How would you react if your husband said

[KelNottAt]

Maybe the biggest question is, why are you asking us on a DVC forum?

It was an accident. I thought I was on the regular community board, not the DVC community board.

 

[Lesley]

Its probably a good thing that your dh feels he can be honest with you. You know you're thin. I think you also may know that thin isn't necessarily healthy. Then again, you don't need tons of muscle to be healthy either. I also think the comment about being out of proportion is probably off base. The typical bodies we see on tv, in movies and magazines are unrealistic in their proportions compared to most people. Women in general do have larger bottoms and smaller tops (well, arms & shoulders....other parts vary). Proportion has much more to do with your frame than what you're carrying upon it.

If you're interested in persuing active interests of your own this seems like the perfect opportunity to tell your dh that he needs to take over sometimes so you can do so. I know this is challenging. I've been wanting to take a weekly yoga class since the beginning of the year. I've made it there twice!

Good luck.

 

[erikthewise]

Whatever you do, do it for yourself, not to satisfy him. Exercise/weight control to please someone else just leads to resentment, especially if they don't appreciate it when you meet their goals! Doing it for yourself (or not) is better.

Of course just ignoring him seems by far the best option here.

 

[fkj2]

It was an accident. I thought I was on the regular community board, not the DVC community board.

Well, exercising to get in shape will make you better able to climb the steps at OKW (after all, few buildings have elevators there, and just make sure you request a view on the top floor), walk the parks (AK's a killer for me), climb on and off those attractions (you got to get those legs moving to get on and off Splash Mountain) or you can consider doing the Disney Marathon. Oh, and I understand the Boardwalk is a great place to jog.

There, there's a DVC connection for you.

 

[lllovell]

When I first read this, I was not sure what to make of it until you posted again and mentioned that hubby is a fitness kinda guy. I suspect that his comments were based on what he thought was an honest answer to your question. I am sure he wasn't saying it to hurt your feelings, but if his delivery DID hurt your feelings then say so. Explain how his comments made you feel, but also give him credit for answering you and not simply lying to make you feel better. Communication, communication, communication!!!

I agree with lots of posts here that you finding time for you would be a good thing. I don't always do it, but when I do make time to exercise, I feel SO much better in all ways. Your schedule sounds like most of ours, but I think you need to consider that if hubby can find time to work out, then there has to be time in there for you as well. Sit down with him and talk through your schedules and see if you can eek out even 30 minutes to walk once a day and you would feel so much better about tackling that big list of things that you are responsible for everyday. Yes - I do believe in super moms. I also think that most dads would be super dads if we gave them the chance, gave them some responsibility and backed off and let them actually do the work, and if we ASKED for time for ourselves from time to time. (I am soooo guilty of not doing any of those things.)

Good luck. Talk to hubby. Get yourself where running up some stairs feels GOOD, not breathtaking for the wrong reasons!

 

[keishashadow]

Really enjoying this thread - had to add my 2 cents worth.

As one who braved the pool area at Universal (HRH), it takes a certain confidence to expose your body flaws (real or imagined) in a setting where most of the guests were young and in great shape. I actually enjoyed watching the parade of hot young things, reminded me of my youth. I'm quite sure my DH really enjoyed it.

I'm not quite Pooh-like, but the years have added a certain "maturity" to my figure. I certainly need to shape-up. Sometimes I think the only reason I try to walk several miles each day is to stay in shape for the FL amusement parks.

I do not expect to compete physically with 20-something girls. I'd like to think that my DH is now more in love with my essence as opposed to my physical attributes. Youthful beauty does fade, love hopefully grows stronger. I know I need to exercise more, and will do so when I am motivated.

It all comes down to your own self image. Be happy with yourself and within your family. Life is too short, enjoy the ride.

 

[DaveT1]

I think you should post some pictures and do a poll to settle it.

 

[patsal]

Did you ask for comments or were they unsolicited? If you asked you want him to be honest right? If you didn't then he shouldn't have said anything. Spouses should be mutually supportive of one another, reguardless. My sister is having a problem with her husband--he is sucking the self esteem out of her --it's a means of control and not a healthy one.

 

[twinklebug]

OP

IMHO, you sound just beautiful the way you are, but if you'd like to improve your DH's image of you I highly recommend you enroll in an hour a week self defense course. Then, after getting a good grip on the techniques, ask him again of his image of you... then, regardless of his answer, line him up and BRING HIM DOWN... HARD!

 

[disneyberry]

So what do you think? How would you react to what he said? Thanks.

[SIZE=+0]I would've responded with an equally detailed nitpicky analysis of what he needs to work on to improve his body. [/SIZE]

 

[RweTHEREyet]

I would have shown him my driving finger.

 

[anabelle]

I know how you can gain some upper body strength without taking more time out of you schedule.

Push him out of bed.

 

[Wish I lived in Fl]

You are doing great. And could do a little polishing with toning.
Now that i know DH is a fitness nut it makes it seem a little less hurtful on purpose, more lack of tact.

DH once said, 3 hours before the Ball,"You're going to wear THAT dress?"
Had to go out and buy me a pearl and amethyst set of bracelet,necklace and earrings before i would stop sobbing and go to the Ball with him.
He never made that mistake again!

 

[quentina]

I gained 70 pounds since I got married 11 years ago (my husband got jipped...married a hot thin chick, not has a fat, ugly wife). With that being said, I have joined the gym and go atleast 5 times a week. I also work, store manager 5am to 3pm daily. Pick up son at 3:30 pm, 1st grader, come home and it is off to the gym. He goes to the childcare room. At first, I was terrified and felt guily. Now, I think I am doing what is best for him....Hopefully, I will be around to share in his life.

Now, if my hubby ever said to me what I think of my appearance, he would be living with his Mom!! No questions asked on that. Any derogatory comment that is hurtful to that degree is totally uncalled for. Lets just say that we wouldn't be exercising together

If you feel the need to exercise, he will need to help with the child care. If you don't, then don't. You need to do what makes you happy in life. His job is to love and support.

Kim