How to give Elf on the Shelf

[Wendy31]

I‘ll add to the chorus of voices & advise that you may need to reconsider the elf as your Christmas present to your cousin’s children or, at least, talk to your cousin first.

If your cousin’s household isn’t much of a “Santa” household at Christmas, I doubt she’ll appreciate adding the elf into their Christmas traditions.

And it’s quite possible to have a “treasured celebration” at Christmas w/o Santa or any elves.

Our 3 kids were younger when the elf 1st became popular. (Our 2 older kids were on the cusp of believing/not believing.) I had no plans to purchase an elf, but, one evening, my husband came home w/ one.

And, admittedly, the elf is fun & can add some whimsy to Christmas… but it does get stressful having to remember to move him every night & come up w/ fun little elf antics. (We’ve only ever had 1 elf for our 3 kids.)

Once our 2 older kids confessed to knowing the truth about Santa & his elves, they took over the elf duties every night after our youngest went to bed - which was wonderful!

Even though our youngest now also knows, we’re still a house that “believes,” & the older 2 still have fun coming up w/ elf antics & setting up little scenes… so our elf still comes around every Christmas.

So, for our house, the elf has been a fun addition to our Christmas traditions - but that doesn’t mean it will be fun or HAS to be an addition to every family at Christmas, & whether or not the elf joins a family should probably be left up to each individual family for best elf results.

Again, a happy family Christmas w/ treasured celebrations isn’t dependent on Santa & his elves, & not every family wants to have an elf become part of their Christmas traditions.

Also - our elf has never reported back to Santa & has never been a ”threat.” He just hangs around & has fun w/ us & comes up w/ clever & cute little antics every night while we are asleep.

 

[PollyannaMom]

I admit I was kind of sad that this became popular around here after my DS was the right age, but that's because I would actually have enjoyed hiding it and such. Not all parents would!! So I would never give one as a gift.

I don't like the whole "touch them and they lose their magic" part, though. My friend's DD was heartbroken because her brother touched hers. (Magic was eventually restored.)

 

[kanne323]

Please talk to the mother and respect her decision if she says no. The elf brings more than a lot of work for parents- it also brings an added pressure to the kids during a stressful time of year. Not every kid responds well to the idea that the elf is watching their behavior. If a family wants to use an elf, that's great, but it's not for everyone. If this mom already doesn't do much with Santa, she may have reasons you're not aware of, so it's best to have a non-judgmental conversation.

 

[brockash]

I see my cousin and her kids (8 and 5) on Sunday. I bought them an Elf on the Shelf. It’s in the box with the book and everything.

How do I give it to them? Do I wrap it up and give it to the boys? (I won’t see them for Christmas so this is my Christmas present)

I am staying overnight with them so it would be fun to be there when they are introduced to it.

Do I give it to their Mom and just tell her to introduce it to them? (I’m fine if I don’t get the credit). Do I stumble across it and yell for the boys to come check it out?

I don’t think my cousin does the Santa thing much but Christmas is a treasured celebration. Even if they don’t believe, I’m hoping to adds a touch of fun and whimsy to the days before Christmas. (Hopefully my cousin doesn’t kill me for the extra work I am giving her!)

Elf on the Shelf wasn’t a thing until my kids were grown so I don’t know a whole lot about it lol.

OMG...I would never give someone else's kid an Elf on Shelf. It's a huge PITA that you're basically making someone else do...plus how do you know if the parents would even want something like that for their kids?

Very odd gift/post. If real, I certainly hope you cleared this with the parents ahead of time...although I have suspicions this is a pot-stirring post to begin with.

 

[disneychrista]

If Santa isn't part of their Christmas tradition, I don't understand why you would give them elf on the shelf. My daughters are grown and the elf wasn't around when they were of age but isn't the whole thing with the elf that he reports back to Santa?

 

[elaine amj]

Thanks for all the feedback! They were actually all really helpful

My cousin and I all celebrate Christmas and always have. It’s just we didn’t grow up here so Santa wasn’t a big thing for us. We all sorta vaguely half believed but mostly knew he wasn’t real. My kids sorta pretended to believe from 7-12 years and then I had to buy an extra present every year (even though I was pretty sure they were faking it). I just treated it as a bit of holiday fun.

