How old is too old for DD's to go with DH in the men's room?

[imthatgirl]

I think a young woman is entitled to dry her shirt in the women's bathroom without having to worry about running into a 9yr old boy.

Do we really need to get that ridiculous?
Maybe we should all start calling the cops on the people brining the male children into the female restroom. That has to break some law somewhere.

Did you read the reply, the girl wasn't bothered y the boy. I got the impression it wasn't an issue

Did you read what I said? I guess not. why would you right? I said that I wouldn't care that she was doing that. But I am going to point out in this forum that she doesn't have the right to do it. In fact there are laws against it.
But...there are no laws against boys being in the girls room. Every state has it's own laws and I won't quote them all (you can look up your own in you'd like) but the average law states makes over the age pf 15 are not permitted in the opposite sex restroom. So you could call the police, but why would you bother?

 

[imthatgirl]

I'm sure you don't. It seems that you can't see past your own sense of entitlement to do as you please.

Like Hannathy, I would tell two young unaccompanied boys that they were in the wrong bathroom and point out where the mens room was located. Your sons might think I was the crazy one or they might realize that boys DON'T belong in a LADIES room without their mommy. I'm sorry that you have other issues that make it difficult for you to accompany them into the bathroom and then into the stall, but I would think those difficulties would make it a priority to encourage your young sons to become MORE independent.

Why would you think your opinion on who used the bathroom matters? Why would you think you have the right to discuss anything with someone else's children?

My children are very independent...age appropriately of course...which is why they can us the bathroom without me.

 

[maxiesmom]

Did you read the reply, the girl wasn't bothered y the boy. I got the impression it wasn't an issue

Did you read what I said? I guess not. why would you right? I said that I wouldn't care that she was doing that. But I am going to point out in this forum that she doesn't have the right to do it. In fact there are laws against it.
But...there are no laws against boys being in the girls room. Every state has it's own laws and I won't quote them all (you can look up your own in you'd like) but the average law states makes over the age pf 15 are not permitted in the opposite sex restroom. So you could call the police, but why would you bother?

You brought up the whole breaking the law thing. It is ridiculous to bring up the young girl was breaking the law by drying her shirt in order to shore up your own argument. That is what I was trying to point out. How ridiculous that is, and how unnecessary that comment was.

 

[imthatgirl]

I'm not a lawyer but I would find it hard to believe since the act of going to the bathroom means removing your clothing. I think this would be very hard to prove and in a bathroom there is a certain amount of implied privacy from the opposite sex.

I would have to see that to believe it.

Being in the bathroom is not the same as being in public. I can take all the pictures of you I want in public, but I can't of you in the bathroom.

No one goes to the bathroom in the public area of the bathroom. No one I've ever met anyway. I can't account for you or the people you know I suppose.
And yes I can use a camera in a public bathroom....I can not enter a stall where someone else is and use one.
no you can not undress in the bathroom outside the stall. There are laws about that. That would be covered under the pubic decency laws.

 

[imthatgirl]

You brought up the whole breaking the law thing. It is ridiculous to bring up the young girl was breaking the law by drying her shirt in order to shore up your own argument. That is what I was trying to point out. How ridiculous that is, and how unnecessary that comment was.

No...someone else brought up the fact that she had the "right" to do that. when in fact no she doesn't.
The girl actually has nothing to do with my position on public bathrooms....it is a completely different conversation.

 

[nhmommy]

yes, really. They don't have to be misbehaving to yank open a stall door when they thought no one was in it, but I have seen many boys made to stand in the women's room while mom went cause no end of trouble including soap on the floor, playing in the sink, and peeking into stalls. The kid that did it to me looked to be about 8. Mom was using the restroom a few stalls down. I loudly told him to cut it out, and I HOPE mom got the message. The kid that crawled into my stall was about 5, and thought I was his mom. I am not sure where his mom was at the time.

And do you feel it would have been safe for this child to wait outside on a bench while mom used the restroom? or do you feel the mom should have brought him in the stall with her/

 

[tiffjoy]

Boys going into the girls bathroom alone, without their mom, is not normal. Those little pictures on the bathroom door? They have a purpose. You aren't supposed to just pick and choose at will.

And if its so normal, do you use the men's room on occasion?

WHY is this your choice? It doesn't make any sense.

I quoted this simply because I wanted to say I have used the men's room on occasion- I used to do it all the time at concerts when the women's room had over a half hour wait. No guys seemed to mind, but then, it was a concert atmosphere and I was 21, 22 at the time. I'm not certain I'd get the same reaction now with my toddler daughter in tow.

Personally, I don't have any issue with boys of any age in the women's room. We have stalls that protect us from being out right visible while doing the deed, so I don't see the issue in the least. I understand completely if a mother is doing it out of safety, and I'd much rather she and her child feel safe and secure than not simply out of some weird sense of privacy between the genders when using the potty.

