How old were your kids before you let them stay home alone?

[cats7494]

How old were your kids before you let them stay home alone?

ETA: What specific rules did you have for your child(ren)?

Thanks!

 

[clh2]

DD was 9. No regrets. We started off after school, until we got home from work. She was absolutely old enough to handle the responsibilty, and had very specific ground rules, that if broken, she would have been back to the sitter the next day - no second chances.

She just turned 12, and has been babysitting (for good money) for about 6 months now.

 

[Karel]

It's hard question to answer - for how long? where did I go? When?

For any length of time, early in the evening or during the day, not knowing where when I was coming home - 12.

quick errands in town - 11.

This is the first year that I'm working outside of the home for more than three hours a day and I just left them last week at home - they are 15, 14, 12.

 

[goofy4tink]

My dd, now almost 13, wanted to be home alone when she was about 10. So, I would let her stay by herself if I was going to be in town, and home within an hour or so. Then, it was for a longer time after about 6 months. She did fine. At almost 12, we let her stay by herself for indefinate periods. Now, she is staying alone a bit at night. We always bring a cell phone with us at night though. She has never called us, but likes knowing that she can. I think the longest she has been by herself at night is about 3 hrs. so far.
Rules....since we have caller ID, she can see who is calling and make a judgement call as to whether or not to answer it. Doors stay locked and unopened. No using the stove. No leaving the house to play in the yard.

 

[SC Minnie]

For quick errands (less than 30 min) it was about 8-9 or so. After school was last year at 10.

The rules--

She has to call one of us (most of the time she calls both) to let us know she is home from school.

No friends can come over.

Do not answer the phone. If we call we will tell her to pick up when the answering machine comes on.

Do not answer the door.

No cooking expect with microwave.

For about 6 months every time I left her she would have to repeat the rules. I would tell her that if she broke the rules she would not be allowed to stay home alone.

So far everything has been OK.

 

[sajetto]

I don't have any kids, but I was just talking to my mom and we came to the conclusion that she left me home alone at either 8 or 9 pretty frequently. I don't ever remember her setting any ground rules, but before you think she's a terrible mother, we lived in the middle of no where so there were no strangers to come knocking on the door and I was a pretty level headed kid. I guess she just trusted me

 

[wdw4us2]

For quick errands, it was 9 years old. If we were going to be gone for over an hour, our DD was 12.

She had already taken the ARC Babysitter's Course (at 12) and knew CPR, emergency procedures, etc., so we figured it was okay.

We didn't leave DS alone for any amount of time until he was 11. He knows not to answer the phone without screening the caller ID and doesn't answer the door for anyone but relatives. Sorry for sterotypes, but our daughter was more responsible at a younger age than our son.

 

[buddy&wooz]

Quick errands, 10. Alone if I'm more than 15 minutes from home, 12. At night? 13. But it has varied a bit with each of my kids, my oldest was more responsible at a younger age than his younger brother.

Rules are no one in the house, no internet, brief phone calls only, doors locked, no cooking.

 

[dizagain]

DD, now 12, started staying home for VERY brief periods of time (like 20 minutes) at 10 1/2 or so. She requested this. She often stays home if I'm running errands or something anywhere from 1-2 hours. Her sister, now 10, has NO desire to be home alone and doesn't even really like to stay with her sister. Therefore, I don't push her to do so and only make her stay with sister if it's a very fast errand and she's not even dressed yet or something like that.

DD12 has taken babysitting/first aid classes this year with Girl Scouts and plans to start babysitting this summer.

Rules are about what others have stated. Check caller id before answering phone, don't answer door even for friends, no stove-microwave ok. Plus this silly rule for DD12 who tends to choke sometimes...no bagels!!!

 

[Grumpy's Wife]

I don't think there is any one answer. You just have to know your child. Some children mature much faster than others. For my DD she was 11 when I left her for short errands. At 12 I would let her watch her brother and sister if I was only gone for about an hour. Now she is 14 and it is so nice to have a built in babysitter in your own home.

 

[jonestavern]

I started leaving DS alone when he was 10.
I would go down the street--maybe 2/10 of a mile, sit there & read for 20 minutes
Over time I increased the duration. He was staying a few hours by himself by the time he was 11. I have to say he never really got into things around the house before that, & he (being an only child) could amuse himself quite well at a very young age. You just have to know your child~

FYI, I was shocked to find out that in some states/towns leaving your 12 year old child alone for any, but the most dire, reason, is illegal !
So be sure to check your town/state ordinances

Jean

 

[Kirby]

When our DD was 9 and our DS 11 we had our office away from the house. I'd leave in the morning and come back for lunch. I was only about five minutes away. Now the office is in our home and they really are home alone much at all. Now that our DS is 17, he is hardly ever home. We have left our DD (now 15) alone in the evening but she doesn't really care to be alone after dark. Sometimes if we know we are going to be gone for a while, we let her have a friend over to keep her company. We always let the friend's parents know that they are going to be by themselves.

