How old to Leave Teenager Alone Overnight

[NYEmomma]

Gosh, the first time my parents left me was when I was 18 and they were chaperoning at my brother's band camp. It was for a week and I haaaaated it. I'm terrified of being home alone. Even now at 32, I hate it. My mid-teens I was still afraid at night when my parents were out into the late evening.

So I guess we'll just see how my girls are. I hope they're not like me and aren't afraid of their own shadow.

 

[mom2boys]

We left our boys home alone over night when they were 14 & 15. They were both capable of taking care of themselves. The have always been close and get along well. We were only about 30 minutes away. We live in a very safe area and we have noisy neighbors who would rat them out in a heartbeat.

 

[tasha99]

I left DD home alone overnight when she was 15 or 16, and came back to almost being evicted. (She had a party. Of course my neighbors told me about it right away--not sure how she thought that would go unnoticed.)

The funniest part was that everything was immaculate when I got home. DD and her friend were watching TV in the living room, and the kitchen was filling with suds from the dishwasher like something out of an I Love Lucy episode. They had their backs to it and were oblivious. I learned not to leave her alone and she learned that Palmolive is for handwashing only.

DS isn't super responsible, but he's less of a trouble maker than DD was. I've left him overnight twice for fishing trips (at 14 yrs old), but had a neighbor as well as my landlord check in on him. He was very aware that others would be dropping by to see how he was doing.

 

[Scrappy_Tink]

I left DD home alone overnight when she was 15 or 16, and came back to almost being evicted. (She had a party. Of course my neighbors told me about it right away--not sure how she thought that would go unnoticed.)

The funniest part was that everything was immaculate when I got home. DD and her friend were watching TV in the living room, and the kitchen was filling with suds from the dishwasher like something out of an I Love Lucy episode. They had their backs to it and were oblivious. I learned not to leave her alone and she learned that Palmolive is for handwashing only.

DS isn't super responsible, but he's less of a trouble maker than DD was. I've left him overnight twice for fishing trips (at 14 yrs old), but had a neighbor as well as my landlord check in on him. He was very aware that others would be dropping by to see how he was doing.

It's refreshing to see a parent admit their kid isn't the "mature, responsible one". I was always afraid something like that would happen with my oldest. The first time we left him alone, I warned him that I asked a few neighbors to keep an eye on the place and let me know immediately if they noticed any unusual activity. Just a preemptive strike, in case he got any ideas. We lived in house on a dead-end street that you had to go down a huge hill to get to. Everybody on that street knew who was going up & down that hill.

 

[shortbun]

It obviously depends on the child. If they are expected to care for younger children -imho, they should be fairly old, like 17. Alone, 16 for most kids would be ok. I would like to point out that my 53yo sister still resents me because our parents left us alone-alot, and I was in charge of her when she was a teenager. She's mentioned it several times. Don't force one child to be responsible for the younger ones too often.

 

[NHdisneylover]

On a silly note:

The first time we left the kids overnight, they were looking on Netflix for a movie and found Risky Bussiness

So, the next time we left, as we were heading out the door they said "don't worry, we decided to hold off on running a brothel until the summer"

 

[sPaRkLeSpAz]

College was the first time I stayed alone with no parents. My parents never left my sister and I alone when they went places together, we always went next door to my grandmother's house.

 

[lucyanna girl]

Just be extra sure you have working smoke alarms and that your teen will hear them. We had two boys, 16 and 18 killed in a house fire in our community this week. They were staying alone while family was out of town at a funeral. Around three am a fire broke out and both were killed.

Penny

 

[clh2]

When DD was 16, we opted to have a "house-night sitter" who came in about 9 or 10 pm, and left after DD got up for school. DD was LIVID. The sitter was a college student. Perhaps a waste of money - but we were gone - 1500 miles away, and were gone from Sunday through Wednesday. I was mostly concerned about DD getting up for school.

And - yes DD is very responsible - I was just worried about her getting up for school.And didn't want to deal with any issues while DH and I were in Vegas. If the trip were at a time when there wasn't school, or perhaps only a day of school (instead of 3) we might have done this differently.

Later in that school year, DH and I went up to my parents house overnight, it was a Saturday night, and DD stayed home specifically to work and watch the dog. Not a big deal.

I might add - there is no right answer and no wrong answer for this. Every parent gets to decide what works best for them. Just make sure your child knows what the rules/expectations are, and that your child is on-board with staying home alone.