As for the girl who took off her top, I'm going to assume that's a pretty rare occurrence in the restroom. I've yet to see anyone start stripping out in the main part of the bathroom. In the stalls, yeah, sure, people change all the time. But right out in the open? No. I think those were pretty extenuating circumstances. (and I also don't think the mother in that case had a right to tell at the girl... I would have not made a big deal of it, and had my sons asked, I would have matter of factly explained that she was drying off her wet shirt. It's not like she was naked!)

 

[imthatgirl]

I quoted this simply because I wanted to say I have used the men's room on occasion- I used to do it all the time at concerts when the women's room had over a half hour wait. No guys seemed to mind, but then, it was a concert atmosphere and I was 21, 22 at the time. I'm not certain I'd get the same reaction now with my toddler daughter in tow.

Personally, I don't have any issue with boys of any age in the women's room. We have stalls that protect us from being out right visible while doing the deed, so I don't see the issue in the least. I understand completely if a mother is doing it out of safety, and I'd much rather she and her child feel safe and secure than not simply out of some weird sense of privacy between the genders when using the potty.

As for the girl who took off her top, I'm going to assume that's a pretty rare occurrence in the restroom. I've yet to see anyone start stripping out in the main part of the bathroom. In the stalls, yeah, sure, people change all the time. But right out in the open? No. I think those were pretty extenuating circumstances. (and I also don't think the mother in that case had a right to tell at the girl... I would have not made a big deal of it, and had my sons asked, I would have matter of factly explained that she was drying off her wet shirt. It's not like she was naked!)

I have also on occasion used a mens room. Usually at redsox games and Patriots games. It is illegal where I live, though men never seemed to care, lol.

 

[arihillfarm]

But why would BOYS go into a Womans room alone? and not the mens If you aren't with them. No one understand that. And you haven't explained your issue with sending boys into the wrong bathroom alone.

If I saw a boy coming in alone I would tell them they were in the wrong bathroom and to leave.

Which is less embarrassing if the boy has an issue? Mom going to help him in the women's room, or barging into the men's room as an adult woman?

-Astrid

 

[Hannathy]

No one goes to the bathroom in the public area of the bathroom. No one I've ever met anyway. I can't account for you or the people you know I suppose.
And yes I can use a camera in a public bathroom....I can not enter a stall where someone else is and use one.
no you can not undress in the bathroom outside the stall. There are laws about that. That would be covered under the pubic decency laws.

I was googling and did find an article about Boulder passing a new law about public nudity and right in the article :
What's exempt: Medical emergencies, dressing rooms, shower rooms, bathrooms or other areas designed for changing clothes. The code does not prevent women from being topless in public.

So I guess it isn't so cut and dry that it is against the law. I believe you will find this exemption in pretty much every ordinance around.

And a lot of bathrooms didn't or don't have doors/stalls so there goes your rule, including urinals, oh my are they all breaking the law?

 

[imthatgirl]

I was googling and did find an article about Boulder passing a new law about public nudity and right in the article :
What's exempt: Medical emergencies, dressing rooms, shower rooms, bathrooms or other areas designed for changing clothes. The code does not prevent women from being topless in public.

So I guess it isn't so cut and dry that it is against the law. I believe you will find this exemption in pretty much every ordinance around.

And a lot of bathrooms didn't or don't have doors/stalls so there goes your rule, including urinals, oh my are they all breaking the law?

It absolutely is against the law for women to be topless in public, lol.

I have yet to be in a womens public bathroom that doesn't have stalls.....but again, I won't claim to know about the places you frequent.

 

[Hannathy]

And do you feel it would have been safe for this child to wait outside on a bench while mom used the restroom? or do you feel the mom should have brought him in the stall with her/

Either one would work. At Disney my son waited for me outside on a bench all the time at 8. some places he couldn't do that and then I would have taken him into my stall. If it is for safety reasons why is he any safer standing out in the open in the bathroom than out in the door way. You can't watch him or do anything about it if you are in a stall.

It either is for safety reasons or it isn't and if it is for safety reasons act that way and keep him safe and with you.

 

[robinb]

Why would you think your opinion on who used the bathroom matters? Why would you think you have the right to discuss anything with someone else's children?

My children are very independent...age appropriately of course...which is why they can us the bathroom without me.

It isn't just MY opinion. Like LuvsJack said, the little icons on the bathroom door indicates the gender of the bathroom. As you seem to have some confusion in the matter, the one with the skirt is for women and girls. The one with the pants is for men and boys. That's not to say that girls in pants need to use the Mens room and men in kilts need to use the Ladies room . When BOTH icons are present, either gender may use the bathroom.

I believe that it takes a village to raise a child, so I would feel perfectly within my rights to speak to unaccompanied children who are doing something wrong as their parents are not around to speak to them themselves. This includes telling kids to "cut it out" if they are being disruptive or boys that they are in the incorrect bathroom. If you don't want strangers to speak to your children, perhaps you should re-tighten the apron strings.

