him be. DH doesn't enjoy the planning and anticipation as much as I do, but that doesn't stop me. I can tell him all the details I want months in advance but he doesn't remember them, so I do the planning (I know where he likes to stay, where he likes to eat, his favorite attractions, his vacation style, etc.) and feed him information on a "need to know" basis -- which usually isn't until we're in the car or on the plane en route to our destination.

Yes, it sometimes feels frustrating that he doesn't share my "excitement," but this is what works for us.

 

[kiramay]

My DH doesn't get excited for any trip that costs more that $100. Lol He gets stressed with the costs, the details, everything. So I do all that planning and budgeting, and then we go and he has a great time. If the planning was up to him, we'd never travel. Good thing I love to plan every detail months (year?!) in advance!

 

[javail]

It sounds like he doesn't share your planning enthusiasm but enjoys your vacations just fine.

I say let him be. DH doesn't enjoy the planning and anticipation as much as I do, but that doesn't stop me. I can tell him all the details I want months in advance but he doesn't remember them, so I do the planning (I know where he likes to stay, where he likes to eat, his favorite attractions, his vacation style, etc.) and feed him information on a "need to know" basis -- which usually isn't until we're in the car or on the plane en route to our destination.

Yes, it sometimes feels frustrating that he doesn't share my "excitement," but this is what works for us.

Yes, you've hit the nail on the head. For me, planning the trip is just as much fun (if not more! ) than the trip itself.

It sounds like I'm not alone in this, but I just wish I could get him excited about our upcoming WDW trip. Telling him about Drinking Around the World in Epcot did get his interest piqued a little bit, though

Thank goodness for like-minded folks on DIS, or I'd drive myself crazy!

 

[BooCar3126]

I swear DH has no idea what is going on with our trip. I talk to him about it and he listens, but shares no insight on what he would like to do, where he would like to go, what he would like to eat, etc. I get no excitment from him. He says he is, which i believe, I just dont think he is good at sharing it! He even asked me what day we were going the other day. I freaked because he should have had it off work already! We leave in 36 days!!!!! He says he did, but I dont know

I say, do your thing and let him do his! When it comes to it and if he does not enjoy it, it sounds like a him problem. He should have put more work into it! I would love my DH to share the excitment with me. I have to share it alone because we cant tell our poor little kiddos about it. They are excited, but not as excited as they would be if they knew when we were going.

 

[Sugar Jones]

My dh does not share my excitement about anything. He's like a zombie and lacks emotion,everyone bugs him about it lol

He does have a wicked sarcastic sense of humor though

 

[RachaelA]

My husband is the same way! But he has fun while we are on vacation so that's all I ask of him (and to deal with me constantly talking about the planning beforehand )

 

[SEA333]

What is there to pity??!! LOL

You get to plan everything the way you want it!

How is that not *totally* awesome?

Do you have kids? Once I had kids, it became easier for me to plan everything because I actually *had* a plan, and DH would always just want to wing it. Sorry, but I am not sleeping overnight in the car or paying $300 for a hotel room because DH didn't do his homework.

Plus...if I plan everything, I get what I want. And then we are all happy LOL

 

[scrapquitler]

Allow me to throw a pity party for a moment.

As long as my husband and I have been together (15 years or so), I've struggled to get him excited about our vacations. We've done Europe half a dozen times, Asia, Caribbean cruises, Caribbean all-inclusives, Disney once, and numerous domestic trips.

I LOVE to plan trips in extreme detail, and often have 2 or 3 trips planned out in advance. Right now, I've got our England trip planned for this November/December, and our 8 days at Beach Club for April/May of next year.

No matter what I do, he doesn't get excited until maybe a day or two before departure. Granted, he is a road warrior businessman, so more travel to him just isn't much to look forward to. However, I thrive on researching and planning and love to bounce itinerary ideas and possible things to do off of him, and he just says "whatever you want to do is fine."

It just gets frustrating sometimes that he doesn't share in my excitement until we're en route to the airport, and sometimes even that is underwhelming. I know this is a silly thing to complain about, but I need some sympathy here

Do you have a spouse who doesn't share your excitement? What do you do to amp them up?

my husband doesn't like to travel, either. I think that for him, a huge part of it is that he feels kind of weird or off kilter when he doesn't go to work. For my hubby, his job and working is just and enormous part of who he is, and when he's not working, he feels like he's missing something. I think it's also because he has anxiety about what might be happening at work without him there and how much mess there might be to fix when he gets back.