 

[MrsPete]

So I have a question..How old were your teenagers when you left them home alone overnight? Just one night, and you wouldn't be too far away.

I am not planning on doing it, but my dd will be turning 16 and I know at 16 I was watching lil one's overnight, which is essentially like being alone overnight so it got me curious.

18. I didn't leave my oldest alone at home overnight, and I will not leave my youngest alone either. My husband and I might go out alone in the evening, but we're back before it's too late. No, they're not irresponsible kids at all, and I do trust them.

I'd argue that babysitting overnight at 16 is not really the equivalent of staying alone at home at 16. Why? Because when you're babysitting, you're playing a role -- you're the caretaker for a child, and you have responsibilities. A babysitter is likely to spend her time playing with the children 'til bedtime, then will probably watch TV or spend time on the computer or chatting with friends. In contrast, a teen on her own at home has no responsibilities and is more free to fill her time with mischief: To go out, to have friends over, whatever. Why create temptation?

 

[MrsPete]

It obviously depends on the child. If they are expected to care for younger children -imho, they should be fairly old, like 17. Alone, 16 for most kids would be ok. I would like to point out that my 53yo sister still resents me because our parents left us alone-alot, and I was in charge of her when she was a teenager. She's mentioned it several times. Don't force one child to be responsible for the younger ones too often.

As a fellow oldest child, I agree completely!

From the time I started high school, my siblings and I were home alone from the time we got off the bus 'til my mom came home from school and work. Sometimes that was 4:00, sometimes it was 9:00. At 14 years old, I was fine to stay by myself in the afternoons, do my homework, even start dinner . . . but I was not mature enough to take charge of the younger siblings every day, all day -- to hear about their day, to supervise their homework, to say when they could/couldn't go out. My mom was not in a position to have good choices, but a young teen sitter for all those younger children was far from an ideal choice. I shouldn't have been placed in that position, and the younger kids showed the scars of my ineptitude for years.

Furthermore, as you stated: They resented me for my attempts to assert some authority. I resented them because of them I was not allowed to take part in any after-school activities.

 

[GaSleepingBeautyFan]

We've never left ours alone overnight and my son is 17. My youngest is 13.

I guess we've never had a reason too.
Although with no neighbors we can really trust as backups right now, I don't know that I'd want to leave the teens alone until my son has a drivers license and a car in case of an emergency.

I was 12 the first time my parents left us alone overnight - I was in charge of my 3 younger sisters one of whom was a baby. It wasn't really my parents fault but the babysitter they hired showed up with her boyfriend and started lighting candles and turning out the lights and not taking care of my little sisters so I told her to get out of the house before I called the police. It was kind of funny/sad looking back on it.

When my parents got home the next day and saw we did fine with just me watching everyone, I became the normal household babysitter. At first I resented it until I started making some good money. All of that stopped though when we moved to another state and my parents couldn't afford to go out anymore.

So long story short - growing up it was 12 years old when I was overnight with no parents. I knew I wouldn't be doing that to my kids.

 

[Dancind]

As a fellow oldest child, I agree completely!

From the time I started high school, my siblings and I were home alone from the time we got off the bus 'til my mom came home from school and work. Sometimes that was 4:00, sometimes it was 9:00. At 14 years old, I was fine to stay by myself in the afternoons, do my homework, even start dinner . . . but I was not mature enough to take charge of the younger siblings every day, all day -- to hear about their day, to supervise their homework, to say when they could/couldn't go out. My mom was not in a position to have good choices, but a young teen sitter for all those younger children was far from an ideal choice. I shouldn't have been placed in that position, and the younger kids showed the scars of my ineptitude for years.

Furthermore, as you stated: They resented me for my attempts to assert some authority. I resented them because of them I was not allowed to take part in any after-school activities.

Mrs Pete, me too. Mom could barely wait until I was in mid school before she started working, she liked it a lot better than being a sahm. First it was Avon, then real estate. I did get to do after school plays though, maybe twice a year. It's no wonder I didn't have a kid until I was 35, and only one!

We finally went on a trip for our 20th and left her home alone at age 17. About the the third day in, could not raise her on her cel phone or our home phone. Tried and tried, and was pretty much freaking out. DH asked his brother who lives nearby to go check on her. He rang the doorbell, got no response, and then banged on her window. That got her up. She had been sleeping in with earplugs in - until 1:30 pm.

The second time we left her at age 19 was worse. She invited several internet acquaintances to crash at our house while we were gone. They were in town for a skateboarding event. Got wind of it and put a lock on our bedroom door before we left. Which resulted in some sweet revenge, our cat yelled loudly at our door all night long. Luckily, they were nice kids and didn't steal or break anything.