I actually don’t know much about the Elf except for all the stuff that I see posted on FB (especially by my nieces) and it looks adorable, fun and adds a touch of whimsy to the holidays.

I pictured it as something cute to look forward to each day (like an Advent calendar) but I didn’t realize the Elf causes so much hassle - I didn’t know he absolutely must be moved every single night and that he needs to get up to that much trouble. My visions mostly involved him being moved around to various corners of the house every 1-3 nights.

Can he only move after bedtime? Not during the day?

I will message my cousin to see if she’s interested to take this on - or if she thinks it might be a fun thing for the older boy to do for his younger brother. If not, no biggie - I’ll just return it.

 

[slo]

Glad to read you’re going to ask your cousin first, because if I was your cousin I’d say thanks, but no thanks.

I’m so so so so so so glad that Elf on a Shelf became popular the year my DD19 stopped believing in Santa. I’d be ok with just moving it around, but all these over elaborate and messy scenes that others do, that the kids talk about with other kids, is not something I’d enjoy doing at all.

 

[PezRuth]

I see my cousin and her kids (8 and 5) on Sunday. I bought them an Elf on the Shelf. It’s in the box with the book and everything.

How do I give it to them? Do I wrap it up and give it to the boys? (I won’t see them for Christmas so this is my Christmas present)

I am staying overnight with them so it would be fun to be there when they are introduced to it.

Do I give it to their Mom and just tell her to introduce it to them? (I’m fine if I don’t get the credit). Do I stumble across it and yell for the boys to come check it out?

I don’t think my cousin does the Santa thing much but Christmas is a treasured celebration. Even if they don’t believe, I’m hoping to adds a touch of fun and whimsy to the days before Christmas. (Hopefully my cousin doesn’t kill me for the extra work I am giving her!)

Elf on the Shelf wasn’t a thing until my kids were grown so I don’t know a whole lot about it lol.

I just saw your update about talking to her first. Please do. We very much celebrate Santa in our house but I refuse to do the elf. It is just too much extra work for me at this time of year. Occasionally my youngest will ask about why the elf isn't in our house and I have answers for her. It is just not something we do. So get her input first. As I tell my 6 year old I have Santa's phone number so I don't need the Elf to spy on her.

 

[Magical2017]

I'd only give it if the parents were on board. My kids are teens and we still hide the elf for fun, with each of taking a turn to hide him so the others can find him. He still sometimes bakes cookies or has some other antics but we mostly just move him around and keep him out of the way of the dog. It's something I wanted to do, though.

I used to get really involved with the Elf and bought him outfits when the kids were little. It was fun and I am glad I did it since there were only so many years where they believed in Santa, but I would not want that put on me without warning. It's a nice gesture but I'd check with Mom and Dad.

 

[TwoMisfits]

Here's the thing - it's all about how you "sell" the elf. We did an elf on the shelf for a lot of years and we did receive it as a gift from my sis.

But, since it was a gift from my sis, we got to say that Santa sent us the lazy elf b/c he knew our cats already brought all the house energy we needed. We even named him "Lazy" b/c he'd hang on the tree and then not leave for a few days...then he'd be upside down on the curtain rod and hang there a few more...and then he'd sit on a bookshelf for a few...and then back to the tree. And half the time, he was too lazy to leave Christmas Eve, and just hung out til almost New Year's...

And this totally worked. We read the book every year and really had almost no work except wandering into the living room at night and thinking "oh yeah, it's been 4 days since Lazy moved - I should probably move him, so the kids can have to find him in the morning."

And that's all I did. And the kids LOVED it! The people who have the elves spend all of Advent doing antics are the people who far exceeded my skills and time...

 

[elaine amj]

Here's the thing - it's all about how you "sell" the elf. We did an elf on the shelf for a lot of years and we did receive it as a gift from my sis.

But, since it was a gift from my sis, we got to say that Santa sent us the lazy elf b/c he knew our cats already brought all the house energy we needed. We even named him "Lazy" b/c he'd hang on the tree and then not leave for a few days...then he'd be upside down on the curtain rod and hang there a few more...and then he'd sit on a bookshelf for a few...and then back to the tree. And half the time, he was too lazy to leave Christmas Eve, and just hung out til almost New Year's...

