how old does your child need to be to..

[kelljacques@aol.com]

go up the road to a playground by themself.

I have a ds who is 9. He gets very uspet because I won't let him go buy himself to the playground when the little boy next door who is also 9 can go buy himself.

 

[Daxx]

Ummmm ... 21? Honestly, in this day and age, I don't let my child out of my sight. Too many wackos around. Sorry if I sound paranoid ... but we don't have a playground nearby and if DS8 goes outside, I'm with him. Thankfully, since we have to drive to the playground, the pool club, etc., I'm part of the package since I do the driving.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

16 and driving

the closest playground is 1 mile away on A1A (4 lanes)...so at 9--they'd definitely wouldn't be going.


I guess it depends on the proximity and how far away the playground is and what the street layout is around it.

I was in 2nd grade when my parents let me go to the library (could see it from my house) and to the playground (behind the row of houses that was across the street from us--could be seen from the library) by myself.

If you can see it from your house--perhaps try watching him from your yard for the first few times.

Also check the sex offenders list to see if any nearby that would be cause for concern.

 

[MamaLema]

My oldest will be 9 soon, and no, he won't be going to the park by himself anytime soon.

When I take my kids to the park, I'm amazed at how many young kids are at the park by themselves, some as young as 3-I kid you not!

I don't think there's no "right" age

 

[NMAmy]

Depends on the neighborhood and whether you can trust your child to make good decisions. I mean, they have to start somewhere.

I'm lucky that I live in an area where kids can kind of wander without worry. Dd's been taught the skills to help her if she should get into a bad situation. When she was your son's age, I'd let her and the girl next door go to the playground at the school by themselves. I could see them from my kitchen window and would check on them periodically. Once she proved responsible enough for that (i.e. checking in with me from time to time, letting me know if she was going to the friend's house, etc.), I started letting her go more places on her own and with a friend.

But I live in an area where kids play up and down the street at each other's homes--they also walk back and forth to 7-11 or the ice cream shop. (This is no further than the walk to and from her school every day.)

 

[kelljacques@aol.com]

ok.. I am not alone!!

but how do i explain this to my ds so he will understand..

 

[dumboiu]

ok.. I am not alone!!

but how do i explain this to my ds so he will understand..

You tell him that this is the way we do things in our family. Sometimes people who are not nice may come to the playgrounds, so it is best to have an adult with him while he is young. (then define young as under such-and-such age)

 

[CEDmom]

I think I will allow my DD to go to the playground a few blocks from our house without DH or I when she's around 12 provided she continues to be as responsible as she is now. There will be conditions to this which will include her carrying either a walkie talkie or a cell phone and going with another responsible child since I think there's safety in numbers. She will also have to pass a few trial runs.

We have a playground across the street from our house and I think I'd let DD go there for a little while with other kids when she's around 9. But I can see it from our backdoor and there are houses all around it and lots of activity.

BTW, the sex offender website for our state only lists the most dangerous 10-20% of offenders. The other 80-90% could be anywhere.

 

[snoopy]

12-ish.

 

[CEDmom]

ok.. I am not alone!!

but how do i explain this to my ds so he will understand..

Tell him that it's strangers you don't trust not him. I think kids get upset because they view us as thinking they're still babies.

 

[beattyfamily]

I can't see us letting either of our DDs walk anywhere (or bike) by themselves at any age and I can't see ever letting them play in a playground without adult supervision either, no matter how close by it is.

I've heard SO many stories of abductions in playgrounds or when a kid walks home from a friend's house (or where ever) which was only a couple of blocks away.

I won't risk it.

I also wouldn't leave my DDs alone at a pool party. I also won't let them play in the front yard by themselves either (thanks to an Oprah episode).

I would (and do) just tell my DDs how we do things, and why, and tell them that every family has their own set rules.

 

[Daxx]

You don't have to be a sex offender to be a kidnapper. That doesn't necessarily go hand-in-hand.

How do you explain it to your child? Simply say that it's your decision to make, not theirs. IfYou can always say that you're not X's mom, explain that you don't want anything to happen to them, and tell them that one day, he/she will understand.

Whatever you do, don't use the line "because I said so". Give them a reason why you said so. Concern for safety being your main issue.

