How to wake up a HEAVY sleeper?

[A1D12C123E]

I don't have any suggestions, just here to vent. I'm Dad. My youngest is 21.5. I've just had a scene with him over getting up, which I shouldn't have. He has an important appointment 1/2 hour from now (1:00 pm) and I did start trying to wake him at 11. The scene was at about 11:30. He's locked his door & even used a vulgar word with me which is way out of bounds in this house. I do understand this is his responsibility, really I do, but I didn't act like it an hour ago (it's 12:30 as I write this). He was the sweetest, snartest little boy with everything going for him. Developed anxiety (genetics) and started weed at 14. He's used other drugs but weed is his choice. We are convinced he has exacerbated his anxiety to the max and is deeply depressed. Though he graduated HS with honors, he's had 3 college fails - full ride each time - barely going to class if at all. He's never held a job more than 3-4 weeks. Has totaled two cars in the last 6 months - thankfully, no one hurt. Clearly, he's a mess & has been a major mess for 4 years now. He off & on is suicidal. We've gotten him all the help we can - he does take meds which with weed may make things worse. God help us if we tried cold water or a bullhorn. He's at home off & on so this isn't constant- like a few days once every three months - and honestly this is just to vent, I'm not expecting anyone to have a solution. It's also not for sympathy, I have enough of that for my wife & me. PS Our other 4 kids are fine, thankfully, but pretty much have written him off. And I am truly glad for those of you who have found solutions!

 

[PollyannaMom]

My oldest son (18) is such a heavy sleeper. I have never in my life seen anything like it.

He has to be up and out of bed by 6:00 am for school. I get up at 4:30 for work and start waking him up then. Then for the next hour and a half, between me, my husband and youngest son, we try everything we can do to get him up.

If you know a heavy sleeper or if you're a heavy sleeper yourself, what are some tried & true tips for waking them up???

First, I totally agree with this:

If he doesn't have to be up until 6:00, I wouldn't start waking him at 4:30...If people start trying to wake him at 4:30, his last 90 minutes of sleep are being interrupted over and over. He might be overly tired because he's not getting a full night of quality sleep. I would leave him alone until it gets closer to the time he actually has to be up. He'll get more quality sleep that way and it will be easier when he does have to wake up.

and see that you already mentioned you would try it. I think that's a great place to start!

Most teens are just not wired to be early risers, and many actually have trouble falling asleep early enough to get up early, even if they're in bed.

Avoiding "blue light" screens right before bed is supposed to help as well, but it definitely varies by person. (I can fall asleep with the TV on very easily, but it keeps my DH up. DS gets poor sleep if he plays video games right up until he goes to bed, but he can watch YouTube videos without a problem.)

Have your DS track how much sleep he's getting, and see if there is a pattern.

I like both of these ideas:

How about a very loud, annoying alarm clock set across the room so he has to get out of bed to turn it off?

Also turn on the light

I had a novelty alarm as a kid that was a tennis ball. To snooze it, you threw it at the wall. (Of course that meant that when it rang again, you had to find it. ) And turning on the light in the spare bedroom (across the hall from my DS) works really well when he asks me to get him up.

My brother was a heavy sleeper as a teen, and he trippled up - a regular alarm, a clock radio, and he put his television on a timer as well - with all of them loud.

If your DS has a TV in his room, that might help - hearing voices instead of just a beep, plus it's bright.

These products sound great as well! -

...I got an app for my Android tablet (if he's got an iOS device, I'm sure there's a similar one) called ElectricSleep. It uses the accelerometer on the device to determine when you're in "deep" sleep and when you're in "light" sleep, and sets off the alarm when you're in light sleep. You set it for a time range (like mine is set for 6:10 AM, and it will go off any time I'm in light sleep between 5:55 AM and 6:10 AM) and it will go off during that time range, or by the "hard" alarm time if you don't have light sleep during the alarm range.

...Consider buying a Philips Wake Up Light for him. It's an alarm clock that starts to wake you by slowly illuminating the room to resemble a sunrise. It slowly gets brighter (before you even need to wake up) and then an alarm will sound at your desired time.

 

[Kitty 34]

.....and after five years, hopefully he woke up!!

 

[PollyannaMom]

.....and after five years, hopefully he woke up!!

Oh my gosh, I was totally suckered!!

I was only skimming by the end and didn't notice the dates.

 

[Kitty 34]

Oh my gosh, I was totally suckered!!

I was only skimming by the end and didn't notice the dates.

I kind of figured that....don't worry it happens to all of us occasionally.

 

[Floridaman999]

If he's still sleeping I think we can safely call it a coma.

 

[Cannot_Wait_4Disney]

oooo A zombie thread.

6 out of 10 zombies said eat him.
3 out of 10 zombies said it's nothing a bucket of cold water won't fix. Then eat him.
1 zombie said how soundly do you sleep and started drooling.