So, it probably wasn't a good idea to leave DD on her own. She's 22 next week, living on her own, has a boyfriend. So I guess we will trust her to take care of the cat when we take a trip for our 25th!

 

[aprilgail2]

We've never left ours alone overnight and my son is 17. My youngest is 13.

I guess we've never had a reason too.
Although with no neighbors we can really trust as backups right now, I don't know that I'd want to leave the teens alone until my son has a drivers license and a car in case of an emergency.

With no neighbors I would be hesitant to leave my daughter home by herself. My parents went to Barbados and left me and my brother home, I think I was 15 and he was 17- I know I wasn't driving yet so had to be under 16. I took the bus to the beach with some friends and fell asleep, ended up with sun poisoning. I called my pediatrition at the time and told him about my blisters etc and he called in a perscrition for me, my brother was working that night so I asked my neighbor to take me to go pick up the perscription (my parents left us a bunch of money just in case) so at least I had a neighbor to count on.

Another time they went to Florida and I remember not going to school for a few days while they were gone- My mom was a housewife so she was always there in my face 24/7- I just remember how wonderful it was to have the house to myself, be able to sit and watch TV without anyone yakking at me and eat what I wanted when I wanted.

 

[luvmy3]

18. I didn't leave my oldest alone at home overnight, and I will not leave my youngest alone either. My husband and I might go out alone in the evening, but we're back before it's too late. No, they're not irresponsible kids at all, and I do trust them.

I'd argue that babysitting overnight at 16 is not really the equivalent of staying alone at home at 16. Why? Because when you're babysitting, you're playing a role -- you're the caretaker for a child, and you have responsibilities. A babysitter is likely to spend her time playing with the children 'til bedtime, then will probably watch TV or spend time on the computer or chatting with friends. In contrast, a teen on her own at home has no responsibilities and is more free to fill her time with mischief: To go out, to have friends over, whatever. Why create temptation?

That depends on the teen though. Some teens, even with temptation are still good responsible kids.

Funny, when I was 16 I was sneaking out of my house in the middle of the night to do things that if I catch my kids doing I'll have a heart attack. The first time I was left alone for a weekend (at 18) I didn't dare do anything mischievous because I knew I was being tested.
My dd is only 15 and hasn't given me any reason to not trust her, but there hasn't been a reason for us to leave her and my dses alone overnight. I also don't trust the 2 older teen boys next door knowing that she was alone like that. I have no idea what the right age is, but I'll probably say 17ish.

 

[PigletsPal2]

We left DD#2, age 13, home alone for a week when we lived in Turkey. DH had a conference in Rome and offered to take me along for my birthday. We arranged for a co-worker to come stay at our house while we were gone, and DD was livid! She was adamant that she could stay by herself, and besides, she had a cat! (Not sure what that had to do with anything.)

After much hemming and hawing, we agreed that she could stay by herself. Our boss, whose wife was a SAHM, lived just down the hill, and she was under strict orders to call them with any problems. Her biggest worry was that she would run out of Cokes before we got back, but our boss promised that he would go to the commissary for her if she needed more.

I called her twice from Rome just to check in with her, and she was kind of indignant that I felt the need to check in!

She had no problems - she got herself off to school everyday, she did her homework every night, and she cooked dinner and made her lunches every night. All in all, it turned out to be a good decision to let her stay by herself.

Queen Colleen

 

[njcarita]

not till they are adults............. i have a 17...15....11 and even thought they are responsible and good kids..... could not imagine leaving them overnite........... until they are of age............

 

[dizcrazee]

I would never leave my dd15 by herself overnight...she would be terrified! I have always been a big chicken myself and she is following in my footsteps.

If we are gone overnight, she stays with grandma or her aunt (my sister). It is an opportunity for them to have some quality time together and everyone is happy. When she gets to be college-aged, she would have the option of staying by herself if she wants to, but I expect that she will still opt to stay with family for the night.

 

[NoSoup4U]

I would never leave my dd15 by herself overnight...she would be terrified! I have always been a big chicken myself and she is following in my footsteps.

Yup this is my kid too. He would be tio afraud. Frankly id never leave him overnight alone at that age. Not until 18 I think.

 

[TLSnell1981]

I didn't leave any of my children home alone...I've seen the movie.

We always had an older and wiser adult stay with the kids, even after the oldest turned 18.