How would you react if a friend confessed these thoughts to you?/update pg.4

[robinb]

Right now I am still torn between
a) asking her to explain more
b) telling her she is a psycho witch and never seeing her again!

I would pick (a) and give her a chance. You can always fall back on plan (b).

 

[The Mystery Machine]

That doesn't seem like a friend at all! Even if she did think those thoughts, why does she need to tell you now, years later? Something is wrong with this picture!!

Agree. Next she is going to tell you that she secretly wants to sleep with your husband.

I go for option b, but that is me. Wishing ill will on you and THEN telling you years later is not only selfish but creepy. Reminds me of a horror movie.
In fact she could still be thinking things like that. Secretly injure your child so hers is "spared".
I could never trust her again.

 

[DisneyJen0504]

That is freaky. What kind of friend would ever do that? I would rethink that friendship.

I agree!

 

[Skywalker]

In fact she could still be thinking things like that. Secretly injure your child so hers is "spared".
I could never trust her again.

Yeah, I was wondering about that too.

What if she hears some statistic like "1 in a million kids are abducted by strangers" or something is she going to be praying it is my kid so that hers will be safer in the neighbourhood? I am finding it creepy to think about now.

Robin, LOL about having plan b as a fallback option.

The more I think about it, it is even bothering me more. Some of you are sounding so much more forgiving than I think I can be, I am sad to say.

 

[horseshowmom]

That's a very strange confession. I can't imagine anybody ever praying for such a thing. I think she would make me more than a little bit uncomfortable.

 

[Snoopymom]

Wow, she must not believe in that whole what goes around...karma thing.

Could it be something serious with her hormones, like post partum depression, but not so post? Mabye she should talk to a professional?

I'd suggest it, and at the very least it would let her know that you're concerned/bothered.

I had a paranoid pregnant "friend" ask me in detail what a miscarriage felt like right after I had one, and later when I told her we were discussing adoption, she questioned me on how I could love an adopted child ....so I understand that sometimes there's no excuse and you're better off without those kinds of self absorbed "friends".

 

[mommaU4]

I think that's a very serious comment to make, hormones or not. To wish ill will on someone's baby is almost worse than wishing it on them. I say that because I know I'm way more protective of my kids and I can handle it when something bad happens to me, but hate to see my kids suffering in any way.

So do you see why I say it's almost worse. I don't know what to tell you. I do think you need to explore this further. Don't just let it drop. And keep your guard up when she's around. Good luck. That's a toughie.

 

[WeirdEyes]

That is freaky. What kind of friend would ever do that? I would rethink that friendship.

I think the same thing!!! Wow! Who needs enemies with friends like that? Good luck!

 

[SeeDisney]

I'm trying to put myself in your friend's shoes to deliberating "pray" for something to go wrong and I just don't get her....................

But I admire her confession.

I would never "pray" for something horrible to go wrong with someelse's situation.'

She may have some unresolved insecurities deep inside her.

Good luck to your conversation and let us know what happens.

I'm bugged out about your friend.

 

[lil mermaid]

Wow, I don't know what I would do if my friend told me that!

In some ways though, I can see having thoughts like that when you are pregnant. Those hormones can do crazy things. When I was pregnant with DD after having had a miscarriage, I was really scared that something would happen with the pregnancy. I would often hope and pray that I wasn't the 1 in 1000 or whatever, but that someone else was instead. I can't say that I ever had those thoughts about a friend, though.

I don't know why she felt like she had to tell you, either. I think she should have kept it to herself.

I'm trying to put myself in your friend's shoes to deliberating "pray" for something to go wrong and I just don't get her....................

But I admire her confession.

I would never "pray" for something horrible to go wrong with someelse's situation.'

=

But why admire her confession? What good does it possibly do the OP to hear that her friend had these thoughts? If she was really a good friend, she would have kept it to herself and not burdened the OP with it. Maybe the friend "feels better" now, but now the OP feels bad!