Rules we had: no friends over without previous permission, check caller ID first, don't open the door to anyone unless it's us or grandma, in fact don't even go to the door, don't go outside, use stove only with permission.

 

[sha_lyn]

FYI, I was shocked to find out that in some states/towns leaving your 12 year old child alone for any, but the most dire, reason, is illegal !
So be sure to check your town/state ordinances

Yep. Here the law (last time I check) was that they had to be 13 or older to be left alone. It came up with neighbors when the middle school didn't have an after school program and the 5th grade was moved to middle school. Therefore there were 5th graders, and many 6th graders who "had" to be left alone at home after school until a parent came home.

 

[DVC-Don]

13 for a few hours.

1. No friends in the house
2. Only answer the phone when they know the person from the caller ID
3. Only answer the door when they know the person on the other side
4. No internet time (it's locked up)
Ours are not home alone regularly, just a couple times a month for DW and I to have a dinner date for an hour or two.

That said, the neighbor came home one day for a surprise "inspection" and found his 12 yo daughter inside with a 13 yo boyfriend doing "forbidden" activities. Their daughter was home every day after middle school for about an hour and a half. Now grandma is there after school.

 

[golfgal]

I let the kids stay home at 9. Usually it was short trips for things like dropping someone off somewhere or grocery shopping. We didn't have any real "rules" per se only normal house rules. We instructed them to tell anyone that might have called that they didn't know that mom was in the shower and could they take a message. They were also not allowed any friends in the house except for a select few. We are in a small town and are minutes away from home no matter where we are. We also have neighbors that would help if need be and I would do the same for their kids. So far the only thing that ever happened is I was browning some hamburger and THOUGHT I turned it off but didn't. It burned, the smoke alarm went off. DS13 was home alone, he turned off the stove, opened the windows and doors and went to get our neighbor, which is exactly as he should have done.

Our kids stay home alone quite often now. We never use a babysitter. If we go out of town and they are home, we will have them either go to DH's brother's house or just let my BIL/SIL know that they are home alone and we are where ever. That works well.

 

[golfgal]

Yep. Here the law (last time I check) was that they had to be 13 or older to be left alone. It came up with neighbors when the middle school didn't have an after school program and the 5th grade was moved to middle school. Therefore there were 5th graders, and many 6th graders who "had" to be left alone at home after school until a parent came home.

Are you sure it is a LAW. According to the US Department of Health and Human Services http://www.nccic.org/poptopics/homealone.html only Illinois and Maryland have LAWS about kids staying home and they both basically say that kids under 13 are not supposed to be left home for an unreasonable amount of time, which they DON'T define unreasonable.

Most states have guidelines and for good reason. Say the state says it is ok for a 13 year old to stay home alone and while that 13 year old is home alone, the house starts on fire and he dies. The parents sue the state because they SAID it was ok for him to be home alone. What is really called for is good judgement on the part of parents. If I lived in Downtown Minneapolis, my kids would NEVER be home alone. In our nice small town where the neighbors watch out for people and things are pretty safe, they are ok alone.

 

[Tinkerbellish]

My parents started leaving me home all day during the summer (when I wasn't at basketball camp) around 10. This means for about 1/2 the summer I would be watching my 6-year-old brother from about 9-3. Then for the other half of the summer I'd be alone untill abut 2 while my brother was at summer school. They would also leave me at home when they were a bit aggitated and went to go run errands/were doing something rediculously boring. My rules were:

-only anwser your cell phone
-no friends
-look at the directions on the door as to what to make/heat up for lunch (most things were just pop in the oven or microwave. The only thing that required a stove was like macaroni and cheese)
-no leaving the house
-no opening the door

Now I'm 15 (16 in December) and I have A LOT of leinency. Pretty much if my brother isn't home I can do what I want. The rules are:

-if I'm going out with friends call before I leave (the one I usualy hang out with drives so transportation isn't a problem)
-clean up the kitchen after cooking

 

[HOGFAN]

DS was in the 5th grade. He was really anxious not to go to afterschool daycare anymore. We were a little nervous about it but let him. In retrospect I wished we had waited til 6th grade(middle school here).

 

[cats7494]

Thank you for all your responses - it all makes sense!

 

[grlpwrd]

I have this site bookmarked: http://www.nccic.org/poptopics/homealone.html

There are state laws for what age the child can stay home alone, babysits, stays overnight alone, etc. Lots of tips and good info on that site, too.