Also, all those studies on talking to your kids about safety and stranger danger, etc. ... then, after the big parental talk, they put these kids in the mall and the first stranger (always someone from the crew as the parents monitor this from another room) who comes up and asks for help the child walks away with. That makes me so leary!!!

 

[Aidensmom]

When I take my kids to the park, I'm amazed at how many young kids are at the park by themselves, some as young as 3-I kid you not!

Or their parents are in another part of the park. Down the street from us are city softball fields, and there is a small playground there. I walked up there with my 3 year old and my dog yesterday evening so my son could play on the playground awhile. There were about 10 kids there, ranging from about 3 to 10 years old, and no adults whatsoever at the playground. Some of the bigger kids were just knocking down the little kids, or pushing them out of their way until I said something to them. Some of those little ones could have gotten hurt. All the kids were also talking to me and petting my dog, though I was a complete stranger, and none of the parents seemed to take notice. Not that I had any bad motives, but that is actually how a lot of sexual offenders work, they have something of interest (like a dog) to gain the attention and trust of the children. And I know for a fact that there is a sex offender living in the apartment complex across the street from this park.....

 

[minkydog]

IMO 9yo is too young to go unattended to the park. Aside from perverts and kidnappers, I would be equally concerned about accidents and bullies.

I allow my DD12 to go the to pool with a friend, but i drive her there & pick her up, I know the people at the pool, she only goes when the lifeguard is on duty, and often i have her 18yo brother go with her. HE would probably kill someone with his bare hands if anyone touche his sister.

 

[Nite0wl71]

My DD12 just started walking to school without me this past January. The school is about 1-2 blocks away. She walks with 2 other girls who all meet at my house. We have a church playground 1/2 block away and I let her go there by herself (well with friends) when she was 10 1/2. She never walks anywhere by herself.

 

[disykat]

I let my 12 year old have the run of the neighborhood - 3 culdesacs in a small subdivision. My 10 year old can't go past the next set of mailboxes.

 

[ckay87]

I recently let my 12 yo have the "run of the neighborhood" as well, but now we have this gang of kids (about 14 yo) who vandalize, smoke, do drugs, steal, do fireworks (serious ones) and they have the run of the neighborhood as well. I worry about other kids like this far more than kidnappers, etc. But he's at an age where he should be able to go to friends' and the park on his own, within our neighborhood. This kids make me SO mad. I think we're going to equip him with the walkie talkies and make sure he keeps us informed as to where he is all the time.

We're struggling with this right now also. For the record, I do not agree with those who say "never." And I absolutely do allow our 9 yo to play in his own yard (front and back) without my constantly being there.

 

[kelsco99]

It's great to get perspective on this from other people. I have a DD who is almost 7 and a 5 year old DS. I am lucky to live in a neighborhood that I have lived in my whole life and 50% of the neighborhood are relatives. I have let my daughter go with older cousins and friends(12 and 14 year olds) to the neighborhood park and store.
If I lived in a different type of neighborhood or in town where my neighbors are strangers, I couldn't imagine letting either child out of my sight.

As a side note, how old do you feel the minimum age is to "babysit" younger children (for example, for a parents dinner out)? When I was younger, I was babysitting when I was 11.

Kelly

 

[mtblujeans]

ok.. I am not alone!!

but how do i explain this to my ds so he will understand..

You tell him how much you completely cherish and adore him and that you would feel terrible and blame yourself if something were to happen to him AND that you enjoy watching him play and enjoy himself at the playground and that he should not take that pleasure away from you by making you stay home. (Obviously, my kids are going to need guilt counseling when they leave home)

 

[remyandhollandsmommy]

Well, it would depend on the situation I guess. I let Remy go to the playground by herself (she turns 7 today), BUT we also live on a military base, the neighbourhood is patrolled every hour by MPs, the playground I let her go to is two houses over and I can see the entire area from my balcony and three rooms. Also we have a "neighbourhood mommy patrol" LOL, the kids on our loop all play together and go house to house and the parents call the other parents when they leave to go to another house or back to the playground so we can keep track of them. If we lived in a normal neighbourhood then I would not let her go by herself until 10 or 12 (leaning towards 12 though).