How to teach ur child to be proud, yet humble?

[WeLoveLilo05]

After finishing up student teaching with a K class I had one student who was constantly bragging about how smart she was, how she read chapter books, not "baby picture books". Her mom didn't make her do the K work, only the 1st grade work b/c she was "smarter than that." She went to 1st grade for 1/2 of the day for reading and math (later on she was moved to 1st grade completely) but she was always making comments about how she was "better" than the kids in the K classroom.
Now, I think about DD, she doesn't show any of these behaviors now (not that she is reading chapter books like this girl was, DD is average) but I don't ever want her to brag to other children that she is "better" than them. I want her to be proud of her accomplishments and I praise her, but I don't want her to be a bragger lol.
Any tips on how to "create" a humble child?

 

[nmmom95]

My younger son read pretty early and I just explained to him that everyone is good at something. Someone who can't read right now may be great at math or art or tying their own shoes. I never told him he was better than anyone else, because everyone has a gift or talent. I think that if a child has that attitude, it had to come from somewhere (*cough* parent *cough*)

 

[mamacatnv]

I think the best way to teach them is to point it out or show them examples as it happens.

DD's BFF not only brags but also puts things that DD does down. Example, they were both in a math competition, DD placed in the top 20 BFF did not, later that day I heard BFF make light of DD's placement (I can't remember now what exactly she said) but she basically said something along the lines of well last year when I placed there was more competition or something like that. I was annoyed and waited until later to point out to DD that what her BFF said was because of her BFF's insecurities and that DD need to not let it diminish her accomplishment. At the same time reminding DD that she does not need to rub in her placement to her friends.

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

Maybe it is semantics, but I don't teach my boys to be proud. I teach them to be confident in themselves. I also teach them to be humble. There is no conflict there.

IMO, you cannot teach your child to be both proud and humble. They are on opposite ends of the same spectrum.

 

[castleview]

I find it simple. Let them know you are proud of them for their accomplishments and kick their little *** when they brag.

One of my daughters is quite ahead in reading and math in her class. I know it can be frustrating to assure they are challenged. However, she will probably even out with the rest of the class soon and I don't want to look like an idiot by bragging about how much smarter she is. Plus, even though she's doing multiplication and division in second grade, she'll still do stupid things like walk in between two kids throwing a baseball. She might get straight As right now, but she's still a blonde.

 

[minkydog]

I don't know how to get a kid to stop bragging. My sister was the world's worst. She was brilliant and she knew it. She was the kind of kid that other kids love to hate, a real suck up. And she didn't alienate just kids. She thought nothing of correcting a teacher in class! ARGH. And my Dad encouraged it! Double ARGH. Drove my mother crazy.

The upshot is, my sister drove scads of friends away. Nobody wants to be around know-it-all braggart. The only people who could tolerate her were other super-competitive eggheads who thought they were God's gift to science & math. She was pretty unhappy with her lot in life, but she could never understand that she brought it on herself. I'd love to say she learned her lesson, but she didn't. In fact, the lesson that she's passing on to her daughter is that she is a "special snowflake" and nobody can hold a candle to her daughter's intelligence, creativity, manners, and potential. And unfortunately, her daughter is a very difficult, pouty, complaining individual that NOBODY wants to have around. Sad...

 

[Mary•Poppins]

I think you need to keep focusing on your child being humble. If you don't point out that "their success" is unusual, they will accept it as the norm.

My oldest was actually writing, yes writing, at 18 months. We NEVER let him know this was unusual. He is a sophomore, #1 in his class, in the 99% on standardized tests and really is a great kid. We never "pushed" for him to be in the gifted class ... he was tested and accepted.

We have had numerous teachers tell us that he is one of the brightest students they have ever taught ... and we always thank them and ask about his social life.

I TRULY feel that children develop the attitude you instill in them. We could have pushed for our child to "skip" a grade, etc... but would that prepare him for life? His social skills and the ability to relate and deal with his peers is what will get him through life and make him happy ... not his smarts!

I hope this helps.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

I'm not sure how to teach it--but other kids are pretty good about putting a kid in their place if they brag too much. If the kid doens't learn that lesson, tehn likely there is a parent on the other end saying something like "don't pay any attention to them...they are just jealous".