How to prepare kids for relatives with differing lifestyles/values OP POSTS #94

[married2mm]

My son had a friend whose family requested we remove family photos from the wall while their son visited. The photos which show a gay couple. They didn't like that it showed their son that being gay was possibly "normal and okay"

I'm so outraged by this-how absolutely appalling.

 

[alex9179]

My son had a friend whose family requested we remove family photos from the wall while their son visited. The photos which show a gay couple. They didn't like that it showed their son that being gay was possibly "normal and okay"

Apparently, respect is a one-way and narrow street for those people. Good golly, what gall.

 

[Mickey'snewestfan]

At my son's preschool, many years ago some parents asked the director to take down a "family picture" on the wall of their child's classroom for the same reason. The picture showed the director, the director's partner, and their child who was in the same classroom.

Ever since then, on admissions tours, the director stops by a classroom with a child with gay parents, and points out their family picture on the wall, saying "We post pictures of every child's family, here's an example, this is Lily with her Dads, Mitch and Cam". He figures the families who shouldn't be there will "self select" out of the admissions process.

 

[NHdisneylover]

I'm so outraged by this-how absolutely appalling.

Apparently, respect is a one-way and narrow street for those people. Good golly, what gall.

Yeah--we put up with a WHOLE lot of crazy from that family for the sakes of the boys (our son and theirs).

At my son's preschool, many years ago some parents asked the director to take down a "family picture" on the wall of their child's classroom for the same reason. The picture showed the director, the director's partner, and their child who was in the same classroom.

Ever since then, on admissions tours, the director stops by a classroom with a child with gay parents, and points out their family picture on the wall, saying "We post pictures of every child's family, here's an example, this is Lily with her Dads, Mitch and Cam". He figures the families who shouldn't be there will "self select" out of the admissions process.

An excellent solution!

 

[Lilliputian]

Can you give some examples?

Are you talking about family gatherings in which someone tries to trick your children into eating meat, knowing you are vegetarian? Or simply in which they serve meat based dishes at a buffet and then your kids feel "left out" when they cannot have half of what is on offer?

Definitely closer to trying to trick them into eating meat if they were vegetarians. More along the lines of turning on a movie for my children (there aren't any other kids, so the movie is specifically for them), and when they say that they need to ask their parents, telling them that they don't need to. And telling my homeschooled kids about all the stuff they're missing out on by not going to public school and telling them they should ask to not be homeschooled any more because it's not any fun. And telling my kids with life-threatening food allergies, "Oh, I'm sorry your mom won't let you eat anything good. It must be horrible to not get to eat anything." Despite the fact that I packed safe food for them with plenty of yummy, gooey treats, and the child isn't complaining or even looking sad. And when I tell adults that we don't use a certain word in our family, deliberately going to my children just to teach them a song featuring that word. (And remember it's not that there are other kids there who would be allowed to sing the song--they're waiting until I can't hear them and deliberately doing things they know my husband and I don't approve of.)

I'm totally fine with people doing the things themselves that they do every day. I would never request that people put away certain games, shows, books, or anything like that. My kids have learned what they can and can't do, so they just don't use or watch things that aren't okay in our family. And if there were other kids, I wouldn't mind the kids asking questions and rubbing in stuff they're allowed to do, because kids are like that. But I do think it's reasonable that adults not go up to my kids and tell them that my husband and I are horrible parents who don't let them have any fun.

It's okay, though. My kids usually ask them if they ever took their kids to WDW for a month at a time like we do.