 

[mom2t]

My DH doesn't get excited for any trip that costs more that $100. Lol He gets stressed with the costs, the details, everything. So I do all that planning and budgeting, and then we go and he has a great time. If the planning was up to him, we'd never travel. Good thing I love to plan every detail months (year?!) in advance!

Mine is like that too but enjoys the trips once we get there.

 

[EagleScout]

Allow me to throw a pity party for a moment.

As long as my husband and I have been together (15 years or so), I've struggled to get him excited about our vacations. We've done Europe half a dozen times, Asia, Caribbean cruises, Caribbean all-inclusives, Disney once, and numerous domestic trips.

I LOVE to plan trips in extreme detail, and often have 2 or 3 trips planned out in advance. Right now, I've got our England trip planned for this November/December, and our 8 days at Beach Club for April/May of next year.

No matter what I do, he doesn't get excited until maybe a day or two before departure. Granted, he is a road warrior businessman, so more travel to him just isn't much to look forward to. However, I thrive on researching and planning and love to bounce itinerary ideas and possible things to do off of him, and he just says "whatever you want to do is fine."

It just gets frustrating sometimes that he doesn't share in my excitement until we're en route to the airport, and sometimes even that is underwhelming. I know this is a silly thing to complain about, but I need some sympathy here

Do you have a spouse who doesn't share your excitement? What do you do to amp them up?

Are there things that he might really like, either Disney-provided activities (such as golfing, or fishing or the race track experience, or parasailing or something else?), or romantic activities (in particular, without getting graphic, physical/intimate activities?)

 

[Goldilocks07]

Allow me to throw a pity party for a moment.

As long as my husband and I have been together (15 years or so), I've struggled to get him excited about our vacations. We've done Europe half a dozen times, Asia, Caribbean cruises, Caribbean all-inclusives, Disney once, and numerous domestic trips.

I LOVE to plan trips in extreme detail, and often have 2 or 3 trips planned out in advance. Right now, I've got our England trip planned for this November/December, and our 8 days at Beach Club for April/May of next year.

No matter what I do, he doesn't get excited until maybe a day or two before departure. Granted, he is a road warrior businessman, so more travel to him just isn't much to look forward to. However, I thrive on researching and planning and love to bounce itinerary ideas and possible things to do off of him, and he just says "whatever you want to do is fine."

It just gets frustrating sometimes that he doesn't share in my excitement until we're en route to the airport, and sometimes even that is underwhelming. I know this is a silly thing to complain about, but I need some sympathy here

Do you have a spouse who doesn't share your excitement? What do you do to amp them up?

Um, I have the ultimate party pooper husband. NO interest in my enthusiasm, planning, activities or ANYTHING. I'll try and get excited, and he's like "great".
However, if plans aren't PERFECT, and I mean PERRRRFECT and run seamlessly (like that ever happens) he's complaining.
So my hubby doesn't want to participate in planning, yet wants to complain about the plans.

To amp him up, I pray to the travel Gods that everything runs smoothly and no one looks at him the wrong way.

So, I feel your pain.

Thank GOOOOOODNESS for the Disboards!!!! My only outlet! No one in my family or circle of friends loves Disney like I do! Well, except my 2.5 year old.

 

[ktrask]

Yeah...my husband is the same way.

He says he won't be excited until just a couple of days before. He will say however that he thinks I'm nuts doing so much planning ahead. He had no idea that had I not done the planning things would not be so easy when we are there.

He will have a great time when we are there, but I don't think he'll realize how much work went into making an easy vacation for us when we get there.

 

[Goldilocks07]

Yeah...my husband is the same way.

He says he won't be excited until just a couple of days before. He will say however that he thinks I'm nuts doing so much planning ahead. He had no idea that had I not done the planning things would not be so easy when we are there.

He will have a great time when we are there, but I don't think he'll realize how much work went into making an easy vacation for us when we get there.