And this totally worked. We read the book every year and really had almost no work except wandering into the living room at night and thinking "oh yeah, it's been 4 days since Lazy moved - I should probably move him, so the kids can have to find him in the morning."

And that's all I did. And the kids LOVED it! The people who have the elves spend all of Advent doing antics are the people who far exceeded my skills and time...

This was more my thoughts about the Elf lol!

I did talk to my cousin and she has decided that she prefers not to have the Elf around. Glad I checked with you guys! I’ll return it.

I might keep an eye out for a secondhand one for my DD21 as she would totally have a blast doing this with her roomies Especially now I found out Disney Nuimo outfits fit the Elf. They had loads at the outlet store for $1.99 last time I was there!

 

[Babs Johnson]

Ut oh. That ranks about the same as giving a drum set or pet snake.

Check with the parents first.

 

[design_mom]

I don't like the whole "touch them and they lose their magic" part, though. My friend's DD was heartbroken because her brother touched hers. (Magic was eventually restored.)

So... I didn't want the elf (too much work at an already busy time of year). My daughter wanted one badly though. My sister/nieces had one and my sister's "into that stuff" and her elf was always doing fun things. One night, my daughter was crying and I asked what is wrong. She said "I asked [cousin] how you get an elf and she told me that you just have to wish for one. I have been wishing and wishing but an elf won't come. Why won't one come for me?!"

I still have no idea why she wanted one -- she was kind of a handful when she was little and I would think she wouldn't want anybody "spying on her" to tell Santa, but... she was so upset, I got a stupid elf.

The next year, we had already run out of new places to move the elf. Ours didn't do nearly as many "antics" but I definitely tried to move it every night. That night, my husband put it on top of a lamp in the family room. I said "I don't know, do you think it's too close to the lightbulb?" and he said "We never turn this lamp on!" and I said "I guess you're right" so he put the elf there. Well, wouldn't you guess... the next day he forgot about the elf and turned on the lamp. We didn't realize anything was up till we smelled the elf burning (like, it was on fire!) He grabbed the elf, threw it outside, and put out the fire. My daughter was beside herself/traumatized. Was it because her precious elf was burned? Was it because we might have burned down the house? Nope. It was because Daddy had touched the elf and that ruins his magic!

I stayed up very late that night repairing the elf and he was in place the next morning (I crafted some "new clothes" out of scraps of felt to cover the hole that burned into his backside) with a note "from Santa" saying that there was an exception in the magic rule when it's a true emergency, like the elf being on fire. (And Santa sincerely hoped that the elf would use better judgement in picking his watching spots from now on.)

 

[elaine amj]

So... I didn't want the elf (too much work at an already busy time of year). My daughter wanted one badly though. My sister/nieces had one and my sister's "into that stuff" and her elf was always doing fun things. One night, my daughter was crying and I asked what is wrong. She said "I asked [cousin] how you get an elf and she told me that you just have to wish for one. I have been wishing and wishing but an elf won't come. Why won't one come for me?!"

I still have no idea why she wanted one -- she was kind of a handful when she was little and I would think she wouldn't want anybody "spying on her" to tell Santa, but... she was so upset, I got a stupid elf.

The next year, we had already run out of new places to move the elf. Ours didn't do nearly as many "antics" but I definitely tried to move it every night. That night, my husband put it on top of a lamp in the family room. I said "I don't know, do you think it's too close to the lightbulb?" and he said "We never turn this lamp on!" and I said "I guess you're right" so he put the elf there. Well, wouldn't you guess... the next day he forgot about the elf and turned on the lamp. We didn't realize anything was up till we smelled the elf burning (like, it was on fire!) He grabbed the elf, threw it outside, and put out the fire. My daughter was beside herself/traumatized. Was it because her precious elf was burned? Was it because we might have burned down the house? Nope. It was because Daddy had touched the elf and that ruins his magic!

I stayed up very late that night repairing the elf and he was in place the next morning (with some new clothes to cover the hole that burned into his backside) with a note "from Santa" saying that there was an exception in the magic rule when it's a true emergency, like the elf being on fire. (And Santa sincerely hoped that the elf would use better judgement in picking his watching spots from now on.)

Now THAT is an Elf story that will become a family legend!