How should the non-religious handle church invitations?

[peg2001]

We have some very nice neighbors and the father is the head person at a large local church. Whether that makes him a minister, pastor, or reverand, I couldn't tell you, but he runs the church.

Since we've lived here (just over 4 years) they have invited us to several church events each year. Usually we decline but every once in a while, when it sounds like a lot of fun for our DD's, we accept. So, we've attended their fall festivals, watched their Christmas plays, and recently went to their egg hunt, but declined the invitation to attend Easter services.

I realize that it is part of their mission to draw people into their church and bring the godless to God but to be honest, we are not interested. So, I guess my question is, are we being rude by picking and choosing which invitations to accept? Should we be consistent and turn down all the invitations if we aren't willing to become active (believers) in their church? If so, should we turn them down one by one as we receive them or should we ask that we no longer be invited?

I'd be interested in hearing from both other non-church goers and active members of churches.

Peggy

 

[Beth76]

What if you asked your neighbors? Tell them that you enjoy going to certain social functions, but have no interest in attending church services. Ask if that is OK with them. I would think that they should be more than happy for you to attend the social functions even if not going to the actual church service. After all, they keep inviting you, don't they.

 

[Kimberle]

An invitation is just that, *an invitation*. Accept what you feel comfortable with, decline the others.

Don't worry, if he were offended or uncomfortable, he'd stop inviting you.

Enjoy the one's you accept, and don't "sweat" the ones you don't.

 

[Mercy]

Well I am a church goer and an active member of my church. I think you should just continue the way you have been going. Go to what you want and don't go if you are not interested. I don't see any harm in that. I have invited a lot of people to events at church and some will come and some will not. Just because they don't start attending on a regular basis and only come to certain select events, that does not offend me.

 

[JetMom]

You took the words right out of my mouth, Kimberle.

 

[luv2nascar]

I agree I think they would stop inviting you if it offended them
I'm sure they are holding out hope you'll come to a Sunday service

 

[Kirby]

I see nothing wrong with you accepting an invitation to only social events that you might want to attend. I would think that even though you haven't accepted an invitation to attend a worship service that their feelings are that you are still being exposed to Christianity. Sometimes attending the social events are what gets some people started going to church. Witnessing is not just sitting down and talking to someone of Christ, its also being an example.

I personally wouldn't say anything and if they invite you to a church function, go if you want or politely refuse if you don't. I'm sure that they don't think anything of it, I wouldn't. I've invited people to church services or functions and if they came, fine; if not, that was fine also.

I'm sure that they are just being friendly and wanting to share their faith in a non-threatening way (not that you feel threatened but some people do). And I'm sure that if one day you or other members of your family have questions, they will be more than happy to try to answer them.

 

[missypie]

Many Christians believe that if a person does not accept Jesus Christ as their savior, the person will burn in literal hell for all of eternity. So take your neighbor's invitations as a sign that they really care about you and what happens in the hereafter. (They aren't judging you, but with the stakes so high [eternity!], they want to "make sure.") If you don't want to be invited to anything again, you can tell them that (then they'll put you higher on their prayer list!), but if you like a few of the events, just accept the invitiations you want and say "no thank you" to the ones you don't want.

That's my advice as a recovering Southern Baptist. As a parent I have a little more advice: If, for some reason, you really don't want your daughters exposed to the Christian faith (you're Muslim or Jewish, for example), then don't accept any invitations. All of the events are used to "spread the word" in some way and if you are teaching your children something different, you don't want to confuse them when they're young.

 

[Cruise04]

I don't see anything wrong with it either. This may be their way of trying to get you to know more people in the area too. Since you are fairly new to the area it may be their way of saying you are welcome to the neighborhood and to the community. Perhaps those are the main things they do "fun" as a family and they think you will enjoy them too.

One question I do have is do they know you are non-religious? They may just assume that you haven't picked a church yet (well when they've asked you) and may not even realize that you chose not to be religious. There is no harm in telling them that you aren't really keen on attending religious services but you really enjoy their hospitality and invitations to other activities even if they are in their church or with their church group.

Or you can leave it as you've been doing. Not a thing wrong either way.

 

[disykat]

I agree with everyone that it is fine to only accept some invitations - those you feel comfortable with. I would not, however, TELL them to only invite you to less religious activities - I don't think it's polite to tell people what to invite you to! (I'll come to your church, but only if you don't get all religious on me ???? Personally I find that offensive.)

I'd just leave it as you have - then you can choose whether to accept or not. If you do not want them to invite you to religious services, then I would start declining all invitations to church.

 

[Otto's Doll]

I am a very active member of our church and the secretary there, as well as an ordained official, and I can tell you that you are being asked because they care about you and your family. It is fine for you to accept the offers that interest you, and to decline the ones that don't.
I would second Missypie in that the kids are being exposed to some type of teaching (perhaps just the love of Christ), and if there are things that you don't want them to be part of, then you should make that clear by declining the invitation.
The goal of the church is to draw people to God, and we never know what might touch someone, so we do invite people to all our activities (Vacation Bible School, Christmas plays, Harvest fests, Youth Group, breakfasts...) knowing that it may not be accepted, or may not lead to people coming to our church, and that is okay. We want to show Christ to our community, what people choose is up to them.

 

[Keli]

I invite friends and neighbors to all kinds of events at my church and I would never be insulted or offended if someone declined my invitations to services while accepting the ones to parties, plays, etc. If I didn't want the people to come to a particular event then I wouldn't have invited them. If I were you I would continue to do exactly as you are- accepting the invitations if you want to go and declining them if you don't. Our church always has a lot more people in attendance for the fun stuff, we expect that and plan for it and we'd be disappointed if people didn't show up. We just had our annual Easter 'candy rain' and as I was taking pictures of the event I noticed that I probably didn't know fully half the children there. I didn't mind that in the least, I just felt good while I took pictures of all the kids dashing for the candy, smiling, laughing and having a good time.

 

[luvmarypoppins]

My neighbors know we are christians and my sons invite one catholic familys two boys to both vacation bible school and the youth group at our church. They are happy as it gives their boys something to do that their parish does not offer. We do not try to "convert" them. I do tell the mom what will be taught and they bring home papers etc. She has never been offended. We also invited another family to see two of our boys in a christmas play. They are totally non religious. They didnt show up. My kids were really devestated. They were looking forward to them coming but I told them they would have to respect those parents wishes but they still play with them. I dont think your neighbors would be offended if you say no. As christians we have to always be ready to give an answer for the hope that lies within us and to share Gods love.

 

[Kallison]

I used to run the family events at our church and lots of times my friends would come to the fun stuff only. Go when you want.

 

[peg2001]

I appreciate all the replies. I'm surprised everyone agrees that it is ok to just accept the fun social event invitations. Sounds good to me!

We are not religious but I do want our DDs exposed to Christianity, as well as other religions. They were active in a Catholic play group when they were younger and that worked out very well.

Again, thank you for your input!
Peggy

 

[wendyl]

Originally posted by Kimberle
An invitation is just that, *an invitation*. Accept what you feel comfortable with, decline the others.

Don't worry, if he were offended or uncomfortable, he'd stop inviting you.

ITA--Couldn't have said it better myself. Personally, I hope you keep going--and I'm sure they do too.