 

[mickeyfan2]

I would just write it of to hormones and a new mom's worries. She did not really wish you and your baby ill will. The thought just put her mind at ease.

 

[Disney Doll]

I'd look for a new friend. That is bizarre and I'd be afraid to be around her.

 

[OceanAnnie]

Agree. Next she is going to tell you that she secretly wants to sleep with your husband.

I go for option b, but that is me. Wishing ill will on you and THEN telling you years later is not only selfish but creepy. Reminds me of a horror movie.
In fact she could still be thinking things like that. Secretly injure your child so hers is "spared".
I could never trust her again.

I agree with MM. She's out there. Sounds like something from the twilight zone.

How did the conversation even go? How do you go from,"I was wishing the very worst to happen to you and your unborn child...", (and no apology) to another topic of discussion?

Even giving the extreme benefit of the doubt, I don't think I'd want someone in my life that would wish me or my child harm. You know the saying, "With friends like that..."

Good luck with this. That's the craziest thing I've heard in a while.

 

[Frantasmic]

My advice?

Tell her that 20 percent of people's friends change after 15 years and her time is UP! You are dumping her to make way for others who haven't wished ill to you and your family, just in case.

 

[Hillbeans]

A pretty good friend of mine told me last night that she wanted to get something off her chest. Then she tells me that when we were pregnant at the same time (I'm talking several years ago) that she used to pray that something would be wrong with my pregnancy and/or delivery and/or baby, so that the chances would be less that something would go wrong with hers...the 1 in 1000 theory she called it.

um, okay?!

!

I would definitely question my friend about that....how hurtful. If those are her true feelings it sounds like she's not a very good friend.

Personally, i'd be extremely upset if a friend said that to me.

 

[A4Disney]

A pretty good friend of mine told me last night that she wanted to get something off her chest. Then she tells me that when we were pregnant at the same time (I'm talking several years ago) that she used to pray that something would be wrong with my pregnancy and/or delivery and/or baby, so that the chances would be less that something would go wrong with hers...the 1 in 1000 theory she called it.

um, okay?!

Now, she is pregant again right now so would you write it off to just hormones or something? I just have a hard time envisioning her literally praying that something would go wrong for me.

Now, I know people often hope that the bad things happen to other people and not ourselves, but usually it would be a generic "someone else", not specifically wishing ill on someone.

Anyway, I have no idea why she came out and said this and I don't know what to think.

I would like to talk to her more about it tonight when I see her, or am I making too big an issue out of this? Is this something you would brush off or would it bother the heck out of you??

Opinions would be most welcome, please!

I'd definitely stop being friends with her,she's nuts!My best friend lost a baby mid way through her pregnancy a few years ago,she went in for the big 20 wk ultrasound and the baby had died.It was so traumatic we all cried right along with her....For her to have those thoughts is bad enough but then to share them?She's no friend..

 

[A4Disney]

Thanks for your opinions. I can see I am not the only one to find this so bizarre!


b) telling her she is a psycho witch and never seeing her again!

LOL.

Plan B sounds good!What did your dh say?

 

[froglady]

What a selfish thing to do! She's shifted the weight of her guilt onto you. Now she can go blissfully on her way since she confessed while you continue to carry the hurt. This is one of those things that someone should take to her grave; no good can come out of confessing it, and it wasn't hurting anyone but the perpertrator.

 

[goofygirl]

Well, that's certainly a different brand of logic!

What I don't get is why she wished it on YOU? She could of wished it on some random evil person instead. Not that it would have made a difference anyway. If its gonna happen, its gonna happen.

If she's a good friend otherwise, I'd hang on to her. You can't say she's boring, lol! Besides, like you said, it was years ago she wished that.

 

[Sheree Bobbins]

These are very upsetting comments. How could she not know their effect on you? Does she care about well-being even now if she could say such hurtful things, let alone think them. This is not a friend, in my opinion. It's gotta hurt double for you, finding this out and then giving up what you thought was a friendship. These are tough words I know, but you asked for input. Good luck in deciding what to do.