How would you react if a friend confessed these thoughts to you?/update pg.4

[Sparx]

ok, first off, she seems pretty freaky. But with her confiding in you, maybe she is expecting a big karmatic reward. i.e. her baby being ok.

I know, weird, but thats the only sense I can make out of it.

 

[mamaprincess]

Maybe she was having a psychotic episode

 

[dis ms.]

Wow! Is she always a selfish psycho, or just when she's pregnant?

If she's a good friend otherwise, I'd hang on to her.

In my book, praying for something bad to happen to my unborn child would negate any "good friend" qualities she had.

Someone said the friend probably didn't really wish ill will on the OP's baby, but just had those thoughts to put her own mind at ease. Even so, that's beyond selfish and I just couldn't forgive such a thing. Especially if, like the OP stated, the friend laughed it off when she confessed it.

Why would someone pray for such a thing to happen to a friend? And why in the heck would they tell that friend?

F-R-E-A-K!

 

[the kabuki]

What a fruitcake, think I'd be staying away from her!

 

[nwdisgal]

That is freaky. What kind of friend would ever do that? I would rethink that friendship.

Yep. I agree. I had a friend who was similar to that years ago, and she's no longer a friend, and I sure don't miss her.

 

[Tasha+Scott]

Wow, that is creepy! I remember during my pregnancy I worried about things like possible miscarriage, preterm labor, stillborn baby, and many other scary thoughts! I was also very hormonal and did some crazy things as well as cried at the drop of a hat! BUT I NEVER prayed for something terrible to happen to someone else, especially not someone I knew and cared about! And the idea that she could even think of wanting something bad to happen to an unborn innocent child is just crazy!

I could not forget that and she would completely creep me out after that and I would be honest with her and let her know that whether she felt bad about it or not I could not continue the friendship. That is just too hurtful and bizaare and I would wonder if she would be that way about something else in the future. She simply does not sound like any kind of friend I could possibly want or need!

 

[dg39]

I guess everyone prays for different things. The normal prayers are for good health and happiness. What she prayed for, IMHO is nothing short of disgusting. Unless this person is mentally challenged, there's no excuse, in my book, for what she said to you. I would wish her the best, and stay away.

 

[Skywalker]

Just thought I would give an update here...

I saw her the other night and I went with my gut instinct and told her that I was just too uncomfortable with the thought of what she'd told me, and that I think I will be keeping my distance.

She got quite upset at me for "punishing" her for "tellling the truth" and that it was "no big deal" because me and my children are fine!

I debated it for a while because she really was a pretty good person I think...however when I looked into my sons eyes, just the thought of someone, anyone, out there wishing something bad to happen to him...well I don't know. It made my blood boil and I knew that she would not be someone I would trust anymore.

She tried to make me feel like I was blowing it all out of proportion but I don't think I am...a lot of your posts helped me confirm that.

And to those of you who would try and forgive and forget...all I can say is that you have far greater generosity of spirit than I could ever have. I admire it, I really do, and you sound like loyal friends to have.

What a bizarre end to an otherwise pretty good friendship.

 

[Wish I lived in Fl]

I have never prayed for something bad for someone else. That just seems WRONG.

Even though her thoughts were stupid and superstitious, they were malicious.

 

[poohbear1029]

Just thought I would give an update here...

I saw her the other night and I went with my gut instinct and told her that I was just too uncomfortable with the thought of what she'd told me, and that I think I will be keeping my distance.

She got quite upset at me for "punishing" her for "tellling the truth" and that it was "no big deal" because me and my children are fine!

I debated it for a while because she really was a pretty good person I think...however when I looked into my sons eyes, just the thought of someone, anyone, out there wishing something bad to happen to him...well I don't know. It made my blood boil and I knew that she would not be someone I would trust anymore.

She tried to make me feel like I was blowing it all out of proportion but I don't think I am...a lot of your posts helped me confirm that.

And to those of you who would try and forgive and forget...all I can say is that you have far greater generosity of spirit than I could ever have. I admire it, I really do, and you sound like loyal friends to have.

What a bizarre end to an otherwise pretty good friendship.

I dont see anything wrong with what you did. What would she have done if something had happened to your son?

You might be able to forgive her at some point, but that still doesnt mean that you have to surround yourself with someone who would think and pray against your happiness and health! I cant imagine actually praying for someone else's bad fortune even if they were someone I didnt like!!!

 

[Jennifer S]

I think you did the right thing. It's just too weird and a little scary to have a "friend" like that. Now maybe you'll find a really great friend or have more time for your other friends.

