how would you handle this ?

[cepmom]

Well, OP is doing a pretty good job getting rid of all her nasty posts from the past... but she missed a few. and honestly, it's making me absolutely sick to hear how she talks about this poor girl.

An old snippet of a post:

"I am still not doing summers! I grew up with a half sister who was there only for the summers and we still do no get along. I don't want to put my other kids through that, having a bossy older sister all summer. If she is going to be just like her mother, I'd rather not make my kids go thru that all summer. Weekends are small doses and DH and myself are around to supervise but duing the summer, they will be outside together a lot more and the kids shouldn't have to put up with that.

SDD has already been to the point that she has said she hates my DD and told her that I am a witch (with the other letter) and she dos not need to hear that. My boys are getting older and don't need to hear it either. I ahted evry day that my sister was home, holding the older status above my head and being able to do whatever she wanted. She was great to my siblings however. And it's not just me about my sister, my DH can't stand her either. the way she acts and is always trying to one-up me. She is always asking him questions about us to amke sure she is still better than us when we couldn't care less. I'm glad she lives on the other side of the country! I coulnd' deal with her fo more than a few hours at a time. "

Sorry if the above post was already posted in this thread (after 30 pages, I've lost track ) but ugh... 'wicked stepmother' is an understatement.

an I reading this wrong or is the OP referring to her sister in this part, not her SDD?

 

[handinpocket]

I honestly believe the local DFCS should be made aware of the OP and the Stepdaughter's school. This type of behavior is scary and should not be accepted. Everyone knew about that poor little girls' homelife with the prosthetic legs and hearing problems, but no one helped her.

 

[C.Ann]

I don't know enough about you, your DH, your other child (or children), your stepdaughter, why she's coming to live with you, or if you have valid reasons for the way you choose to run your household, so - I'm going to leave it alone..

Whatever happens - or doesn't happen - I hope it works out best for all concerned in the end.. Good luck..

 

[luvmy3]

Not that I am defending OP, but I think (and hope beyond belief) that she is referring to her own sister and not her stepdaughter in this post. However, it does explain a lot of the resentment. It stems back to her relationship with her own sister.

I'm pretty sure the second bolded part she is talking about her sister, not her SD.

 

[mnrose]

I generally do not post in these types of threads (although I find them fascinating to read), but I found I had to after OP wrote that it really wasn't that 30 pages of people disagreed with her, since it was the same people posting. Well, I've not posted in this thread before (or frankly, posted in response to anything OP ever posted before to my knowledge). But, OP, your proposals for your step-daughter are ABSURD. Absolutely ridiculous. I didn't have "rules" like these when I was a teen in the dark ages. 8:30? I let my 10 year olds go to bed later than that. And, mine are allowed (gasp) to use computers and talk on the phone. When are your kids ever going to learn how to handle responsibility if they are never given any?

Your step daughter may be hell on wheels, but treating her like a 9 year old sure isn't going to help. Why is she coming to live with you anyway? It is absolutely clear that you intend to make her life a living hell, and that you don't want her around (from this post and prior ones quoted on this thread). Do her a favor, and figure out another place for her to live.

If you must have her there, I pray that you will consider thoughtfully the many responses you have received, and TRY to see another point of view. Really try.

 

[crashbb]

I'm pretty sure the second bolded part she is talking about her sister, not her SD.

Nope. Definitely talking about her step daughter.

The thread was about the step daughter "ruining" Christmas.

She's quickly deleting her posts in the thread, but here you go:

http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?t=1299836

 

[maxiesmom]

It's that those who don't agree with all of you send me PM's instead of posting here. A lot of these thirty pages are the same people over and over again.

Right.

My heart breaks for your step-daughter. It sounds like the next 2 years are going to test her in ways you can't comprehend. I believe boot camp would be better for her than living with someone who wants to punish her for simply being alive.

I really think you need to talk to a counselor or clergyman. You need some help.

 

[DeluxePrincess]

Nope. Definitely talking about her step daughter.

Wait, you mean this part is directed at the stepdaughter? I thought it was about the sister.

my DH can't stand her either. the way she acts and is always trying to one-up me. She is always asking him questions about us to amke sure she is still better than us when we couldn't care less. I'm glad she lives on the other side of the country! I coulnd' deal with her fo more than a few hours at a time. "

Please tell me this is about the sister!

 

[Mermaid02]

I can't believe she is actually going back and deleting old posts.

 

[crashbb]

Wait, you mean this part is directed at the stepdaughter? I thought it was about the sister.


Please tell me this is about the sister!

Well, I could lie if it would make you feel better...

 

[mjkacmom]

So . . . you post to ask how other people would handle your situation, and when not one person agrees with the way you're handling it that doesn't make you think you ought to reevaluate things? Why bother posting then? There are people agreeing with each other on this thread who would disagree over anything - if one said the sky was blue the other would swear it was red - and that doesn't tell you anything? No one here has anything to gain by getting you to relax the rules for your step daughter. I hope you are just embarrassed that everyone on here disagreed with you and you don't really intend to micromanage the poor girl as much as you've said you are going to.

I agree - I've never seen so many Disers, who are always on opposite ends of an argument, actually agree on something? I mean, if I posted that dd14 has gained a few pounds, so I think I'm going to tell her she's a fatty-fat, and only give her 700 calories a day, and make her run 5 miles on the treadmill, I'm guessing everyone here would agree that that wouldn't be such a great idea, and others would be telling me I'm a horrible mother. Now, after 30+ pages of this, if I came back and said I see nothing wrong with my little diet plan, everyone would think I was insane for not getting it. BTW, she doesn't need to lose weight, and if she did, I'm not saying a thing.