How would you react if a friend confessed these thoughts to you?/update pg.4

[Skywalker]

A pretty good friend of mine told me last night that she wanted to get something off her chest. Then she tells me that when we were pregnant at the same time (I'm talking several years ago) that she used to pray that something would be wrong with my pregnancy and/or delivery and/or baby, so that the chances would be less that something would go wrong with hers...the 1 in 1000 theory she called it.

um, okay?!

Now, she is pregant again right now so would you write it off to just hormones or something? I just have a hard time envisioning her literally praying that something would go wrong for me.

Now, I know people often hope that the bad things happen to other people and not ourselves, but usually it would be a generic "someone else", not specifically wishing ill on someone.

Anyway, I have no idea why she came out and said this and I don't know what to think.

I would like to talk to her more about it tonight when I see her, or am I making too big an issue out of this? Is this something you would brush off or would it bother the heck out of you??

Opinions would be most welcome, please!

 

[gigglesnort]

that's pretty freaky!!

I'm not sure I'd be okay with that confession....

 

[anewvance]

Wow, that's something i've never heard of before. Is she older? Have risks that would even call for a thought like that? I would probably have her explain further when you see her tonight. I would have to say partially hormones because that's really odd.

 

[Aidensmom]

Hormones, along with the fear that many pregnant women get that something could go wrong with their pregnancy, probably had a lot to do with it. I, however, would still have a really hard time with a friend telling me that. I wouldn't just let it pass, but I wouldn't make a real big deal out if it either. I would tell her that it bothered me that she wished that on me, and give her a chance to explain.

 

[Jennifer S]

That is freaky. What kind of friend would ever do that? I would rethink that friendship.

 

[CathrynRose]

A pretty good friend of mine told me last night that she wanted to get something off her chest. Then she tells me that when we were pregnant at the same time (I'm talking several years ago) that she used to pray that something would be wrong with my pregnancy and/or delivery and/or baby, so that the chances would be less that something would go wrong with hers...the 1 in 1000 theory she called it.

um, okay?!

Now, she is pregant again right now so would you write it off to just hormones or something? I just have a hard time envisioning her literally praying that something would go wrong for me.

Now, I know people often hope that the bad things happen to other people and not ourselves, but usually it would be a generic "someone else", not specifically wishing ill on someone.

Anyway, I have no idea why she came out and said this and I don't know what to think.

I would like to talk to her more about it tonight when I see her, or am I making too big an issue out of this? Is this something you would brush off or would it bother the heck out of you??

Opinions would be most welcome, please!

I think her confiding in you, says a lot. My 2nd pregnancy was not planned, in fact I was about to secure a lawyer and get divorced - and gosh golly - Im pregnant.

I was not thrilled, by any means. I considered options, and decided to keep him (and sooooo thrilled NOW I did - but it was rough)

Now, after the pregnancy I called up my g/f and told her, I was so stressed, and so tired and so overwhelmed, I told her if I had money I swore I would have taken the older one, and just left. I mean, like dropped off the face of the earth - no one could find me - left....

Looking back, I know it was hormones. But I was so grateful to have a friend whom just listened...

 

[mtblujeans]

That doesn't seem like a friend at all! Even if she did think those thoughts, why does she need to tell you now, years later? Something is wrong with this picture!!

 

[Tinks]

I would chalk it up to her feeling extrememly guilty for ever thinking/praying for that. Why else would she tell you? She must realize now how wrong she was and feels horrible.

If she's a good friend, I wouldn't bring it up again. Or if I did it would be jokingly said...".........like the time you were whacked out on pregnancy hormones and wished evil on me?...."

Sometimes you just have to shake your head and wonder.

 

[CathrynRose]

A pretty good friend of mine told me last night that she wanted to get something off her chest. Then she tells me that when we were pregnant at the same time (I'm talking several years ago) that she used to pray that something would be wrong with my pregnancy and/or delivery and/or baby, so that the chances would be less that something would go wrong with hers...the 1 in 1000 theory she called it.

um, okay?!

Now, she is pregant again right now so would you write it off to just hormones or something? I just have a hard time envisioning her literally praying that something would go wrong for me.

Now, I know people often hope that the bad things happen to other people and not ourselves, but usually it would be a generic "someone else", not specifically wishing ill on someone.

Anyway, I have no idea why she came out and said this and I don't know what to think.