 

[Hannathy]

It absolutely is against the law for women to be topless in public, lol.

I have yet to be in a womens public bathroom that doesn't have stalls.....but again, I won't claim to know about the places you frequent.

Wow I didn't know you personally rewrote the boulder law since I copied it right from the article.

 

[DianeW]

Well, she was drying her shirt because leaving it wet would have exposed her bra to EVERYONE she passed in AK that day, so by drying it in the restroom, she was preventing exposure to the rest of the public (and her bra was not the least bit "utilitarian" in style...she would have gotten lots of attention ). I'm sure she is entitled to some reasonable expectation of privacy in a women's restroom.

And, I have seem mothers changing children out of wet bathing suits, soiled clothing, etc. in the sink area of a restroom. Are the stalls more private? Of course, but we all know there isn't even room to change your mind in the stall of a public restroom, let alone your clothing. Accidents happen, and I'm sure those circumstances do not fall under the laws of public nudity.

But my point was just to illustrate that sometimes your children may be exposed to more that you might think when taking them into a restroom designated for the opposite sex. And frankly, the response of the woman encountering "drying shirt girl" really surprised me. I'd never seen that kind of reaction before.

 

[imthatgirl]

It isn't just MY opinion. Like LuvsJack said, the little icons on the bathroom door indicates the gender of the bathroom. As you seem to have some confusion in the matter, the one with the skirt is for women and girls. The one with the pants is for men and boys. That's not to say that girls in pants need to use the Mens room and men in kilts need to use the Ladies room . When BOTH icons are present, either gender may use the bathroom.

I believe that it takes a village to raise a child, so I would feel perfectly within my rights to speak to unaccompanied children who are doing something wrong as their parents are not around to speak to them themselves. This includes telling kids to "cut it out" if they are being disruptive or boys that they are in the incorrect bathroom. If you don't want strangers to speak to your children, perhaps you should re-tighten the apron strings.

Boys use the wome's room. this is normal. and completely legal. So whatever your issue is, is really no concern to me.
If they are legally allowed to be there...they would not be in the "wrong". So yes some crazy lady getting into their business in a bathroom would probably warrant you a creep. We do teach our kids not to talk to strangers, and they would ignore you...rightfully so.

 

[princessmom29]

And do you feel it would have been safe for this child to wait outside on a bench while mom used the restroom? or do you feel the mom should have brought him in the stall with her/

If he is not old enough to behave on a bench outside he should be in the stall with mom. If she cannot trust him t obehave outside the restroom on his own there is no expectation that he would do so inside either. He apparently needed to be supervised.

 

[ccgirl]

Did you read the reply, the girl wasn't bothered y the boy. I got the impression it wasn't an issue

Did you read what I said? I guess not. why would you right? I said that I wouldn't care that she was doing that. But I am going to point out in this forum that she doesn't have the right to do it. In fact there are laws against it.
But...there are no laws against boys being in the girls room. Every state has it's own laws and I won't quote them all (you can look up your own in you'd like) but the average law states makes over the age pf 15 are not permitted in the opposite sex restroom. So you could call the police, but why would you bother?

Just want to state that I was at a concert this past weekend and there were some girls that were arrested for being in the mens rooms. They had security posted at the restrooms to make sure people were using the correct restrooms. Men have a right to be at a urinal without women walking by them. You admitted that it was against the law where you live (which happens to be where I live as well), but apparently you don't seem to care. That is what I am confused about. I get that you have your hands full, and I'm sorry for that, but a girl does have a right to privacy without boys in the restrooms. Every park does have companion restrooms. I would scope these out and schedule potty breaks at them throughout the day. There are girls, my DD included, who would be very nervous with boys walking in a LADIES room alone. She has rights to.

 

[imthatgirl]

Wow I didn't know you personally rewrote the boulder law since I copied it right from the article.

So you are trying to tell us that in bolder women can walk around topless....sorry, I'm not buying it.

 

[arihillfarm]

It absolutely is against the law for women to be topless in public, lol.

I have yet to be in a womens public bathroom that doesn't have stalls.....but again, I won't claim to know about the places you frequent.

Topless according to most state laws mean without a bra or shirt on so if the girl still had her bra on, she was not topless. According to Ohio's revised code, the areola and lower part of the breast should be covered (except when nursing a baby of course) and it's interesting that on a quick google search, I found many lawsuits where public indecency laws were interpreted to cover only genitals or "private parts". Since both men and women have breasts, it is discriminatory to tell a man he can bear his breasts, but not a woman. If a woman goes topless in public and is arrested, chances are if she pushes the issue, it'll be found that she was wrongly arrested since no one wants to make a law telling men that they have to wear a shirt to work in the yard.

-Astrid