How rude is this

[ksjayhawks]

How about saying something like

"This is so hard to say, but I must. The wedding invitation was just for you, not for you and a guest. Unfortunately due to budget and seating at the reception, we can only have so many people. I wanted to let you know so you can inform your guest. XXXX and I know you'll understand. We look forward to seeing you at the wedding."

If she chooses to get mad and not come, so be it. I wouldn't worry about it. I would also have someone alerted on your wedding day so that if she starts to take over, they can quickly divert her and stop it immediately!

 

[pixiedust23]

You could also say you wish it were a possibility but the reception hall will only let you have a certain number of guests and therefore their date will not be permitted. Just push the blame.

 

[heart4pooh]

I was once invited to a wedding of a friend from massage school, as were about 6 or 7 others from school. We were asked not to bring husbands, boyfriends, dates, children, etc... So, we decided to just make it a girls night out type of thing. Well, we were all seated at a table together, having a decent time (except we didn't bring money for the cash bar ...) when a guy moseyed up to our table, turned a chair around backwards and sat himself down (with a drink in his hand) and asked, is this the table for all the girls who couldn't get a date?!!!! My girlfriend asked him "Do we look too ugly to get dates?" and he proceeded to look at each of us one at a time, and said "Not all of you"!!!!!! I will never forget that.

 

[smiley]

Why don't you and your fiance' make a pro and con list regarding the matter. Then after you're done weighing the options, decide whether or not to confront the not so single guest.

 

[Tinkbell]

If it is that big of a problem, you should just flat out tell her not to bring a guest.

 

[4greatboys]

I was once invited to a wedding of a friend from massage school, as were about 6 or 7 others from school. We were asked not to bring husbands, boyfriends, dates, children, etc... So, we decided to just make it a girls night out type of thing. Well, we were all seated at a table together, having a decent time (except we didn't bring money for the cash bar ...) when a guy moseyed up to our table, turned a chair around backwards and sat himself down (with a drink in his hand) and asked, is this the table for all the girls who couldn't get a date?!!!! My girlfriend asked him "Do we look too ugly to get dates?" and he proceeded to look at each of us one at a time, and said "Not all of you"!!!!!! I will never forget that.

I think that would be okay if no one was bringing a guest I just got the impression she was the only one (or one of a few) they dont want to bring a guest with them. I still think if others are allowed to bring a guest then this person should be able to as well.

 

[kpm76]

I think you need to tell her, sorry, we really want you to be a part of our special day but the invitation was for you only and not a guest. Sometimes it's not just the expense of a wedding that limits the amount of people you can invite but the size of the venue where the reception is being held. DH and I were married in September and the country club where we had our reception had a ballroom that sat 200 comfortably. We could have easily invited 250-275 but we could not due to the fact that there would not be room. We loved the country club and were willing to sacrifice cutting our guest list to make it work, so inviting those friends and family who were not engaged or in very significant relationships with guests was out of the question. As far as I know, it is NOT a requirement to invite someone with a guest. Yes, it's a nice gesture but certainly not a given. This is your wedding and your rules. If this friend had the nerve to reply with a guest when she clearly was not invited with one, you need to have the nerve to tell her no, that's not acceptable. Sorry for the long post...having just gone through all of this myself, I really feel for you Good luck and congratulations!!

 

[Kallison]

Everybody needs these stories about their wedding to tell in the years to come. At my wedding a widow neighbor of my ILS, rsvped that she was bringing TWO more people with her. Then another person from my ILS side brought an extra person. On the day of the wedding 4 different guest from (you guessed it) the ILS side didn't show up or call ever.