How to handle relative in the workplace

[Myothername]

I work for a great company. My brother's wife, my SIL, also works here and was instrumental in my getting my job. We both love our jobs and the company. There is an opening now that she will qualify for and I am sure she is going to apply for it. The thing is after talking to our director I don't think she is going to get it. The job is a management position and as much as I love her she is just not management material. She lost a great deal of weight in the last year or so and honestly since then she has been in a foul mood. Not always but much worse than she ever was before. She does take antidepressants but she is so hard headed and stubborn and moody she will just not fit in that position. They will most likely hire one of her coworkers and I am afraid she will take it so personally.

I am sure she will be asking me why she didn't get the job and I hate to tell her it is because no one can get along with her anymore but that is the real reason.

What should I tell her if she doesn't get it?

 

[tlbwriter]

"Oh, that's too bad. Maybe next time. Did you ask them what you could do to make sure you're qualified the next time a managerial position comes up?"

 

[Handbag Lady]

I work for a great company. My brother's wife, my SIL, also works here and was instrumental in my getting my job. We both love our jobs and the company. There is an opening now that she will qualify for and I am sure she is going to apply for it. The thing is after talking to our director I don't think she is going to get it. The job is a management position and as much as I love her she is just not management material. She lost a great deal of weight in the last year or so and honestly since then she has been in a foul mood. Not always but much worse than she ever was before. She does take antidepressants but she is so hard headed and stubborn and moody she will just not fit in that position. They will most likely hire one of her coworkers and I am afraid she will take it so personally.

I am sure she will be asking me why she didn't get the job and I hate to tell her it is because no one can get along with her anymore but that is the real reason.

What should I tell her if she doesn't get it?

You tell her you are sorry she didn't get it, that you wish the new person well in their new job and you think they'd be great at it, and suggest she go to her superiors for tips on how she can snag the next opportunity.

There is always room for growth and always a learning experience. NEVER say anything against the promoted person, as that leads to a very bad path.

Suggest that your SIL was as qualified, but that the other person had more to give. That usually helps me, when I get overlooked (yes, it has happened!) for something I have my heart set on.

She just needs to work on herself more, but you can't really come out and say that.

 

[RitaE]

Lotso SIL drama in your life.

 

[Myothername]

You tell her you are sorry she didn't get it, that you wish the new person well in their new job and you think they'd be great at it, and suggest she go to her superiors for tips on how she can snag the next opportunity.

There is always room for growth and always a learning experience. NEVER say anything against the promoted person, as that leads to a very bad path.

Suggest that your SIL was as qualified, but that the other person had more to give. That usually helps me, when I get overlooked (yes, it has happened!) for something I have my heart set on.

She just needs to work on herself more, but you can't really come out and say that.

I like all these. Thanks. The thing is these positions don't come up very often. The girl who is leaving, actually moving up to another position, has been in this position about 5 years. It is a good job and no one wants to leave once they are in there. But she will just have to accept it.

 

[Myothername]

Lotso SIL drama in your life.

Tell me about it. This one at least is sane, LOL.

 

[MomRN]

she has been in a foul mood. Not always but much worse than she ever was before. She does take antidepressants but she is so hard headed and stubborn and moody

Sounds like she would fit in perfectly with management at my company.

 

[Myothername]

Sounds like she would fit in perfectly with management at my company.

LOL. Definitely in some branches of our company. Our particular office has a reputation though of everyone always getting along and it being such a pleasant place to work. Honestly I could go on vacation with all but one of the employees and have gone on vacation with several of them. We all get along and are very close. Some offices...not so much. Constant whining and bching. And it is all due to our director being so careful in who she hires.