So we threw a bucket of cold water at him and got out of there pronto.

 

[Cubbiecakes]

Let him get himself up. He's an adult, he gets to live with the consequences.

Oh... and for all your people who shower at night and just get dressed in the morning: you stink. Literally. Deodorant and/or perfume/cologne doesn't cover it (it makes it a bit worse, really). Bleargh.

Seriously, you stink.

 

[Squirlz]

Let him get himself up. He's an adult, he gets to live with the consequences.

Oh... and for all your people who shower at night and just get dressed in the morning: you stink. Literally. Deodorant and/or perfume/cologne doesn't cover it (it makes it a bit worse, really). Bleargh.

Seriously, you stink.

Speak for yourself. Many people can do it.

 

[PrincessBelle39]

I wouldn't be waking at 4:30 either if I didn't have to be up until 6am. 90 minutes is too much sleep to be losing.

 

[PrincessBelle39]

Oh crap. That's why I should read to the end before commenting. I didn't realise how old the post was.

 

[MrsCobraBubbles]

Sounds like my son. He was diagnosed with sleep apnea 5 years ago. I guess I assumed the two things were linked? Has your son ever been checked for sleep apnea?

It takes me an hour to wake my son up every morning, and boy is it annoying because I'm trying to get ready too and I have to keep trudging up and down stairs, knocking on his door every 10 minutes. I used to just yell until I annoyed him awake but we recently moved and now our stairs are on the wall that we share with the neighboring townhouse. He has an alarm on his phone and a regular alarm clock that he sets to go off at different times. I'm considering a vibrating alarm clock or a daylight alarm clock, I've heard they can help.

 

[luvsJack]

I don't have any suggestions, just here to vent. I'm Dad. My youngest is 21.5. I've just had a scene with him over getting up, which I shouldn't have. He has an important appointment 1/2 hour from now (1:00 pm) and I did start trying to wake him at 11. The scene was at about 11:30. He's locked his door & even used a vulgar word with me which is way out of bounds in this house. I do understand this is his responsibility, really I do, but I didn't act like it an hour ago (it's 12:30 as I write this). He was the sweetest, snartest little boy with everything going for him. Developed anxiety (genetics) and started weed at 14. He's used other drugs but weed is his choice. We are convinced he has exacerbated his anxiety to the max and is deeply depressed. Though he graduated HS with honors, he's had 3 college fails - full ride each time - barely going to class if at all. He's never held a job more than 3-4 weeks. Has totaled two cars in the last 6 months - thankfully, no one hurt. Clearly, he's a mess & has been a major mess for 4 years now. He off & on is suicidal. We've gotten him all the help we can - he does take meds which with weed may make things worse. God help us if we tried cold water or a bullhorn. He's at home off & on so this isn't constant- like a few days once every three months - and honestly this is just to vent, I'm not expecting anyone to have a solution. It's also not for sympathy, I have enough of that for my wife & me. PS Our other 4 kids are fine, thankfully, but pretty much have written him off. And I am truly glad for those of you who have found solutions!

He is self medicating with the weed.

Please don’t write him off completly. He may have to leave your house. But please let him know that you still love him and want to get him help. He may need to be in a hospital, especially when he is suicidal.

Hugs to you and your wife. I know this must be so hard for you both.

 

[Cubbiecakes]

Speak for yourself. Many people can do it.

I can smell it. Nasty people.

 

[LovesTimone]

I would have him checked out at the doctors to be sure there is nothing going on medically...

The alarm clock across the room is a good idea... I was a heavy sleeper, when I was a teen, I have sever allergies and asthma and the med's made me so sleepy that I could not function... It took several years, and lots of trial and error for me to get the right med's... During this time I had a alarm clock that was so obnoxious, it did get me up and across the room to turn off the dang noise...

Does he stay up late, using his phone, lap top, watching TV, gaming talk to girl friends all night long... they can stay up all night with those things and you would never know... this might be part of the problem- not going to sleep when he goes to bed...

At 18 he needs to figure it out...let him be late if necessary...with consequences, which is part of growing up...

 

[Jennasis]

I can smell it. Nasty people.

Now really. How on earth would you know if someone smelled because they didn't shower that morning? Do you question every smelly person about whether they showered that morning? Or is it just a particular person you know who doesn't shower every morning and still stinks?

 

[luvsJack]

I can smell it. Nasty people.

That has to be the weirdest comment ever. Do you honestly ask the people you “smell” when they take a shower? How on earth would you know?

 

[Cannot_Wait_4Disney]

A bonus Zombie poll.

4 out of 10 zombies said, they don't make a point of smelling peoples pits to see if they've taken a shower.
3 out of 10 zombies said, they would never ask someone why they smell.
2 out of 10 zombies said like we told you last time, it's nothing a bucket of cold water won't fix.
1 zombie got the bright idea to ask if she could smell our pits. That they all had utensils in their hands suggested we should get out of there and end the survey.