EXACTLY. My husband and MIL (taking her on this trip, patting myself on the back!) kinda zone out and get a glazed look when I talk about it. My MIL tonight (as I was getting excited and told her I'd email our schedule to her) was just like, "no need to send me an itinerary, you just tell me what to do once we get there and I'll do it." LMAO! I wish my husband were that laid back about the plans once we get there!

 

[Filomali]

Our first WDW trip is coming up this Saturday and DH has no interest or anything. I made ADR, read a lot about the parks, what might interest our kids, etc. I think he is intimidated with the whole Disney thing. Well, I am too, but at least I'm trying to find information that might help us.

He approves and paid for whatever though, so maybe I shouldn't complain..

 

[rachael95]

Um, I have the ultimate party pooper husband. NO interest in my enthusiasm, planning, activities or ANYTHING. I'll try and get excited, and he's like "great".
However, if plans aren't PERFECT, and I mean PERRRRFECT and run seamlessly (like that ever happens) he's complaining.
So my hubby doesn't want to participate in planning, yet wants to complain about the plans.

To amp him up, I pray to the travel Gods that everything runs smoothly and no one looks at him the wrong way.

So, I feel your pain.

Thank GOOOOOODNESS for the Disboards!!!! My only outlet! No one in my family or circle of friends loves Disney like I do! Well, except my 2.5 year old.

My DH hates planning, but wants me to have a plan because he stresses about getting lost, not having ressies, etc. Sometimes he'd complain if something went wrong, but if it's something that isn't perfect, sometimes I'll say, "yeah, I thought that was going to happen." and he's fine with it. It's almost like, as long as one of us knows what the plan is, he's happy. Maybe you can tell your DH, "I've planned three things to go wrong on this trip. You'll have to figure out what they are." Then, if nothing goes wrong, you can enjoy his nitpicking he'd do anyway, but if something does go wrong, you're covered.

Or maybe just tell your husband you have the plans and you'll let him know what things are as they happen. So if something off plan happens, as long as you are acting like you expected it, you're golden.

When my DH had a job that required a ton of travel, he hated the idea of us traveling anywhere because he didn't want to even think about the logistics.

 

[GotLabradors]

We should start a whole new group on the boards. My dh only gets excited about our trips to Hatteras because it will be packed with fishing. He wants to take the kids to WDW because he thinks the kids will love it and should get to go if we can swing it. He's never been, either. However, amusement parks are definitely not his favorite thing. I've floated the idea of me and the kids going w/o him because I'm not sure if he will have any fun. I know what to expect out of this vacation. The kids will be thrilled. DH will probably be ready to go home after 2 days and think that the trip won't be worth the money no matter how happy the kids and I will be for getting to go.

I'm thinking I might have to just settle for a really nice, new Mickey Mouse watch.

 

[armmom]

My DH just hated the planning part of all of it. He just kept saying "I don't care what you plan. Just tell me when to show up." He doesn't get that you can't just walk into O'hana's on a Friday night and get a table for 6 in ten minutes....dream on buddy! He gets tired of hearing about the what do ya wanna do and where do ya wanna eat type things. Even the where do ya wanna stay questions tick him off! I have learned to go with it. We only go once every 2 to 3 years and he is wonderful when we get there. But I also remind him, if you don't help plan...you don't get to complain.

 

[alabamagirl]

He pays, I plan. Works for us!

 

[Leighbra]

I always thought my husband was like this, until he planned our trip to Yellowstone.

OMG! It was an amazing trip! He planned everything, rest stops in cool places, etc for the whole 10 days & it was all perfect. We had such a great time & he stuck to a very reasonable budget for such a long road trip.

When I really thought about it, I realized that when he asks me to plan a part of something he's planning, I feel lost. Like I'm going to screw up the whole thing, because I wasn't the one researching everything & putting hours into it.

Then I realized that's how HE FEELS when I'm planning the majority of a trip & I ask him to pick a hotel for a night, or something. You'd hate to screw up something the other person put so much thought into.

I still get frustrated with his "Whatever! Whatever you choose is fine!" sometimes, because some input takes some of the weight off your shoulders if something goes wrong. haha Sometimes planning something together is really hard & makes me feel like I'm just wasting my time, looking at something he's already dismissed. I'm guessing he feels the same way.