I would like to talk to her more about it tonight when I see her, or am I making too big an issue out of this? Is this something you would brush off or would it bother the heck out of you??

Opinions would be most welcome, please!

WHOA! I just read it again.... Hmmmmm.... weird.

I dont know - maybe it is just hormones again ??? Dang.... could it be like when you and a friend diet and you secretly hope she falls off the wagon, which would up your odds of not doing so??

I dunno...........

 

[SpecialK]

Ignoring the fact that I'm a bit offended by the "Is she older?" comment....

I might want to try and brush it off but I don't think I could. How good a friend would be praying for harm to come to you or your baby, hormones or no hormones? What's her motivation for confessing this to you now? It would definitely affect my view of this person.

 

[holycow]

Wow!!! What a confession...and I have to agree with Tinks in that she really must have felt guilty enough to get that off of her chest from such a while ago. I think I might mention it to her since you will probably be having a hard time with her in the future thinking she might be wishing you or your DFamily ill wishes.

yes, I think we all may come to point in our lives that we may wish we could fall off the face of the earth BUT to wish that something was wrong with a good friends baby...just kind of scary to me. Very sad. She sounds selfish in my estimation.

Take care! and good luck whatever you decide to do.

Holycow

 

[NMAmy]

I agree with SpecialK that it would seriously effect the way I felt about this person. I can't imagine wishing ill on a friend or anyone for that matter. I feel that you reap what you sow--if you go around hoping for others to be harmed, you bring that on yourself. Superstitious, I know, but that's the way I feel.

 

[4greatboys]

Sorry thats just messed up. I would never pray something happened to a friends pregnancy so my "odds" would be better. Now I have prayer during my pg's especially after my miscarriage that the baby would be fine but I never would specifically pray someone elses wouldnt be.
I cant say thats really a friend.

 

[MUFFYCAT]

Hormones, along with the fear that many pregnant women get that something could go wrong with their pregnancy, probably had a lot to do with it. I, however, would still have a really hard time with a friend telling me that. I wouldn't just let it pass, but I wouldn't make a real big deal out if it either. I would tell her that it bothered me that she wished that on me, and give her a chance to explain.

I agree with your idea.

 

[Ziva]

I have no clue how I would react but I'm almost 100% sure it would bother me.

 

[DisneyArk]

You said she confessed, but did she apologize and show disgust with what she had done?

That's really terrible that she actually hoped something bad would happen to your baby. I can't believe she would tell you that.

As far as discussing it further goes, what can she say that will make this any better?

I feel bad for you. If someone told me that, it would really hurt my feelings and I would take it very personally. I'm very sensitive when it comes to the wellbeing of my kids.

 

[Drizzo67]

I was going to ask the same thing DisneyArk did...did she even apologize? Was there any remorse in her voice and mannerisms at all? If not, just stay away. You never know what good thing may happen to you that will spark her to wish you ill-will again. If she sounded truly sorry than chalk it up to guilt and hormones and leave it alone.

 

[Jcricket Fan]

It is amazing that some people feel the need to say every thought that comes into their heads.

What positive could come from a revelation like this...years later. Homones or not adult people need to learn that some things are better kept to themselves. How nice for her to cleanse her soul and drop this in your lap.

Because you asked how we would react: I would ask why she felt the need to share something like this. I also would reconsider my relationship with a "friend" who would share something like this. It's one thing to have negative thoughts (hormones or not) but to share them with the intended party...wishing harm...I tend to look for friends who wish me well not harm!
Our relationship would definatly be seen in a new light and probably not continue.

Colleen

 

[robinb]

It sounds like she thought if the 1 in 1000 thing happened to a person she knew, she would be "safe". That's pretty crazy, but some pregnant women think and do crazy things. My guess is that she realized that it was crazy thinking after she gave birth and now that she's pregnant again she is having the same thoughts. Instead of giving into them, she came clean with you. I think it's a good step for her and that you shouldn't take the crazy thinking personally (although I admit it wouod be hard not to).

 

[Skywalker]

Thanks for your opinions. I can see I am not the only one to find this so bizarre!

No, she did *not* apologize. She just sort of said it in a laughing way like "oh can you believe what silly me did".

But I don't find it something I can treat light-heartedly. I am seriously bothered by this - I don't know how she could think I wouldn't be. It makes me not look at her in the same way again.

Right now I am still torn between
a) asking her to explain more
b) telling her she is a psycho witch and never seeing her again!

LOL.