 

[SC Minnie]

I would have done the same thing. Anyone that wishes harm to you is not a friend nor a person to be associated with. Even if it was not meant as malicious.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

She got quite upset at me for "punishing" her for "tellling the truth" and that it was "no big deal" because me and my children are fine!

Her reaction proves you did the right thing. What an awful person!

 

[4greatboys]

I think you did the right thing as well. She's a freak and your better off without her.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

She sounds like a bit of a nutcase. Even if she had of had those thought, she should have kept it to herself, knowing that they weren't exactly thoughts from a rational person (or at the very least, at a rational time in her life). I'm sure that we've all had thoughts that we wouldn't share with others (maybe not this bizarre, though), but the fact that she shared hers like they were normal makes me wonder about her.

 

[minkydog]

She got quite upset at me for "punishing" her for "tellling the truth" and that it was "no big deal" because me and my children are fine!

When one "tells the truth" one has to be ready to take the consequences. What she did was unbelievably cruel. It is a "big deal" because those words didn't come from a total stranger, they came from someone to whom you had given your confidence. Distancing yourself in the relationship is not "punishing" her, but protecting yourself. True friends don't intentionally hurt each other, even when "telling the truth."

 

[robinb]

I saw her the other night and I went with my gut instinct and told her that I was just too uncomfortable with the thought of what she'd told me, and that I think I will be keeping my distance.

She got quite upset at me for "punishing" her for "tellling the truth" and that it was "no big deal" because me and my children are fine!

snip

And to those of you who would try and forgive and forget...all I can say is that you have far greater generosity of spirit than I could ever have. I admire it, I really do, and you sound like loyal friends to have.

What a bizarre end to an otherwise pretty good friendship.

Well ... I suggested that you give her a chance to explain. You didn't. You confronted her and essentially said: "You hurt me and now I don't want to be your friend any more." Fait accompli. You set yourself up for her reaction. You wanted to end the friendship and now you can put 100% of the blame on her, that thoughtless witch. Granted, she should have taken the opportunity to say she was sorry but many of us do not turn contrite when someone confronts us with something we did that we know was wrong.

I'm sorry that your friendship ended that way .

 

[laurie31]

Well ... I suggested that you give her a chance to explain. You didn't. You confronted her and essentially said: "You hurt me and now I don't want to be your friend any more." Fait accompli. You set yourself up for her reaction. You wanted to end the friendship and now you can put 100% of the blame on her, that thoughtless witch. Granted, she should have taken the opportunity to say she was sorry but many of us do not turn contrite when someone confronts us with something we did that we know was wrong.

I'm sorry that your friendship ended that way .

Sorry, but I think the friend did it when she chose to reveal her bizzare hopes and prayers. Obviously having something bad happen to someone you know has NO impact on whether or not something bad will happen to you. It's not like there's a limited supply of bad stuff and the quota for your area can get used up or something and to wish something bad on a friend specifically...not some random stranger (which would still be horrible - I can't imagine praying for anything bad to happen even to someone I don't like. To *pray* for that is just unthinkable!) Well, IMHO, she ended the friendship when she told you. What other reason would she have? As someone said earlier, she should have taken that bit of info to the grave.

Sorry this has happened.

Laurie

 

[Skywalker]

Well ... I suggested that you give her a chance to explain. You didn't. You confronted her and essentially said: "You hurt me and now I don't want to be your friend any more." Fait accompli. You set yourself up for her reaction. You wanted to end the friendship and now you can put 100% of the blame on her, that thoughtless witch. Granted, she should have taken the opportunity to say she was sorry but many of us do not turn contrite when someone confronts us with something we did that we know was wrong.

I'm sorry that your friendship ended that way .

Perhaps you are right, Robin. But I just reached a point where I can't conceive of an "explanation" that would make me think of her the same way again. I was undecided about how to proceed, and maybe I didn't do the best "friend" thing but like I said, I went with my gut at the time. Doesn't mean I didn't think your advice wasn't good though. Just the more I thought about it the angrier I got...well not even angry so much as hurt and kind of weirded out.

However, if she ever decides to approach me to discuss this, I will certainly listen. I just don't think I will be the one to reach out here.

 

[robinb]

Just the more I thought about it the angrier I got...well not even angry so much as hurt and kind of weirded out.

However, if she ever decides to approach me to discuss this, I will certainly listen. I just don't think I will be the one to reach out here.

{{hugs}} I don't want you to think that I don't respect your feelings. They are toatally understandble and valid. I am really not sure that I would do anything differently, myself.